In lieu of a Friday Favorites post today, I’m sharing one favorite…the documentary on Netflix called Find Me…
Last week, I had a reader email me and tell me about this film because it’s not only about Chinese adoptions, but a large portion of it is filmed right in Ashby’s orphange. While she was there.
I sat down to watch it and was immediately a mess of emotions. This documentary is so good because it’s so honest and raw. If you have adopted, are in the process of adopting or are thinking about adopting, you should watch this. But you know what? Even if adoption is not on your heart whatsoever, you should still watch this. What I loved most about Find Me is that it covers the perspectives of the adopting families, the adopted children, the birth mothers and the nannies that care for these kids. All four points of view are so important and often, some of them are overlooked in this process. I thought they did a phenomenal job of covering all of them and explaining how each person is affected by adoption.
We’ve shared our story on here before, but the Lord called me to adopted before he called Andrew and that was a real struggle for us. I think this film even touches on that subject as well. In my opinion, this would be something I would have wanted Andrew to watch back during that time period because it really does lay out the experience and most importantly, THE NEED these kids have for forever homes.
I cried watching this both times because when they get to the part about Ashby’s orphanage and they show footage of so many kids in the background…I looked for her. But the sad part is…I don’t even think I would have recognized her if I saw her. How sad is that? It makes me cry just thinking about it. I wouldn’t know what infant Ashby looks like.
We were given sweet 2½ year old Ashby…so we’re not really sure what baby Ashby looked like. (This is Ashby the morning after we received her 🙂 .)
While we were in China the first time, we were able to visit Ashby’s orphange. It is a very large one in Xi’an. When Ashby was two, they moved her from the main orphanage building to the building next door where she lived in a foster home her last six months. This was her foster mom. This sweet lady here and her husband cared for five little girls in their little apartment here inside the orphanage. How blessed we are that people loved and cared for Ashby during this time?! She loved my baby when I couldn’t.
This is the main room where most of the babies are kept. Ashby was in this room and the room next door for two years.
And this is the room next door. This is where the babies sleep. The lady in the back is standing by the crib where Ashby slept for two years.
Watching Find Me brought back a lot of memories…good, bad and bittersweet. After I watched it alone, we watched it as a family. I told Ashby what it was about and made sure she wanted to watch it. When it was over, she was all like “Ahhhh! The cute little Chinese babies were so sweet!”. She was completely not phased (at this point, one day, she will be). Kensington and Smith sure were though. I think it was a really good reminder for both of them that this little bubble we live in is not the norm. The documentary mentioned how children at this orphanage are turned out at 14 and this really bothered my big two. Stuff like this is hard…but it’s happening right now.
There are a lot of things in this film that are really personal to us. The lady that brought Ashby to us is the same lady that brought this daughter to her new family. In the very same room. Watching it just flooded me with memories of that time. The stoic look on that sweet daughter’s face reminded me so much of Ashby’s.
So, after watching Find Me twice this week…I really can’t think of anything better to suggest for you this weekend. For me, it was a real honest and raw look at Chinese adoptions. It was full of a lot of joy and happiness (families are being made!), a lot of sadness (Nannies are losing babies they have been caring for in these orphanages and kids are being removed from the only home they’ve ever known), a lot of selflessness (so many of these parents are turning over their kids because they truly in their hearts think it’s the best thing for them) and a lot of HOPE.
When I watch those sweet babies in that film and think that my sweet baby was there…it breaks my heart and makes my heart happy all at the same time. Adoption is so beautiful but it’s born out of such heartache. But oh my goodness! I am so glad we did it…
I’m so glad we found her. She was meant to be ours.
Happy Friday, friends. xo