Happy Wednesday, friends!
It’s time for this month’s LET’S LOOK!
This month’s topic was selected by YOU LADIES and in my little old opinion, it’s kind of heavy. I thought I’d temper the heavy with a second post today on WALLPAPER 🙂 .
If you don’t know what LET’S LOOK is, once a month, Erika and I do a little link up where we “look” at different aspects of our lives (and then if you blog, you share and link up too!). We have been doing this little linky party for years now, and it’s always one of my favorite posts each month because most of the topics are YOUR suggestions!
Alrighty, just as a reminder, here’s what we “looked at” in 2026 (all your suggestions!)…
In January, we looked at THINGS WE OUTSOURCE WITHOUT REGRET.
In February, we looked at WAYS WE’VE TURNED INTO OUR PARENTS.
In March, we looked at FAVORITE FAMILY VACATIONS.
This month, I am sharing a look at the HARDEST THINGS WE’VE EVER DONE.
See?
A little heavy.
But…you asked and so Erika and I are sharing.
Here’s the deal about “hard things”…they’re all relative and subjective. I sat here a minute and jotted down the first few that came to my mind that were appropriate for sharing with the internet. Some hard things involve other people and should stay private…other hard things can be shared. And certainly some “hard things” seem really easy as some of you have survived HARD THINGS.
I picked nine random things to share today…they aren’t necessarily my hardest and considering no one leaves this Earth unscathed, I’m certain many more will come my way…but I don’t mind sharing these because I hope what you see more than anything is that even in our “hard things” we’re not alone. God is right there with us.
Here are 9 OF THE HARDEST THINGS I’VE EVER DONE…
#1: MOVE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY
If you’re familiar with my family on the internet then you’re familiar with the fact that we are an extremely close bunch of codependent humans. I didn’t move away and go to college (something I regret) but instead, I went to a university near home and lived on campus a year and then right back with my parents for the next two years. I was hell-bent on never living far away from my family. I assumed I would probably grow up and move into a house on their street. Then I met this super cute boy from Kansas State and before I knew it, I was married with a one way ticket to Detroit, Michigan. I absolutely LOVED our time in Detroit. I wish we could have done it longer because it was truly one of the best little chapters in my life…but it was hard. I missed my family. I was sad that on my birthday and Thanksgiving and Christmas, they were all together while I was away. I called my mom in tears many times because I just missed them. But you know what? God showed up BIG (yet again!) and showed me all of the many blessings that can come from living somewhere outside of “home”.
#2: RUN LONG DISTANCES
I got it in my head that I was going to run a marathon and ended up running two in 2006. I had always been a runner, but I had never run long distances. I distinctly remember in both marathons reaching a point around mile 20 when I started thinking things like “If I trip and break my leg right now, that will give me a solid reason to quit.”. Bahahaha! The mental part was much harder for me than the physical part. My body could run but my brain kept trying to find ways to make me quit.
#3: GET PREGNANT
As you may or may not know, this blog was born out of a dark time in my life when I was trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. I had a job I didn’t like, I had a few friends but not a “community” in my new hometown of McKinney, I was hopped up on hormones, super unhappy and then had a miscarriage. The summer of 2007 was probably my darkest time. I was just really really sad. Getting pregnant…and staying pregnant…consumed my thoughts each and every day. It was physically hard for me to get pregnant, but it was even harder for me to see the light while I was trying to get pregnant. It was just hard.
Ironically or unfortunately or whatever word you want to use here…
#4: BEING PREGNANT
…being pregnant was really hard for me too. I was certainly GRATEFUL that I was pregnant, but my body did not like actually being pregnant. It’s hard to complain about something you prayed for years to become, but the reality was that I was a miserable pregnant person. I’ve been pregnant three times and all three times physically and mentally beat me down. I was just so sick. I threw up every single day including the days Kensington and Smith were born. My body just never enjoyed it. BUT PRAISE THE LORD THAT IT DIDN’T. I don’t know what would have happened and how God would have gotten my attention after Smith had I had “fine” pregnancies. I needed Smith to be my last biological kiddo because I needed to adopt kids #3 and #4. We took permanent measures right after Smith was born to make sure I never got pregnant again…I thought we were doing that because I just couldn’t be pregnant again, but I am positive that God had us do it because he needed to close one door in order to open another BEAUTIFUL door called adoption.
#5: POTTY TRAIN
It was the worst. THE WORST. Ashby and Mades were easy but those two faces you see in the photo above? They were TERRIBLE. It about broke me. I cried more tears, begged and pleaded with the Lord (and two small children) and questioned my entire sanity trying to get these two to potty train. FOR THE LOVE IT WAS HARD. My mom kept telling me that eventually they would get it, but then even she moved into the camp of “You might have two potty training failures on your hands”. Bahaha! It was just HARD. Give me teens all day long…but please don’t hand me kids who are in the throes of potty training.
#6: CHANGE CHURCHES
Andrew and I went to the same church for about 17 years and several times during those years, we felt God calling us to go and grow somewhere else. But Andrew and Shay Shull are stubborn and loyal people, so we stayed put. When we finally realized we absolutely could not stay any more, we left…with four kids in tow who loved their church. It was hard. Changing was easy for us as adults, but it was hard for our kiddos. Fast forward four years later, and the Shull six are THRIVING where they are planted now. Growing and changing hurts and is hard, but God. But God. He has this way of planting you and uprooting you and replanting you and watering you and…now, I can’t believe we didn’t leave so much earlier.
#7: KEEP MY TRAVEL AGENCY ALIVE THROUGH COVID
I could have added to this list “being a small business owner” as one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because…it’s sometimes hard, y’all. It’s wonderful and amazing, and I thank the Lord every day that I get to own this travel agency, but it’s hard. That being said, one of the hardest things I’ve personally ever done was keep this agency afloat during COVID. Looking back, I still don’t know how I did it (God!), but goodness, I’m so very proud of myself. Of course, I loved my job and my clients and the work I was doing each day, but the main reason I worked so hard to keep it alive was because I didn’t want to have to let anyone on my team go. I love my team. These ladies left other careers to work with me. They rely on me for their income, benefits, flexibility to stay home with their kids…I just could not let them down. I am just so proud of all of us here for working so hard to keep all of our jobs. We truly love what we do, and I’m so thankful we came out of it all together…we worked HARD as a team.
#8: LOSE A BEST FRIEND TO CANCER
Hard. It was so hard. I prayed so many times for the Lord to change the situation, but that’s not what happened. Manda’s legacy lives on and the impact she had on so many is alive and well today, but goodness, that was beyond HARD.
#9: ADOPT
I’m not going to post a photo, but I have so so many. We tried to adopt a third time for so many years…we were so close. We were so so close…but…
I still don’t quite understand why the Lord wouldn’t allow us to complete that third adoption…but I’ve come to peace with the fact that I don’t have to know on this side of Heaven. Maybe one day, it will all make sense. Maybe that day will come on this side of Heaven or maybe, I’ll have to wait to the other. Either way, like the song says “it is well with my soul”. I might not understand, but it is well with my soul…and I’m thankful for peace even in the hard.
And those are 9 of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Next time on Let’s Look, we are going to look at…
…MAKING COUPLE FRIENDS 🙂 .
I am very excited about THAT post!
If you need some “lighter” content today, don’t forget, I’m also chatting all things WALLPAPER too!
Don’t forget, if you blogged along with us today, please make sure you link up below.
Have the best, best day, friends! Thank you for being here. xx
Elspeth Mizner says
Thank you for being so real and honest about the challenges of life. God is always with us!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Danielle says
Thank you for your vulnerability, Shay. My husband and I struggled with infertility for 9 years and we are now expecting our first child at the end of May. All of the disappointments and struggles have helped me learn to rely on God more and more in my life. While I wouldn’t have chosen this path, His ways are higher and better than mine, and He knows what experiences will help form us into the people He created us to be.
Mix and Match Mama says
Congratulations!! Please, please send me a pic of your precious baby once he/she arrives. God is so so good. So good.
Beth Knecht says
I loved reading your sentences about Smith having to be your last biological child in order to adopt the others. I sometimes wonder why God is allowing hard postpartum experiences in my own life and wonder if that’s to lead me to something else.
Thanks for giving hope and always pointing us back to him!
Paige E says
Tough post to marinate on and put into words. Thank you for sharing your heart. The theme I see here is But God, But God, But God. Even if… I will choose to believe in Him. Amen.
Kristen says
When you were on your 3rd adoption was it through China? Did you get so far that you saw a picture of the child? I am sorry it didn’t work out but like you said there was a reason it wasn’t in god’s plan.
Mix and Match Mama says
You know, we haven’t shared specifics on that adoption, but yes, we have many many photos and videos. It was a very hard season for the Shull family.
Jaime says
Would you ever consider doing a post about the story of your 3rd adoption that never panned out?
Mix and Match Mama says
Absolutely.
Jaime says
Is that a post you see your self doing soon? Or would it be down the line?
Mix and Match Mama says
Probably down the line. I don’t think my heart is there yet.
Sarah C says
This is something I’ve wondered too. We were in the adoption process with China when they ended international adoptions and it’s still something I grieve. I know God has a plan- we’re now foster and soon to be adoptive parents to a beautiful baby girl- but it’s still hard. And because of the unique circumstances it can be lonely grieving something that most people won’t understand. Totally get it if it’s too personal or hard to share but know you’re not alone in your grieving!
Mix and Match Mama says
I am so so sorry you’re grieving adoption circumstances too. Truly, I am so so heartbroken about this. xx
Patty says
Sarah, my daughter and her husband were in the same situation. They were expecting any day to be told it was time to travel, and then China closed the borders. Pictures, videos, etc had been shared and we were all so in love with this little guy. I wonder where he is now…if he’s wondering why the parents who wanted him changed their mind or if he’s happily with a family in China. So very hard.
Pam Zercher says
😞 So very sorry, Shay.
Beth Valenta says
Thanks for sharing these tought moments. We all have those things we carry and talking about them and having faith is the first step to resilience.
Katie Hahn says
Thank you for sharing! I know I have shared this before but you prayed for me in 2019 when I was also in the throes of infertility and a miscarriage. It was hard. Now I have two thriving daughters (ages 3 and 5) and often times when life is chaotic, I reflect on how badly I prayed for it all.
Mix and Match Mama says
It was such an honor to pray for you during that time, Katie. xx
Hammondzoo says
This post was perfect for my week. My husband moved out Feb 6 to a new to him townhouse and I am working on getting the our house ready for sale. I think I am moving out of state but I have not found a home (the ones I like- contract pending). I go through days where I’m moving along checking the boxes and then I have days like yesterday where I am in a panic attack because I feel like I’ll never get an empty house and I’ll never find a new house to move into. Do I stay, do I leave, do I rent, do I buy. Today, I’ll take a breath and have faith. 🙂
Mix and Match Mama says
Sending YOU so much love!
Lauren says
I relate to the pregnancy part so much. We tried for YEARS to get pregnant and went through multiple rounds of fertility treatment. Then when I finally got pregnant, I was the worst pregnant person! I was so sick and felt so miserable that I really disliked it. But I felt SO guilty for feeling that way for something I had prayed for so long. But my little blessing made it totally worth every minute of despair!
Pam D. says
This goes way back to the beginning of your blog, but didn’t you have cancer when you were in high school? I would love to hear about that and how you got through that.
Mix and Match Mama says
The doctors certainly thought I did for a minute…but thankfully, things changed. It’s still an anniversary my sweet dad recognizes every year.
Susan P Fitzpatrick says
I’ve had some very hard times in my life but I’m going to stick to a lighter comment here. My oldest child had to be potty trained by the start of preschool. We managed to get that accomplished within a week of it starting! He was just very late. My middle kid was pretty easy thankfully and then there was my third child. She had what came to be known as the “pee” shoes. 🤣 Everytime she wore these cute suede mary jane shoes she would have an accident. She had other shoes she wore but never had an accident. Put on the suede shoes and we were mopping up the floor. 😂 Yes, they went in the garbage!
Sarah M says
It’s funny how God works. My fiancé just sent me a video on this sort of topic and I wanted to share. Backstory- we have a lot on our plates at the moment (all good things!) and we constantly are saying “this is hard” “what should we do?” “how are we going to decide or make it through?”- planning our wedding, not living together so essentially doing long distance, buying a home (in a new to me town), renovating said home, selling my current home (in a different town than the other home 😂), figuring out jobs, etc etc.
The premise of the video is that there is no difference between hard or easy. It’s a mindset in which you find things familiar or unfamiliar and we need to train ourselves to step into the unfamiliar and see all that God is calling us to and providing for us. I just thought this was an amazing perspective and something I am going to work harder at understanding. Nothing at all against the topic of this post, because I do think that things like death and large change ARE HARD- but it’s the other things in life that we call “hard” but more are unfamiliar. Have a great day!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank YOU for sharing!!! xx
Gail says
I had no idea how awful divorce can be until both of our sons went through it. It was devastating for everyone involved and for sure God was walking right next to us the whole time. We asked friends to be on a prayer team for us and that was our saving grace as there were so many dark days. So many. If you are going through this, I pray that you are not alone and that God places people in your life to walk beside you and help to carry your burdens. My husband is a pastor and we had no idea of how difficult the ins and outs of this can be…..the lawyers, the finances, the emotional toll, and so many other things. Our sons have new lives now and I guess I just want to say thank you to our prayer partners for holding us up when we couldn’t do it ourselves. We have a much deeper empathy for others in this situation.
Thank you Shay for asking this difficult question and for letting us share so that others can know they are not the only ones.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you so much for sharing this with our group. I know others will be blessed by your openness on this topic too. xx
Peggy says
This post was everything I needed today. Thank you Shay ❤️
Dana says
I just wanted to comment and let you know how much I appreciate your vulnerability. You open yourself up to others and it means so much. We all can stand to feel less alone and more connected to each other. Thanks for sharing so openly- your post made my day today.
Mix and Match Mama says
Well goodness, thank you. Thank YOU for taking time out of your day to stop by. xx
Erika Slaughter says
The part about potty training MADE ME LAUGH!!! I don’t remember your kids being THAT terrible at that life skill?! I’m so very glad they caught on. 😉
Mix and Match Mama says
BECAUSE YOU ALSO HAD TWO TODDLERS THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN. Please hear me when I say this, YOURS WERE MUCH BETTER THAN MINE. You had gold medalists…I had complete failures. 😉
Ashley says
I know you make an effort to keep your blog update and happy, but this has been one of my favorite of your posts in a long time. Sharing “hard” and being vulnerable on your blog in general is what keeps me connected and feel like I understand the real you. Thanks for doing it !
Hollie says
Just chiming in to say I agree with another post above. I have been reading your blog for a really long time Shay and this is definitely one of my favorite posts. Thank you for sharing and always keeping it real.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you so much for being here. I am beyond blessed by it. xx
Victoria Lee Van Beek says
Sooo beautiful, each reflection . . . . blessings from our Lord and sometimes in disguise. You are a bonus in my daily life.
Christi Keener says
Thanks for being some vulnerable.
God is so good…ALL the time! I can resonate with some of what you shared though it’s different for each person.
But #8…so hard! But our friends are pain free and in the hands of Jesus.
Jinjer says
Or, like my dad’s favorite hymn says:
Refrain:
Farther along we’ll know all about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up, don’t worry, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.
Molly says
What an appropriate topic. I appreciate you sharing your heart. I feel like we may be in the hardest season after what has happened in my life recently. I pray one day Ill look back and be stronger for it.
Tara says
I’ve read your blog for a long time. I know you’ve talked about your lymphoma cancer diagnosis when you were a teenager. I assume that’s one of the hardest things you’ve gone through?
Mix and Match Mama says
My list was certainly not inclusive of every hard thing.
Lisa D says
My cancer was a hard thing. Losing my precious Dad to cancer was a harder thing. Somehow we get through it. I am thankful for praying friends.
Mix and Match Mama says
I wish I could give you a hug. Sending you so much love this morning. xx
AliJ. says
When I go through a hard time, I tend to look back and think it was not as bad as I thought it was. The things that have stuck with me is agreeing to send let my daughter go to boarding school at age 14 – she turned 14 on July 26 and two weeks later, we were dropping her off at boarding school. It was not a punishment but she wanted a different high school experience and it came down to this school and another one. She chose the boarding school. That year was one of my hardest for me as a Mom, and for my marriage with my husband. The next hardest thing was my brother passing away after a series of strokes. We lost my father years ago, very unexpectedly and it was part of the natural process to lose a parent, not a sibling. Once we put my brother in hospice, I had to make a decision if I wanted to be there when he passed. I never made that decision as he made it for me. I was glad I was there as he was surrounded by people who loved and supported him. This is senior year for our daughter and man, it has been hard! The whole college process, disappointments, telling us we are bad parents because we would not agree to pay for a school that cost $100K a year, just the nastiness – I cried so much this past school year and now she graduates in 51 days – and we are still waiting to learn where she will go to college. I know she will land where she is meant to land, and God meant for me to be there when my brother passed. We do not always know the outcome, or agree with it, but in the end, it does seem to work out.
Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability – I know it is not easy!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank YOU so much for sharing. xx
Karen says
I had thought the hardest thing in my life was losing my husband and being left to raise my two young teenaged sons…until a year ago when I lost my youngest son at age 27. Every day, every minute, I pray to find peace with it but I just can’t, I don’t know how to survive this.
Mix and Match Mama says
Karen, I am so sorry. I am just so sorry for your losses. So very sorry. Please email me if you ever think of anything I can do to help, to pray for…anything. I’m here for you. mixandmatchmama@yahoo.com
Katie says
Thank you for this post. The honesty and openness is appreciated. I, too lost a best friend to cancer last July. It is one of the hardest things I’ve walked through. And I found myself reading your blog posts about your Manda and they really did help. Thank you so very much for that then and now. xo
Mix and Match Mama says
I am just so very sorry for your loss, Katie. So very sorry.