Two. I feel like I’ve always had two kids.
Kensington was here 16 months and 3 days before Smith…but I was really sick with morning sickness 38 weeks and 5 days of that with Smith, so he most definitely made himself known and felt a part of things. It just feels like there has always been two of them.
And they’re really close. They play together non-stop. They talk to each other non-stop. When one of them isn’t around, the other one is constantly asking when he/she will be home. They are pretty inseparable.
Now, don’t get me wrong. This happens a lot too. I always say, the only time my kids really get into trouble is when their playing turns into pestering and one of them gets super aggravated and I’m saying the phrase “stop touching your brother/sister” over and over again. Life ain’t always grand over here…but for the most part, they play really well together.
So, what happens when there are three? Three is a hard number in life because someone usually feels left out. Will Kensington and Smith stay super close and Ashby feel left out? Will the girls be really close and Smith feel left out? Will Smith and Ashby be really close because they’re the two home all day together while Kensington is at school and she’ll feel left out? Will they all feel left out? Will they all feel like they belong together? Will I say the phrase “stop touching your brother/sister” even more? Will things be kind of chaotic? Will I need to work on my patience? Will I need more coffee? Yes. I’m pretty sure yes to all of it.
So…we’ll see how this all plays out. I have no fantasies of things transitioning smoothly. Transitions are rarely smooth. I anticipate a lot of bumpy roads as we transition to a family of five. The good news is that God has this all worked out…he always does. He doesn’t call you to something he isn’t going to equip you for…and he has absolutely called us to adopt.
Before the four become five, we had a little boy time and girl time last week…here are a few pics…
Smith and Andrew drove to Missouri on Thursday for their first hunting trip and to see Andrew’s high school play a football playoff game, so when I walked to school to get Kensington that afternoon, it was just us girls. After we got home, I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she wanted her nails painted on the patio. I love being a girl mom :).
After we ate soup for supper, she wanted to make herself a Peppermint Sundae. After she constructed it, she said she wished she had a blog to put it on…well mama has Instagram, so we put it on there and she was so proud! A future foodie for sure!
While we were home, the boys stopped to eat dinner before pulling into Andrew’s parents’ house. Such cuties :).
Smith and Andrew woke up early Friday morning to hunt. Andrew was so excited to take his boy back to where he grew up hunting.
Waiting to see what walks by…love these two :).
On Friday night, we took baths and put our jammies on at 5:30, then ordered a pizza and watched Maleficent together. We had the best time!!
The boys were at the Webb City High football game while we were cozy in our pjs.
Such a fun trip for them!
We both really enjoyed our special time with the kiddos! Soon, my blog is going to be full of “Ashby firsts”…Ashby’s first pedicure, Ashby’s first movie night, Ashby’s first trip to Missouri…we have lots of fun firsts ahead of us with #3…but until then, we’re just going to enjoy our two.
It’s a really cold and maybe snowy week where I live, Meal Planning Monday has quick suppers perfect for cold, dark and snowy nights.
Kaileigh says
I grew up in a family of 3, and I feel that although there would be one who felt left out maybe, it varied as to who it was. Each sibling will find their own way to bond with each other and have their own special relationship!
Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} says
This post was just too sweet. That pic of the kids on the sofa with K's feet on Smith was just too precious for words. And you're right, God called you, so he will equip you. And on those bumpy days, he will see you through them. Come home Ashby!!!! We love you already and have been praying for you for a long time! I can't wait to see your family of 5 in action. 🙂 Love you Shulls!
Betsy Maddox says
So sweet Shay. I have four kids. My daughter was four and my son was 17 months when I had twin baby girls. I knew I was having twins and I remember rocking and holding my son and thinking, how am I going to do it with four?? Do I have enough love to go around and enough patience and time for everyone? And how will two little babies effect my older two and their relationship together? But when they got here, all those things just worked themselves out. There was so much love and fun and happiness to counteract the crazy, stressful days. I know that is how it will be for you too. Plus, you are realistic about expectations and that helps! Praying for you during this transition!! 🙂
Erika Slaughter says
Such a sweet post!! Yes, I'm so sure some days will be super hard but God totally has this under control! Can't wait to meet the little miss!!
Narci says
Life with three is a little more chaotic, but also so wonderful. I can't wait for you guys to have an even more full heart when we have Ashby at home! SO excited for the Shulls!
Tara G. says
Excited for you! Seems like these reflective thoughts are always part of the nesting process when the time is near! Praying! Tara
Michele @ The Joyful Home says
You're going to love having a 3rd! My husband and I are both the oldest of three, and we also have three kids. It feels so happy and so full, and your new addition is so blessed to be a part of such a great family. My sister and her husband recently made the decision to adopt, and we are all so excited about it. Thank you for sharing your journey with us–can't wait to read all about Ashby (super cute name BTW).
kimm atwood says
What a sweet post!
kteacher22 says
We have 3 kids, and it feels like the perfect number to me :). When I was expecting #3, we read You Are All My Favorites by Sam McBratney (the author of Guess How Much I Love You) every night before bed. It is about a mother bear who loves her three little bear cubs with all of her heart. Hooray for your new little cub!!!
Brittany Medland says
Awesome post! I cannot wait to meet sweet Ashby 🙂
Stacy P. says
We went from a family of 4 to a family of 5 with our little blessing who came along after I figured we were done with babies! 🙂 My 3 all get along/don't get along like the waves of the ocean. They do stuff together, alone, in random pairs. They are a little older now (15, 12 and 8) so their interests take them in different directions, but they generally like each other and it feels weird when one of them isn't around. AND, btw, usually I'M the one feeling left out! (poor mom! lol!)
Aubrey says
Yes. Yes. Yes. Three times yes.
You, Andrew, Nick, me…all one of two. And we've all felt compelled to mix it up and have three. It's bound to be hard and awesome and messy and fabulous. When you've got all this love, you just want to SHARE IT!
The View From Here says
We adopted our daughter and went from having just two to having three . It has been such a blessing !!! Can't wait to meet Ashby !
Becky says
I have 3 girls (8, 5, 4) and sometimes someone gets left out. When that happens, I put myself in the mix and I play (or read to or enlist as a dinner helper) with whoever is left out. I might not get as much accomplished around the house or dinner might be later, but it's always worth it!
Angela Ellingson says
Love it all! You always have such great perspective and I love your transparency. Soooo excited for Ashby to come home. Praying for all 5 of you!
melissabunny100 says
I can't wait to see a pic!!!
Andrea Clark says
Love love love being a mama of 3!!! We have two girls and a boy as well, and our son is the middle child too…perfect because as the only boy he has his own special role so no middle child syndrome!
Tracy says
Your two are darling! What fun memories you're making while you wait for baby sister to join your family. 🙂
Eryn Morel says
It's comforting to know we all have the same feelings, insecurities, fears, etc. about expanding our families. I'm wrestling with the same feelings right now as we think about adding one more child to our family. But like you said, the Lord will see you through! Amen to that!
Lindsay D. says
Great post! I'm so excited for your family!!! God Bless!!!
Anonymous says
I know your anticipation of the date is increasing. Well, it's not just you, but I and other readers are getting so excited too!! Still think she'll be coming home by Christmas, Shay?!! Praying with you about transitions… Always hard, but God is always in them with us!
Karen I.
Anonymous says
Do you have any idea when she'll be joining your house? Will it be in 2014 or not until 2015 or is there not a set date yet?
Jen says
What an exciting time! You have precious children and I know Ashby will be too. Praying for your transition as your family quiver grows!
Melissa says
I think every mama goes through this same range of emotions and concerns before the addition of another child. There's a significant age gap between my older two (8 and 5 years) and our youngest and I was worried they wouldn't bond, but my fears were totally unfounded.
I was just telling a pregnant friend the other day that everyone figures out what works for them and their kiddos…no doubt there will be rough patches, but she can do it and so can you! I can't wait to see pictures of sweet Ashby and I know her big brother and sister are going to adore her!
Laura says
If 2 is good, 3 is better! I spent the first 13 years of my life as the oldest of 2 girls, we are 15 months apart. Same as your kids, we really only got in trouble for aggravating each other. When there are just two you get really good at picking at each other back and forth when you get bored cranky! Anyway, when we were 13 and 12 we unexpectedly got an 11 year old permanent foster sister through our church. The pastors asked my parents in the morning and she was at our house unpacking her little things that afternoon for a '2 week stay til her next custody hearing was settled'. It has not been easy, she had some really destructive years during her teens and twenties. My mom always says she wishes she had gotten her when she was younger. It's been 23 years since that move in day and we're now 36, 35, and 34 with 8 kiddos between us. I have 3 girls now myself and I love it, it's a great balance, takes the pressure off, and makes a community. When one needs help there are two to help pick up. When one is being crazy, there is always someone to vent to who understands. My parents didn't plan to have a family of 5 but I have learned more from them about putting others before yourself and Jesus' unconditional love than I'll ever know. Your kids will undoubtedly learn the same from you 🙂
Jenny Perez says
I bet you're so so ready to just snuggle your sweet Ashby in your arms!! Isn't it awesome to know that God will work out all the details. Due to life circumstance, my kids are over 5 years apart in age. People,often ask me if they are close . Despite age and gender differences they are truly best friends. Don't get me wrong, some days I feel more wwf referee than a mom, 😉 but they truly adore each other. Praying your sweet girl is home soon!
Jaren says
My Olivia and Grant are now 7 and 6 and are still really close although they fight a little more than they used to. I have to say it is SO MUCH easier having them close in age. When Macy Paige was born (she's almost 3), they ADORED her…not once was anyone ever jealous, which I really worried about. What has been hard is that now that she's 2 1/2, we have trouble finding moments with the bigger kids to play games and stuff because Macy really doesn't let us do that as easily. And we now have our caboose (Landry who is 4 months today) taking a lot of our time. I can see the older kids really need some one on one time a lot more lately. It's been tough, but I love having a big family and I know my kids will love it growing up with tons of memories. I'm so excited for y'all!!!
Taylor says
Loved this post! So very excited for you and your family!
Penelope Chapman says
I am so so excited for your family! I wish nothing but the best for all 5 of you.. God bless.
Melissa says
We have a six-year-old girl, a four-year-old boy, and an 18-month-old girl. I've found it all to be true, at different times. The girls get along because they're girls, even at 5 years apart. The two older ones are able to play together in ways the baby can't. And the two younger ones have such a special bond because they're home more together. Life can be very loud and chaotic, but so, so fun. Blessings to your family in this special time of transition. (And those special one-on-one times are even more cherished by the kids when there are three, and the attention is spread around.) Thanks for always inspiring us.
sayyestohappy says
I LOVE this post. You are a beautiful, profound, writer. You are so inspirational. Ashby will be so incredibly lucky to be joining your sweet, warm family. Once she comes home it will be like she's always been there. Everything will work itself out the way it should, I have no doubt.
I can't wait to meet her virtually and have her become a Shull for life!
Lee Family says
It's 3xs the love…"I love you more than carrots" blog has the most perfect article about the transition from 2-3. I found myself nodding yes to her journey (we have had 3 kids in the past 3 years, 2 adopted and 1 biological). Blessings to your family as you care for a child who needs a family. Laughter, joy and much love is headed your way through Him whom all blessings flow….
realmommypreneur.com says
I absolutely love this post! I'm sure you all will do well together when Ashby arrives. So excited for the upcoming posts!
Paula says
I am so excited for your family! You have a sweet heart! Your children will fight and both you and your husband will feel like, "What have we done?" And in the exact same breathe, not trade one day of it. I firmly believe that the Lord gives us all different personalities to help with that 'iron rubbing iron'. It is to make us stronger and become who He has called us to be. Your children will forever grateful for one another and that God chose them to be family!
Molly says
Shay, I've followed your blog for a while now, what brings me down to earth when I need a distraction away from my work. Your family of 5 will grow in ways you never imagined and the support that comes from one another will be ever greater with the 5th. I grew up in a family of three kids, so party of five. I can say it is the sole thing I hold most dearly, above any possession or place. A family of five is extremely special, and is my place to call home. I'm so very excited to follow Ashby's arrival and growth. I can only imagine how thankful she'll be when she looks back to have joined your family with two eager siblings and two eager parents ready to love her!
The Trombly's says
I thought our family was complete at 4, but then our unexpected blessing arrived. He TOTALLY completed our family! My older two are twins and my youngest is 5 years younger. The relationship each have with each other just melts my heart. Yes, there are moments that are hard and chaotic but I have no doubt the love will be overflowing in your home! I love being a family of 5! Cant wait to "meet" Ashby!
Marty says
Love this honest post. Whether we adopt or have children biologically, when we add another child to the family, we are all concerned with how the dynamic will change and how everyone will feel (Just a little heads up from an "older" mom, this feeling goes for the ones your children choose for their mates, too. No matter how much you love them, have prayed for them, how perfectly they fit your family…there is always an adjustment for everyone). For us, our first child was born with Down Syndrome, and we wanted him to grow up with a sibling. And then we loved having two children so much that we had 3. And then we had 4. It's not for everyone, but it's for us, and God gives you the love and grace for whatever He calls you to do. Even tho you haven't had Ashby in your arms since her birth, God has been watching over her, and holding her close until you can get there.
Meaghan says
We adopted #3 last October from Ethiopia after having a bio girl and boy 2 years apart. Feels like our baby boy has been here all along! The older two are BFF, the bookends have a special relationship, and the boys love each other in their own "I need to tackle you" kind of way! We are adopting a baby girl from China now, and can't wait to complete our family next year!
Nicole @ A Peek Into New Chapters says
i'm the middle child of three, and i think i grew up with the perfect mix. it was two girls and a boy, just like your's will be. i think we all felt a little left out at one point or another, but it was never one person all the time. we are some of the closest siblings i know. i think three will be great for you guys too! 🙂
Aubs says
LOVE this! Life with 3 is definitely all of those things you mentioned and at times it can be challenging but aren't most worthwhile things a challenge at times?! So excited for you and your sweet family!! Praying for y'all in this sweet time of waiting and anticipation!!
sarah c says
Sooooo happy for y'all! Ashby has no idea she is going into such a beautiful family!! Your kids are so beautiful! Keep the posts coming about Ashby . Love to hear more about her.
Elaine says
Going from 2 to 3 was the biggest struggle for me! Our 3rd baby was a surprise pregnancy and I was very mixed about it in the beginning! Now, it's like she's always been here and always been a part of our family and I couldn't imagine our family without her! While it is so difficult to find time to split between my three girls, we have fun together as a family and I try to have special outings with all of them individually! You'll totally rock it!
Renn McMurray says
Going to 3 is going to be crazy and amazing all at the same time, and above all its going to be just right. Not because its meant to be 3 kiddos in the family but because its meant to be THESE 3 kiddos in the family. Ashby just meant to be there.
Funny how I'm excited about seeing this sweet girl on your blog, without really knowing her sweet family.
And, I just wanted to share on being the first or middle or the baby – my best friend growing up was a middle child and loved it. Her mom always said she was the cream in the Oreo (and lets just be honest, who doesn't love the cream in the Oreo) so that is just to say every single spot is going to be special and just the right spot in the family for that kid.
Wishing you all the best!