I get a lot of questions. A lot. And I really and truly try to answer each and every one of them! Sometimes, these questions are pretty similar and kind of in Dear Abby form…so I thought I’d start my own advice column to showcase a few. Do I have any business giving advice to people? Absolutely not. Do people still want my advice and opinion? Yes. If you’re asking, I’ll answer! (Because a baseball loving, mom of small children, foodie blogger should really solve all of life’s problems…)
It’s time to Ask Away with Shay!
All names have been changed to protect the privacy of everyone involved. Except for me…I kept my name the same. 😉
Dear Shay,
I’m 22 and graduated from college last May. I am trying to meet new friends and a boyfriend but I’m having a hard time networking and meeting new people. What should I do?
Thanks,
Brooke
Dear Brooke,
If I were you, I would start trying to meet new people in a church setting. I have found my best friends through Bible studies and other church activities. Look for a group that is similar to your life stage (young career people). Do you have any hobbies or interests? If you’re a runner, try a running club, if you’re a golfer, invite some friends out to hit balls on a weeknight…you’ll find other people who love golf out there doing the same thing. I would try and do the things you love and then, you’ll find people with similar interests and lifestyles doing the same thing.
Lots of love!
Shay
Dear Shay,
Before we had kids, my husband and I had a lot of quality time together but now, it’s really hard to fit that into our day. How do you and Andrew stay connected?
Thanks,
Amanda
Dear Amanda,
Andrew and I don’t really go on many “date nights”. I can’t even tell you the last time we had dinner and a movie just the two of us. That being said, we have mini-date nights every night after the kids go to bed. We have a rule that after the kids go to bed, neither of us are on our computers or i-Pads. We always put the kids to bed at 8:00 and then watch a show that we both enjoy while having a little dessert (for us…it’s a brownie…for you, it might be a glass of wine or something). We get two hours of TV, talking and quiet time before going to sleep each night. It’s amazing how much these two hours mean to us. No kids, no phones, no computers, just us. I feel like if we stay connected like this on most nights, we really don’t need big “dates” that often.
Lots of love,
Shay
Dear Shay,
What are a few main pieces I should add to my spring wardrobe? I can’t afford an entirely new wardrobe but I would like a few new pieces.
Thanks,
Stacey
Dear Stacey,
For me, spring is all about transitional pieces. Sheaffer and I have been on the lookout for the perfect light weight military jacket for months and the other day, we found it. She even did an entire post on it. Something light like a jacket, plus a great pair of wedges or flats (that can be worn with both pants and shorts) and some bright colored tops that will add a pop of color to brighten up your look for spring is all you need. Here is an example…
Dear Shay,
What do you make your kids for dinner on nights when they don’t want what you’re serving? I feel like it’s a constant battle at my house.
Thanks,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
I really, really, really don’t stress about what my kids eat at dinner. Andrew and I really want our kids to focus on family time and to enjoy sitting down at the table with us. It’s a great time for us to talk about our days and bond over our meal. My kids eat a lot of what I make. They’re really into pasta and meatballs, briskets and such. That being said, if I’m making something I just know they won’t enjoy, I don’t mind giving them a second option. I’m not a short order cook every night…but on some nights, I don’t mind preparing them some else if I just know what I’m serving isn’t their cup of tea. Some parents’ main priority at the dinner table is getting their kids to eat…our goal, is getting our kids to share with us what’s going on inside their little heads.
Lots of love,
Shay
Speaking of those kiddos…here are a few pictures of my sweeties for our Wednesday…
Tab & Erika says
How fun was that??!!! Loved it!
Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} says
How is it that I read these things and even I learn something?!? LOVE this series!!!!!!!
Liz says
Love this feature — and the sage advice, too.
Can't help but agree with the answer regarding long-distance relationships.
The other piece of advice I would add is that, unless your family is certifiably crazy, you should definitely listen to the people who have known you your entire life and if they see red flags with your intended, don't dismiss them because what they say is out of love and concern. Personally and with conversations with my girlfriends, we can now admit in our 30s that when we were in our 20s we were so infatuated with the idea that we were in love (and perhaps felt that we *should* be engaged and married with 2.5 kids) that we overlooked little inconsistencies and quirks that manifested themselves as something bigger years down the road.
hillary says
Love this!!
Narci says
This is super fun!! Great advice, girl!! 🙂
Anonymous says
I have a question about your getting up early post. I'm trying to make the transition from waking at 6 to waking at 5. The past few nights I wake up in the middle of the night & can't go back to sleep until right before the alarm rings. This has happened to me many times before this week, as well. Any advice?
thecaudills says
I have a really random question about strollers…my daughter just turned five. Is it acceptable to still bring our stroller for long days at the mall, zoo and amusement parks? I googled it and people were saying get rid of them at 2?! My thinking is id rather her have a place to rest than listen to "carry me" all day or have to cut our day short because she's exhausted. And I don't mean a huge stroller, just a little umbrella one. I guess I'm hoping you say I'm not a total whacko for keeping my stroller in my trunk!! 🙂
Dancing Through The Storms says
My daughter just turn 6 on Valentines. I still use one. Comes handy when her legs are tried or in crowed place.
Anonymous says
I have a question for the next session!!
I noticed when you take the kids to Chick-fil-A, you don't eat. I realize it's fast food and I know you don't put those things into your body. You seem to have a fairly clean approach to eating, albeit not super clean.
My question is- how do you justify letting them eat fast food when you don't?
I'd like to hear more about this because I feel like, Chick-fil-A especially, gets a wrap as a "healthier" option for our kids, and it's far from it. Which is really sad because it's a great, family-friendly place.
This is not critical. I used to feed my kids Chick-fil-A (and myself) but had to stop after reading these articles and also having extreme digestive problems after eating there.
http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/04/25/food-babe-investigates-why-chick-fil-a/
Mix and Match Mama says
I plan on using a stroller until my kids are 18 and out of the house :). Not only does it often make life easier (no whining to be held) but it gives me a place to put my bag, drinks, etc. And it's just a good place to keep kids contained. Use a stroller until you think your kids are done with it. That's a personal choice!
Amanda says
Cute series with thoughtful advice! 🙂 -xo Amanda
Lindsay McFarland says
Love the series!!! Thanks Shay!
The Cantelmo Family says
I agree about the stroller issue too. I have 4 kids and believe me I will have that stroller forever! Ha!
Great advice Shay! What a fun series! Totally agree about the long distance relationship! There have been a number of relationships that I had prior to meeting my hubby and even though it hurt at the time to break up it has been best in the long run. Couldn't imagine being married to some of my ex boyfriends.
Angela Ellingson says
Love love love this!! I've emailed you a few times over the past year and you've gotten back to me every time. I can't help but be a little surprised every time knowing how busy you are and the volume of emails and comments you receive. It means a lot that you take the time. You're kind of like the big sister I've always wanted. You encourage me in my faith, give great shopping and fashion advice, inspire me in many ways and most of my family's favorite meals have come from you. Thanks for all you do!!
Liz/happymommy says
I love this….so fun to see these questions and answers and it also kind of surprises me at some of the questions people ask you!!!
MakeMeUpMia says
I love your evening mini date rule! Great advice 🙂
Laurie S says
Hi Shay: Liking your new feature, and loving the advice you're passing along. Especially like the long-distance relationship and the family dinner time ones…
Have a good day!
Darcy says
What a fun post!
Melissa says
You are just the sweetest. I loved this post! 🙂
Amy Flemister says
So excited about this series! I love, love, love that picture of Smith in his helmet… So cute!! And the picture of Andrew and Kensington… oh how precious! Hope you have a great day Shay.
JenC says
Love your blog! Quick question what size is your military jacket? Been on the hunt for a great one I am 5'6 but feel many of them are too short. But I really like the look of this one. Perfect for the spring 🙂
Thanks!!
Jaren says
Fun, fun, fun and great advice! Maybe on one of your next Ask Shay posts, you could answer these: What has been your favorite post you've done? Do you have any posts you regret? Are there any subjects you are afraid to blog about because you just don't want to hear hurtful criticism?
Mix and Match Mama says
My military jacket is a small!!
As for Chick-fil-a…sometimes I have soup there but I don't eat anything else. At this stage in my kiddos' lives, I want them to be kids. They have so much fun playing at Chick-fil-a with their friends that I think it's perfectly acceptable for them to have a few nuggets and fruit. I don't want to push any food issues on them. They'll grow up and see how we eat as a family and then make the best choice for their life. For me, if I'm splurging, it's not going to be on Chick-fil-a…it's going to be on a cupcake. I save my splurge moments for that stuff.
kristinwithani says
Well, that was fun!
Now I have so many questions….
Shelly says
When I read your blog and your approach to life I feel like we were separated at birth! Great advice!
Anonymous says
Loved this Shay! How sweet of you to take time to answer these questions. I don't know you, but can tell you are a very special, caring person. Love your blog!!!! Great answers by the way.
sarah c says
Love love your idea mini date nights!! Love you too!! Btw I mentioned this to you before you need to change your name from mix and match mama to spicy and young mama
Aubs says
oooo….this is a fun series!! loved all of your answers! =)
Molly says
I love your answer to the dinner question. It was what I always felt but had never seen it said so well. I do not want to make dinner a battle every night. I love having time with my kids to hear about their day and what is going on with them!
Susan Pelizzaro says
Hi Shay, I am so ready to start waking up early as soon as my baby is sleeping through the night! I have a question – do you have any beginning photography tips? I have a nice camera but really don't know how to use it. Do you shoot in manual mode? You post nice pictures on your foodie blog and I'm looking for some tips. Thanks!
Anonymous says
I would LOVE to hear more on your bedtime routine for your kids! I have a 3 and 4 year old and my husband and I tell ourselves every. single. night that our kids will be in bed by 8 so we can enjoy 2 hours alone and it just doesn't happen. We so badly long for those 2 hours alone after a long and busy day! Please share your wisdom!
Susan Pelizzaro says
I just realized that my comment and question are so random! I totally thought you mentioned getting up early in this post. I knew my question was random though… Sorry about that!
Anonymous says
shay,
With your relationship with Andrew, are you very 'touchy feely'snuggle, make out, hold hands daily.. you seem like it!!
I always wonder if it's just how we perceive things on blogs!
Anonymous says
shay,
With your relationship with Andrew, are you very 'touchy feely'snuggle, make out, hold hands daily.. you seem like it!!
I always wonder if it's just how we perceive things on blogs!
amy says
Shay
I hope this does not come off as judgemental, it really isn't!!!
But do you give yourself a clothing budget a month? Do you have a budget? if you do, you should share tips!!
Also, what's the most expensive clothing/accessory item you have splurged on?
Amy
Aubrey says
I LOVE your advice about mini date nights. When I said mornings are my favorite time of day, I totally lied. Those two precious hours with Nick are my favorite time of day. Mornings are second.
And I really appreciate your focus on family at the dinner table. I get so disappointed when I prepare something new that I think the girls will love and they don't like it. I take it personally, even though I know I shouldn't. (This happened Tuesday evening.) Next time I have one of those nights, I'm going to adjust my attitude by focusing on the togetherness. Thanks, friend!
Paula says
This is exactly how Chris and I date! It works so well for us!
Alice says
and then Andrew took a baseball bat to the leg! The end!
But really, I loved what you said about enjoying dinner time at the table and not so much the food.
Anonymous says
I love this series! I have a really random question. How do you deal politely with a man that is possibly flirting? I want to be polite, but firm! 🙂