I am really excited about today’s post!
Today, we’re going to begin the conversation about fostering to adopt.
Every time I post on adoption, I have many of you who comment and/or email me about domestic adoptions, fostering and/or fostering to adopt. Well, since I don’t know anything about that…I only know about Chinese adoptions, I always feel bad that I don’t have any insight for you because I know there are so many of you out there who are very interested in this…and I want you to learn more about it so that these precious children can find their forever homes too.
So…this leads me to one of my favorite people in the world…Meagan.
Meagan is one of my dearest friends and her family is currently fostering to adopt these precious girls right here…
We call the baby Sissy and the one year old Sister. And they’re absolutely adorable :).
A little background on sweet Meagan…she and her husband Tim have three bio kids, Holden (8), Fount (6) and Sadie (5), and felt called last year to foster to adopt. They would love nothing more than to add a child to their family permanently through adoption. After going through the rigorous process here in the US, their family was finally matched with a beautiful two month old baby girl on October 15. It was love at first site. Then, only a few days later, their social worker informed them that Sissy’s biological sister who was 12 months old (Yes! These girls are 9 months apart and full biological sisters! Sissy was premature which caused the very small age difference.) needed a home too…so, on Halloween, this precious family welcomed one more into their family. What was supposed to have been a family of six turned into a family of seven :).
Right now, Meagan and Tim are in the throes of the foster to adopt program. They’re three months in and they want nothing more than to keep these girls forever…but the reality is, they may or may not get to stay theirs forever. They’re in the trenches as we speak…and Meagan (because she is so incredibly sweet and has such a heart for fostering) said she’d be happy to answer your questions about her process and the foster to adopt program in general.
If you have questions about domestic adoptions, fostering, fostering to adopt, why she chose this path, what her mama heart is going through or anything else, please leave a comment below. Two weeks from now, Meagan is going to answer your questions here on my blog, and hopefully, shed some light on this process for many of you.
My heart is for adoption…domestic or international. I just want all kids to find their forever families. Adoption is hard. Adoption is painful. Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is amazing.
Ask Meagan your questions! She’ll be back on January 26 to answer them!
***Read Meagan’s Q&A here!***
And one last thing…
…Bacon & Spinach Quiche is on my foodie blog today! This is a yummy breakfast or supper!
See the recipe here.
xo
Erika Slaughter says
Aahhhh!!!! I love Meagan!! I think the only mama who could handle these changes so quickly is her-she's amazing! I can't wait to read the post on the 26th!
Kate Hofer says
My husband and I have recently become licensed foster parents with hopes of adoption and are awaiting the call for our first placement. What would you say is the best piece of advice you can give? How do you keep all of the "rules" straight? It seems like there are so many!
Wallups from Puyallup says
I would love to know how to get started. My husband and I have been "trying" for eight years and are starting to realize that we are not supposed to be bio parents but feel there is a bigger calling. I would love to know who to contact and how to start running with this process.
Jenna Miller says
Can you enter the foster to adopt program while currently pregnant, or is there a necessary wait time?
Chasing Pure Simplicity says
Jenna – your income and placements will dictate this. The answer is most likely… There are rules as to how many littles under a certain age you can have. This includes foster, adopted and bio. We received a placement when I was 8 months pregnant and already had a 20 month old!
I think the hardest part about talking about fostering and adopting is that each situation is so personal. Make good friends with your case workers so that you can find the right answers for you!
I felt like I was asking all the time, but they were always so willing to help!
Narci says
Praying for her and her sweet family!
kimm atwood says
Praying for them
Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} says
Meagan, you are a freaking rock star! And your entire family is amazing! I know that y'all are pouring blessings into those girls each day, and it's been such a privilege to watch your family follow God's call. Love you friend!
Chasing Pure Simplicity says
So thankful to you Shay for hosting this post and offering answers! And, thank you Megan for stepping up to do it!
We have four children aged 9, 7, 7, and 7. Three of my four were foster placements originally. It was a wild ride, but a wonderful ride.
Praying forever and stability over these two sweet girls
Kelly B. says
When fostering to adopt, do they place children with you who most likely need a forever home or is it simply luck of the draw? My husband and I are very interested in the process but can't imagine the heartbreak if the child would not end up staying in our home forever. Praying for your family and those 2 precious girls!
Jen says
I'm wondering this too…
Meagan @ The Clanahan Fam says
Oh, I can't wait to read this post! My question would be among the realm of cost. I don't expect her to get super specific but curious if there is a ballpark amount for foster to adopt? I would love to investigate adopting but the extraordinary cost of international adoption scares me and to be honest, is probably out of reach for us at this time.
Kelli @ A Deeper Joy says
Meagan, adopting domestically is A LOT cheaper than adopting internationally. I'll leave it to the other Meagan to answer specifically, but your state government actually helps you in the foster to adopt process. You get a reimbursement based on the child's level of care and a lot of the costs are covered even after that (medical, etc). All we've paid for so far is getting our fingerprints taken and our CPR license. You'd also have to pay for the fire and health inspections. I love that our own country tries to help out in all of these ways!
Brady Wilhelm says
We JUST finished licensing to be foster parents are hoping to adopt through the system. We went this route because it's practically free. We have several friends that have done this as well and didn't pay a dime–the child almost always gets state insurance (in KS anyways) until they're 18 (even after they're adopted) and some while you're in the process of fostering up to the adoption, you still get the assistance with daycare and food, etc. We've really enjoyed our experience so far and I love that there are programs in place for people who WANT to help but can't afford to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to adopt privately.
maureen says
I am a foster mother in KS too! I have adopted 6 children (4 from foster care and twins privately.) and I agree, it is a wonderful way to build your family! I just LOVE that God has made our family! The hard part is the children that did NOT stay with us, but we know that we made a Heartprint on them! (I have parented 36 children over the last 10 years!) Blessings!
Aubrey says
No questions here, just heartfelt admiration for Meagan and her family! I will be praying that they get to keep those girls forever!
Carla Light says
This is Meagan's "Aunt Carla!" I am beyond proud of my sweet niece and her precious family and thrilled that you are featuring them on your blog today. I have had the privilege of being one of Meagan's "prayer warriors" through all of this…and it brings me so much joy to see how God is working in their lives and the lives of Sissy and Sister. We are far away in D.C. serving at the Pentagon, and one of the things I've prayed for is that Tim and Meagan would have a strong support system there. I'm so thankful for you and all her sweet friends that have some alongside them and encouraged them. Blessings to you!
ClintandGina says
Beautiful story….Adoption is a beautiful thing regardless of the route you take. I love this quote, "They may not have my eyes, they may not have my smile, but they have all my heart."- author unknown
TwIndy Mom says
Can't wait to read! Thanks for using your "podium" for topics like this.
brianna says
I am so excited to read her post. Something that has really been laid on my husband and I's heart is to foster.
The Graves says
I would love to hear how you talked to your children as well as to prepare them for the changes to arise.
Nicole Hart says
I have filled out the inquiry with DCS to find out what we need to do to get started. I'm nervous about the whole process. My husband and I just got married in July and he had a 6 yr old son that we share joint custody of but we have primary household. We just bought a house and we have an extra bedroom for another child. My biggest concern with fostering is that we won't be able to due to debts. Don't get me wrong we do just fine and are now in the process of paying off our debts. But how much emphasis is placed on that? And any other suggestions on getting started is great!
Megan says
You and Meagan are both so amazing!!!!i can't wait to read more in a few weeks!! Actually I dunno if I can wait that long. Praying for you and Meagan during this time.
Alyssa says
I am a mom of three. My oldest is five. Are there rules regarding the age of your placement based on the ages of your bio children? Also, is the process similar to adoption to get approved (paperwork, home study, etc)?
Mrs. V says
I piggy back this question with one more! If you do have small children (mine are 3, 2, and 3 months) do you think it's better to wait until your bio kids are older? Is that what you did since your youngest bio is 5? It is hard to wait though when you feel this kind of burden but I want to do what's best for everyone involved (and stay honest to my own parenting capacity). Thanks Meagan!
Melissa Oftedahl says
My husband and I are just in the beginning phases of this process. We have 4 year old twins, and we feel that God has called us to add to our family by adoption. We are really struggling with which path to go down. We don't feel a clear calling towards international or domestic. Is there a point (either Shay or Meagan) when you just felt that one thing was right for you? We've been praying, talking to friends, reading blogs/books, but we are still struggling with this decision. The paths seem very different and it seems strange that we don't know yet. I'd love any words of wisdom or direction. Thank you!!
Defining Moments says
My husband and I are finishing up the licensing process now and expect that our first placement will be arriving in February. I agree with Kate Hofer, how do you keep all the rules straight and how to you keep all of the paperwork/important details organized? I have heard that a lot of people use binders and start a memory book to record important details that you would want as the adoptive parent, as a memory for you to keep should the child go home, or a sweet token to pass back to the family they end up with. Any personal preferences? One last thing, we are not yet parents so we are starting from scratch. We are fostering between 0-2 years of age. What would be your top recommendations for essentials to have on hand prior to the first call? Thanks so much for your willingness to share with all of us!!
Gaines Moorer says
No question here, just prayers for this sweet Mama and family. Fostering is the Lord's work!
Melissa says
I'm so interested in this as well. I feel like God has placed a burden on my heart and my husband's heart to eventually foster. But I'll be honest: It scares the heck out of me, the prospect of loving a child and then possibly having to let them go back to an unknown situation.
Even so, I, too, would like to know how to get started, and what type of financial situation we need to prepare for outside the obvious. We have two boys and so I expect the extra costs of clothing and food for more children. If they are of school age, how do you go about all that? If they are not of school age, do I have to be a SAHM? I currently work full time outside the home and have always felt like this was probably our biggest impediment to fostering. Finally, when they match you, are you able to place preferences on age and gender? What about long-term foster opportunities versus short-term? Okay, sorry, I guess I had more questions than I thought!
God bless you, Meagan. I will be praying for you and your family. Thank you also, Shay. I love how open you are about Ashby's adoption process (including the costs!) You have been a real blessing to many who read your blog, and countless children who will find forever homes because you've shone a spotlight on this issue so God can impress this great need on people's hearts.
Sarah Evinsky says
I'm really overwhelmed by the bureaucracy/logistics of foster to adopt. Did you go through a private agency or work directly with the state?
Lydia says
Why did DCFS place children in the home that did not have parental rights terminated already if she is trying to adopt?
Erin C says
Oh my goodness – thank you so much for posting this today! I have always wanted to foster or adopt and finally a few months ago, my husband jumped on board. We have decided that fostering to adopt would be the best option financially and emotionally for us. I have emailed our local foster care service and have been putting off calling for the initial conversation (I think fear and the unknown). Anyways, my husband and I have had a lot of talks and our biggest concern is how our 3 year will react to a new child living with us. She is VERY stuck on me and doesn't like to share. I know how flexible we have to be, but I can't expect my daughter to fully understand what is going and why. Do you have any tips on this? Also – how do we deal with the emotion from her when a child has to go back to their family? Again, thank you so much for this post!
Bianca says
I have praying diligently the last few weeks about fostering. After years of infertility and my husband being closed off to adoption, after church a few Sunday's ago, he just looked over at me and said, "How about fostering?" I was floored, I hadn't even considered it. So I am praying about it. I look forward to hearing more about Megan's story.
A few questions:
When you take in a foster child, do you know whether or not they are adoptable or will be?
How long did it take you to get matched with a child(ren)?
Do the parents have any contact with the child when they are under your care?
Thanks!
Candice says
Love this! My husband and I are in currently in the middle of the adoption process but would love to know more about fostering to adopt! This may be a dumb question – but is there a difference between fostering and fostering-to-adopt? Is there a difference in children that get placed with you if you want to foster to adopt – meaning maybe they have been in the foster system longer/will most likely be eligible for adoption sooner? Thanks! 🙂
Katie says
So wonderful that Meagan and her husband are following the Lord's call for their life… I hope, Lord willing, to get married to a Christ loving man one day and adopt. My question is why do you have to foster the children with the hope of being able to adopt them? Why can't you simply adopt them? Is this a "rule"? Just curious and wondering if the United States requires this before adoption? Thank you for answering! 🙂
Emily says
How do your kids handle foster children coming into your home? We have two, 3 and 7 months, and my worry is how I will balance two kids and all of the appointments, visitations, court hearings, etc with bringing children into our home. It will probably still be another year before we can, so the kids will be a tiny bit older at that point. Still a little overwhelming to think about, but a calling that is on my heart!
Ann Marie says
Congrats on this sweet, sweet additions! Praying that all works out and that these sweet little girls can call your home their permanent home! What a blessing you are to them… yet, them to you as well. CONGRATS on your precious additions.
Holly Paulette says
I love this! My husband and I are currently fostering a 3-year-old boy, and the Lord has made it obvious that, while loving this little boy, He has also put his bio-family in our lives for a purpose. Like Meagan, our hope is to adopt, but fostering is messy and reunification is his primary goal (which would be great if home was a safe and healthy place). I'd love to know about her relationship with the girls' biological mom and/or dad. Do you have a relationship with them, and how do you interact with them and support the relationship they have with the girls?
Susieutk84 says
How much does the foster to adopt process cost?
Chelsi McDonald says
My husband and I also struggle with whether we would be able to "be okay" if the children went back to their bio parents. We have read that its best to go into it with the mindset that you are helping the FAMILY get to a place of stability and that understanding their
Bio family may in fact be better as long as parents can get clean, overcome whatever issue is keeping them from their babies. How did you prepare yourself for the reality that they may not forever be in your home? And do you have regular contact with bio parents?
Amanda Long says
Adoption is beautiful! Can't wait for January 26th!! My husband and I privately adopted 5 month old twin girls 4 years ago. Prayerfully considering fostering when the girls start school. My question is, did you specify an age range since you have older kids? Ideally I would like 3 and under to keep a gap between the twins. I wouldn't want a placement older than them. Thanks!
Heather Lockhart says
I'm so excited to read Meagan's post because adopting domestically is something that we would like to eventually do. Questions: (1) do you have to start the process with fostering? (2) a previous commenter asked about the cost & I'm interested in that too, and (3) did you discuss ages and disabilities that you would be able and willing to handle in foster children?
Thanks!
-Heather
I do what I want.
Britton @ Southern Wife French Twist says
Thank you so much for this post!!! My husband and I have been talking about adoption since before we were married. Recently fostering has been something that has really been laid on our hearts. We aren't in a place financially where we would be considered (he's in school and working, I'm a SAHM).
My question is- Do you get to specify the ages you would like to go for? I personally keep being pulled back to the older kiddos. The only thing that holds me back is our kiddo(11 months) and how it would change him and his life. Also, does it matter that we would like (Lord willing!) to have more bio kids of our own? I've seen where some people get pregnant and their adoption process gets put on hold.
Page Zettlemoyer says
I don't have any questions, but am asking that you please keep us posted on Meagan and her family's journey. I'd love to hear that these little girls have found their forever home. Thank you!
Dani says
Do you worry about taking your foster children out in public? Do you worry about running into the foster child's bio family and a confrontation occurring?
Ani says
No questions to ask because we've been through the domestic adoption process… twice 🙂 But I am praying that the process for these two precious girls goes smoothly and they are able to be adopted by their forever family soon. Please keep us posted!
Emily says
We have three children and have always planned on having a 4th. Here lately I've had adoption on my heart a lot and my husband and I are praying for what route to take for our 4th child. How did you know this was the path for you?
If we were to adopt we'd really want a son, how difficult is it with domestic adoption to have a say in the child u receive? I hear all the time about how many children are looking to be adopted but when I do searches for domestic options it seems like so many of the children are much older than the age that would best fit our family!
How long is the process typically for domestic adoption? I don't think we'd be wanting to foster as I can't fathom the heartbreak if we had to give the child back! You are truly doing something so amazing for these precious girls! Prayers for u and can't wait to hear more!
Mely H says
I think somebody else already asked this question but do you have to be a SAHM to foster to adopt? What is the approximate cost? Why did you choose to do foster to adopt as opposed to adopting internationally?
Kelli @ A Deeper Joy says
Grateful for Maegan and her husband! Praying for those little girls – that God would place them where is best for the children 🙂 This whole process is not about us, it's about the well being of the kids.
We get our first placement next week! So excited!
Tiffany Aghassi says
We are licensed to foster to adopt and cost was very minimal you just have to pay to get cpr certified, fingerprints, and health and fire inspections. We've been licensed almost a year. Got our first placement within 2mos. We were licensed for 1 (we have 4 bio) but our first call was for a twin so we changed our license to two and the twins right before they turned two then 4 months later we got thier baby brother who had just turned one! So you never know what God has planned for you.
Dianne Hall says
Hello! Sorry if this has been asked but how long was the timeframe from when you started submitting paperwork to actually getting matched with a child? I hope everything works out for you and your family!
Tiffany Aghassi says
We we are fostering to adopt. We got our license Jan 2015 and first placement in March. We were licensed for one girl two and under (we have 4 bios) and got a call for twins! We got the girls right before thier second birthday. Then four months later we got thier baby brother who had just turned one. So you never know what God has planned �� Cost to foster to adopt is very minimal and I would recommend going through an agency because they will walk you through it all. Took us a year to get licensed but can be done within 6 months. We hope to adopt our three babies this year.
Megan says
My question is if there are rules regarding what age children can be for us to adopt them. My husband and I have not been able to have bio children and are now looking into adopting through the foster care system. We have found 2 siblings who have captured our hearts. However, they are 9 and 11 and since we have no children of our own and these kiddos are older, is there any chance of us actually getting them?
Alethea says
My husband and I adopted an 11 year old through foster care, and we were 27 year old first-time parents. In our state, at 21 you can adopt any age child. Some states have a rule that foster parents must be either 16 or 18 years older than the child, so you should inquire with an agency in your state.
Julie says
Thank you SO much for including a post about fostering to adopt!! I'm a mama of 2 precious kiddos who came to us through this program. It makes me want to do a happy dance on the rooftop to hear so many wonderful families considering adoption! Follow the Lord's promptings, don't be faint of heart, and prepare to watch a MIRACLE unfold. It can try your faith in ways you never imagined, but I guarantee you will see your own personal "parting of the Red Sea." Good luck to you all traveling down this path! So grateful to hear your story Megan!
Christi Smith says
I am so touched by all the comments on this blog from people who are interested in adopting. As a parent who adopted a child from foster care I know how rewarding it can be. The process can seem overwhelming but having a biological child is too! Wishing you many blessings, Meagan!
Haley Southey says
I absolutely love this post! thanks so much for sharing your heart Maegan! 🙂
Mary says
I love this post! I am a mom to my two miracle children…one through domestic infant adoption and one through foster to adopt. We officially adopted our son 13 months after he first came to our home when he was two months old! Good luck to you on your foster to adopt journey! I know it isn't easy!!
Kelly says
My husband and I are in the process of domestic adoption…we are in the waiting period right now and it's extremley hard. We are working with a local adoption marketing agency. We are so excited to be in this process and know this is truly the plan for us, but waiting to be chosen or matched is proving to be very difficult. For domestic adoption, any suggestions on how we can best market ourselves to prospective mothers? Thank you! I love reading your blog!
Natalie says
Thank you Shay and Meagan for opening up the discussion on fostering to adopt! Look how many of us are in that boat already or already considering it!! My husband and I have been married for 7.5 years with no luck trying to get pregnant, even after several fertility treatments. We have very good friends who have adopted two children and they are teenagers but two years ago they were licensed to be foster parents and just recently adopted their 3rd child after fostering her for 18 months! My friend has nothing bad to say about the foster care system and although it can be frustrating said she would not change a thing. My questions are below:
Were you afraid of receiving children that might have mental or physical issues due to the mom's treatment of herself and unborn child? i.e. drugs, alcohol, etc
How do you fully love the foster children but if you cannot adopt them cope with knowing that they will not be your forever children?
Thank you!
Jo says
My brother and sister-in-law are foster parents. They adopted a sibling set of three beautiful children and currently foster three other children. My sister-in-law blogs at fosteringblessings.com.
Meghann Callison says
This is a post I've been needing! We have decided that after several losses since our 2 bio kids were born we are wanting to look into adoption and my first thought was foster to adopt. A lot of my questions have already been asked but just in case…how do you start and/or where do you contact first…I've read about agencies that deal with just foster to adopt; how age, etc. specific can you get; what is the typical timeline for placement or does it depend on your criteria; is there a for sure when it comes to these children only being able to be adopted as opposed to regular fostering (not losing them after a time period would be my main concern). Thanks and good luck on your growing family!
Kate says
We are in the process of completing our home study right now. We originally started down the path of domestic adoption, but I have had the thought of foster to adopt put into my heart. How did you determine what was the right path for you? Second, I have reached out to a couple of foster agencies and was strongly encouraged by one that if we wanted to foster, one parent should stay at home. I know there are visits with the parents, appointments, etc, that have to take place (I am assuming during normal business hours??). I do not know if you work from home or work out of the home part/full time, but could you provide any insight on whether it is even feasible to work outside of the home and foster? If you do work outside of the home, how do the meetings and appointments work (or perhaps I am overestimating how many there are). Thank you!
Alethea says
My husband and I both work full time and foster-adopted our 12 yo son. Two-working-parent families are not a problem, though juggling schedules can be tricky – it works best if one parent has some flexibility about hours. We schedule all appointments between 3-5 pm on weekdays, and some services he gets in school. When our son was still fostered, his caseworker came at 5pm once a week. But talk to agencies about this when you're looking – some are better about working with working parents than others!
In our state they also won't place kids under 6 weeks in a family where one parent can't stay home, because they're too young for daycare. And they won't place highly medically needy children (which is a special class of license) without a stay-at-home parent.
Kate says
I also wanted to add, thank you so much for taking the time to answer all of these questions!
Paige Gingrich says
I'm still super young and not ready for kids of my own yet, but my heart already feels pulled to adopt one day. I'm wondering how likely it is that a child will stay with you forever? Or is this strictly case by case?
Anonymous says
I would encourage anyone looking to foster to adopt to do so…our family has been involved with this process too in TN. Unfortunately, the child we took care of for 1 1/2 years left our home for a relative. We've had to put it all in God's hands because He alone knows the whole story…past, present, and future. He is the God Who Sees, the God Who Provides, and is all knowing!
Here would be my advice:
-be realistic…know that the whole goal of fostering (from a child services perspective) is to reunite the child with family. From our experience, this is all legal and not common sense.
-legal…ask questions and do as much educating yourself as you can. From our experience, some of these "laws" are subject to interpretation because every situation is different.
-advocate for the child no matter what…do not leave this up to the social worker or attorney. There are some really good people who do those jobs, and then there are some who do not. We experienced both, but had to speak up for the child no matter what.
-be fair…it is easy to get "emotional" and to a huge degree it's impossible not too…but if the biological family is making effort, be fair.
-standards…once we realized DCS had lower standards than our personal ones, the process made a lot more sense.
-pray over all of it…and mainly for God's will, not your own.
I hope this encourages someone…we have biological children too. If this is on your heart then please start the process…it doesn't cost money, but time and emotions. The opportunity to care for a child at their most critical time is a huge blessing!
Valerie Cox says
Thank you so much for what you and your family are doing and being willing to share it with us! Can both parents work full-time jobs? This seems trivial, but are you allowed to rename a child? God bless you and your family!!!
Brady Wilhelm says
We just finished our MAPP class and are certified foster parents and now waiting on our official license. I have seen several of you comment that you're interested in fostering, but are scared. I TOTALLY get it! It is so scary and so unpredictable, but after finishing the class, I can say now that I am SO glad we got started. And I think that's really all you can do. Is just get started. You're in no way legally committed to continue being foster parents if you decide not to be after getting licensed, so you really have nothing to lose. I went into it on the iffy side, but my husband had a really strong calling to foster. After taking the class, I can truly say I feel it is my calling now too. I'm posting a link to a video that they showed on our last day of class–it's a little long, but gives SUCH a good perspective on foster care! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOeQUwdAjE0
Natalie says
Meagan, my husband and I began taking the foster classes in hopes of adopting at the end of this journey. We started 4 years ago attempting to adopt internationally but it's been a rollercoaster ride and we 'lost' two homestudy and had to start over because of political red tape… with that being said, the Lord has lead us to foster-to-adopt which we are extremely excited about. In the past 4 years we have taken all the necessary classes for international adoption and read a zillion books on adoption… My two questions are 1. What are the major differences between foster-to-adopt and private (whether local or international adoption? I know there are obvious answers to this but I'm looking to see if you have any insight into this 2. we have been looking for good resources and books to read in preparation for foster-to-adopt as everyone keeps saying this is a whole different ball game in comparison to international or private adoption, yet we are coming up empty handed on good educational resource books that will prepare us for these differences. Thoughts?
EJ says
Love this conversation & praying over all of you that have foster/adopted or are considering it. We have 4 kids that came to our home as newborn foster placements & we were eventually able to adopt. They are now 14, 17, 21 & 22. We also had 2 newborns that we had hoped to adopt, get placed with relatives – but we have been lucky to stay in contact with them over the years. Two pieces of advice – make sure you have a good caseworker that you work well with – she knew we wanted to adopt so she was careful placing babies in our home. Other advice – prayer from lots of people!
CAR08CMR10 says
What an incredible family! I am so looking forward to the follow-up post!!
HeyHey says
I have been reading your blog for a long time but have never commented but this post makes me so happy because my husband and I are also fostering to adopt 2 precious children. And we call our foster daughter Sissy! 🙂 Just thought that was neat. We tried for 2 years to have a baby and then we decided to go this route and Bubba and Sissy were our first placement and hopefully in just a few months will be forever part of our family! ♡♡♡
Mal says
Wow this is awesome. Thank you for bringing more awareness to all types of adoption!!! I am so interested in the fostering-to-adopt program, but know nothing. What are the risks with this type of adoption compared to the others? How much involvement do the biological parents have? Why did you choose foster to adopt over outright adoption? Any and all feedback is wonderful.
Jola Mochoge says
Do you have to foster to adopt in order for the government to assist or can you just go straight to adoption?
My only daughter was adopted just before her 3rd birthday. But at the time my hubby and I were living in South Africa, so I am not sure of the rules here. There we did it through the government and did not pay.
Yeah, adoption is blessing, ministry, and calling. Praying for all the mommies and daddies who have ministered in this way. "As much as you have done it to the least of these you have done it to Me" (paraphrasing)
maureen says
Shay I just love your heart for adoption and for Mamas in general! And I am so happy that Meagan and her family are in the midst of Fostering to Adopt. But I would caution, since Meagan has NOT adopted yet and is really in the start of her journey, that there are a LOT of questions and experiences she has yet to learn. Not trying to be a Bonnie Bummer, but giving advice at this point would be like giving advice on child rearing when you are still only 3 months pregnant!
I have fostered for 10+ years and adopted 6 children over those years, and no one case is the same and it also depends largely on what State you are in and can also differ depending on your county of residence in that state!
Also, the Fostering-To-Adopt programs are different than Fostering Programs, yet they can both end up in adoption. Fostering-to-Adopt in my state of Kansas does not guarantee you will adopt, and is very different from the same program in Missouri. (I live right by Kansas City so we are right next to the state line.)
I look forward to reading the follow-up post. I am praying for Meagan and her family, that all goes well!! Just wanted to give you a heads up before Meagan was inundated with questions she may not be able to answer. She should definitely remind everyone that her adoptions are not final yet. There is always risk in any adoption, especially if a family member were to come out of the woodwork! (This happened to me, just weeks before a finalization.) Adoption, just as anything wonderful thing, is risky, but worth everything!! Ultimately God has the plan and we just need to let His timing work itself out!
God Bless,
Maureen
Keziah Farrar says
I just love this topic so much and I love your passion for adoption Shay. Although the journey to do foster to adopt can be daunting, it is oh so worth it. Brynne has been such a blessing in our lives. Just the other day she asked me what is the one thing that has scared me the most in my life. I told her that it was the months and months of not knowing if we would be able to adopt her. She had the biggest smile on her face! She said I love you so much and am happy you are my mommy now! Worth all the heartache. I will be praying to Meagan as well as all the families that are considering adoption.
Blessing,
Keziah
Hilary Boozer says
Smith playing bball <3
Lindsey Doss says
What exactly are the legal differences between a closed adoption and an open adoption? How do you determine amount of contact, updates, pictures sent, (visits???), etc. ?
The Lovely One says
We adopted our son through our county's foster adopt program…. it's a heartbreaking process with a lot of tears shed, but totally worth it in the end!
Kristen A says
How did you an your husband make the decision to move forward with fostering to adopt? Who was the initiator in the discussion and how did the other eventually come to agree?
Also, what obstacles have you faced with your bio kids adjusting to new children in the family? (We only have one child, so we haven't even faced this with bio kids yet) How is the adjustment from kids adjusting to bio kids different from kids adjusting to fostering kids?
Kristen A says
Who was the initiator in the discussion to foster to adopt, you or your husband? How long was it until the other spouse felt the same?
What are some issues with your bio kids adjusting to a foster child versus a new bio sibling?
Suzanne Hines says
Shay,
I LOVE this post. I love your support for adoption, no matter the type!
I cannot wait to read the responses to all these questions on the 26th! It took a lot of self-control for me to not respond to all the above questions! Ha!
My husband and I are also foster parents.
It's hard to explain how hard it is, and yet how RIGHT it is, to be in this spot. I'm not superwoman or even an extra special person- it is hard, but it's so, so, SO worth it. I know that everyone is looking forward to Meagan's responses, but please let me know if you need more answers to questions. I blog about our life at The Glorious Mundane (www.suzannehines.org). I've had a really hard time finding other foster Mom's who blog consistently, and I'd love to help anyone out who has questions!
I'm so excited to read the answers/discussion on the 26th! Fostering is pretty much my passion 🙂