What’s Your Number?

Okay, today is a super random post that I’ve been meaning to do for a while. 
 Back before Christmas, Andrew and I attended this charity dinner thing where we were sat at a big round table filled with of couples we didn’t know.  And you know how that goes…you start making introductions, chatting and inevitably someone asks “how many kids do you have?” and then you’re all talking about your kiddos.  
Well, at our table, the number of kids each couple had varied by quite a lot and for some reason, we started talking about which transition was the hardest for all of us…some said transitioning from 1 to 2 was the hardest while another couple said it was from 2 to 3 and one couple said after 4 kids, they’re all easy because well, you just have so many that they can’t be hard anymore.  There were a lot of us discussing this big question…what number was your hardest number when having kids?


  So, I thought we could share.  I know a lot of ladies read this who are still in the middle of having kids…maybe their first, maybe they’re contemplating that third one…and everyone has an opinion about what the hardest transition child is.  I thought that if we share, we could encourage each other because honestly, it varies for everyone and you’ll never know what your number is until…you have that number.  One time a friend of mine told me that you’ll never know how many kids you’re supposed to have until you have had one too many.  Isn’t that funny?!  That makes me laugh every time I think of it.  
So, what’s my number?  That night at dinner, Andrew and I were quick to agree that our number was…ONE.
 Oh sweet Kensington.  You kicked our butts.
Thinking back, going from one to two was simple and going from two to three felt easy too…but oh my word, going from none to one about killed us.  All of my friends who had babies before me and then continued having babies right after me, made having one look so easy but it was not easy over at the Shulls house.  It was HARD.

 At church.  Six days after having a c-section.  Why didn’t someone tell me to just skip church that week? Ha!  Nevertheless, I was there (with extra curly hair by the way).
Here are some reasons why I think one was hard for us:
1. I wasn’t used to being at home.  I had never been home during the day until the day I had Kensington.  So, for the first time in my adult life, I was sitting around my house during the day looking at things thinking “Huh, have there always been cobwebs under that end table?”, “Shouldn’t I organize something?”, “Shouldn’t I be cleaning something?”.  I just could not sit still.  I had never been home during the day before and I felt guilty just sitting there.  I felt like I needed to be cleaning/organizing/cooking/cleaning/folding laundry/weeding/cleaning…I felt bad for just sitting there, so I didn’t…and then I was overwhelmed with little projects I would start for myself and yet couldn’t finish because…I had a baby that cried all the time.

 2. Our sweet, sweet, sweet baby girl number one was a crier.  See this picture?  See the looks on our faces?  Those are looks of desperation and panic because the moment our beautiful child opened her eyes, she cried.  Seriously, if her eyes opened while you were out, you were done.  She was crying.  My mom still talks about it to this day because it was freakish…eyes open, she’s not at home, she’s crying.  You’re done.  She was just a crier.  She wasn’t content lying down and looking around or even just being held…she cried.  

3. We were tired. I have always been a morning person.  Before I had Kensington, my alarm went off at 4:50 every morning so I could hit the gym before work.  But…I wasn’t used to having uninterrupted sleep between 10 and 4:50.  Having to get up multiple times a night wore me out.  I wasn’t prepared for that either.  It’s one thing to know your baby is going to be up several times a night but it’s another thing to actually live it.

So, our number was one :).  Love this girl so much!  
I know there might be some more ones out there…but maybe you were a two?  Or a three?  Or a five ;)?  Share your number!  Let’s encourage those mamas who are at their number right now and think it’s the hardest thing in the world.  Because…my number one didn’t last very long.  In this picture here, I’m already pregnant with Smith.  My time with just baby number one was rocky at times but boy, IT WAS BRIEF.  I would give anything to get that time back because it goes by just so quickly.
xoxo
On my foodie blog today…
And bonus…it all cooks up in the slow cooker!
See you tomorrow for What’s Up Wednesday!
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  • ~Kristen February 23, 2016 at 11:21 am

    I'm with you Shay, mine was one. Rocked my world. I like to say that others gracefully enter motherhood; not me. I slid in kicking and screaming. It was hard on me, my marriage and probably everyone around us! Two was easy and three was easier. And yes, isn't hindsight always 20/20? I wish I would have enjoyed my sweet #1 a little more. -I honestly remember one night when I didn not know if I was coming or going. Did I just feed the baby? Do I need to feed the baby! Haha
    "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
    For babies grow up we learn to our sorrow
    So quiet down cobwebs,
    dust go to sleep
    I'm rocking my baby
    And babies don't keep."

    • Liz Harms February 23, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you, thank you for writing this! We only have one so far but he absolutely knocked me on my butt! All my friends talked about their first baby being so relaxing and serene and easy and I thought I must be so inept! Your comment is very encouraging.

  • Nicole February 23, 2016 at 11:34 am

    I love this post! I laughed, smiled and shook my head in agreement. A lot! I have a 3 year old girl and a 1 year old boy – so you understand a lot of what goes on in our household πŸ™‚

    My hardest was two, hands down! Our sweet girl was too easy. She slept through the night right away, she never really cried – just easy, and my little best friend I got to share my everyday life with. I know, I was pretty naive. πŸ˜‰

    Then we had our precious baby boy. BAM! I did every single thing with my daughter so it was extremely hard for me to learn how to give myself, my attention, my time to two instead of just one. And how you just described Kensington? That was our boy. Crying. All. The. Time. Up constantly in the night. Not easy. I adore him to pieces, and he's such an enjoyment now – but boy, he was not an easy baby.

    I was just surviving for that first year, but now – I am loving it, savoring all of it and you are so right! It is SO brief. God has His way in using motherhood to shape us, better us πŸ™‚

    All of that being said, you have been a huge encouragement to me! It's funny because you don't know me, yet I feel like we're friends. I love hearing your ideas, family traditions – and your "shades" of what your routine looked like when they were little, working out with kiddos, and being a boy and girl mom. SO encouraging!

  • Amber February 23, 2016 at 11:36 am

    I agree…ONE!!! Mary Dalton was a crude and had reflux AND colic…Jackson was born 17 months after her and he was a BREEZE!!!

  • Anonymous February 23, 2016 at 11:37 am

    Thanks so much for this, Shay! You spoke straight to my mama heart this morning. So many things you said have unfolded in our home over the last 6 months. It's tough but we're enjoying it & thank God daily!

  • Sarah February 23, 2016 at 11:45 am

    Love this post!!! We have two little girls (ages 3 and 2) and are on the fence about a third. I feel like a third would definitely be "one too many" LOL, so, we're very much undecided. At the same time, I don't quite feel like we're done yet. It's tough!! Going from zero to one was the hardest transition for us, too. But, our second also kicked our butts. Babies are just hard. I know for a fact a third could very well sink us hahahaha, so, who knows what we'll end up deciding!!

    Thanks for sharing!!

    -Sarah http://www.thefrugalmillionaireblog.com

  • erinnoe February 23, 2016 at 11:48 am

    I agree with ONE (now a mom of 2 beautiful boys), our first was a TERRIBLE sleeper and so colicky for the first few months-screamed every night for what seemed like hours!!! Sleep deprivation is so hard on the body and mind!!!!!

  • Nicola Foulds February 23, 2016 at 11:49 am

    Number one has been SO hard for us too! Colic made the first 3 months the hardest times for us and tested our relationship to the limit! We never got to enjoy the tiny baby stage because he was so irritable all of the time! We now, however, have a giggly, lovable and clever 14 month old who I can't bare to be without! So I most definitely agree that ONE is the hardest, but to those Mummy's out there who are still struggling – have hope, because it WILL get better, SO much better!! πŸ˜€

  • Nicola Foulds February 23, 2016 at 11:50 am

    Number one has been SO hard for us too! Colic made the first 3 months the hardest times for us and tested our relationship to the limit! We never got to enjoy the tiny baby stage because he was so irritable all of the time! We now, however, have a giggly, lovable and clever 14 month old who I can't bare to be without! So I most definitely agree that ONE is the hardest, but to those Mummy's out there who are still struggling – have hope, because it WILL get better, SO much better!! πŸ˜€

  • Jenna February 23, 2016 at 11:51 am

    Yup..number one was the hardest!! I loved my sleep before kids. After having my first I literally felt like a walking zombie 24/7. Going from 1-2 is a breeze. My girls are two years apart and having my 2nd was no big deal. My body has adjusted to the no sleep thing so it def didn't have the shock factor like it did the first time around. But like you said…all so worth it. Time goes by tooooo quickly!!!! <3

  • Eileen February 23, 2016 at 11:52 am

    I love this post!!!! #3 was definitely the easiest transition for me. I think it helped because #1 and #2 played together and occupied themselves. I think #2 was the hardest transition because #1 still needed all of my attention too. I do look back and laugh at things I did with #1 – if only I had known!!!

  • Paige February 23, 2016 at 11:57 am

    One is my number too! Sounds very similar to you- my first screamed for the first 5 months! Going from dreamy babyland to real life baby who cries all the time—that was a tough transition!!! But we have 2 now and all is well!

  • Erin Friedman February 23, 2016 at 11:59 am

    So glad you posted about this!! I currently have a 3 year old and one turning one next month and my husband and I are trying to decide when to have a third, so do we have one sooner rather than later? I've heard that 2 to 3 is even more of a challenge and 1 to 2 was pretty challenging however I don't think I've had my 'closure' of having children. I need to know that this is my last time being pregnant etc… (Although I know it is all in the Good Lord's hands) πŸ˜‰ Our boys are 3 years apart in age and I don't know if that is a good number (because some days I feel in over my head) or if we need to wait longer for a third!

    • Laura Lane February 23, 2016 at 2:43 pm

      Definitely have another. You will regret NOT having one more but NEVER regret having another. Plus you need to try for a daughter. If it's a boy that would be great and fun! But you would love a daughter! Just go for it..you are a pro and way more laid back with 3!! I have 5…it's awesome!!!!

    • Erin February 23, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      Thanks for the encouraging words Laura!! How far apart age wise are your kiddos?? πŸ™‚

  • Jami February 23, 2016 at 12:03 pm

    This is hard, I would say one. I wasn't prepared. He was a fairly easy baby, it was the lifestyle I wasn't prepared for. I was afraid to leave the house with him, afraid he would cry in public, if didn't help that it was winter so it was after dark when my husband got home. I was secretly happy to go back to work at 12 weeks, only to quit my job 4 months later to stay home full time. After that it was easy peasy.
    Transistioning to 2 wasn't hard for me as far as the logistics of having two as much as it was it was my hard baby. He cried, oh man did he cry, and spit up all the time, and multiple ear infections. My sister passed away when my 2nd was 4 months old… It was a very hard time. I guess he was about 9 or 10 months old when I finally snapped out of it. They are 8 and 5 now and the youngest is by far the easiest. Funny how that works.

  • DIYbyDesign February 23, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Number two was the one for us. To this day we call our first one the sucker baby because he made us look so good and made it so easy for us. It wasn't that he was an easy baby, he actually was more difficult in many ways. It was just easy because it was just one. When going from one to two it felt like we went from one to ten. I wanted to equally split my time but both wanted me all day long at the exact same times. That time flew. They're not 15 and 18!!

  • Erika Slaughter February 23, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    I think you remember well after having Ebby Lee the Slaughters were struggling!! I remember asking at a play date, "When do I get to stop feeding her a bottle every three hours?" And crickets. Clearly, I'd done my research. Hahaha! That first baby rocked our world! And then the second arrived promptly and we figured it all out. πŸ™‚

  • Unknown February 23, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Zero to One kicked my butt. πŸ™‚ We had many of the same challenges as you. One to two was hard (but less hard). Two to three was easy peasy.

  • Kristyn February 23, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Love this! I just had my first in December and the transition has been SO hard. You're so right when you say that knowing you'll be up all night is one thing but living it is another. I had no idea it would be this hard! And my girl is a relatively easy baby.

  • Mary Thornburg February 23, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I am in the middle of this with my 4 month old daughter. She's our first and it's been HARD. That's the only way to describe it. Motherhood, while I've always wanted/desired/anticipated it, I couldn't have anticipated this. I love her with my whole being, but it definitely hasn't been a graceful transition. She's a crier and was colicky, and it's been hard to sacrifice our freedom to do things whenever we want. Add in a cross country move at 3 months old away from family and friends and difficult wouldn't even begin to describe it. But God has given us his mercy and grace every step along the way thankfully. I know things will get easier. But thank you again for writing this. I sometimes feel very alone and crazy for having this be so hard. This came at just the right time. Keep doing what you do, Shay! It's a ministry.

    • JB February 23, 2016 at 2:21 pm

      I don't know you, but I totally know your situation and I FEEL FOR YOU. I've been there, and I felt like a failure so many times. But you're not. And you're not alone and you're not crazy. People don't often talk about how hard it can be. Chin up, momma. One hour at time. Saying a prayer for you and your family.

    • I Teach Math Yay! February 23, 2016 at 9:12 pm

      I moved across the country, away from a large family and lots of friends, when my daughter was three months old too. Joining meetup.com mommy groups saved me from depression and saved my marriage. I also attended all of the weekly library story times to get out of the house and make friends. I hired babysitters at care.com so I could have time for myself once in awhile and so I could have date nights out with my husband. I also swapped for free babysitting with other moms that I met at the meetup groups. The best thing you can do is to start making friends and planning play dates πŸ™‚

    • Mary Thornburg February 24, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      Thanks, y'all! Your words mean so much to me. ☺️

  • Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} February 23, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    LOLing at the look at panic on y'alls faces out at dinner. I SAW IT! She must have just opened her eyes! Well, we're sitting at 1 over here, and although hard (because even the easiest babies are hard), we had a pretty easy time of it. I was the mom taking pics at 2:30 a.m. when up for a feeding because I just couldn't get over how cute he looked RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT.

    • Mrs W February 23, 2016 at 4:39 pm

      Hi Sheaffer! May I ask you a question? Do you ever wish you had more kids? Maybe that's too personal and I'm sorry if it is. But we have only one too, she's 3 and she was a relatively easy baby and I feel like I "might" be done with one, I could possibly do two. But going from a pretty independent 3 year-old to a newborn again scares me. Plus, everybody tells us how if the first one is a good baby, the second one will be a terror!

    • MizGrant February 23, 2016 at 8:23 pm

      I know how you feel. I just had my second (5 weeks old) after having a very independent 4 year old girl. Boy has it been hard getting back to life with a newborn. We struggled with the idea of having just one but ultimately we decided we wanted her to have a sibling. It's been tough the past few weeks bc she's use to having Mommy & Daddy to herself but I know (hope) it will be worth it in the long run.
      I know it you are considering it then go for it!

    • Casey February 23, 2016 at 8:29 pm

      Obviously I'm not Sheaffer, ha! But, I have two and for a long time I wondered if I would be fine with just one. My first baby was so good, slept through the night, ate great, always in a good mood. I was scared to have another. But I did and boy do I love him and I would not change a thing! He is Mama's boy and I love him to pieces! BUT, he is the complete 180 from his sister. He never sleeps through the night (and he is 6), he cried a lot, he is extremely high maintenance, and he not easy going. But he is the sweetest and best cuddler ever! So, all that to say, I did feel pressure to not have have just one child because that first needed a sibling. Don't listen to what people say or if they make you feel guilty about having one. Chances are they won't be best buddies (at first anyway). Mine fight all the time and there is 4 years between them so they don't play together either. Again, please understand I love both of my children but it can be scary. But if you do that second one will bless you and you will love them more than you ever thought you could! πŸ™‚

  • Amy Hyman February 23, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    One and two would be our number. We went from one to two in 3 months. After a 4 year long adoption wait and infertility stuff. We brought our daughter home from China and 3 short months later our biological son was born. And before he was born our daughter had cleft palate surgery. It's not been easy but now to watch them play together and be brother and sister, I wouldn't want it to be any different. Our son just turned 1. Things are starting to get a little easier (and I say that lightly). Love your blog. Also loving your cookbooks??.

  • Sara February 23, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    To this whole post, I say, Amen! One rocked my world and has made me far too scared from contemplating a second. Your honesty is refreshing!

  • Julie February 23, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    We went from zero to two. It was really really hard, but we were also in Uganda and ended up stuck there for 13 weeks. Now that we're home it's getting easier, but oh my goodness, has having two kids at once been a HUGE transition!

  • Narci February 23, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    Love this! Luke wasn't a great sleeper so going from 1-2 was so hard for us!! Now, he's the easiest going of the bunch so there you go! Going from 2-3 was a breeze, but mostly because I was more relaxed and let go of a lot of things ( like the laundry that really was never going to come to an end!) haha! Great post, girl!!

  • kimm atwood February 23, 2016 at 12:27 pm

    I love this post!!! For me the number was 4….and it was just for a few months. Jack and AJ are 18 months apart and AJ wasn't the best baby…colic, needing to be held ALL the time…Jack was still kind of a baby and most days I was just plain crazy…it was hard. But once he got to be about 6 months it wasn't too bad and by the time #5 came along it didn't even phase me! Have a great day

  • Katie Compton February 23, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    My number is one. We had our sweet girl 8 years ago and she was a great baby and easy toddler. She's our only so God must have thought we got it right the first time so no need for more. πŸ™‚ We're a pretty amazing family of 3!

  • Robyn Marrie February 23, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    ONE! For sure! I remember my brother saying about his first, if anyone had told them the truth of how hard it would be, they would have never had kids. I remember little old ladys at church saying isn't motherhood wonderful, and I thought, how in the world could you say that this early on with all the difficulty! But I now have 3 precious girls, ages 11, 7, and 4. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. But yes, my first sounds just like yours! Colicky and cried unless she was sucking on me!?

  • Allie February 23, 2016 at 12:36 pm

    Love this as we have two little boys and constantly talk about having a third. I would love to hear about those who went from 2 to 3. I know that a parent would never say she regrets having a third but I would like to know the honest hardships of having a third child. Or, the honest beauty of it πŸ™‚

    • Sarah February 23, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      Going from 2 to 3 was a huge challenge for me (the amount of work, busy-ness, demands, etc.) Now that #3 is almost 2, and he plays beautifully with his older brother & sister, which just makes my mommy heart so, so happy (totally worth it). I'm pregnant w/ #4 now, so I say go for #3. The amount of work is a lot in the beginning, but it does get easier (as cliche as it sounds)!

    • Melissa February 23, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      2 to 3 was the hardest transition for us. Life seemed to just get SO loud! Ha! You don't have enough hands to hold onto everyone in a parking lot, you have to wait longer for a table at a restaurant because you're now a "large" party, you can't even borrow a sedan because three car seats in a small back seat? Ha! But really, I absolutely cannot imagine life without our third. Our oldest is just like me, the middle is my husband, so our baby has just been this whole new wild card for us and it's just made life even better. The kids rotate who plays with who. There's more noise, but often it's laughter and fun (not going to say it's not also fighting and people touching other people…) We just knew there was still someone else meant to be in our family, so though the transition was tough, I know our family is exactly as it's supposed to be!

    • clatk February 24, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      Let me be real- I cannot, CANNOT imagine life without my spunky, feisty, amazing 3rd, but oh my word, three kids has kicked my tail. She is 4 and I am still a chicken with my head cut off. Let me say though, I do not have a single laid back child, all 3 are high strung (they come by it honestly πŸ˜‰ ) so maybe if you have an easier one, 3 is a bit breezier…

  • Carrie February 23, 2016 at 12:40 pm

    Uh ours was to number 2 and there would have been a 3 if our experience wasn't so bad. I would go for number 3 any day but my husband says absolutely not and I am ok with that I suppose. Our 2nd was also a crier, if she was awake she was screaming. She only slept for 20 min at a time until she was 3 or 4 months old or when I left her with my in laws. I remember I left her 2x with my inlaws for doctors appointments and returned to find out that she had slept the entire 2 hours…. In anycase we do regret that year because we found out at age 1 that we had been grossly under treating her GERD. She was in pain. We knew she had GERD as it was so bad she would lose her voice but we only saw her pediatrician not a GI. My advice now is that if you can afford, get a GI consult. If we had done it sooner, our little one would have been a lot happier. She also had a swallowing disorder and FPIES and an attitude. The attitude remains at age 5 but we are heading towards the other side of her medical issues. She basically feels little pain now and the doctors feel it is due to the amount of pain she was in for her first 18 months to 2 years of age. She passed strep to the whole family last year because her "amazingly infected" throat did not hurt her. I had her checked because 3 of us had it and she had lost her voice. The doctor said she was certainly the carrier looking at her throat. We love her but that first year or two did us in. Luckily my oldest just was so tickled at the thought of having a sister that nothing bothered her. They are best friends.

  • Lauren and Eddie February 23, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    I only have two so I can't compare it to "NUMBER THREE," but number one was our hardest transition as well. I had a baby a little over a year moving to a town where we knew NO ONE. My mom was only an hour and a half away, but most days I sat at home just waiting until Eddie would come home to talk to me. James was not a sleeper – conditions had to be just right – so most of my day was spent getting him to take a nap. He wasn't a crier, though. Thankfully, he loved to be on the go so most of our days were spent wandering Hobby Lobby and Target. I also read a LOT of blogs that first year so I feel like a lot of blog girls are my bffs. I was alone and lonely and they were my friends. We joined a church after James was a few months old and that helped TREMENDOUSLY. By the time Will came around we had friends and things to do!

  • Elizabeth February 23, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    We went from one to four in one jump (We had triplet boys when our daughter was two). And even in that chaos with a preschooler and infant triplets, we would still say our oldest was the hardest! Everything was so new and scary with your first. When you have four you just embrace the fact that someone will always be crying and you
    can't make everyone happy at the same time. Haha!

  • Nicole February 23, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Oh wow… I am so with you! I have two girls, 3 & 1. Our oldest was so hard. I feel like part of it was just being naive about the unknown & just having no clue what we were in for. But, she was a hard baby. She had colic & cried all the time! My husband was gone a lot & we didn't have any family around. Now, our youngest was a piece of cake, but still hard in her own little ways. But overall, so much easier going from 1 to 2.

  • Paula February 23, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    Full, 100% agreement! ONE! For all the same reasons except the crying. Colton was my BEST baby! And I was the worse at it with him. I hated getting up, the sitting, being tired, the guilt, the sitting, the guilt, the sitting, the guilt….see the pattern. I worked up to that point and it all made me feel weird.
    I see it all now 4 kids later! Man I wish I could back and do what everyone tells you, ENJOY! EMBRACE! Because it us truly give in a blink.

  • Susan H. February 23, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    It is oddly super encouraging to me to hear that #1 was/is the hardest for a lot of people! We have a 2 1/2 year old boy and are in the midst of deciding if we are "one and done" or going to try for #2. There have been so many days I think that I just can't do this again and can't imagine adding another little one to our crazy, but other days I can't imagine being done! This has definitely pushed me closer to trying for just one more πŸ™‚

    • Mrs W February 23, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      Right?! I feel the same way! I have a 3 year old girl and we're on the fence too. My husband isn't ready for another yet, but he's not opposed to having one a little later. I'm just worried that the self-sufficiency of my 3 year old will go out the window with a newborn. Then again, when I see the way she is with other babies, just melts my heart and I think she needs a sibling.

  • Tara G. February 23, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    3 because I got pregnant after coming off 2 deployments and being home with 2 (one of whom was a newborn) and then my husband had the job from H double hockey sticks and it felt like he was deployed down the road. Then we had to sell the house and move from one coast to the other when #3 was 2 months old for hubby to go to graduate school for 15 months before getting orders to move overseas again to a second world country…and they sent out household goods through China instead of the shorter route through Europe, so we had suitcases for 5 months before we could begin to settle in. But she's a double portion of God's grace and I'm so thankful for that living reminder every single day. πŸ™‚

  • Tricia Bermes February 23, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    Our number was.. 3&4. Because they came together, as twins. They threw us for a complete loop and honestly, still do most days and they're 3 now. We had a 1 year old and a 2 year old when they were born, all boys, and it was the hardest, most challenging times of our lives. They were colicky and cried so often. Like I said, they're 3 now and the crying has (mostly) passed and now they're just rambunctious, adventurous, daring little boys. We are blessed no matter how challenging having 4 aged 6 and under is!

    • Lori F. February 23, 2016 at 11:14 pm

      Just has to comment because we had twins as numbers 3 & 4 and all of ours are boys too! Our older two were 2 and 3 years old when the twins arrived. It was a crazy time but I would change it for the world! Now my boys are 16, 14, 12 & 12 and they are great buds. I love that they enjoy the same movies, vacations, hobbies, etc – it makes activities fun for all. Enjoy every second because I feel like I blinked and they all grew up. And I promise – every day gets a little easier! God bless you!

    • Lee Family February 26, 2016 at 3:22 pm

      Mine were 1 & 2 when the 3rd baby arrived and it was CRAZY. Transitioning to 3 was insane for me. It didn't matter that I "already knew what to do" – there were toddlers running everywhere and a NB who needed me full time. I looked back at kiddo #1 when there were 2 of us vs. her and wondered what I was crying about! 3 kids in 37 months was not for the faint of heart and you had four!!!! Cheers to you for surviving and seeing the blessing in it all πŸ™‚

  • brookerichardson February 23, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    I've had this conversation so many times and you are right it varies a lot! Ours was #2! It might be hard to believe but Cooper was our crier so taking taking of a colicky baby while also having a 21 month old to care for was no joke. There was no sleeping when they baby slept because you still had a toddler to take care of. After about 5 months though, Cooper stopped crying was an angel. He was our easiest toddler so I think it all balances out πŸ™‚ Going 0 to 1 is definitley a game changer but for us 2 was just so hard. It made us contemplate do we even have more children??? lol
    We did almost 4 years later and my the transition from 2-3 was smooth and so much easier!!!! Woo hoo!

  • mcompton February 23, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    Yes One was the hardest, adjusting to waking up in the night, to packing a bag to go to the store. My first also had a bilateral hernia, that only descended at night, So by the time the pediatrician opened it had gone back. So for what seemed like forever he cried at night.
    Three the final number was no big deal,

  • Sarah February 23, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Baby #3 rocked my world. I had him in May, so my 2 & 4 year olds were begging to go outside and do things that entire summer (which we did), but my inner mommy-bear just wanted to stay inside all day and cuddle my newborn! I'm pregnant with #4 now (due in September), and I have a good feeling about this one. We'll see (crosses fingers)!!!

  • Angela Messer February 23, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    My first was an easy baby, she barely cried, but she could wake up in the middle of the night and decide it was party time. I remember her waking at 10pm sometimes and not going back to sleep until 4am. She was happy though! Then I got pregnant with # 2 and it went downhill. # 1 turned into a little monster (I say that lovingly though) when she was 2.5. She is just now straightening up and she's 8. lol! Now my 5 year old turned into a little monster when he was 3.5. They were both very easy babies. It was the later years that killed me.

  • Liz February 23, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    One was so hard, he never slept, we were both working so at a year old we let him sleep with us so we didn't have to get up so much. When our second (girl) was born, she slept the first night. We woke up startled at 7:30 a.m. and had to make sure she was breathing. She slept all the time and was happy all the time.

  • Laura February 23, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    We have three (number four on the way!) and our number was definitely two. I think some of it had to do with when you only have one you can always hand them back and forth or relax when the baby sleeps but with two there is almost no down time. But mostly I think it was hard because our number two was a crier much like your number one. She cried ALL THE TIME for about 6 months and even after that she was just a very high maintenance girl, well really to this day!

  • Amy Lawrence February 23, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    Mine was two. He was the crier. Our first was easy easy. Two rocked our world.

  • The Snodgrass Family February 23, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    Numbers 3 and 4 which came in the form of **Surprise!!** twins. They are 6 months now, and our head is slowly coming above the water! We also have two girls, 8 and 5.

    • Jill Mayo-Singh February 23, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      I hear you! 3 and 4 for me were toughest…I have twin girls and the first 6 months are toughest! They are 3 now and as hard as it was in the beginning, I do miss it πŸ™‚

  • Lindsey McGuire February 23, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    TWO!!!!!!! Number two has sent me for about 10 loops at this point. He'll be one next month and it is NOT getting any easier. He is the sweetest little boy but when it comes to bed time and sleeping through the night – it's just bad. Last night I spent from 8PM – 1AM just trying to get him to sleep. There was A LOT of screaming. I just can't get him to stay sleeping once I put him down. He wants held all night and that is just not happening. My husband has a stomach bug so it was just me and a screaming baby boy. Needless to say – I feel like I am just going to crack – I can't do it. Thank you for this post – I keep telling myself it's going to get better, but I have a hard time believing it b/c right now, it is just so hard.

  • Lindsey McGuire February 23, 2016 at 2:14 pm

    Number two has been the most difficult by far. My first born (boy – 5- Nolan) was the EASIEST kid and still continues to be. My second born (boy-11 months-Cayde) is TOUGH. I say it's his red hair that makes him feisty. I'm still wondering when it is supposed to get better. I had a feeling it was going to be rough the minute he was born – he almost didn't make it as he had to be resuscitated but is such a fighter and ended up perfectly fine. Since that day – he's been strong willed and does things his way. Including a bedtime routine… Last night I spent from 8PM-1AM trying to get him to sleep. There was a lot of screaming from him and tears from me. It was awful. One day it's going to get better, right? Because right now, I don't believe it!

    Thank you for posting this Shay – it reminds me that in the end, it will all be ok.

  • JB February 23, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    I thought number 1 was hard until I had number TWO. And I swear, number two almost did me in. And now I know that number one was easy! But now, 12 months later, he's the happiest, smiliest, most pleasant baby and I just want to kiss him nonstop. As hard he was, I know that God let me walk through that time for a reason. I may not fully understand that reason yet, but I know gaining empathy for others is part of it. I can't imagine my life without my two boys. There are days when I want a 3rd…and days where I'm perfectly content with two. It's a harder decision than I ever thought it would be.

  • Stephanie Jennings February 23, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    My number is 3 and 4 together. Twins!! I had a 2 and 3 year old and went from 2 to 4 overnight. So…4 kids under 4 was really difficult for me. Talk about sleep deprived!! It honestly didn't get easier until the twins were about 2. They are 5 now, and it's a piece of cake finally. Well, sometimes…..lol πŸ™‚

    • Lori F. February 23, 2016 at 11:30 pm

      I has 4 under 4 too! My twins came along when the older two were 2 & 3 – and it was a certainly a whirlwind! I wouldn't change a thing though. And every day gets easier. My boys are 16, 14, 12 & 12 now and I wish I could stop time because they grow up too fast!

  • Paige Cowart February 23, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    None to ONE!!! And most of my "whys" are the same as your with the exception Greer was a great baby! God blessed us with her after many years of struggling with infertility. Years spent dreaming & hoping, but reality is they are babies…cry, nurse, poop…and we loose precious sleep.

    I would love to have a #2, but can't get the hubby on board for it & at 37 time's a ticking?

    I thank God for blessing me with the joys of motherhood even though there are many days I am strictly running on lots of JESUS & chocolate?

  • Full Time Wife Life February 23, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    Zero to one was a total shocker, I barely remember any of it, such a daze. Two to three, like you said, was my "okay, maybe two was my number" haha!

  • Mama Dean February 23, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    Zero to 2 tested us a ton, but when the cloud lifted and it got better we decided to enlarge the family. 2 to 3, and 3 to 4 seemed incredibly easy by comparison.

  • Scavenger Hunt Blog February 23, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Mine was 2. life wasn't much harder with 2 kids he was hard. We still went to activities and went out and about. He was in the NICU for 9 days and when he came home all he wanted to do was eat and cry for 4 months. Luckily he was a GREAT sleeper. But when he was awake he wanted to eat or he was crying…we gave him the nickname Cryin Ryan.

  • Ranisa February 23, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    Three. We have five but having that third was so hard. I have two hands to get kids into the store but how do you hold three hands-when they are all under 4? Or two hands and an infant carrier. She was a grumpy-Gus too.

  • Hilary Boozer February 23, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    Love this post! Mine was mine #2 until I had #3, lol

  • Natasha February 23, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    Two was definitely harder. As many people have stated, our number two was a crier and I was so overwhelmed about how I was going to handle two kids, one of whom felt extremely needy.

    I'm sensing from the comments that whichever of your kids cried the most was the harder one to deal with. I think if our first had cried as frequently as our second one did then number one would have been the harder transition.

  • Amber Lauwers February 23, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Ours was our first! He was always up in the night, had colic for a few months, never napped longer than that "45 minute cat nap". I remember my husband and I looking at each other and honestly asking, "we did this on purpose?!" Lol It was all we knew though and looking back I would do it all again for our sweet boy. (I'm probably able to say that because his sister came along and was a sleeping angel). ?

  • Valerie Hutton February 23, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    For sure…our number is 1 as well. I'll never forget talking to my pediatrician about my son and why was he crying from 5 in the evening til midnight? His response was "Well, all babies are a little fussy sometimes." Seriously, I wanted to choke him (although we loved our pediatrician). Our first did not sleep through the night until he was 2! Then God blessed us with twins and they were a piece of cake–really–compared to number 1.

  • The Lewis Family February 23, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    I have 4 kids and #3 almost put us both in the grave. Hard hard hard! My oldest started kinder, I became a stay at home mom, and the baby NEVER SLEPT. Ever. My first two were great sleepers and I thought the third would be the same. Plus he's a super intense personality and constantly was destroying things. Ha!

  • Susan Walker February 23, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    Four did it for me – My husband and I were late getting started on our family and we wanted a big family so when my 4th was born a 1 year old, a 2 1/4 year old and a 3 1/2 year old awaited his arrival at home. All mine arrived via C-section – physically I was DONE! I remember a friend took me out for lunch when he was 3 months old to encourage me. She said that once I hit 3 years old life would be wonderful. I knew she meant well, her baby had just hit 3 and she was experiencing that difference. But I couldnt' see my way through 3 months, much less 3 years. But then one day it happened. We loaded the car and headed to Shoneys for 'kids eat free night' and I didn't carry a sippy cup, a bib or a kids spoon. I actually carried my purse instead of a diaper bag. Life had become wonderful. That baby is now 25 – siblings 26, 27 & 28 and we have two grandchildren – all walking with the Lord, life IS wonderful. But as I type this, tears are streaming down my face – wishing I had those days back!

  • Laura February 23, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    Oh my goodness, our number was TWO. Our first has Down syndrome and while that was shocking at first, she was such a perfect sleeper! Her attitude was pretty great, too πŸ™‚ Our second, wow. She had colic for at least 18 months–the height of it being 14 hours a day of pure scream. I wish I was exaggerating. Oh, and they're 15 months apart and I didn't have a walking kid until a year after having the second! So, I carried everyone and #2 screamed everywhere we went. I never slept! I've been convinced something was seriously wrong with her since day one–something hurt, somewhere, but we couldn't figure it out. She's 3 1/2 now and was just diagnosed with Lyme disease. Her blood results were really strange, they think she was created with it in her blood because it was in mine. SO this whole time, if she had been treated for Lyme disease, she may have been a happy infant. Mamas are usually right πŸ˜‰ I'm thankful she's grown into a very bright, sassy, and even sometimes sweet, three year old.

  • Jill Mayo-Singh February 23, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    Love this post Shay! I love your blog πŸ™‚ I would have to say for me, numbers 3 and 4 were the toughest. My 3 and 4 are twin girls and boy was it harder then I ever thought especially the first 6 months. The nights were worse and it was like the movie nightmare on elm street where I was afraid to go to bed because I knew what was coming at night lol. In a weird way I actually miss the craziness…I miss it but I'm happy where we are now! I had baby number 5 six months ago and it's a hectic life just like for all parents but I wouldn't trade it in for anything. God bless you and your beautiful family Shay!

  • Kelly Horan February 23, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Mine was also #1. I am wondering if Kensington is still your harder one. my first child just turned 4 and she is still hard. I heard once they turn 5 they become a bit easier. My 4 year old cries more than my 16 month old.

  • farmhouse mama February 23, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    I agree! One! I had a crier too. He cried and was sick until he turned two and we had his tonsils out. Overnight he was a different child after his surgery and now he's the best easiest teenager. On my way to the hospital to have boy number two, I cried. I was terrified to do it again. It was a BREEZE. The labor, delivery, recovery, baby… breeeze! Then boy number three came and he was super easy too. Then baby boy 4 came (10 1/2 lbs) and my recovery was slower but he was easy too. He had no choice with three older brothers. What I'd do to go back and snuggle all my boys again…. even the screamer. It seems like an eternity when you're living through the rough times but it goes by like a flash.

  • Adriane Emig February 23, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    You are right – reading these comments make me realize I'm not alone AND that things can always get even a little more crazy πŸ™‚ I currently just have one and that transition has been a little tiring, but I'm biting my tongue because I imagine 2 or 3 could be way worse haha. I love all of your posts, Shay, but this one was especially wonderful to read. Just reading about the struggles, but still sensing so much joy, makes my heart really happy. Thanks for sharing everyone!

  • Jessica February 23, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    For me, both number 1 and number 2 were challenging for very different reasons. With my first, it was just tough trying to establish a routine that worked for us, but he was an easy kiddo. With my second, we already had an established routine, but he had colic and acid reflux among other things along the way. I'm pretty confident I don't need to find out what #3 would be like. πŸ™‚

  • Crazy Life Mama February 23, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    Mine was #3. I had twins first, and everyone always thinks twins would be so hard, but mine were so easy – happy and good sleepers, sleeping through the night at 4 months and staying on schedule. Enter child #3. Wowzers. She kicked my tail. Didn't sleep through the night until after year, I don't think. Didn't believe in good naps – would wake up crying after about 40 minutes. Add to that, the twins were 2 1/2 when my third was born and they were getting more difficult. Ha. My kids are now 9 and 6 1/2, and they take turns being difficult now. =)

  • Aubrey February 23, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    Numero dos. Zero to one was easy and we felt like champs. Then we experienced the overnight transition from one to two and felt like CHUMPS. Two to three was a walk in the park.

    So maybe two was one child too many and we just straight up powered through to three. I was told by a FB quiz that I should only have one child, but clearly I don't take orders from FB. YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, FACEBOOK.

    Maybe after that you've pushed past your max that's when it gets easy?? Just thinking out loud here, but I want more babies. GIVE ME ALL THE BABIES. Cause it's easy now.

  • Heather February 23, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    I don't have kids yet, but I am positive my number will be 1…I can imagine that is the biggest shock to the system. I am so used to having my "me" time and being my number one priority being myself πŸ˜‰ Thanks for sharing!

  • pattisue82 February 23, 2016 at 3:40 pm

    #2 for sure.Going from one to two has been the most challenging for me. And going from 5 years old that can do some things for himself to a crying newborn was a struggle!

  • Melissa Sexton February 23, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Baby number 2. So much so that we stopped after him (we had wanted 4). My first baby girl was so sweet and content, just happy. But my baby boy……is a ginger:) Some may think his hair color was a fluke, but I swear, he hasn't stopped moving since conception. He even kicked me back in the womb! I would push his foot and he would kick back at me! He has gorgeous copper hair, gray eyes, dimples and an adorable cleft chin. And God made him look that way on purpose. God gave me Ian so I would never be bored again:)

  • Unknown February 23, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    We just had number one. She is five months old and she is SO EASY. Now my husband always jokes about second guessing having another because there is no way that we can get this lucky again.

  • Chelsa February 23, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    We went from 2 to 4 bc we added our two girls through adoption. It was chaotic! They were 5 and 2 at the time and our boys were 8 and 3. They were little humans who already had personalities of their own and bad habits etc. it was rough!

  • Bethany February 23, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    So, i've only had one (so far), but he was pretty much exactly what you described with K. He cried for the first two months of his life. He was hard. My sweet husband would buckle him in the carseat and drive around for 3 hours a night, so i could get some sleep. From 6pm to midnight, if the crying started, it didn't stop. It was sooo hard. That being said, we love him more than anything and it was such a brief period of time. My husband is nervous about doing this again with a second child. I've been trying to encourage him by saying that sooooo many people have said that the second is way easier. However, i know that's not always the case. Thanks for this post, just what i/we needed. XO

  • Kristin Munson February 23, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    Mine was also #1. We were WAY too worried about everything- how much light should be in her room, how to prop up the bed so she slept better and didn't have reflux, how many baths a week, how much and often to feed her and the list went on and on. It really threw my husband and I for a loop and was certainly a MAJOR adjustment! We were not relaxed parents by any means!

  • Kelly February 23, 2016 at 4:05 pm

    It wasn't the transition from none to one or one to two. It was that our first child was born on a 4 hour schedule, she slept through the night at 3 weeks old. Our second child wanted to nurse all.the.time and didn't sleep through the night until he was 3 years old (yes, that says YEARS!) When I finally got him on a 3 hour schedule, it was every 3 hours around the clock like clockwork. He absolutely hated being away from home, he wouldn't cry but he wanted to be held. I was exhausted the first year of his life. We found out when he was 3 that he had too much fluid on his ears making it hard to hear so now we know why loud places were awful for him. He was used to everything being very quiet and places like restaurants were overwhelming. We say if ALL babies were like our first born, people would have 6! Our second reminded us that all babies are individual. We knew instantly our kids were going to be like night and day. At 9 and 12, that still holds true, our kids couldn't be more different, they don't even resemble. She looks like me and he looks like Dad. πŸ™‚

  • Jess -Little Bits of Joy Blog February 23, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    Going from none to one killed me too, for the exact same reasons. I work full time, so sitting at home during the day… I was restless. and kept trying to put Austin down to "do things about the house" and he'd cry. And cry a lot in public. And didn't nurse well so I was scared to take him out, because he'd get hungry and I couldn't calm him down. It was very hard! So many things you "know" will happen when you have a baby… sleepless nights, crying, etc.. but actually living those things is a whole different story.

  • Sarah E @ theteacherswife.com February 23, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    What a fun topic! I've thought about this one and it's a hard one to answer because there have been challenges with adding each of our 3 – I might have to say #1 too only because I realized how selfish I was with my time and personal space and it was such a paradigm shift…ha! But adding #3 has kicked our tail too because we are outnumbered now. I'm so thankful for all my babies (even the ones in heaven)!

  • Nicole Cochrane February 23, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    I loved this post so much. Thanks for sharing!

    I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. Our number was one as well. One tough cookie… She is five now and still miss independent and testy most times, but like you and others have said, time passes so quickly and I'd love nothing more than to go back and visit those days πŸ™‚

    Have a wonderful day!

  • bythebrookdesigns February 23, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    My number is 3. My first 2 were pretty easy. They are grown now and both are fantastic Christian young adults. 2.5 yrs ago we adopted a 12 yr old from cps. She's now 15. The first 2 yrs were horrible, I had such a struggle trying to even like her. She had so much rage and bitterness. (Understandably). I was her favorite target. I dreaded going home. Sometimes I would stay in my car in the garage and just sob because I did not want to be at home with her. There were time when my hubby traveled that I would just stay in my room with the door locked. She was never physically violent but so, so, so verbally abusive and mean. We both spent plenty of time in therapy and then one day she loved us. Everything was great and we loved her. It's been months now and she has been a joy. There are still issues and concerns but it's good. My only sadness is that we had always planned on adoptin 2 kids, but I can't do this again unless the Lord changes my heart. Hardest thing I've ever done.

  • Eryn Morel February 23, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    No doubt 1-2, but really because of no sleep, bad reflux, and 17 months difference between 1 and 2. Number 3 is 3 months old and we are rocking and rolling. Experience is the best teacher!

  • Laci Murray February 23, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Number TWO about did me in. She still does me in. She is the best birth control!! I love her with my entire being BUT she never slept, had colic, cried for HOURS and HOURS. She is 7 now and sleeps great but SASSY!! Again, I love her dearly but my first child was too easy and still is.

  • Leigh February 23, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    I love this topic! For me, number 1 was definitely the hardest. He cried a lot, he had a lot of ear infections, he had eczema, he developed food allergies really early on because of my breast milk, he wouldn't latch so after months of trying, I decided pumped for a year since he had a dairy and soy allergy and couldn't have nuts (and he still can't have nuts or dairy). He hated being in his infant seat. He didn't like going to daycare and I didn't like leaving him at daycare but being home wasn't an option. It was just plain hard. My second baby, easy peasy! Lol

  • Leigh (Balancing By Faith) February 23, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    One was so exhausting and that transition was SO hard. But our 2nd child hated to sleep and cried A LOT, so he was hardest for sure!!

  • April Bryan February 23, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    My number was 2. I wanted 4, we ended up having 3. Transitioning from 1-2 was not the hard part. 2-3 kids was! My number 2 was the crier and the stubborn child which made me not want anymore, but who would of thought when my number 2 was 4 months I was pregnant with number 3. I would have to agree after 3 you are already out numbered so more doesn't bother you. Becoming outnumbered is a game changer.

  • roxanne February 23, 2016 at 5:52 pm

    My first was an absolute dream baby, so my numbers are #2 & #3 for different reasons. #2 had chronic ear infections so he was super sick and hardly slept his entire 1st year, then number 3 arrived only 11 months after #2 and she totally rocked our world. She slept through the night from 6 weeks old but she was a colic baby and cried every day from 3pm to 7pm. She was super sassy and miss independent from the start and a major daredevil which added lots of gray hairs. They are now 19, 16 & 15 and #3 still continues to push my buttons and is still rocking my world.

  • Annie Chags February 23, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    Our number is 0. Just thought I'd put it out there as there aren't many like us. We decided a couple of years after we got married that we wouldn't have children. We get to love on children in our family and our friends children which bring us much happiness. We also have 2 doggie daughters who are our life. So kids with 2 legs, our number is 2. Enjoy your blog & great topic!

  • Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld February 23, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    I'm with you… my number was one as well! However, I suffered from nerve damage during the birth and couldn't walk for two months afterward, so our world was rocked in way more ways than just having a baby. I'm telling you, trying to care for a newborn when you can't walk is darn near impossible! I was so thankful to have an amazing hands-on hubby who did more work than I did during those first few weeks. I don't know what I would have done without him. Needless to say, going from one to two was pretty easy for us since I could walk after I had my second. :o)

  • Amber February 23, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    My number was also 1 – he cried until he was 9. Born with a bad attitude and an extremely strong will exhausted my soul. It was "sticker shock" after wanting this baby for so long…. πŸ™‚
    My number 2 was easy peasy and a great addition. They are 13 & 15 now and great friends. And my #1 has been THE best teenager in history – seriously, I think he got his terrible teens out by the time he was 9.

  • Amber February 23, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    I have been where you are and the best advice I received (which really irritated me at the time but was OH SO TRUE) is this too shall pass…. and before you know it he'll be 15.
    Be consistent with discipline, show him lots of love, and stay strong. This season will be over before you know it.

  • Erin February 23, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    Zero to one for us, too! We now have 4. πŸ™‚

  • Courtney February 23, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Totally 1! Ours are 17 months apart, so the second one was a complete blur, but truly figuring the whole parenthood thing out was crazy for us. And like you said, lack of sleep aint no joke. I laugh at other new moms that say "I can't manage to get my teeth brushed" while out on maternity leave with the first. THAT WAS ME! Then I had a second and I was the can't sit down and have to accomplish everything while the second one is at preschool while I can mom πŸ™‚ Yes, that one baby can throw you for a loop, but remember, it's only temporary. And it will and does get better!

  • Hilary February 23, 2016 at 8:08 pm

    Defiantly a ONE! I wish I would have enjoyed it more. So thankful TWO made everything easier.

  • Jessica February 23, 2016 at 9:15 pm

    I had the hardest time with baby #1. Transitioning to motherhood rocked my world, mostly because I had terrible postpartum depression. Thankfully it didn't happen with baby #2. To anyone suffering from depression- please know, there IS hope and there IS help!!

  • Tina Lazaroff February 23, 2016 at 11:25 pm

    My husband and I found our 2nd daughter to be the hardest by far (we have three children), and reading the above comments, it doesn't seem like our experience was that unique and it wasn't really about birth order or the number of children we had …she was a light sleeper (up every three hours to feed until 12 months), screamed A LOT -colicky for three hours every night during months 3-6, had GERD, was carsick (threw up every time we got in the car). The number of times my husband undid the car seat to wash it, while I cleaned her up is mindboggling. She was just physically exhausting, and I have to say since my oldest was super easy -slept through the night at 5 weeks (!), I assumed she would be too. In some ways, it was all about my expectations, but it was also about how tired I was. She is ten now and a joy. In my family the hard babies turn out to be the easiest later πŸ˜‰

  • Jeanie February 23, 2016 at 11:59 pm

    My kids are so old now that all I can think of is -1. I was so sick when pregnant with both of them that it wasn't even funny.

  • vanillafrog February 24, 2016 at 12:38 am

    Going from 0 to 1 was the hardest for us…but we only have 1, and we've decided we are a one and done family!

  • Suz Williams February 24, 2016 at 12:43 am

    Wow! Amazing therapy reading your post today and ALL the comments. It's sometimes hard to not feel alone in all of this when you have gorgeous sleeping babies all around you…except yours. My first kicked my butt too, still is at age 10. It's sometimes hard to look back on him as a baby as he was teaching me life lesson after lesson. I adore him and his two brothers though. Sometimes one is my number, but the biggest transition was 2-3…bigger car, only two hands to cross the road. I remember breastfeeding my third one day and having to separate a 'rumble' on the floor between the older two boys with my foot. I cried and thought that parenting could not get any lower. I can laugh about it now πŸ™‚

  • Stayseated February 24, 2016 at 1:12 am

    It is so crazy reading all of these comments. I have an (almost) 4 month-old and found out yesterday that I'm pregnant again! Oh my gosh, the transition to babyhood was hard for us, and our sweet little guy is just now sleeping well (almost through the night!), playing, "talking," and so much fun. And now (if all goes well), I'll have a set of Irish twins! Oh Lord Jesus, please help us! P.S. All that is to say I *hope* I look back and say our number was ONE. πŸ˜‰

  • Elizabeth Marshall February 24, 2016 at 1:20 am

    We had one and two years later, twins! From one to three was rough. And we are pretty sure we are DONE πŸ™‚

  • Erin Llaneza February 24, 2016 at 2:04 am

    From 1 to 3! We adopted our first son and he was the perfect angel, slept through the night at 8 weeks, smiled early, and was generally easy. 13 months later I had twin boys, "Irish Triplets". They were in the Nicu, had reflux, and didn't sleep through the night till 18 months. I don't remember much from their first 2 years of life. They are now 6 and 7 and the best of friends. It was a rough ride but so worth it!

  • Suzanne Hines February 24, 2016 at 2:20 am

    Ha! This might be my favorite post that you have ever written!
    I'm not sure what my number is yet…
    Zero to One was SO HARD, for most of the reasons that you listed. First of all, I didn't understand how hard being a mother actually is and staying home all day just about killed me (Ohio, in the winter, extrovert). She was colicky and didn't sleep through the night until 8 months old. Before having her, I thought I would just pop "back to normal" as fast as everyone else on social media seemed to do….but that was not he case. 18 months later and I have learned that I don't go back to normal, but I adjust to a new normal.

    One week after my daughter's first birthday, we got our first foster placement- a 3 week old baby girl. She is less than 13 months apart and has been in our family for six months now. One to Two with five days notice and a substance addicted newborn was STILL easier than my transition from zero to one!!! The baby itself was not easier, but I didn't feel like I was personally sacrificing as much or adjusting to as much. I was already a stay at home Mom and was better prepared for dealing with it all. We just found out I'm pregnant with our next baby (technically baby #2, but it sure feels like #3 since I've had a foster baby for six months!), and we shall see how that goes!

    Loved reading this and all the responses! So interesting!

    Suzanne Hines
    http://www.suzannehines.org

  • 4sweetboys1princess February 24, 2016 at 2:23 am

    I have 5, but the hardest was 2 to 3. This may be because #3 was a surprise and born 17 months after number 2. I think having a newborn and a toddler kicked our butts.

  • Minda Kincaid February 24, 2016 at 2:50 am

    I read your post earlier today and then later was in the car and Darius Rucker's song, "It won't be like this for long" came on the radio and reminded me so much of this post. I know you've mentioned you're not a country fan so I don't know if you've heard it, but if not you should check it out because it's very fitting. (:

  • Megan February 24, 2016 at 5:04 am

    Wow Love love love this post! It may be my favorite you've ever written! Going from zero to 1 was SHOCKING! Ha! but once I got used to the change and lack of sleep it was good. Adding another wasn't bad. I think the stage we are in right now is the worst so far. 3 is not a becoming age on my oldest!! EEKKK!! Strong willed kids go on to do great things? Right?! That's what I keep telling myself.

  • Lisa February 24, 2016 at 5:50 am

    Going from 2 to 3 was our hardest number; we joked that we went from man to man defense to zone coverage!

  • Happylife40 February 24, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    I want to mention something, just in case it could even help one mom out there. A good friend of mine was losing her mind with her first baby, who cried for months and months. Every moment she was awake she would cry. My friend was literally getting depressed and very down on herself, because she felt she wasn't a good mom, since she couldn't even soothe her baby. Then, many pediatricians and specialists later, one of them gave her a tip to try…he told her to buy this special baby pillow that will swaddle the baby extra tight safely. Like magic, her baby stopped crying completely. And it never returned. She was about to buy stock in the company that makes this pillow, that's how relieved she was. The pillow is actually made for this type of problem. I wish I knew off-hand what the brand is and what it is called specifically, but I will ask her. Also, she got pregnant unplanned while she was still trying to figure out how to help her baby, and was so scared that soon she would have two babies who would cry all day and all night. She then found that pillow, and fortunately, her second baby is not a crier at all. But even if he was, she would have the pillow. It may be worth it for other moms, about to pull their hair out, to look into this pillow.

  • Marshall Madness February 24, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    We were also a ONE! Oh my goodness. Our first little girl wasn't really a bad baby, I just didn't adjust to the profound responsibility and lack of personal time well. I know it sounds ridiculous now- shouldn't I have known!? But somehow I had this magical view of how it was going to be. And it wasn't. My husband worked- a lot- so I was on my own most nights. Plus I was dealing with major post partum and anxiety. I've never had that problem before, so dealing with all that PLUS a new little life that relied on me was OVERWHELMING. Luckily 3 years later when we went from one to two- I was more prepared and things went much better. Phew!

  • Mary C. February 24, 2016 at 4:32 pm

    I have 6!! Numbers 1 & 2 were easy but then I had twins and 4 kids 4 and under! That was CRAZY! I remember feeling content with 4 but the Lord had other plans for me and I was surprised with 2 more! So I have 6 between the ages of 13 and 4 now. I remember when the twins came home from the hospital they had to eat every 3 hours and from the time I started feeding them, burped them, changed their diapers, and their clothes because one or both would spit up, pumped for the next round, washed out the bottles, and was ready for the next round I had 30 minutes until it started again!!! 24 hours, round the clock and a 4 and 2 year old to take care of! I felt like superwoman after that and numbers 5 & 6 were a piece of cake!

  • Vesti February 24, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    One. Definitely one. He rocked our world. Not only was he born with multiple physical birth defects requiring surgery less than one day after he was born, once he was home from the NICU, he had numerous therapy and doctor appointments every single week. (That is still going on 6 years later.) On top of everything, all he did was cry for 8 looooong months. It was miserable, and had I not worked with other people's kids for so long, he might have been an only child! Thankful #2 was a much easier baby!

  • czuck February 25, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    #3 Hands down, our first 2 are 12mo apart and it was such a breeze, not prefect but easier then #3. #3 was born when our other 2 were 2.5 and 3.5 and good lordy I feel like I still live in a blur, and he's 5 πŸ™‚

  • Deena February 26, 2016 at 2:32 am

    We have two grown up sons but I can still remember what it was like. For us it was 1. He had croup and we could never get him settled down for a couple of hours every evening. He was also harder to get settled down at night. What made it worse was that my husband had to go to Geneva, Switzerland for a 6 week trade fair when our son was 6 weeks old. I flew with our baby at the end but they didn't have infant car seats to rent so had to put him in a front facing large one. He screamed every minute he was in it, all the way to Interlaken and back. Lets just say it wasn't a relaxing vacation.

    Our 2nd was so much easier plus we were more confident as parents. He also had croup but we just jiggled him while he was crying and went about our business. Unlike our oldest, we didn't jump the minute he whimpered and he was such an easy baby. Later they switched off being harder at times but usually not at the same time thankfully.

  • Kathy Stevens February 26, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    My husband and I always talk about this. Having our first was life changing and hard in ways we could have never imagined. But having our second was sooooo hard. Thankfully, all my babies were pretty good so nothing about them made it harder. I think learning to multi-task and divide my thoughts/worries while sleep deprived was hard. My third was the easiest for sure!

  • Queen In Between February 26, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    Hmm…this really, really made me think. My first I was 21, single and in college..second I was married but separated and finishing up my last semester in college..I think I was just too young and had too many other things going on in my heart and mind to even realize how hard it was. I would have to say having #4 at 36 with a very involved 15 & 12 year old and a 3 1/2 year old was the hardest for me. She cried like Kensington..all..the…time and we were running to soccer and baseball and homecoming. It was so crazy!

    Have a great weekend!

    Shelly
    http://queeninbetween.blogspot.com/

  • Michelle N. February 26, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    Mine was from 1 to 2. I knew having one would turn us upside down but thought that adding a second would be pretty easy. My first born was 27 months old, we were up to our eyeballs in parenting so whatever, we got this. Wrong. I had no idea how hard it would be to feel torn between my two children!!

  • Catherine Boozer February 26, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    This sounds weird but I have two "hardests." One was REALLY hard for us, also. But the fourth was also hard in a different way. One was hard because of all the changes all at one time, and the hormones, and the schedules, and everything else. Fourth was hard because my other three were 8, 6, and 3, and I worked full time, and I just felt like I couldn't be there for anyone as much as I was needed. I was ready for the next baby each time the one I had was 1. When my fourth turned 1 I was giving away any and all baby related items we no longer needed/used. No yearning for another. I am still overwhelmed, but I wouldn't change it for anything!

  • Taylor and Robin February 29, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    Loved this topic so much I wrote a post about it too. Ours was definitely going to 3!!

  • The girls February 29, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    Mine is weird. Number one was hardest, but only after I had number 2. We struggled with secondary infertility for four years, and we FINALLY had our miracle baby boy when our daughter was 5. He wasn't hard by any means, but SHE made it hard – the 5-year-old. She HATES him, and always had. So the difficulty is because of #1. Imagine our surprise when we found out we have a bonus baby on the way, naturally. It's gonna suck for her.

  • Bianca July 20, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    I couldn’t agree more with this post! Exactly the same scenario with our 1st. She never stopped crying for 5 1/2 months!