Hey there, Tuesday!
So, today, I am asking for help from those of you with older kiddos. I would love to know your thoughts, ideas and suggestions on chores and allowances.
I have a lot of random thoughts on the subject, so bear with me as I rattle them off…but I would love your input.
So, we love the idea of our kiddos earning money. Last year, the two big kids earned enough money to buy themselves Garmin Jr watches and it was a FANTASTIC experience. Not only did they work hard to earn the money, but it taught them about money (they were in 1st and 2nd grades, so it was a great time to talk about exchanging some bills for others, adding in sales tax, etc).
This past year, Andrew and I have really tried to instill in them that for every dollar you earn, you should think about what portion of that gets tithed, saved, donated or spent.
So, lately, they have been earning money for chores around the house. Now, my brain always toggles back and forth between should we should give you an allowance for helping around the house or you should do some things not for money but because you’re an active member of society and because of that, you should take care of your stuff (like for instance, making your bed)?
Does that make sense?
I mean, I get that it’s reasonable to pay them for chores…but sometimes, I don’t want to pay them for things they should just be responsible for (like cleaning up your room, making your bed, doing your homework).
So, lately, we’ve been paying them for things that fall outside of “their personal responsibility” for instance, one chore they’re getting paid to do is put away the whole family’s laundry (instead of just their own…because in my head, I feel like they should put up their own not for money but because it’s their own laundry and they should handle it).
Does that make sense?
Needless to say, this is uncharted territory.
I love that they earn money, that way if they say “will you buy me a book for my Kindle”, I can say “No, but you can.” and then that tells me if they really want the book or not (are they willing to spend their own money or is it just super easy for Mom to pay for whatever they want).
I don’t know…there’s a good chance we’re screwing them all up.
Maybe by the fourth kid, we’ll have it right?
Or not.
I mean…who knows?
So, I would LOVE your tips on chores, allowances and things like that today. Maybe we should be paying them for making their own bed, putting away their own laundry??? I don’t know? Maybe we shouldn’t be paying them at all. Hahahaha! See? I don’t know?!
We have a chalkboard upstairs that lists their daily responsibilities (room clean, homework completed, hobbies…like the violin…studied, laundry put away), but we also love having them help with other things (putting away other people’s laundry, watering the plants outside, vacuuming, etc).
Help.
Your thoughts needed.
Please comment.
xo
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Oof, that’s a tough question. I hope you’ll get your answer, Shay! Growing up, I never really did any chores and had an unlimited allowance – I was a spoilt only child for sure, reading this post makes me feel a little bad!
–
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
jamie says
i love your honesty! i rarely made my older kids do chores growing up because i wanted to be the {fun cool mom}.
Olesya Griffith says
I’ve been listening to a Podcast called Focus on the Family by Dr. Bob Barnes, and he had some podcasts on this topic. He said that he gave his kids a $1 per year of age, weekly. So if you have a five year old for example, that would be $5 per week. Also he said kids should not be paid for doing their chores. Those are things they should learn need to be done and taken care of, and how to be a team member without getting anything in return. So all the kids just got a weekly allowance, and it would only be decreased or taken away if there was a warranted behavior issue or trust was broken somehow that week. He also as the kids would get older help teach them to set aside money to tithe, like putting it in an envelope and letting them tithe it themselves in church etc.
Tina says
I love this suggestion! ^^^ – I’m looking forward to these comments! Shay, I feel like I’m exactly where you are! To pay them or not to pay them?? My oldest is 7 (other two are still babies) and just getting him to clean his room or make his bed is like PULLING TEETH! I wonder sometimes if I should just forget it and let his poor wife clean up after him when he’s grown. Lol! It really is a battle…even with discipline and consequences. However….if he is given a task outside of his room, he EAGERLY does it and feels so big and important. He would honestly rather clean his bathroom than make his bed?!? Do you struggle with getting any of your kids to do the things they’re supposed to do? If so, would you mind sharing how you handle it? I’m all about picking my battles and sometimes this one just doesn’t seem worth it…mostly because it is a battle every.single.time. He’s only ever been paid for some yard work and I’m torn on paying him for other things when he won’t do it just “because I said so”.
Jennifer Atmore says
I love this idea!
Donna says
I very much agree with this approach. Being responsible for ones self and contributing to the family’s home and needs is what every child needs to learn to be good people and good citizens. Having discretionary spending money is a blessing every family member gets according to their age and should be separate from chores. Children need to know doing the chores is a given and these activities contribute to them being responsible people/adults. Period. Having discretionary money also contributes to them being responsible people/adults. One does not depend on the other and should not. If it does the child at some point can choose to forgo the money and not do the chores. There needs to be a deeper value to doing the chores. Discretionary money is provided out of love.
Stephanie Krager says
We actually follow Dave Ramsey’s chore idea! We started our oldest on her 4th birthday, I expect things like picking up their toys, bringing their plates over to the sink after eating (I’m ocd about getting dishes washed! Lol) picking up their room, but she gets paid for taking out our recycling, feeding our dog, plus a couple others. Then each time I give her the proper amount to put in her weekly envelopes and at the end of the week we look together and I show her how we split it three ways (Dave Ramsey has a spend/save/give piggy bank) and then she goes to her room and puts the amounts in her bank! She loves it!!!
Leslee says
Yes yes yes! Dave Ramsey!
Carrie says
I’m going to chime in as an educator. I’m a 2nd grade teacher and I totally get what you are saying about doing some things as an active member of society. There are just some things you must do! As a mom, I struggled, but my kids earned an allowance for above and beyond chores, not the things they should do to function (bed making, room cleaning, etc.) As a teacher, I love it when kids come ready and willing to help out in the classroom. If dividing up chores -some for allowance and some just because -creates those kind of students, then hooray for that plan!
Pat says
My kids are in their 20’s! When they were young we wanted them to learn to manage money so we started giving them $10 / week to manage. We obviously purchased necessities: food, clothing, school supplies etc. the money was for things they may have wanted, but not necessarily needed, or movies with friends etc. hence saving for things that are important to you. We never tied money to chores. It was our philosophy that if you live in a family/ community, there are expectations to be in that “group”. Mom and dad aren’t paid to cook or do laundry, to mow a lawn, go to work, etc. it’s part of being in a family. We wanted them to do things because it was the right thing to do, not because they would be paid. It worked great. My daughter has always been a fashionista. After I supplied her with what she “needed” for her wardrobe, the extra, unnecessary “stuff” she had to save for.
Megan says
Love that idea!
Erika Slaughter says
Oh, how I’m looking forward to these comments!! Coming back later to read! XO
Lauren says
Growing up we each had our own “personal responsibility” chores that we had to do (make the bed, etc.) and then we got paid to do the extra chores like vacuuming, dusting, unload the dishwasher, etc. It worked really well for us!! I saved up my money to buy my own American Girl doll and I swear I loved that doll 10x more because I worked so hard to earn her!
It was a win/win because our mom got help around the house and we were also taught the value of working for something. In the summer though, we had two additional chores added to our “personal responsibility” list because we had more time to help (and also more time to make a mess around the house!)
I will definitely do the same thing with my kids!
Eowyn says
I do the same. Certain chores I’ve picked to be required and unpaid (“we all contribute around here”), but others I’ve made paid. They have to do the unpaid chores regularly and without complaining if they want to be paid for the paid chores. It works for us! My boys are really motivated to earn the money for whatever they want, and it helps me out too now that they’re older (11, 9, and 5).
Lyndsey says
This is essentially how we do it, too. We pinned a chore chart to our oldest’s board in his room so he knows what specific big chores he does each day (Monday: dog poop, Tuesday: pull weeds). But, there’s also those unlisted things he does daily (bed making, tidying up his room, feeding the dogs) that, if he complains about or chooses not to do them, will affect the allowance total given out on Sundays. We don’t put a dollar amount on each chore – he just gets his money on Sundays for all of the work that week. And then from his allowance, 10% goes to savings and 10% goes to church.
Jodi says
We do the same thing!
Kathy says
I wholeheartly agree with Lauren and this how we did it with our kids. They should be responsible to take care of their things (making beds, clean their own room, etc) and earn money only doing extra chores such a vacuuming, etc. Every once in a while they would donate money for a special cause that comes up or to church. You’ve got the right idea Shay.
CARRIE ANDERSON says
Growing up we had basics to be done that fell to personal responsibilities (like you said, clean room, make our bed, etc.), a weekly household chore (mine was dusting the living and family room, my brother had to vacuum), and a daily chore (one of us set the table, the other cleared it which we rotated). Those were unpaid. We could do other things around the house to earn money. It helped with understanding we were part of a family and were expected to contribute, but that we could go above and beyond to make money.
As we got older (like teens) we still had all those responsibilities but things like tickets to the high school football or basketball game or an occasional movie with friends were paid for by my parents not with our own money so we were really earning for “splurges” (like you said an extra book or my wet and wild lip gloss (HA)). It really is a balance and I feel that it becomes more about understanding that you have to work for things and helps with the value of what something really costs rather than “if you want that shirt you have to pay for it all on your own”
Emily R. says
I’m so glad you posted this. My kids are into the Brady Bunch right now. My oldest, 6-years old asked if we could start handing out allowances on saturday morning like in the Brady Bunch. I too agree that there should be some things she wouldn’t get paid to do but are there extras where she could earn a little money?!
Elizabeth says
We pay commission, a la Dave Ramsey style. My oldest is 5 and she understands if she doesn’t work-she doesnt get paid-which I think is a good age appropriate thing to understand. She gets paid for chores that are extra- like helping me clean up the living room and putting laundry in the dryer, folding & putting away clothes. But some chores like making your bed, taking your dishes to the sink etc you do because you live here & you love Mom & want to help. I think the balance you’ve got is great!
jamie says
yes! love dave ramsey too!
Kristen says
We do this also (Dave Ramsey)! We pay for extras – emptying dishwasher, folding laundry, dusting, vacuuming. The “must do’s” without pay are make your bed, put clothes in hamper, clean up after you play with a toy/game, clean up after dinner (put dishes in sink).
Christie Asmussen says
Hi Shay! I love these topics that really make me think about your question and what I do. I have two high schoolers. They do things unpaid – one takes the garbage out, one dishes. They both are really good at helping me with what I need done. All that is unpaid, but totally support your kids having a little money in their pocket – and what else are they supposed to do to get it? That said – my two are old enough to work now – so my suggestion/rule for them is 50% savings, 50% do with it what you want. They keep babysitting money and monetary gifts. Have fun reading everyone’s feedback – I will too! 🙂
Elspeth Mizner says
Growing up we always got an allowance for chores outside of our responsibilities. For example, it’s expected that we all clear the table after dinner or help fold wash, tidy up the house. But, if we helped with outside work, or doing other outside chores besides our responsibilities we got an allowance. I really liked this method growing up. Hope it helps.
Brooke says
Growing up, my mom had a similar mentality. My brother and I were active members of our family/society, so we shouldn’t have to be paid to do things that are our personal responsibility (like you already said). I think it’s a great idea that they can earn a little cash doing things outside of their own “personal” responsibility though because it still gives you the opportunity to teach about money, but you don’t have to feel like you’re giving them money for things that they should already be doing without having to be rewarded.
Laura says
Growing up we got $1 for every year old we were and had chores we were supposed to do. So when I was 6 I got $6/week and I had to roll in the empty trash bin from the curb each week, set the table, etc. I was definitely encouraged to save a lot, but I also spent a lot at the school book fairs 🙂 When I was 16, I don’t remember what my chores were but it was $16 a week. My parents didn’t want me to have a job during the school year so I could focus on school, but gas money, fun money, and such came out of this too.
Brandye says
This is what we did with our kids. Then they could earn additional money for extra work. Dave Ramsey has good advice for teaching kids to tithe, save, and spend. Oh! And one rule we had at our house was that “found” money goes back to God. The idea being that God knows who lost it and by putting it in the collection plate we are honoring/trusting God and thinking of the person who lost it. By found, I mean extra change in the vending machine, or a dollar on the sidewalk. God really tested us as parents when our 9 year old daughter found a $20 on the sidewalk in front of Academy! But it went in the collection plate the next Sunday.
Denise says
Now mind you my girls are 34 and 30 now but we really never “paid” them to do chores but did give them a weekly allowance which would depend on what they did during the week that was mandatory (make sense)? There’s an almost a 4 year difference between the girls so the chores were a little different. They were always responsible for their rooms, putting laundry away, making sure the dogs had water inside and out (also when they were old enough they were pooper scoopers too). setting the table, clearing the table, filling and empty the dishwasher, If they did not do the things on their mandatory lists by allowance time then they would get less, now if the other one picked up their slack then they would get what wasn’t given to the other one. I feel the responsibility of having chores and taking care of yourself when their younger helped my girls when they went away to college. When they started to date the boys were always impressed that they had to cut the grass on the weekends before they could go out. One would cut and one would poop scoop. When the oldest went away to college and the other one was just starting high school then of course I or their dad had to take over one of the jobs. Chores are healthy for kids.
Lynne says
Hi Shay! Great topic today! We don’t pay for the chores that they are responsible for, picking up their toys, making their bed, setting the table etc. Those are things they contribute to our family because they are part of our family and we all work together. However we have extra chores that they can do, above and beyond that they can earn money for, washing the car, cleaning out the car, scooping up dog poop, taking the dog for a walk etc that they can choose to do for extra money. If you search “kids work for hire” on Pinterest tons of ideas and examples come up. There are different amounts also, which helps if the kids just want a book, they can do a smaller chore but if they’re saving up for something big they can do multiple big chores. Hope this helps ? excited to read about everyone’s ideas!
Molly says
I got an allowance as a child, just a small amount that increased each year. My parents would match any amount that I put into my savings account to encourage me to save. Eventually, I was able to buy a computer out of my savings account when I was in middle school. He also allowed me to help choose the charity that we donated to when the time came to donate, which made me feel a part of it and gave me a sense of contributing in a meaningful way. (When I got gifts or money from other people, I was also expected to write a thank you note before I was allowed to use the gift. I never forget a thank you note even to this day! This is definitely something I would do with my own kids. I think it’s disgraceful when my nieces and nephews don’t thank me for their birthday gifts etc.)
jamie says
LOVE the idea of matching the savings. i may start that genius idea!
Sheaffer Sims says
Oh yeah, I’m for sure coming back to read all the suggestions. Parenting is tough, and we all just want to get it right!
Amy Heinl says
My son is now 23 but when he was your kids age, he earned allowance for the extra things as well.but not for his personal responsibility items. I gave him 3 jars and his allowance was split into thirds. 1/3 was for tithe/helping others( I left that choice to him…so.etimes it went to church and sometimes he wanted to do something in service to other such as buying food for a food bank, donating and participating in runs/walks for certain charities. I didn’t care really which he chose other than it couldn’t be used for himsf. The second third was for savings. I opened his own account at our local credit union and once a month we would take that in and he would deposit it in his own account. He just saved the money just as savings or for something big he really wanted. The last third was his “happy money” and he was free to spend it on whatever he wanted…sometimes.as it was something silly…sometimes for things not so silly but when it was gone it was gone into the following weeks allowances. It worked very well. I think you are on the right track.
Molly French says
There are really cool money banks for kids. They are triangular in shape and have 3 sections. One section for save, one section for give, one section for spend. If you give an allowance, give it in one dollar bills so that they have to put some money in each section. It’s up to you how they divide the money at first and then can later be up to them. The give money can be used to take money to church or pooled with siblings and used to buy something to help. I matched my grandson’s give section and we bought dog and cat treats and took them up to the animal shelter. You can buy the banks at Dave Ramsey’s website.
Diane says
This is exactly what I do with my oldest. For his regular responsibilities: cleaning his room, picking up toys, setting and clearing the table, completing homework and emptying garbage cans…he doesn’t earn an allowance. However, if he does those things each week, I give him a dollar for a la carte on Fridays to buy a treat. If he goes beyond that with chores, helping us outside, picking up after his little sister, etc. he can earn money. Like on Saturday, he helped us with spring yard work pretty much all day on Saturday and we gave him $5. He knows the more he helps, the more he can earn. It works out well! Once he earns the money, he typically saves it for bigger purchases he wants to make like a new Lego set.
Lesley McFarland says
What a great topic. My kiddos are 10 and 14 when they were a little bit younger we had a bead system. For every chore I did not want to do…vacuuming dusting, mopping cleaning toilets they got a bead. I paid $1 a bead at the end of the month.
Now it’s just part of life they care take of these things and not get paid. But they have little jobs now that other people pay them for. During the summer they work together and go around the neighborhood and wash dogs. $5 a dog. They pet sit and make things to sell.
I think finding a good balance with your family is best.
Nicole Humphreys says
Hi Shay, we have kids that are 12, 11, 9, and 6….they do not get paid for day to day job’s like laundry, mowing, dog cleanup, trash, etc. They live here after all and are part of the family. We figure our ice cream runs, slushy stops and random things we buy fill that void….and if they go way above and beyond we may pay them, it’s a per situation thing. Love your blog.
Tabitha says
Great topic Shay! The answer is, it doesn’t matter which way you go. Allowance, pay for chores, a blend. This won’t make a long-term difference. Kiddos are extremely observant at every age. It is YOUR spending behavior that matters to your children. Spend foolishly over unnecessary items, you kiddos will do the same. Be frugal, they will learn. If you want to teach a lesson, pick an activity like going to Starbucks. Explain how expensive a single coffee is compared to making it at home – show them the price differences. Let them know it shouldn’t be a daily right, but a treat to buy coffee outside the the home. They’ll learn that lesson in no time.
Mackenzie says
This! I distinctly remember being elementary school age and wanting to stop for an ice cream cone. My mom said something like instead of $3 for one scoop at the ice cream shop, we could get a half gallon at the grocery store and the whole family could have ice exam three nights in a row. Pretty sure the rest of childhood we only asked for ice cream shops when out of town!
We also got a large monthly allowance when teenagers, and used it for everything from movie tickets and eating out with friends to clothing. In June/July my mom would remind us to save half our allowance for back to school clothing shopping (also great to teach that you can get multiple cute old navy t shirts for the price of one at Abercrombie ?)
Joann says
Yes to all of this! Our older kids get big monthly spending money now but they have to learn how to budget. If they want a pair of $150 shoes, they aren’t going to be able to go out much the rest of the month. It’s amazing how things that they had to have when we were paying, isn’t as important now with their money.?
Kathleen says
The majority of the jobs our kids (7&9) do around the house are unpaid (keeping their room clean, emptying the dishwasher, folding their own laundry). They do love to save money and for that they will clean and organize a family closet (Coats, shoes, etc), help with yard work, vacuum the stairs, etc. We give a dollar amount for the job, but honestly if they do a lousy job they do not get the full amount of money. That has been a hard lesson at times but we want to teach a strong work ethic.
Cheryl Blevins says
I have raised four children and Praise God they are all thriving and are wonderful people. Each of my children had chores and their chores increased as they got older. We started young because lets face it most “littles” like to help so I found simple things they could do and they loved it. We want to create an attitude of helping in every area of life. I always felt like because they are blessed to have a family it was part of “growing up” to realize you need to learn to take care of your things and also contribute to the family, unloading dishes, putting away the laundry and folding, you get the idea. I think if you want to continue to allow them chores for money, ask them what they could do to earn “bonus” money for whatever item. I think when you have to work hard for something you do take “ownership” of that item. There is no right or wrong in this. It’s what works for your family.
Stacie Young says
We have five kids that range from 14 to 2. We don’t give allowance for the same reasons that you mentioned,if it’s their responsibility I don’t feel they should be paid to do it. We do pay them for other jobs,like the oldest for babysitting for a few hours while we have date night. Or the younger ones for helping fold and put everyone’s laundry away etc.
Leslie says
I can’t offer any advice on allowances but I do applaud your chalkboard chore chart upstairs and how that is training them to make lists and check off completed tasks. Your summer fun list does that too. I LOVE LISTS!
Kelly Bonner says
I have a 6 year old (& 8 month old) so I’m interested to read the comments too, but I’ll say as a teacher I completely agree with you about things they should do just because they’re a productive member of society. This teaches them responsibility that carries over into other aspects. I also love that you ask them to think about tithing, saving, buying things with their own money like a kindle book.
Tish Ferry says
We do things very similar to the way you are doing them! We have 4 kiddos and they all take care of their own things such as making bed every morning, room clean, putting away dishes, etc. However, they each have chores they get an allowance for doing. Our older kiddos have chores such as vacuuming 3x a week, mowing and weed eating the yard, sweeping and mopping kitchen floor. Our younger ones who are 9 and 11 have chores like emptying all the trashes in the house and putting the barrel to the street on appropriate days, emptying the dishwasher and putting away the clean dishes, cleaning the bathroom mirror (how does it get so messy?!). We started from a young age teaching them to tithe. We paid them allowance on Saturday so they could have their tithe for Sunday. They are always so proud to put their offering in the plate when it comes to them! I think that really helps to teach to tithe with a cheerful heart! Girl, you are on the right path! I’m coming back later today to read more comments! We all need new ideas! Simply Tish
Kati says
Our three kids have always been required to take care of their own personal space and laundry (including washing & drying it) and help with things like dishes and meal prep as part of the family. I keep a running list of paid jobs on the refrigerator so that they can choose what extras they would like to do or not and they know ahead of time how much they can earn for doing those jobs. All in high school and college now with outside jobs and they still look at the jobs list for extra income. This system has worked well since they were in elementary school.
jamie says
i love the running list of jobs on the refrigerator! and i love that your kids still do it for extra cash even though they have jobs! i’m absolutely certain even my 28 year olds would do a few chores from that list for extra cash!
Jennifer says
We do the same. My teens have always had jobs that were just their responsibility to do, but there is a running list of things they can do for extra money. They both have a very strong work ethic now and I think some of it is because of this. They know there are things that you should do just because but if you go above and beyond you are rewarded for it.
Kristi Hume says
This is a tough one! My girls are 12 and 9. We started giving them a certain amount of money on the 1st of each month. They have to “budget” that money. If they spend it all in one day they know they don’t anymore money until the following month. We do make them keep their rooms clean, put up their laundry, etc.. Hope this helps!
Lauren says
We follow the Dave Rampsy financial peace jr program. https://www.daveramsey.com/store/product/financial-peace-junior
We decided which chores our children could earn commission for and which were just apart of being in our family and living under our roof (making beds, doing homework) At the end of the week their commission gets spilt up, 10% giving, 10% saving, and the rest goes into their spend envelop
Megan says
My boys are 13 & 8. My oldest is involved in a sport that requires multiple practices, lessons, tournaments, & league nights a week. When he joined his tournament team and picked up an extra league day we made it clear that it was being paid for with allowance he would have earned ($12/week). We pay for his other league day, all lessons, all practice sessions & all tournaments. We feel that it motivates him to push harder and not goof off that night since he pays for it. We give him the money and make him pass it on. My 8 year old refuses to do stuff outside of the normal required chores so no money for him yet.
Sarah D. says
I feel the exact same about this topic and all that you’re saying. When we were growing up, we just got a set amount each week, but we had set things that were expected of us, like you’re saying. And in addition to our rooms, we usually had to take turns collecting the garbage throughout the house and taking
It to the curb, or mowing the lawn as we got older. But our allowance just was given, I don’t remember ever not receiving it, but I also would have never not done my “chores.” They were just a given. And I think we all understood that you helped around the house when asked. I can’t remember the allowance amount when we were little, but in high school, we each got $20 a week. That was our lunch money as well, but we had the option to pack our own lunch and pocket the money. Looking back, I think that was genius. Same thing applied, we kept our rooms tidy or if the basement needed to be clean, my parents asked us to do it. We had a cleaning lady and had to tidy for her and all that, so it wasn’t extreme, but enough, and we were allowed to be kids. I also think it’s a lot of work for me, as a mom, to come up with new things that I think are acceptable to pay my kids for, manage it and then pay them fairly. My oldest of 4 kids is 8 and we haven’t started an allowance yet, but have been thinking we should. Good luck!
Charlene Knotts Rubini says
Good Morning ☀️ I strongly believe that children should not get paid for completing “regular“ tasks/chores. They are important and capable family members who contribute to the mess of daily living, therefore need to contribute to the maintenance required. Teamwork gets this done over and over again. This builds character and prepares them for adult life. It seems that children who are used to helping on a regular basis complain less about this and in other areas of life. No-one wants an entitled/ spoiled husband, wife or friend. Even people who have hired cleaning help should still be doing most of the household work themselves. I do believe in the ability of children to receive money for necessary tasks that TRULY go above and beyond (not just vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom sink – even though it benefits everyone.) Children do need to appreciate the fruit of their labor and it’s great when they achieve a goal (such as buying certain things with their own money – In my family I pay for many items, they contribute half for many and every once in awhile they pay for the entirety of a item.) This also gives them ownership and pride when donating to a charity of their choice! Speaking of giving to a charity, if we have a lemonade/treats stand or a garage sale half of the profit goes to our favorite charity and the other half pays for a fun family activity. (Fyi- I have 3 girls, 6, 10 and 13 and I also wach my friend’s 4 yr old daughter full-time.) You are doing great Mama! Your love for your children is easily seen!
Stephanie says
We usually use a chore chart during the summer and it includes some educational tasks as well as daily duties plus some extra chores that no one likes-such as weed pulling. The daily tasks are not worth as much as the extra chores. It is up to the child to mark off what they have done each day. At the end of the week, they meet with their dad to tally up their totals. After everything is totaled they put 10% in their “give” jar for church, a portion in their piggy bank to save, and a portion in their wallet which is theirs to spend. You are so right that they will still ask for us to buy them things along the way because it’s easier or they don’t have to dip into their own money. I know that something is really important to them if they take out their own cash.
Jordan Howle says
My parents did this exact way with us, growing up, as well. My husband and I took FPU, with Dave Ramsey, and during the children and money teaching section, he actually taught this same way. My husband and I do not feel the child should be paid an allowance for their daily personal chores. But, we do feel they can get paid for outside chores, feeding the dog, helping others in the house by doing the dishes, dusting, vacuuming, etc. We also teach them to put 10 percent towards tithes, choose what they want to save and put in their piggy bank, and what to spend when they want. They usually end up spending part of what is in their piggy bank for family Christmas gifts and are the saving the half up for when they want something big, in the future.
Kelly Sites says
Hi, Our family doesn’t feel it’s right to pay our kids for things we all should do around the house. We do it as a family- for the good of the family. But we did give them a chance to earn extra money (especially over the summer) for reading books. This worked AWESOME. They made $1 for every chapter book they read all summer long. And we paid extra money for odd jobs around the house like cleaning out my car, weeding, things like that. But as far as getting paid for homework or chores that we all need to do around the house, nope. (Which is what you said, pretty much).
Maggie says
Growing up, our “personal responsibility” chores were treated like a job! If we did them, and did them well, we got paid for the week. If we didn’t do them to our boss’ (Mom’s) satisfaction, we didn’t get paid. I love the extra for things they do for the family!
Jessica Couvutsakis says
My kids are 8 & 6 and have chores to help around the house. They are expected to help as part of the family but we reimburse them through their savings account. They never see that 25. The accounts were set up as money for college, car, electronics, etc. If they want to earn cash, they can pick our chores to help us with. This helps curb their spending because they have to earn and save for it. We also match any money they put in their savings, but they aren’t allowed to withdraw for toys. This works for us but everyone is different. Do what feels right for your kiddos!
D’Ann Haffner says
My kiddos get paid for chores outside of their daily responsibilities. So they don’t get paid for cleaning their room, making their bed, putting their clothes away…but they do get paid for unloading the dishwasher, dusting the living room, steam mopping the bathrooms etc. The funny part is – they need something to be saving for or they don’t like to do the chores they get paid for. So we always try to listen for that moment they say – I want a… and then we channel that into their savings.
Eileen McCullough says
I love this topic and it’s been a big discussion in our house as well as my kids are similar ages. I read a great blog post about this once that suggested having chore charts, and if all chores are checked off at the end of the week, they get paid the $ amount that matches their age. For example, my 10 year old would earn $10. BUT, on payday, they have to put a pre-determined amount aside for tithing and/or donating, for savings, and the rest is for spending. The money they save in the “family bank” earns interest. I really want to start this with my kids this summer. I love all of the things it teaches – responsibility, sense of money, good math skills (percentages, balancing a savings account and adding in interest, etc.). I think instills what should be done with their paychecks long before they get one, so the habits will just be there when the time comes. Financial responsibility is such an important lesson. We also debate between what is considered chores and what is just family responsibility. On a separate note, one summer when I was a kid (maybe middle school?), my mom made a list of jobs (vacuuming the pool, weeding, cleaning a bathroom, etc.) and assigned a $ amount for each job. Each week my sister and I signed up for jobs and my mom kept track of the money we earned. Then, when it was time for school clothes shopping, the amount we earned was the amount we got to spend. I never forgot that, so obviously the value and understanding of money, and the hard work needed to earn money, was a great lesson!
Nicole says
I’m going to be the odd one out here, but we do not pay our kids allowance at all
They “ earn” the items they want by getting good grades, being responsible & kind, the “ chores” they have are all things that they should pitch in and do because we all share this household work
Now…. that being said my older two (15&13) have jobs outside the home… my oldest works very part time (12 hours) a week at a pizza place and my second oldest mows lawn/yard work for neighbors and they both share pet sitting for another neighbor … that money they can use as they choose ( same with any Birthday/holiday $)
This was how I was brought up, and I also started “working “ ( babysitting/pet sitting) at 12 years old and did the same with money I earned… I saved up for the items that were extra “ wants”
Elaine says
We have chores are kids are expected to do…. then we have chores that I’ll ask them to do and they’ll get paid for them. Like, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning toilets, laundry. But, we also have a huge chore chart with envelopes. Each envelope has a chore written on it and an amount of money inside. Anytime they want to help and earn money, they can choose one chore and receive the money that’s in the envelope.
Tara G. says
We give a small weekly allowance which covers personal responsibilitis & we give extra for substantial labor contributions to other projects/chores. We purchased those hand-held size plastic coupon files at the dollar store & labeled them for tithe/giving, saving, spending. I’m always amazed at how generous my children are (we leave ministry catalogs & reports out for them to read & they’ll come ask us to facilitate donations). We also have savings accounts in their names to which they can deposit earnings.
In general, we’ve tried to keep our “system” VERY simple- for the parents’ sanity! 🙂
We have enjoyed Larry Burkett’s ministry, Crown Financial. He wrote Money Matters for Kids. This is a recording link of his thoughts: https://www.crown.org/radio/teaching-children-to-be-good-money-managers-larry-burkett-2/
My bil works for Ron Blue & they have great resources to read as well. And, of course, Dave Ramsey.
Tara G. says
☆that should read does NOT cover personal responsibilities (as a contributing famity member). It’s mainly given for money management learning. And can be lost.
Cindy says
My kiddos are 23, 21, 18 and 12 so I’ll share what has seemed to work out well for us :-). I was of the same mindset as you re: allowance. In a big family, it is important that everyone is helping to keep the household running because there was/is no way I could cover all the chores of a family our size without going crazy. I got some heat about this from well meaning friends, but we never gave a financial allowance. The upside of this was my kids started “looking for work” at a young age. They were the neighborhood entrepreneurs, coming up with creative and honest ways to make money. Our agreement was 50% of what they earned went to savings for college/first car and the other 50% was theirs to spend any way they saw fit. The good thing about approaching money this way was/is they were able to learn about the value of money very early on. It’s much better to learn about buyer’s remorse with a $10 purchase as a 12 year old than with thousands of dollars as a young adult. I’m not saying my kiddos loved this approach all the time (especially as teenagers when their friends seemed to have unlimited funds), but my oldest kids now tell me how important this lesson was for them to learn at an early age. Hope this doesn’t sound too preachy, but it might be something to try 🙂
Amy says
We do the same as you (and many commenters)!
When our now-11 year old was 8 she started earning allowance for 3 chores. She got $3. We encouraged her to save a dollar, tithe a dollar, and have a dollar to spend. (I know that doesn’t follow tithing 10% or saving 10%, but it was easiest to put a dollar in each category.) Since then every year on her birthday she gets a new “privilege” (later bed time, things like that) and a new responsibility (usually adding another chore), and her allowance increases by $1 to reflect that new responsibility. So now at 11 she gets $6 (and now saves $1 and tithes $1 and has $4 to spend).
We don’t pay her for everything we ask her to do around the house, because like you said, she is a member of our family and we’re all on the same team. I feel like if you nickel and dime every chore kids automatically ask for money every time you ask them to help out. But I think it’s also encouraging to them to see a reward for their work (because a clean bedroom may not seem like enough of a reward in and of itself when you’re a kid!)
The last thing is if she does want to earn some extra money she can ask for extra chores. Sometimes she’s saving for something and wants to earn extra money. Sometimes she wants to capitalize on knowing there’s a lot to be done. For example, she asked if she could clean the bathrooms before my 2 year old’s birthday party last week to make some extra money. It was a huge help to me and she was able to sieze the opportunity to make a little extr!
Gabi Barrick says
I struggled with this for a long time for the same reasons you listed. (We are big Dave Ramsey followers, and I wanted them to learn to handle money but also have responsibilities that they completed simply because they are part of our household.) It’s just this year that I feel like we’ve finally gotten the hang of it. My kiddos are 7, 9, and the oldest is almost 12. I put a chore chart up on the fridge each week and at the top is their “family chores” that they are supposed to do because they live here for free and need to help a sister out. LOL. This includes making their bed, keeping their rooms and playroom tidy, emptying the dishwasher, taking care of the dog, and of course, doing their homework. Beyond that, each child has a list of chores with dollar amounts assigned. At the end of the week, they only get paid for the individual things they’ve done. (Each child’s weekly list adds up to 50 cents times their age if they complete everything.) The 12 year old’s chores are: poop scoop yard, clean guest room & kids’ bathroom toilets, take out trash as needed. For the 9 year old: wipe down the kids’ bathroom sinks/counter, vacuum the living room, empty out the minivan once a week of trash and personal items left behind, take out recycling as needed. For the 7 year old: clean the kids’ bathroom mirror, dust the living room, and vacuum under the kitchen table after dinner as needed. Each kiddo also gets paid to do their own laundry start to finish – even the 7 year old (and he’s been doing it for at least a year.) I’ve taught them how to sort, how much soap/softener to add, and which settings to use. I pay them once a week for their chores and we split up the payment into give/save/spend jars. A big game changer for me was getting a locked cash box and filling it with small bills and change so that I had the right denominations of money to hand out on payday. I replenish it once a month. I also printed out 6 months worth of chore charts so we always have a new one ready to go. It’s been fun watching them get excited about earning their money and also to make saving goals. We’ve opened a special savings account for the oldest and have told him that we will match every dollar he puts in it to save for a car (another Dave Ramsey idea) so he is MOTIVATED. Also, my heart swelled this spring when my big guy, on his own, increased his “give” percentage to contribute to our church’s campaign to build a student center. It has taken some organization on our part, and some re-adjusting of our budget to accommodate this new expense, but it has really been worth it!
Erin Port says
We don’t do allowance but when I got into late middle school and wanted all the things. I had a monthly clothing and fun money budget. That meant if I wanted to get ice cream with friends or buy that more expensive pair of jeans, I had to use my allocated budget to do so. We do chores at our house but we don’t pay them because it’s just part of being in the family, however, I like giving them the option to earn money by doing extra!
Brooke Witt says
You should check out Financial Peace Jr! It teaches about some jobs being done because you’re part of the family, others earn you commission. It also teaches about giving, saving, and spending. It’s a great way for kids to learn that money comes from work and how to use it once you work for it.
Tamara R. says
Wow it is only 7 am (EDT) and already so many great suggestions! I agree with most of the comments – have some personal responsibilities and some chores they can do to earn money. We added unloading the dishwasher this year as a personal responsibility (since they are 7 and 10 and they can handle it easily without breaking anything!) and it has been such a great help. Also, if they create a mess on the floor during a meal, they have to sweep/mop/wipe it up. Game.changer. :).
Annette says
Ooh, good topic. And definitely multiple ways to approach. We have a 22 and 18 year old and when they were in elementary school we gave them a set “allowance” each week to teach them about saving, spending, tithes/offerings (the amount increased as they got older). They had chores, but they weren’t paid for them. Then once they were old enough we encouraged them to start making money-like pet sitting etc. Have a great day!
Elizabeth Feldpausch says
I was going to say exactly what you ended up saying! Personal responsibilities don’t deserve payment. Extra effort/extra work absolutely does. They are too young to go out and earn it for themselves somewhere else but should definitely be learning how to save and what to spend. Growing up we were always given allowance (I’m not really sure why! Haha) but once we got into high school and of working age my dad gave us $10 a week and that was our lunch money. We were old enough to have a job so he wasn’t going to give us an allowance but if we wanted to make our lunch for school everyday we had $10 to keep!
Lindsey says
I have an 8 yr old boy, and 4 yr old girl. My older one has the garmin watch and we love it! He has normal chores every day that are small. For example, pulling up the trash can, cleaning up the playroom, and even dusting his room and cleaning parts of his bathroom. I really wanted him to learn how to do basic cleaning so that it is a normal part of his routine when he gets older. None of his chores take more than 5-10min each day. He gets paid a small amount each Saturday each week for completing these. All of the chores pop up on his watch everyday, and he checks them off. He has spend, tithe, save jars in his room that he keeps his money in. If he wants money, we have worked out additional chores to earn coins on his watch. One of his rewards is to cash in coins for $10. This has been a great way for him to learn how to manage his coins. I can’t wait to see everyone’s suggestions!
Cheri says
I agree with you on the fact of making their bed, putting “their” clothes away, putting “their” dishes in the dishwasher and taking care of “their” toys are things they should do without getting paid because they are a member of your household and as a member they should do these things. Other things like taking care of a siblings clothes, toys, dusting, emptying the dishwasher, help clean the car, weed etc: should be paid and each item has a certain $$$ value. A friend of mine went so far as to pay her children in dimes, gave them all the money at the beginning of the week (but they couldn’t spend any of it yet) and took a dime away each time they didn’t do something or had to be told twice and they were left with what was left to spend, save or tithe. It showed them that they didn’t get if they didn’t do. You can always keep track if they do more than they should and give a bonus like once a quarter.
jamie says
this is such a great topic of discussion! i love all the ideas and thoughts into this exact topic by one of my favorite inspirational bloggers:
http://www.71toes.com/2012/11/a-money-system-that-works.html?m=1
with that being said, we don’t pay our 14yo for normal responsibility things {room, laundry, dishes}. but we do give him money for swiffering, mopping, and any odd jobs we think of. we do have a {laminated HA!} chore list that he is supposed to complete on saturday mornings but if i’m honest, that rarely happens. what i love about shawni {link above} is that she is super real: sometimes we just don’t do it.
we also started paying him last year for his grades. he’s an 8th grader currently. i never did this with my older kids {now 28, 28, 22} but i absolutely love the thought that school is my son’s job. i know some people gasp at that thought but the more i thought about it the more i loved the idea.
Elizabeth says
When I was growing up, regular tasks were just expected and not paid (making the bed, setting the table, clearing the table, homework, reading, etc.) but extra tasks were paid. One interesting example was babysitting: I got paid to babysit my younger sister when my parents were going out to dinner together; they would ask me in advance when I wanted to do it, and we would all put it on our calendars and they’d pay me afterwards. However, if my mom was just running out to the store, I wasn’t paid to stay home and watch my sister for just a little bit of time; it was just expected. Your kids are a little young for this, but could be relevant in a couple of years.
Also – my mom also had a policy that she never said “no” to books or art supplies; if we wanted a new toy or game, we either had to wait until a gift-giving holiday to ask for it, or buy it ourselves, but if we wanted a new book or new paper/markers/pens, she would always buy them for us to encourage creativity. I still think that was pretty brilliant!
Dawn says
I’m so glad you blogged about this today! My older two are around the same age as your older two and I told my husband we need to start chores,(and like you said, separating what a chore is vs what’s normal responsibilities of being a part of our family) with our girls to earn money and learn the value of a dollar. Can’t wait to read all the suggestions!
Kristina says
We never were paid for helping around the house, for personal chores or ones that benefited the entire house. Instead at the end of the trimester we would get paid based on our report cards. The sums were larger but we worked hard all trimester to make good grades so we could get a preagreed upon amount. There were different levels based on numbers of As and Bs we received. I knew I had to do my responsibilities at home as part of a family and with school it motivated me to keep my eye on the prize and jobs are often based on performance not just showing up so I think it helped to teach that.
Narci Dreffs says
Great question!! Our kids don’t earn money for their chores around the house, but they can earn money or privileges for things outside their normal responsibilities. 🙂
Lori says
That is a tough issue. I don’t think kids should be paid for making their beds or cleaning their rooms. Those are things they should have to do. I didn’t get an allowance growing up but I would help clean the house so my mom would have more time to do things with us. That meant more to me than money because my mom worked. I was 12 when I started doing that. I did not give my children an allowance because they were expected to take care of their personal space. As a teacher I have found that too many kids today feel entitled.
LaRae Davenport says
Hey shay! Great topic! I think yall are doing an awesome job with your kids. I’d say having them know they’re part of your family and that requires a certain level of responsibility could only help them, not harm them! 🙂 our kiddos are still little, so I don’t have much to help in that way, just wanted to encourage you and say it seems you’re doing great! I’ll be reading this in a couple years for more tips, though! Haha Happy {early} Mother’s Day!
Taylor says
Awesome idea from one of my students’ parents. Every week they got paid “their age” (so the girl was 8, and she got $8 per week). She did this with her older kids when they were teenagers and that was it for the money she gave them (they had to get a job at 16 unless they played a sport). This was money they got when expectations were met, but it wasn’t tied to chores. She said it was the best when her kids got older and started going to Starbucks and what not.
Michelle says
As a parent of older kids, I think earning an allowance is invaluable. Doing specified jobs that help the family and then earning “income” which they need to budget for expenses teach life long money management. Out of the income earned, they learn to budget for paid lunches at school, gas, and extra “splurges” that we don’t cover. My son has a actual summer job now. We ask that half of the check is placed into a savings account, and the other half covers needs (gas) and wants (sneakers) haha. It’s been working well. It is a constantly evolving process though!
Cindy says
My kids are older now, but if they were younger, an idea would be to keep an itemized daily chart and certain things would earn an allowance, some would not, but at the end of the month, they get a “bonus” for a completed chart, etc. Because bonuses happen in real life based on performance of your job. Some employers even have incentives for perfect attendance, etc. So maybe if they knew they weren’t getting paid to make the bed or whatever chore you decide isn’t paid, they might be more apt to work diligently at the list if they knew a bonus was in the future.
Kathleen Latham says
I don’t have older kids so I’m speaking from how my parents did it with my sisters & I! We did not get paid for chores. There were certain days we “cleaned the house” and our chores had to be done before we could do anything else. My chores growing up were to dust and clean the glass. We obviously had other things daily like make bed, clean your room, etc. but we never got paid for them. I’m not sure how we will do it with our kids but I kinda like where your mind is going with paying for the “other stuff”. Not paying for stuff you should already be done (cleaning room,
Making bed, putting away own laundry, doing homework), but paying for things they are doing for the household as a whole! I do think earning money and figuring out how to spend it is such a good life lesson and really teaches kids the value of money and how to not be entitled. You’re doing a great job!!!
Christina Clark says
Growing up there were 4 of us. We never got an allowance. We had to clean our rooms make beds all before going to school every morning or we were grounded. My brother had to sweep every night after dinner and take out trash. Us girls loaded the dish washer washed pots and pans and had to dry and put away and also clean bathrooms. I also had to empty ice cube trays in freezer. ( i will always have an ice maker!!). Used to get grounded for that ALl the time. Parents were really strict that you are apart of family and this is your job to help out. When we asked about an allowance they said if they gave us one then they wouldn’t pay/buy us anything and that money would have to come from that. We figured we were ahead by not asking for an allowance as we were always going to movies drama trips etc which cost way more then what we would have received in an allowance
Claire Cozad says
We love Dave Ramsey Jr for our 7 year old, though we started a modified version when she was 5. One thing that we have added is that she must tithe and save first, the remainder she gets to spend. We pay her 25cents per chore she completes. The first dollar goes to tithing and the next two dollars go to save. Anything above and beyond she can spend. She selects ahead of time what she wants to spend her money on, rather than aimlessly walking up and down the aisles of a store looking for something because money burns a hole in her pocket. I also have a graph where she colors in for each dollar she has to spend, next to a picture of the item she selected.
Stacy H says
Were a work in progress on this too. For me, I’m not paying them to help me around the house. It’s their responsibility as folks that live here. They have to clean whatever I ask them to clean bc we don’t want to live in filth.
And I’ve had kids say when asked to help … “well will you pay me?” And I struggle with that. All our effort doesn’t receive monetary rewards.
That said, like you we have chores that can earn money – mostly yard work. But we’re evolving. My oldest is 8 so I’ll need a more intentional plan. Right now he has his own birthday and tooth fairy money.
Mother Henn says
Gosh, what a great topic!!! I agree with your (and many other commenters’) philosophy that our kids shouldn’t get paid for doing the basics since they’re a part of the family and should contribute. Beyond that, we have established chore charts and “warm fuzzy” jars and allowances and such, but my problem is being consistent and sticking to it. I end up doing things myself because they don’t (or can’t) do it as good as I want it done (I know…I’m a little ocd and I’m not proud of that because I realize I’m not teaching them anything by taking over or not sticking to the plan). So, I’m looking forward to reading all the comments and hoping for a good kick in the rear to set something up we can stick to. Thanks for opening up the dialogue.
Julie says
I completely relate! Need to work on this, big time. I’m going to use this blog post to at least open some dialogue with my kids (who are on the older side), so no time to waste!
Joann says
My kids are high school/college age. They give 10% to church, save 40% and they can spend 50%.
They don’t get paid for personal stuff- rooms, beds, laundry.
They used to get a small allowance for their weekly chores- emptying dishwasher, taking care of the dog, etc.
If they wanted to make extra money, I would put dollar bills in a white envelope. On the envelope, I would write the chore and the dollar amount inside. Like, straightening out our game closet, $2. Pulling weeds in the front yard, $5. Then when they were done with that job, they would get the cash.
Lauren Austin says
Good topic! We give allowance for the “extras” and the “above and beyond” otherwise we feel like we are raising entitled children who expect to get paid for doing the basics and just being a part of society. They have to make their beds daily, pick up their room/toys, put up their laundry, etc for no pay just because they are a living, breathing member of our family. They have gotten so creative with the “above and beyond” ways to earn money which has allowed for creativity and fun!! I think it teaches a good work ethic as well!! 🙂
Jessica Campbell says
I have four kids. My oldest is 19 and she is in college full time but is living at home and then I have a 14 year old and twins who are 13. From a very early age I did my best to instill in them that we do things around the house because we care about our things and we are very fortunate to have what we do so we should take care of them. I don’t get paid to wash my dishes so why do they need to be paid? I do however provide them with a cell phone, money to go out to eat with friends, take them to movies, run them all over for all the things, not because they are entitled but because they respect our home and our rules. And, they know if they need or want something, chances are they will get it as long as they have done their part of being responsible at home and school. Now-I have been known to pay them if they want to help with mowing or pulling weeds from the flower bed but for the most part, we all have our certain chores that we are responsible for every day and we do that so that each learns how to take care of the things that God has given us.
Melinda says
I have 2 15 year olds and a 12 year old. We have never paid for chores or given an allowance. My kids are expected to not only do their own laundry from start to finish (started this at age 9), clean their rooms, etc, but they also help with anything and everything inside and outside. That being said, we live on a working Kansas farm. They help on the farm a lot and they do get paid for that (an hourly wage based on age and experience). At age 13, they are responsible for buying all of their own clothes, but we don’t mandate a certain percentage split for savings, tithing, or spending. I know of a family whose 8 year old started his own lawncare business to earn money. When my 15 year old daughter was 6, she started a bakery (selling homemade yeast rolls) to earn money for an iPod. I personally do not think kids should get paid for helping around the house 🙂
Andrea says
I totally totally agree with what you are doing and this is what we will do when our kids are a little older. They need to make their bed every day now and I’m not paying them for contributing to our family!!
Jen says
My husband and I implemented Dave Ramey and Rachel Cruze’s methods, as outlined in the book, Smart Money, Smart Kids. They have certain chores for which they’re paid (unloading the dishwasher, watering plants, etc) and other household jobs they don’t earn commissions for (making beds, cleaning room), but simply do because they’re a member of the family. Each paid job has an associated wage – so each time my 4 year old waters the plants, she earns $0.50, which she checks off on her laminated chore chart. At the end of 2 weeks, they each get paid commissions. My older daughter (7) has 3 envelopes – give, save, and spend. It’s worked so well for our family. My daughters associate earning with working, building the foundation that will serve them well as adults. Good luck!
LeeAnn says
All the regular chores at home (laundry, mowing, dog cleanup) are unpaid. The above and beyond chores, and some that are much more physical (cleaning out garage, shed, post winter yard cleanup), we will sometimes pay them. We do however pay for reading! We even have little competitions with a money prize. It definitely motivates them. I saw another comment about being a role model about spending, I completely agree. My kids will check to see if something is on sale before spending or will take time to think about it before buying (they’re much more careful about buying when it’s thier own money and not just mom buying for them). Can’t wait to read your thoughts after this post! Love the blog
Debi Entzminger says
When our son (now 37) was the age of your kiddos we began giving him an allowance to teach money management and instill some independence. Since our household budget included an amount that my husband and I received weekly for discretionary use we included our son in that ‘line item’. We taught that his allowance was never payment for weekly chores because all of us had expectations to keep our household running smoothly and his responsibilities were as important as ours. We did pay for help with larger projects that were not weekly chores. We also taught tithing, savings and wise spending. There were many times he asked for something special and we agreed to match his savings in order for him to purchase said item. We never wanted him to feel paid for being a contributing member of the family but we felt strongly that he needed his own money in order to teach money management. This worked well for our family. Blessings to you!
Amanda Wilson says
Ok so can we talk how much money??? As of now we have a rotating chore chart that works really well. They do NOT get paid for their personal jobs that need to get done in order to function. The rotating chore chart is weekly so one week dishes, next week vacuum, next week odd jobs (dusting, recycling, laundry helper) My 3 big kids alternate through those 3 chore. But how much should I be paying? I pay a dollar a day right now so that every day they have to be accountable. However, my almost 13 year old spends his money the minute he earns it….while my 8 year old has $200 saved up…. I am totally screwing this up someone sort me out!!
Katlin says
Dave Ramsey!!!! So we do this with my 5 year old and he already gets it. They have a great kit you can buy for each kid that they get a bank that is split between GIVE SAVE SPEND as well as envelopes for when they are traveling with their money. It comes with a chore chart as well and this kiddos are paid on commission. This teaches the value of hard work and if you don’t work you don’t get paid. Now my son has responsibilities that he has because he is a part of our family for example he makes his bed, picks up is dirty clothes, helps set and clear the table and is in charge of taking care of his backpack and shoes/coat at the end of the day. As he gets older he will get more difficult chores that will pay him commission but at 5 we wanted to be realistic as to what he could do.His chores for commission right now are putting away his laundry, helping clean the bathroom, picking up his toy room and swiffering the kitchen floor. Each chore complete earns him a dollar. His work gets inspected and then we pay him once a week. We also read the books that come with the kit which is helpful because it talks about saving, patience with money, and how giving can be better than spending the money on yourself!
Danielle S says
I don’t think you are doing anything wrong! I love the fact that they have responsibilities they don’t get paid for. They need to know you don’t get paid for your personal responsibilities like homework, cleaning your room, etc. I think that’s valuable, they aren’t going to get paid for everything in life. I do think the watering the plants, and other jobs helping other members of the family is fair to get an allowance. It’s a great idea, I would just say make a list of the chores that they will get paid on for helping the family so it’s clear. You don’t want them asking you, “do I get an allowance? Or how much do I get?” Every time you ask them to help out around the house. They also need to do things for y’all and know they don’t always get money for that.
Lauren D says
I don’t have kids but if I did, I think I would have all the basic stuff – cleaning room, making bed, helping clean up dinner, put laundry away, etc as the “you have to do this without allowance.” Then if they do those things, it makes them “eligible” to do other chores for money. That way they can’t say, “You owe me five dollars for vacuuming the house” if they aren’t doing the basic things as well.
Clair says
We dont pay our kids (4, 6, 8) for any chores because they are family members – same as their parents and they are able to clean their rooms, empty the dishwasher, make their beds, take care of the garbage,water the plants etc. Each child has different tasks (not just the ones in their personal responsibilty) and has to take care of them.
They get a weekly allowance sunday night and if they dont get their chores done they dont get their usual allowance.
This might sound strict but the kids are family members and I think they shouldnt get paid for things their parents do for free.
When they really want to bye something more expensive and need more money we pay them for bigger chores like car washing and stuff like that or tell them they have to wait until their birthday or for christmas..
And of course it all depends on how much they have to do with sports, school and other hobbys. But I think kids shouldnt get paid for homework or reading since these are things that just have to be done and reading should be fun and shouldnt feel like a job – same with homework: if we pay for homework, do we have to pay them to go to school aswell? 😉
Abigail Carter says
Great post! We do chores/jobs with my 4 yr old son, Dane. “Chores” are things you don’t get paid for – you just have to do it because that is how a family runs. Ex – I don’t get paid for loading the dishwasher every night. So, making your bed, taking the dog out, etc are chores. “Jobs” are things we get paid for – just like adults! So, he has extra jobs that he does that he will get paid for if he completes them. This way is so easy to understand and we like it!
Sarah Henderson says
Shay, you must add Cleaning House: A Mom’s 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement to your reading list! The author has 5 children and chronicles her efforts to teach them a great work ethic through helping around the house. Spoiler: she does use money as a motivator for helping around the house.
Allison Ferrell says
WOW!! Lots of awesome comments and it’s only 7:05! We were paid for chores growing up, outside our normal responsibilities just like you are saying. If I picked a full bag of weeds, I got a certain amount of money. I did not get money for folding and putting laundry away for the household, keeping a room clean, etc. I think what you’re doing sounds spot on! I’ll be starting soon, my kids are almost 6 and 4. I cannot wait to really teach them about money! I am a 3rd grade teacher and all my students know our Financial Literacy Unit is one of my FAVS! Also a huge Dave Ramsey fan! Great post!
Pam Danckaert says
You are spot on sweet Shay! You are certainly not going to screw up those darling kiddos. We too never pay an allowance for basic chores that just come along with being a responsible member of the family/household. We also don’t pay if they don’t follow through or slack off. It’s important to extend grace though as well during busy weeks with Sports or School Tests, etc.
We have a Money Management class for our Third Graders at our Church (2 Class Sessions) They use the Dave Ramsey Kit as a Guide. Great principles: Save, Spend, Tithe.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1937077853/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525780470&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=dave+ramsey+kids&dpPl=1&dpID=51sWUHSmN7L&ref=plSrch
Another Tip I learned in the class…Wage = School Grade. So our Third Grader earns $3 / Week.
Sarah says
We always had our “rent” chores and our “paycheck” chores. Rent was what you did because you lived there and mom took care of you (making your bed, dishes away, cleaning up your mess, etc), and Paycheck chores were extra things that you volunteered to do. These included other people’s laundry (we all did our own starting at 12), raking leaves or helping dad with yard work, vacuuming, scrubbing a bathroom, or bigger tasks. Then every 2 weeks on Sunday we got our “paycheck” and it was the number of dollars for our age (8 year old, $8). My parents matched it in a savings account for us. It worked really well because as we got older we understood how getting a job worked and budgeting for that time and mom/dad didn’t feel like an atm after every chore. And the age $$ is great because a 12 year old probably does more than a 5 year old and has more he/she wants to spend it on without leaving the value of a chore to ambiguity. We also graduated high school with those savings accounts which was more than any friends had. Hope that helps!
Leigh says
Our kids are still young but we have had this conversation because my sister-in-law doesn’t believe in paying allowance and has her 6 year old doing way more chores then I would expect a child to have to do after being at school, after school activities and doing homework because “he is part of the household and needs to contribute.” My husband and I grew up very differently with chores (him doing tons like my nephew and me doing not a lot) so we decided we won’t pay for things that are “theirs” like making bed, cleaning up room/toys they played with, doing homework, etc because those are theirs and they need some responsibility. We do plan on paying for anything above and beyond that – sweeping, vacuuming, cleaning up other areas of the house, setting table, dishes, etc. We plan on doing a paid chore chart I saw on Pinterest where they can pick and choose what they want to do and how much they’ll get paid for each chore is already planned out. We have 3 boys close in age so we might end up giving some bonus money if they do their responsibilities without being asked consistently too. We plan on having them have different banks where they will tithe, save, spend. I think learning the value of money and saving for bigger things and donating money is a great lesson that can be instilled very early on.
Katie A says
I already commented on Facebook BUT I’m regards to them asking for a book on their kindle o wanted to give you my opinion. I think it’s great to say you can but it, but I also love saying “you’ve done so awesome at your chores, you can have it as a bonus”. I always structure a “bonus” chart fit attitude, time and effort. Just helped mine not complain endlessly about doing chores ?
Becky says
My girls always had their normal responsibilities, much like those already suggested, that were their portion of pitching in to help the family for which they did not get paid. Seasonally, we always had “extra” chores that they could pick up for money – switching out seasonal clothes in closets/dressers, watering flowers, etc. They also always had allotted amounts of money for buying clothes when needed for seasons – coats, shorts, back to school, etc. But when my kids found something they really wanted, or wanted more money for extra shopping, they then made a plan to earn it. There were always additional chores they could help out with around the house and with the grandparents that could earn them extra money. When they were younger, they would find something they wanted and how much it cost and then start negotiating with people for the jobs they could do to earn the money. They learned not only to figure in things like taxes on cost, but they also learned how to schedule their time as the sooner they wanted something the faster they would have to complete the “jobs” to get it.
Carolyn Vassallo says
I think you’re on the right path! What you described is exactly how I grew up – being responsible for my “own” chores and earning a dollar here and there for broader chores/help around the house. That said, if we were say having a family party, I’d be asked to vacuum the living room/set the table/etc. without being paid (again, because as a family unit everyone has to pitch in!). Such a gray area but it really depends on what works for your family and motivates your kids! My brother for instance could have cared less about an allowance but could earn extra screen time, etc..
P.s. my mom would sometimes even pay me a few dollars for a “blowout” once I got older haha 🙂
Abbie says
I think doing chores should be a regular part of growing up without getting paid. Which it sounds like you are doing with the kids everyday personal responsibilities. Everybody has to help around the house or nothing would ever get done. And speaking from a teacher’s stand point, I think having your children do chores and making sure they help around the house instills in them that behavior for when they are older and are adults. It is a great habit and responsibility to teach!
I grew up doing chores, always carrying dishes over, sweeping the kitchen, cleaning room, helping with laundry etc… and we never got paid. Even in the summer we would get extra chores to do during the week. My mom would leave a list for us for a couple extra chores and we had to complete them by the end of the week. We never got an allowance for any of our chores. I guess because it was just what we had to do and normally you don’t get paid as an adult to clean your house and pick up after yourself or your family. But I also don’t think there is anything wrong with giving them a few extra $ when they do extra chores. There are positives to that as well! Very tricky topic! ha
Alisha Trammell says
I’m pretty big on this stuff…There is something to be said for kids (or even grown ups) to do things because they are expected to. Not because they get something out of it for themselves. I did not get money for things around the house. If there was something that I wanted, I could then ask how I could earn it. But I had to do dishes or clean my room because I was expected to or my parents told me to and therefore I had to listen. However, my parents love to give and love on me and my sisters in forms of gifts and such. So they for sure did things like that. But if there was something we wanted, we worked for it when the time came. When we reached middle school and high school this changed a bit. At that point we were given 20 bucks a week just because. But we still had to do thing things that were expected of us.
Kathy says
First of all, good for you for expecting your children to do chores to help the family! 🙂 We started early with the kids helping — 2 year olds can help and feel good about contributing to the family. We chose not to pay our kids for doing their regular chores, such as being in charge of their own room, helping to clean another room of the house, unloading the dishwasher, folding clothes, setting the table, taking out the trash, etc. etc. However, we did pay them a small amount for doing more unusual jobs around the house: cleaning out the garage, washing windows,
organizing the pantry, wiping down shelves in the refrigerator, and things of that nature.
We didn’t want to tie regular chores to money because then they could choose not to do them!
And we wanted them done because we felt being responsible for your things and your house are necessary life skills.
We have 3 sons and a daughter, now a teenager and other three in their early twenties; I always kept the goal in mind for how I wanted our kids to be as adults and what kind of husbands/wife they would be….would they have grown up used to helping around the house as a normal activity for a young man/woman? Or will their future wives/husband wish we had parented them differently because they are not used to helping around the house??!
I am a stay at home mom, and I didn’t want our sons thinking I, the woman, was responsible for keeping the house and they could live here as in a hotel! Ultimately, whatever you and your husband decide to do for your family is the right decision. The only advice I offer is to keep your end goal in mind: look into the future and think about what kind of young women/young man you are raising and how you hope their attitudes toward household responsibilities will be formed by how you and your husband are raising them.
Ann says
Our 11 yro and 8 yro do weekly chores (put up laundry, empty dishwasher, keep room clean, scoop dog poop, take trash out). They each get $5. Not a lot but enough for them to save up for what they want. It has taught them about money and they really think about whether they want something or not.
K says
Look up faith and finances for kids. A local Dallas couple created the curriculum and they are the sweetest people ever! They’re program starts at 3 and continues till they’re 18 (they even have an adult version!) They have bible verses to go along with everything in their curriculum so not only are they learning good financial practices but the bibilical reason why they’re important!
http://www.faithandfinancesforkids.com
Much like you’ve started doing, they encourage that kids earn an allowance (or income) for being an active responsible member of the family (making their bed, putting away laundry, feeding the dog, etc.) only when they’ve built a good resume for doing those things are they eligible to do chores to earn extra money from doing a non “mandatory” chore (washing a car, cleaning out a closet, etc.)
Paige says
I’m 24 now and I had chores that were unpaid as a kid (cleaning my room, dusting, setting the table, things that are just expected if you’re part of the family) and chores that were paid. Looking back now I feel like I could’ve done more, but as an only child of divorced parents I guess they went easy on me. One thing my dad did that will stick with me forever was he made a shoebox divided into 3 sections – tithe, save, and spend. I then took my money and had to tithe a portion, save a portion, and whatever was leftover I could spend on what I wanted. I remember I wanted a gameboy so bad and my parents made me save up for it. This really helped me learn the value of money. The shoebox system really helped as I got older and took babysitting and tutoring jobs also because I’d already learned how to manage money (to an extent) and didn’t just blow all my earnings on something silly. It sounds like you’re doing a great job!!
erica says
I love the way you’re handling this! I don’t have any kids myself, but growing up, we had no allowance and we’re still expected to take care of our own responsibilities and help out around the house. I feel like I will take a similar approach to yours once we do start our family.
Nikki J says
Our high school age son has the things he is supposed to do just to be a contributing member of the house- load the dishwasher, put away his laundry, keep his room and his bathroom semi picked up. He is always willing to help out when we ask him to do more- vacuum, clean the floors, etc because he knows that I will usually give him money if he asks for it for things like basketball or lacrosse games, out to eat with friends, a movie. A couple of weeks ago we paid him and a friend to help us load and unload some shrubbery we had removed from the yard- best money I’ve ever spent and I had two strong high school kids who made it quick work! He also gets “wallet money” from his grandparents every couple of weeks for keeping his grades up (anything below a B and he gets no money), helping out more at home when my husband travels, and helping out at my parents’ house if they need something. I know the whole “paying for grades” is controversial, but school is his job right now and if he performs poorly then he doesn’t get the money.
Amy says
I believe you are right on point! My granddaddy always told my mother when she asked about getting “paid” that he paid her every she sat down at the table (50’s-60’s era) and that was the same answer she gave me when I asked in the 80’s (along with 1 Thessalonians 3:10 kjv if you don’t work, you don’t eat). But there is now such a generation of entitlement, and it’s not centered in just the middle/upper families either. An entitled young adult is such a sad/disheartening thing to see. Kudos to you for teaching them that work is a part of life. Both paid and unpaid work!
Sarah Grady says
I’m in my 30s now, but growing up my parents had chores for us on “whenever they fell us they need some basis.” My chore was to empty the dishwasher – so anytime it needed some and I was home- I did it. My brother’s was to take the trash out. We also were expected to keep our rooms tidy and complete any other items asked of us. But normally it was just the items above. We received a weekly allowance of our ages. So $8 for an 8 year old. We then were to put 10% in an envelope for tithing, 20% in an envelope for saving (more was always encouraged but 20% required) and then 70% in envelope to do what we wished. We could then decide when we took our tithing amount to church- each week or save it up. Same with the savings- my parents would help us get it to the bank to show us where it went. Doing this all took lots of my dad’s time because he had to have exact change- even more of a challenge in our increasingly cashless society. I will probably do round even bills with my kids who are toddlers now. Love this discussion and can’t wait to read and get ideas for down the road.
Liz says
Wow! There are a lot of comments. People definitely have a lot to say on this topic. Our son is an only child so I feel like we have to work extra hard to make sure he knows that not everything is all about him, done for him, etc. Sometimes with one it’s easy for me to just do everything. I know that is not doing him or his future wife any favors so we do give him an allowance each week for chores. He has specific jobs that are just his. He takes out the trash and recycling each night. He also sets the table and takes care of our cat. He is supposed to keep his bathroom sink wiped out and do a few other things. He falls down on the job a lot but it’s a good reminder to him that he won’t get paid. And I am totally with you, if he wants to buy something I always just ask him if he has enough allowance money to afford it. It definitely makes him stop and think about whether he REALLY wants that item. One thing we tried in the beginning was to make him save 50% of his earnings. Yeah-that hasn’t worked so well. LOL. He’s only eight so I guess we will just keep stressing the importance of saving and hope it sticks one day. Have a great Tuesday!
Julie says
I have three kids aged 8, 10, and 12 and I’m basically on your plan! They all have to do things because they live in a household…make their beds, feed their own pets, clean the bathroom they share, pick up their playroom. But we have what’s called $10 chores where, for example, my youngest cleaned the entire basement mudroom which included vacuuming, dusting and rearranging. Now, we are only doing $10 because he confided he’s saving up to buy his SISTER an echo dot, so sweet! But I think less than $10 would be fine for bigger chores too. This system seems to work. To be honest, they “earn” the most money from the checks they get from grandparents at birthdays!!
Jen says
We used to have a work for hire board where kids could chose jobs for pay. They still had responsibilities that had to be done as well, that were not paid. I found that they would not feel like doing jobs until they had something they wanted to purchase, and then they would try and cram $20 worth of jobs in 2 days! So now we have chore lists that include paid jobs and normal household responsibilities that are not paid. They have a set amount of money each week based on their age. They separate money earned into give, save and spend and money is tracked in the bankaroo app. They can all check their balances and set goals for saving as well. My 13 year old also has to pay her phone bill out of this money, so it’s been a great lesson in budgeting…if she doesn’t plan for the bill, I turn phone off. Also…with the give money, they are allowed to chose where that goes. We tithe and also save for adopt a family at Christmas. My kids love to shop for someone in need with money they earned. It’s a great lesson!
Catherine Mentillo says
Love this post and your thoughts. We do NOT pay our childrens an allowance and they are expected to help around the house. They are a part of our family, we all help keep everything running. We have our ‘chores’ broken down daily and the kids (4, 7,9) all know thier responsibilites for each chore. For example: Floor day everyone picks up the toys/clothes/junk. Trash the older 2 take out the trash, my 4 year old brings the cans to the kitchen from around the house. Everyone empties or loads the dishwaser. We usually start around 3 with chores and thats simple like go put trashcans away after they’ve been emptied or help unload the dryer. Right now we don’t have extra jobs for them, and they actually don’t ask for them or for money. We haven’t had a lot asking for things from them and when we do they usually change thier mind or we remind them they do have thier own money (from birthday/christmas).
Taylor says
Hi Shay! I’m 22 now so I can tell you what my parents did with me. I got $5 per week as an allowance when I was about your kiddos age and when I was in highschool it went up to $10 per week. The tasks I would do for my allowance always usually were things outside of my personal responsibility. I was always expected to make my bed, have my homework done, get my lunch bag out of my backpack when I get home from school etc. I used to get my allowance for sorting the recycling, breaking down the cardboard boxes, my mom cleans the entire house weekly and the basement would be my job to clean, bringing the garbage bins back up from the road once it’s picked up. Stuff like that… hope this helps! 🙂
Julie says
Sounds like we are the same. Pay for some chores and expect some work around the house done for free. One thing that I’ll add though is they need to have a good attitude to get paid. If you complain and crab the whole time, we don’t pay. We feel that as the kids get older and have a job outside of the house, they need to know that you don’t complain when your boss asks to do a task.
Bev says
Very good point, no complaining!
Whitney Kallenbach says
Aren’t we all probably screwing them up in some way?! Joking aside, I agree with you that there are certain things they should just do because they live in the house, but I like the idea of them earning money for extras for things they want to buy on their own. I think its important to learn about saving money and even “making mistakes” with money. Like, I spent $20 on games at the fair and now its gone and I have nothing to show for it. It means a lot more when it is your own money in my opinion….. this being said, my kids are too little for any of this but just rambling on that I think your headed down the right path….
Joanna Purgason says
My kids are 14, 11, and 9. We have tried multiple different systems over the years. They stay so busy during the week with sports, music lessons and homework during the week, that we really just expect them to take care of their personal responsibilities- bed made, room clean, laundry put away, pick after themselves around the house, and help clean up the kitchen after family dinners. When we work on bigger projects around the house, if it is something age appropriate, we expect them to pitch in- yard work, cleaning up garage, washing cars, etc. We in turn give them spending money to go do things they want to do. The only thing they earn money for is A’s on their report card- $10 per A, $100 for straight A’s. Keeps them motivated to keep up their grades! They also get money at holidays from extended family, and we encourage them to save that for things they want to buy. We talk a lot within our family about budgeting for things we want to buy or trips we want to take, we talk about not always having to have the brand name of clothes or shoes when shopping and shop for sales, so I think they still “get” the value of money. The older two are also at an age to start doing jobs for other people to earn money- babysitting, pet sitting, yard work, etc. Maybe its just because my kids are older, but this has worked better for us than allowance or paying per extra job done.
Tricia Mosier says
We have 2 adult children and when they were growing up we did not give them an allowance. Doing daily chores is just part of the privilege of living with a family. We all work together to clean the house, prepare meals, help others when needed. We did have a list on “jobs” than can be done to earn money on the refrigerator. Each job had a dollar figure beside it and they could do any job and earn as much money as they would like each week. Our children now know the value of money and have both bought several cars themselves and our oldest daughter and her husband just bought their first house, all on their own. No relying on mom an dad to meet their adult needs. Teaching our children about money at a young age, such as tithing, saving, giving, and spending has been an invaluable lesson to them. Giving the money just because “Allowance “ is not reality. They should not rely upon the government or others to just “give them money” when they want it or need it. Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. We have taught our children to trust God in all things, but you have to work also. Raising kids is tough! But to see them grow and succeed, is so rewarding. What a blessing when God gave us children.
Whitney Pegram says
I will definitely be back to check out some tips & advice!! I’m struggling with this too because I’m like you, I’m not paying them for something they should be doing!! I also think it’s extremely important for them to make their own money & learn to tithe, save, spend. ??♀️ Great topic!!
Caroline says
Love the idea of chores unpaid and extras paid. I’ll be implementing that!
One thing my parents did was to double my money If I saved it. I babysat ALL the time as a mother’s helper first and then regular babysitter and made a lot of money. They helped me open my first bank account at 12. Their incentive helped me save so much I actually bought my first car when I was 17.
Krystle says
Unloading Dishwasher, clothes put away, setting table are part of living here for free. We have a jar on the counter to draw from (dusting, sweeping, wipe cabinet fronts, etc). During the week there is no TV but if you complete task from jar, you can earn kindle time. 30 min. (They bought kindles with their own money but mom and dad still make the rules). It is a privilege to earn time after your daily requirements plus reading. Additionally we have a running list on fridge of things I notice during the day they could do with a price tag beside each one. They have 3 envelopes to divide their earnings. Currently Age 6 and 8, Started earning at age 3. Christmas and birthday money from relatives is put in savings account at bank so they don’t get hole burning in pocket.
Kelsey Loftus says
I do not have children but my parents did not give us an allowance. We had to do chores like clean our rooms and clean our shared bathroom and assist with other chores around the house when asked. I do wish that they would have taught us about handling our money properly, I didn’t even have a bank account until I was 18!! I definitely think you giving them an allowance for chores outside of what they are already expected to do as long as you teach them how to properly handle their money. Such an important lesson these days!
Lee Ann says
My girls are 11 and 14. Most everything they do around the house they are not paid for. We also have farm animals that are their responsibility. However, they do need money, so I started giving them $20/month as fun money. I found it has really cut down on them asking for things when we’re at the store. They love crafts and often need a new color of paint or yarn when I think what we have at home is just fine. So now they can make the decision on items like that if they want to spend their own money.
If they want to earn more money there are always opportunities. When they ask for jobs, I will list out extra jobs with dollar amounts attached. For example: Pressure wash the front porch and walk – $20. Organize the pantry – $10. But, these are jobs that need to be done so if I get to them first they don’t get paid. It’s even happened where a job is on the list, but if all of the sudden it needs done today, I’ll ask them to do it and they don’t get paid because it’s no longer an “extra” job, it’s now something that needs to be done as part of our family.
For me, I just knew I wasn’t going to want to keep track of jobs/charts and whether or not they were done. This flexible system works great for us.
Allyson says
We do things very similar at our house. We do not pay our older kids for their “personal responsibilites.” I do pay my 5 year old for making her bed. We start them about 3 or 4 years old…easy things for them like making their bed, picking sticks up from the yard, feeding animals, etc. This gets them into a habit of responsibility. Once they hit 1st grade, we no longer pay them for their responsibilities. We keep a dry erase chore chart for each child with chore ideas and the dollar amount they get paid for that chore. At the end of the week, we pay them for what they accomplished during the week. My husband and I follow Dave Ramsey and they have a Dave Ramsey Jr. that is EXCELLENT!! So we have plastic envelopes marked give, save and spend. Once we pay them, they must FIRST put money in give (God loves a giving heart), then they put money in save (this is for college, cars, etc and we match anything they save and deposit in their savings once they get about $50) and then they put the remainder in spend…this is for anything they’re wanting to buy. I do highly recommend the Dave Ramsey Jr material!
Chrissy says
I think what you have going so far is great! We don’t give an allowance though in our house. They get money from relatives for holidays and birthdays throughout the year that they put a portion into savings and a portion into their wallets. If they want something that’s above and beyond, they can decide if it’s worth dipping into their wallets. Our expectations of them are just the basics of living in a household. Clean rooms, beds, bathrooms, putting away laundry, feeding the dog. Extras on the weekend if I need are running the vacuum, emptying dishwasher, watering plants…they don’t expect money, they’re just helping out the household. We believe that their job is getting good grades and being a productive and helpful person. If they want something that they can’t afford from their wallets and it’s not a necessity, they can put it on a wish list. A good report card, a holiday, birthday present, etc. are all times to celebrate/reward them. Whatever works! I definitely like the idea that you’d pay them for things that are above the “your personal responsibility.” I suppose it comes down to: I don’t get paid for making dinners, doing laundry, cleaning up, etc..it’s just my contribution to our family. We all contribute without expecting a monetary reward, but we know the value of a dollar because we don’t just get what we want, when we want it.
Brandi says
We don’t pay for helping and being part of the family responsibilitys, however we pay for every page read in a book! This has really encouraged our oldest to grab a book and read on his own and read to his younger sisters!
DANIELLE K RIGG says
I agree with you. We don’t always give allowance out. I feel that helping around the house, or when asked is teaching them to be kind, respectful and helpful…A part of the family. We love where we live, we work hard to have the nice things we do so we need to treat them well, with respect. We do give allowance when they go above and do things on their own or that they would not usually be asked to do. I feel if we give them allowance for picking up toys, they expect it every time and will only do things for money.
Laura says
Hi Shay! We do faith and finances and it’s terrific! The sweet couple who created the program live in Dallas. Their website is faithandfinances.com They answer all of these questions and more and also the program tracks with your kids all of the way through their senior year of high school. In middle school your kids learn how to have a checking account, balance a checkbook, etc… It’s awesome and I can’t say enough good things. Check it out 🙂
Laura says
Oops, sorry, the website is actually faithandfinancesforkids.com
Nicci says
We had chores like making our beds, cleaning our rooms, putting away laundry, that we didn’t get paid for. We also got paid an allowance equal to our age every 2 weeks (and got a new chore every birthday – didn’t love that haha). This amount was split between 3 containers – spend, save, and college. We weren’t allowed to touch the college pot, if there was a large item we wanted to buy (for me it was a cd player), we could use the whole save money pot or just a part of it, and the spend was ours to do what we wanted with. It was amazing years later seeing how much money was in the college pot and seeing how much money I’d “wasted” on stuff I couldn’t even remember spending my allowance on. My mom also had us give her change using the different pots so that we would learn how to count money and give change without a calculator.
Katie Oman says
I did a post on what my older two kids do (almost 9 and almost 6). We have about 3 chores every day for them to do that they don’t get paid for and then when they go above and beyond (clean our vehicles is a top hit here) they will get paid. I so struggle with the pay or not thing, too. And then I think that they have to learn how to handle money (besides bday money) and that you have to work for your money, not just get it as a gift. You can read my post at the link below!
https://omanmoments.blogspot.com/2018/02/kids-chores.html
Scarlett Spangler says
(Disclaimer: I don’t have kids yet but this is based on my childhood experience and what I’d like to do differently when I do have kids.) My mom was very… well… let’s say OCD, so she didn’t want/let my brother or me touch any dishes/laundry/cleaning materials/etc. She did it all by herself because she wanted it done her way. She also didn’t hold us responsible for making beds, putting laundry away, etc because she had this weird notion that as kids we should not be responsible for chores. Long story short- I wish she had given us chores and provided an allowance accordingly! Chores are your “job” as a child, and kids need to learn that if they don’t do their job then they won’t have money to spend (the real world comes at ya fast!). I grew up to have a strong work ethic- my brother not so much- so I think chores would’ve helped him form that, and getting an allowance for things like putting laundry away, making your bed, finishing homework, etc would have reiterated that. Once you grow up, there’s no one else to put your laundry away or make your bed, so you have to do that anyways; so I don’t think getting an allowance for those things as a kid would change that, I think it just forms good habits (& would’ve helped me form better habits at a young age). But who knows, I could be way off! Just speaking from personal experience. 🙂
Amanda @ That Inspired Chick says
Oh my goodness! So many comments!! I’m going to have to come back and read all these when I get time. We aren’t great on set allowances or set chores. They just do what I ask them to do when I ask them to do it and they know that happy mom is much more willing to fork over money for treats. 😉 We need to get better at an actual allowance though. Can’t wait to read all of these!
That Inspired Chick
Blaine B says
So, my kiddo isn’t chore age yet. But, for what it’s worth…Growing up we were expected to help maintain the household. Nothing crazy but we were responsible to clean rooms, bathrooms, do some laundry, help with meals, dishes, etc. Easy yard work was also included as appropriate. We didn’t get paid for these things because it was part of being a member of the family and taking care of our things. Now, we did have the chance to earn cash by doing things that weren’t normally part of our list of chores. I used to iron my dad’s work shirts for extra cash! 🙂 Once we were a little older and needing spending money and learning about saving and tithing, my parents did give us $5 a month. This wasn’t dependent on doing our chores – that was expected and if we refused, we had other consequences! So, chores were an expectation and allowance was completely separate and not dependent on completion of anything. The allowance amount did increase as we got older and were going and doing more things. If we were ever in “need” of more money because we had something special we wanted or knew we had an outing coming up that we might want more money then whatever my parents felt was needed for that event, we would ask for jobs around the house to earn more money.
Meg says
I also go back and forth on this topic! Growing up, we got a weekly allowance simply to teach us money management skills- tithing, saving, spending, etc. But it was not tied to chores. My parents were clear that we did chores because we live in the house and needed to help. So that’s the camp I fall into with our own kids (9, 6, and 2). I also don’t want them thinking they “get something” whenever they work/help around the house. I don’t like the “whats in it for me” attitude. I want them to see a job and have a willing spirit to pitch in (even if it’s not one of their chores) without the, “am I going to get money for this?” So that’s where we are now- the older kids have items they’re responsible for every day and then on the weekends they get a list of chores they need to either do themselves or pitch in with. And the allowance is totally separate.
Stephanie says
I never got an allowance as a child but I would say I was spoiled and my parents gave me everything I wanted and more. However, I was required to help out around the house because that’s what you do when you live in a house. But, the best thing my parents did for me was requiring that half of any money I ever got (gifts, babysitting, jobs) went into a savings account at the bank. It taught me about saving for sure but also when I grew up and left the house it was a nice little nest egg to start life with.
Lauren Tanner says
I have two little girls (7 and 4) and we started money jars about a year ago. They earn money for doing different things around the house but we also take money away when they are not being respectful, pitching fits, etc. They have gotten to a point where they really don’t want their hard earned money taken away! Recently I have tried switching gears a little on the things that earn them money. Instead of giving money for helping unload the dishwasher I say, “thanks for doing your part”! I think chores and earning money is important for little ones but I want them to know it takes all of us doing our part to make our house a home.
Anna says
I love how you break them up into personal responsibilities and chores where they can earn money. I have a 5 and 7 year old so I think I’ll follow suit…and tweak for the younger two.
Any chance you’d do a blog post on the Kindles? We have two for our oldest but they really only use them for junk games. Would love to know how you got yours reading on them so much and other games and things you have on there.
Mix and Match Mama says
We have Paperwhites, so only books go on there (no games). I mean…they don’t always love reading, but it’s part of their nightly homework for school, so that helps. From my Kindle, I can see what they’re reading and how much they’ve read because we’re all using my Kindle account.
Susie Triplett says
When my two children were young I had 4 envelopes pinned on a bulletin board for each of them. The envelopes were labeled “spending”, “saving”, “church” and “Christmas”. Once a month ( it was a big deal) I gave them them their allowance ( I had the denomination of bills already right) and they divided the money up amongst their envelopes. When they had accumulated enough in their envelopes, we would transfer their money to small savings accounts we had set up (I showed them their statements, etc so they could keep track of them), they put their money in the offering plate at church, and they had money to spend at the beach. But I think the most wonderful thing was when they pulled out that money at Christmas time to buys presents with. They loved that. It was a great system that I really took the time to do with them. What I wish I had done differently was establish more responsible chores than I did. Oh well. Good luck setting up your own systems!
Kristin Smith says
So I saw a friend share about her family on IG last week on this same topic…it was an interesting idea. Not sure it would work for our family but this is what they did. Her husband said that the kids going to school and working hard there was their “job” just like dad had a job. So depending on the age, the child got a certain amount per day for attending school and not having any behavior issues, completing homework etc. So I think the oldest child was in 1st grade and got $1 a day. They were allowed to spend their money only on Saturdays. And all toys etc were purchased with their “earnings.” So at first I guess the kids wanted to go to the Dollar store almost every Saturday and would blow the $$ right away, until they realized the toys were junk and would break easily. Now several of their kids (they have 5) have become savers. One son has over $300 saved. And when mom goes to Walmart on a Tuesday, the kids know they can’t ask for anything because it isn’t Saturday. So they have stopped begging for things everytime they go out to a store. They have a calendar and it shows how much they have accumulated. So they don’t get paid for chores, they are expected to help around the home…but if they do their job of learning/working at school well – they earn that way instead. Interesting idea! I haven’t done this myself, but thought it was a different enough view it might be worth sharing!
Deanna says
While I don’t have older children, I can give you insight on my parents for sure. Growing up, many of my friends had allowances for regular (and irregular) chores around the house and my brother and I always asked our parents for the same. My parents are first-generation Canadians, so their parents were immigrants and being paid for chores was not a thing. So, it wasn’t a thing for my brother and I either! They always told us that cleaning up after ourselves (emptying the dishwasher, cleaning our rooms, folding laundry, putting toys away, shoveling the driveway with them…etc) were our responsibility just like it was theirs. We cleaned up after ourselves not because it was a job that we were paid for, but because it was part of what kept our household moving. Honestly, by the age of 13 both my brother and I organized and washed our own laundry as well as cleaned our own rooms without our parents input. There’s not a single thought in me that wishes my parents paid us – they gave us a great life, paid for our sports teams and athletics, class trips, presents – so I don’t feel that I missed out.
Ultimately, you know your kids better than anybody. Regardless of what method you choose, your children will grow up to be functioning, independent, and responsible adults in society and it’s because you nurtured and cared for them. Not because you weren’t sure if paying them/not paying them was the right choice. Good luck!! It’ll turn out great.
Nicole in WI says
I have three kiddos ages 9, 7 and 7 and I do the split. So there are things you are responsible as a member of the house that isn’t paid – cleaning up after yourself, making your bed, keeping your room clean, homework. Then if you want to earn money there are chores you can do to earn money – cleaning a bathroom, picking up doggie poo, dusting etc. I have a board with clothes pins that lists out the “extra” chores and how much they all earn. I recently downloaded a chore App that I have been thinking of trying out (Mothershp) but I haven’t yet to let you know how good it is.
I have noticed my kids just wanting/asking for too much so we moved to this system for their true wants and to teach them about money. The hard part is not judging what they want to spend the money on. (ipad games for example).
Niki says
Ohhh, such a good topic! So many ways, I’m sure, that I feel it comes down to what works best with your family and kids. We have a few set chores that our boys get paid to do weekly, and kinda time managed, meaning if not completed by 10am Saturday morning you don’t get paid. You can do it anytime before but cut off is that time, if after you still do that chore, you just don’t get paid. Making bed, putting laundry away, dishes, etc. is just mandatory stuff WE all do around here without pay. My older son has gotten some dog jobs around the neighborhood that paid him pretty well (too well if you ask me), it got to a point he was spending the money before he even got paid, so then we made it a rule that our boys did and 80/20 rule…save 80%, spend 20%. A little background, my husband works in the mortgage/real estate industry so coaching our boys on finances now and future is big around here. So, with money being saved for a while, he has given the boys an opportunity to buy in a percentage with the money saved when my husband has bought a rental property. Then every month they get a portion on the rent of that property added back to their savings. Pretty cool to see them grasp that idea, and rewarded. Not for everyone, but I think adding in real world stuff and using their finances now will/can only help them in the future and understand money. We, also, have them read a book, and do a book report or 10 takeaways on the book they have read, picked out by us, if they want a game or something to buy….just another way to have them earn something…but our boys are 5th and 6th grade, so that one is a little bit for older. Just some ideas we use…loved reading other ideas to add.;-)
Amy says
I have 5 kids ranging from 15 to 7. While the allowances are tied to their daily chores, meaning that they must make beds, put away laundry, etc., to get the allowance, they are also expected to do much more around the house simply because they live here. Jobs such as weeding the garden or vacuuming my car are also up for additional pay.
We bought each one of them a coupon folder which is divided into different categories: “whatever money”, goal, long-term savings, tithe, other giving. Money that goes into long-term(which is 30% of their allowance) cannot be touched(this is their car fund) and each year on their birthday, we double what they have saved for that year. “Whatever” money can be spent on anything they want. As hard as it is to watch them make bad decisions with this money sometimes, it’s also invaluable in teaching them to be careful with their money. My husband has to remind me that we want them to make bad decisions with it so they can learn lessons now that would be way more painful if learned when they are older.
My older girls have started babysitting and can earn their own money now, so allowance for them will taper off. They still have to follow the same rules with the money they earn. So far no complaints!
Liz says
Hey…we have ‘just because you’re in this family’ chores and some paid chores. We are in a different stage a little bit because we have teenagers but the same principles apply. They get pocketmoney which I will explain in person but basically we all get a certain amount of money each month to do with what we want. If we want extra or the kids want extra they have to earn it. It’s a way of helping them budget their money so we kinda lump all the paid chores and their cell phones paid for in that money. But James Dobson has great info on children and chores and money. We did what you are doing when ours were small like yours but ours now are older and have a debit card and such and such. Does this make sense? Hope so, if not I can explain more the next time I see you. Also I would look into Dave Ramsey. I think he hasn’t book or blog about kids and money and chores. Just a thought.
Dawn says
This isn’t such a hard topic to tackle as a parent. I was getting tired of buying them something whenever we’d went to the grocery store. Now, I just tell the they have money; or, if they spent it all, that they’ll have to save up again. We have “responsibilities” and “money chores” in our house. Our kids are 7 and almost 10. Responsibilities include feeding and watering the dogs, scooping dog poop, unloading and loading the dish washer, and sorting and folding clothes. Money chores (worth $1 a piece) are dusting all the baseboards (we have a fairly large home), dusting the window sills, cleaning and vacuuming out the Tahoe, organizing (the toys) and vacuuming the garage, vacuuming the couches and UNDER the couches, cleaning their bathroom. I have clothes pins that have a magnet on them to change out their names so they don’t have the same chores each time and the chore is on a piece of paper that is glued to the pin. I can send a picture if you’d like, SUPER easy. And they just hang on a magnetic chalkboard in our kitchen. They have one week to get their chores done.
Kendra Hobbs says
So I will say this…I think whatever you choose to do you have to do what fits best in your heart and for your family. My mother didn’t have extra money to pay me for chores or buy me things that weren’t necessary. I did my own laundry, helped cook meals, made my own bed, and helped around the house. My mom didn’t have to ask me to help around the house, it was just kind of known that because I was part of a family this was what was expected. I guess because I saw how amazing of a job she did managing it all it motivated me to be this way in all I did. Now with that being said I’m not sure what my mother would have done had she had extra money to pay me or give me an allowance. But the things she taught me by not just handing me everything my heart desired really impacted me for the positive. And now that I am an adult with a family and children it has really made me realize how important it is to not put a price on helping your family just because you expect something out of it. It should be something you do because it feels right. I will say this when I did get Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc I appreciated and took care of my things so much more! I am so proud of my mother (ironic I’m saying this and mothers day is Sunday!) She instilled values in me that literally can’t be purchased or learned from a book! I have a 4 and 2 year old. So I’m glad you brought this up because it is def. something I need to start thinking about and putting to heart what I will do in the next few years…looking forward to reading everyone’s comments!
AliJ says
We used to pay for chores and that just never worked for us. Now our daughter gets $10 a week and out of that she has to tithe and she saves the rest. She has things that she is required to do but it is not tied to the $10. If she doesn’t do the things she needs to do, there are other consequences. This has worked much better for us. If she wants to earn extra money, then there are chores she can do that are outside her normal scope of responsibilities.
Melody Byrd says
So, we also started paying an allowance this year (started at beginning of school year). My kids are 10, 8 & 6 next week. They do the assumed duties like making their bed, getting themselves ready in morning/night, etc. But they each have a chart (a cute chore chart I ordered off Zulilly) taped to our pantry door and it has the actual chores listed. I am able to write the chores in and I love that because it has changed some throughout the year. It has columns of days and when they do each chore for that day, the color in the bubble. It’s pretty simple. On Sunday evening, we go over their charts and decide if they get the full $5 for the week or not. Sometimes they only get $2 or $3 but a lot of the time they get the full $5. It is their responsibility to make sure their chart is filled in each day. I help my youngest with this obviously. Some of the chores they have listed are dishes, laundry, cleaning bathroom, cleaning bedroom, picking up playroom, feeding/watering dog, taking out trash, etc. I have their closets set up to where they can easily put their own clothes away, even my 5 YO. When I fold laundry, its laid out in piles in my room and they come pick it up and put it away. They also bring all their dirty clothes to my room and sort it in piles….matching colors is easy! For trash, they collect all the little trash cans in the house and then take all the big bags/boxes out to the dumpster. Now cleaning the bathrooms doesn’t get done to my standards but that’s ok. It’s teaching them how to clean and responsibility……I go back later and touch it up!
We also do pickup time cause I don’t like clutter and sometimes there is just “stuff” all over…..shoes, books, toys, socks…….and we say now its pickup time and we just pick up and put our own things away for like 10 minutes. Its a simple concept but makes a huge difference….usually do this in the evening. I think setting up your home, closets, etc in a way that is easy for them helps with the chores! They all have lots of bins/cubbies in their closets for socks, undies, etc so its easy to just throw it in there!
Sorry that got super long but hope it helps! I’m so guilty of my kids getting pretty much anything they want but want them to grow up knowing that everything costs money, you need to be responsible and take care of your things & in turn be able to help those in need. They do use their earnings for things they want to buy but they also bring it to church each week for giving.
Nicole in WI says
I also have a question in case anyone can weigh in – is anyone divorced and share custody and how do you handle this? We have 50/50 custody and I find that makes it really hard to get consistent with chores. So I am curious if anyone has any tips.
Lisa says
My twins are 31 years old so my answer may be too old school for young moms. I think there are a whole lot of things that we do because we are a part of a family unit and if kids are always paid to do those chores, what happens when they are no longer paid to do them (when they grow up!)?? Our kids received a modest allowance but it was not tied to chores. They were EXPECTED to make up their bed every day and our son helped with the grass and they were expected to help with some of the other daily chores. When they got a little older, we opened a checking account for them (high school) and we tried to teach them to give to the church first, budget money for clothing, etc. Our son wants to save every penny he receives (he would write thank you notes – Dear Aunt Becky, Thank you for the money. I will enjoy saving it! — NOT KIDDING!) Our daughter, on the other hand, loved (and still loves) to spend every single penny.
Brooke says
My oldest is 9 so we are still figuring this out too. We do not pay them for doing things that they are responsible for around the house like homework or chores. No one is going to pay them for doing those things when they are adults so I do not feel like they should be paid for doing them now. They do not get an allowance at this time but they do have money from things like Christmas, birthday, and selling old toys (which I help them do). We will tell them that they will need to spend their own money for some things they want so they have to decide if they really want it and budget. Other times when they ask for something we might explain to them why or why not we are willing to spend money on that. We all contribute as a family so sometimes they will get an little extra from that even if they are not the ones paying for it.
Michelle J. says
So many different ways to handle allowance! We do give our kids an allowance on the first of the month that is equal to their age (12 & 9). Their allowance is not tied to a specific list of chores, but with the expectation that they are a contributing member of the family and will have an active roll in making sure things get done, whether it’s their daily responsibilities or when we give them a task, like emptying the dishwasher or cleaning the bathroom. I see their allowance more as a way to teach them how to spend, save and give rather than being payment for a job.
Keisha Dawson says
I love that there are already so many comments! Clearly this is a topic we all have all the feels about. We attempted to do a weekly allowance. chore chart when our kids were little. I just couldn’t keep up with all of it. I never had the right change/dollars when it came time to do this each week. So… I gave up and we decided that to be apart of our family, it was just expected that you contribute to the household chores, and when they wanted something that wasn’t crazy, we would buy it for them and let them know that they were receiving it for helping around the house. When our oldest started helping with the yard work, we got a little more serious about it. He received $10 for the front and $10 for the back depending on what he did. We’ve always taught give, save spend, so $1 to give, $1 save, $8 to spend, however, I was still so bad about having the $1 bills to do this. I finally found the money trail app and I created these three categories for each of our kiddos. Anytime I need to pay them for something, I just put it into this little app, and it categorizes it for me. They both have their own debit card accounts now, so about once I month, I actually make a deposit to their checking and savings accounts, and they get the cash to give at church or wherever they decide to donate their give money. That app has helped tremendously!
Mindy says
Ok. Dr. Kevin leman has several books that cover this topic at some point.
His allowance methods and teaching are the best I’ve ever seen.
It’s worked for us. Basically kids get a allowance. Separate from chores. They get the allowance every week regardless of anything. A small amount is fine. HOWEVER… if they don’t contribute to the family by doing their chores and responsibilities then the parents don’t punish them. They allow another sibling (or they the parents do it) and they charge the kid for the service.
Johnny didn’t take out the trash? Don’t even mention it to him. Just allow brother Billy to do it and now Johnny owes Billy $1.
That only happened ONCE at our house and once the kid saw their sibling getting their money they shut that down fast.
But also, of they WANT to pay the sibling to do their job then LET THEM. IT STILL teaches them.
There’s a lot more to it but that’s the basics.
Bev says
Go with your gut, Shay. Everything you suggested makes sense… the kids being responsible for their things and getting allowance for going above that. Definitely agree that they think twice about how they spend their own hard earned money.
p.s. I finished The Identicals and you were right, a perfect beach read. Thanks again for the suggestion!
Kristen says
My kids do chores just because they are a part of our family and we all have to work together to make things run smoothly. We use this Faith & Finances for Kids allowance setup. We do the monthly and haven’t started the taxes, etc extras it talks about but I liked that it has a Giving, Saving, Allowance, and Reserves category. The Reserves was the selling point for me because I liked that it taught that you also needed to set aside $ to replace things that wear out or your lose so this doesn’t come entirely from savings. This was a huge help because my daughter was constantly losing or forgetting her things in the dressing room at dance. This helped her to understand she using up funds to replace perfectly good things she didn’t take care of.
http://www.faithandfinancesforkids.com/index.html
Kayla Bruce says
I don’t have kids, but the book Smart Money Smart Kids by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze talks all about this!
Lauren says
We have household expectations. My kids are 6 and almost 4. As a member of the family, you are expected to: clean your room, make your bed, pick up toys, put dishes away after breakfast and dinner, put away backpack and lunchbox, read/so homework. Right now we aren’t paying money for extra things, but if my kindergartener wants to participate in hat day at school (it’s $1) then I need to see him make an effort during the week. I know it’ll change as they get older, but I don’t see them getting paid for expectations, because I want them to learn there are some things we have to do.
Bri says
Can I just say I laughed so hard at “there’s a good chance we’re screwing them all up” ? #relatable
Bronte Reed says
When I was around your kids ages I had a daily chart that I had to complete with the normal responsibilities like make bed/clean room/do homework/practice music instrument as well as an extra chore that I chose around the house like putting away everyone’s laundry/putting dishes away/taking out the trash. Those where all mandatory and had to be completed daily. Once I completed all those tasks, then I was eligible to do extra tasks for “points”. I also could earn “points” for other things like having a good attitude or good grades at school (I should add that there were basic expectations of decent grades, but I had a learning disability which made certain subjects very challenging so if I did extra well on a test or something my parents would reward me). At the end of the week, I could exchange the points for an allowance, or I could pick an activity (usually that cost more than my allowance would cover) like going to the movies/zoo/local museum. If I chose to just get the money, I was always allowed to spend or save it however I wanted (when I was in 6th grade I saved up all my money to buy a cheap cell phone).
Then when I was in high school, there were the same expectations to complete the daily “basics” as well as help out with more things around the house (I believe I had 2-3 instead of the usual 1), but instead of using a point system, my parents would just assign a $ value to different jobs that I could choose to do. Things like running errands would be of more value than things just around the house. I was able to earn a lot more money that way, but all the fun extra activities I wanted to do as a teenage I then had to pay for myself. I remember having a lot of friends who’s parents would just give them money whenever they wanted to go somewhere like out to eat or the mall, and at the time I remember thinking it wasn’t fair. But, now I realize I learned the actual value of having to work for something rather than just get it handed to me.
Corrie says
I always do chores in two categories: family chores (you do because you live here) and bonus chores (things that are above and beyond). I have also always paid in dimes, making it easier to tithe, save and give. For every dollar they earn, ten cents goes in the tithe jar, giving jar and 3 dimes go in the saving jar. The remaining five go in the “here goes” jar for fun.
Bethany says
So this has nothing to do with chores/allowance, but I just saw that the Red Sox and Yankees are going to be playing two games in London next year and I immediately thought of your family. Because Yankees, Red Sox, AND London?! Sounds just like the Shull family to me! 🙂
Erica says
We don’t give allowance for doing household chores because they live here too. If they want to earn some money we’ll give them different jobs to do like vacuum out or wash the cars… Also when it’s warm out they like to set up lemonade stands to earn money!!
Jess says
I love reading all of these suggestions and ideas – we’re navigating this now too. I am curious though – do the families that pay for kids’ “above and beyond” chores also give them an allowance and they can then earn money on top of that? Should allowance money be tied to responsibilities?
Darla says
Hi – My youngest kids are teenagers now. We had 4 like you. Our kids had chores and they had an allowance (and still do), but they weren’t tied together. The allowance was really for our convenience, so we weren’t handing out money all the time, and they could decide what they most wanted to spend it on. The gas for their cars, anything the did with friends, clothes, etc came out of their allowance. They had normal chores around the house – cleaning their rooms, putting away their laundry, doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, as well as any little things I asked them to do that they were expected to do without pay. I’ve also provided other things that I do pay them to do – the things that aren’t the everyday things – such as my daughter cleaned out the pantry and got paid extra for it – my son did all the mulch in the back yard and got paid extra for it. Hope that helps – from someone who has lived your life… 🙂
Victoria says
We also go by the Gave Ramsey plan. Our kids are given a commission, and not an allowance. Which basically means that if they work they get paid for it and if they don’t then they won’t get paid. Just like adults do in the “grown up” world. It has worked really great in helping them understand the value of their money. They each have specific tasks that they have to do on a weekly basis in order to get compensated but they also have what we call “love offerings.” Meaning there are certain things that we do out of love because God calls us serve others. Each child gets paid $1 for each year of their age. For example, my 10 year old gets paid $10 per week. The older my children get, however, they get paid a little bit more as their needs change with their age. For instance, $16 might not be enough for my 16 year old as driving and freedom to do more things outside of the home come into play. So, because she is older and involved in other activities her school grades and attitude also give more weight to the amount of money she is paid. This helps me with with teaching her about work ethic. We also teach them to give 10% and save 10% with the money that they earn. My 10 year old likes to spend her money on things like books, etc and my teenage daughter buys herself her own James Avery jewelry (because she wants soooo much of it).
Stephanie says
Growing up, I can’t remember if we received an allowance, but each child (there are 4 of us) had a responsibility on top of the things we should be doing no matter what. We all had to make our beds, learned how to do our own laundry at a younger age, and made our own lunches for school. We also had to dust and vacuum our rooms. To help the whole family/house, my brother had to take trash out on trash days and mow the lawn, and my sisters and I (we are each years apart, so this was shared between us) had to dust and vacuum the house every Saturday morning. If we spent the night anywhere on a Friday, we had to be home in the morning to take care of our chores! As a kid, I hated it! But as an adult, I’m so, so happy my parents had us learn these chores and responsibilities. I started mowing the lawn as my siblings got older, and my dad did pay me for that. I think a mix of chores with an allowance and without an allowance is the way to go!
Missy@My Sh!tty Kitchen says
We had an earn your keep checklist that laid out 3 personal responsibilities and three extras we could earn money for. If you finished them all, you got paid and the weekend was yours, if you only finished the ones you get paid for, you couldn’t leave the house on Saturday to play outside. I thought it was terrible when I was a kid but I thank my parents everyday for instilling a sense of cleanliness and personal responsibility that sadly many do not have . Plus my house is usually very neat!
Lindsey says
There are already a ton of great suggestions and tips, but I’ll say what my parents did for us that seemed to work. We never really had a list of chores to do each day, but we were expected to make our bed/clean our room/put up out clothes as a given. I didn’t really view that as a chore because it was just expected. When we (my sisters and I) were in the early years of elementary school I remember my parents saying whoever got up earliest on Sundays before church would get a dollar because we all liked to sleep in. Also, during the summer my parents made a deal that if we read 10 books in those 2 months they’d give us 100 dollars. When I turned 14 or 15 (this is the idea I plan to do with my kids) they gave us a debit card and put 40 bucks on it every 2 weeks. That was the money we had to use to buy new clothes, go to the movies, go out to eat with friends, etc. Instead of asking them for money for everything as we got older and wanted to do things we had to budget our own money. We all played sports in high school and didn’t have time for a part time job, but I learned the value of money real quick because 40 bucks isn’t that much and you can spent it much faster than you can get it.
Abby Slaton says
Mine are too little right now but I am saving this for later! Love your ideas
Megan says
My sister and I earned an allowance. Each week we would get maybe $5-$10..? It wasn’t a huge amount and we earned it if we did our responsibility chores as you talked about, plus our extra chores. Then we used the envelope system. We had envelopes for our tithe, short term savings, long term savings and fun money. Fun money was for a treat such as an ice cream or treat at school. Short term savings were for things like movies, clothing etc. and long term savings for more expensive items that we had to save for over a period of several months.
Madison Collins says
Growing up I was never paid for chores because my parents wanted my sister and I to learn that these are life responsibilities and that if I (the parent) dont get paid for unloading the dishwasher, or putting away laundry than why should you (the child). Taking care of the house is just a life reasonably and trying your best in school. I had friends grwoing up who would earn money for A’s and B’s but my parents also instilled in us that you have to work hard to succeed and you dont earn money for turning in HW. Rather at the end of the school year if we worked hard around the house, did wel in school and sports that they would treat us to ice cream, or an item that we had been wanting such as an ipod. I like the idea of teaching kids about money! But if you want to pay them I would only do the “extras” not personal responsibilites because thats just part of life.
Carolyn says
I think you are on the right track. There are certain things that are done because you are responsible as a family member (make your bed, clean your room, clear the dinner table, etc.), but then there are other “jobs” for which you can earn money. We did this for our 3 kids who are now 25, 24 and 19. They could do as much or as little work as they wanted, but they all quickly learned that if they wanted to buy things (a video game for example) they needed to work hard and save up. Job examples included picking up after the dog (poop patrol), vacuuming the family room, sweeping the front porch, cleaning out the cars, etc. The list changed as the kids got older, and each child had their own particular jobs that they liked. I HATE the idea of just giving an “allowance” for nothing. When the kids all turned around 12, we told them that if they saved up 1/2 for their car, we would pay the other half. My kids all have excellent work ethics, and I like to think that our job list helped reinforce the idea that if you want money, you work hard and you work smart!!!
Sarah says
I started reading through your comments but there were so many! I don’t know if this has already been mentioned, but Merrick’s Art had a fantastic blog post about this very thing. Her kids are younger like yours but the principles are what sold me. It’s called a Family Economy and we’ve instituted it in our home with our 2. (13&8) It essentially gives me the power to not have to say no to my kids requests anymore, they can buy what they want as long as they have money in their “accounts”. But beyond just wishes, it covers (in our home) giving to the Lord, saving and then as they grow, more a responsibility for their own needs as well. With the intent that by the time they leave our home they are equipped to manage their money in a realistic way, having a good idea of how you need to budget for things. For real. Go find her blog. I think you’d really find it beneficial!
Constance says
I never got paid to do chores ha! But my parents and relatives gave my siblings and I a TON of cash for Chinese New Year! It’s a Chinese tradition where we get red envelopes stuffed with cash. (We could get up to a few hundred each year because I have so many aunts/uncles) By the time I went to college, I had quite a.bit saved up. But you could only get the envelope after giving well wishes for the gifter. (Like wishing them long life, good health, prosperity, etc. Our family is Christian so we would wish each other biblical principles…receive God’s favor/blessing, esperience God’s peace, etc.) Maybe thats something you can try for your whole family.. as a nod to Ashby/madeley’s ethnicity? It’s so much fun!
Cathy says
So my kids are now 20, 18 and 15 so things have changed a bit but this is how we have done it. We never paid them for chores around the house because we always felt that helping around the house is just part of being a responsible person and a member of the family. So we paid our kids allowance of $1month for each year of their age. So an eight-year-old got $8 month for allowance. My fifteen-year-old son currently gets $15/month. So he has to learn to make good choices about his social life and what he wants to spend his money on. Now we change this when our boys turn sixteen and begin to drive and when they are allowed off campus for lunch at school. They are given a set amount of money for gas and eating out for lunch. if they use up all of the lunch money by the middle of the month they are brown bagging it the last half of the month. I know it doesn’t seem like much money but it has really taught them to be responsible with money and they seem to appreciate things more.
Erin says
My daughter is 5, and we have just started with having her have chores around the house. So this is very new territory to me. After school, she has a few things she has to do to earn I pad time. She has to make sure her room is clean, her bed made if she didn’t get to it before school and she has to do two chores of my choosing. Right now she is thrilled to help out. In the evening she has to do several things to earn I pad before bed as well. I Pad is her motivator, so I am all about using it! I refuse to pay her for doing her every day things; I feel she should take pride in her room and learn/want to keep it clean. Because if not, I will start purging. But with that said, she has earned money by helping out myself and her dad more on the weekends and helping with her 1 year old brother so I can get something done. Right now, all her birthday and holiday money goes into her piggy bank, and she gets to spend her tooth fairy money and the money she earns. I know this will change as she gets older and understand money more, but for the meantime, it is working for us and for her.
Sabrina says
We have these piggy banks that helps divide your money. https://www.amazon.com/Money-Savvy-Generation-LMSP-Blue-Pig/dp/B0002HRWBQ
Robyn says
We did not do chores or an allowance at our house. My boys just helped with all household jobs that needed to be done and in return we paid for them do to their chosen fun activities. To me it was just a respect thing – we all lived at the same house – shouldn’t we all be helping do things? Their rooms were their own domain – I did not enforce any rules per say (if they wanted to make their bed, they did and if they did not care if they got into a scrambled up mess every night for bed that was their choice, also). I think you need to do what is best for your family and children – I only have two boys and this worked best for us, but I also would not have been surprised if I had to do one way with one child and another way with the other child.
LibbyB says
Ok so I didn’t start anywhere near as early as you (your so on track) and we’ve had some fits and bursts but I finally landed on each of my kidlets getting a certain amount of money each month. This is their money to go out with friends and buy birthday gifts etc. It was really my way of cutting the never ending last minute strings of ‘we have to go buy ____ for _____, when it was maybe the end of the month or something I hadn’t planned into the budget. They each got debit cards (again, they are older) and while the accounts are connected to mine, Im listed as an account-holder and have access, the accounts don’t draft out of mine so there can be no overdraft into my account but I have full access to monitor/guide. It has really helped them to understand that money is limited and that spending should be a thoughtful experience not a free-flow. I cant tell you how nice it is to say (as you mentioned) if you want that book, item etc from Amazon, you have $, or not to spend. I agree with your personal responsibilities are just those. Chores are extra and tend to be more household oriented. Your sooo on track!
Suhana Alam says
I think making their own bed, their own laundry, keeping their room clean, doing their homework – the essentials that they should already be doing on their own for their own good, for their ability to take care of themselves – those are important life skills that they should not be paid for.
What the kids could be paid for is for chores for that will help the whole family/keep the house running like sweep the floor, keep foyer tidy, walk the dog, vacuum the house, take out trash, clean toilets, put away toys all over the living room floor, give the younger ones a bath. Do you tend to have dirty car inside? Maybe they can help keep it clean – vacuum the inside, wipe down carseats with food debris/stains.
Joanne says
One of the other bloggers that I follow – Katie at Marriage Confessions – has a bead system. She even has a printable sheet that she uses (see the first link) and then has updated the blog post now that the kids are a year older (see the second link). Her kids are around your kids’ ages and they seem to do very well with the concept. Good luck! http://marriageconfessions.com/2016/06/22/reward-beads-with-printable-freebie/ & http://marriageconfessions.com/2018/04/08/chores-for-elementary-aged-children/
Meredith says
Growing up, I never ever had an allowance. The thought of being given a specific amount of money on a consistent basis just for existing is so weird to me! With that being said, I did a lot of chores around the house. My mom expected me to help with laundry, vacuuming, mowing the lawn, making beds, dusting, dishes, etc., and I never got paid for any of it. However, she would buy me (I don’t want to say everything I wanted, but) many things, within reason. We had tons of fun outdoor toys, books, games, and activities/outings. I still learned the value of money, because I knew I couldn’t just demand an American Girl doll or something more expensive…I would only dare ask for something like that on a birthday or Christmas. Once I was old enough to get my own job, most of the fun things became my responsibility…but my parents always paid for necessities and a movie ticket or dinner out with friends once in a while. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was always taught that as a member of the family, you had to help out, even if it meant going above and beyond for others at times. In return, my parents gave me a life where I had everything I needed and a lot, but not all, of what I wanted. 🙂
Jess says
Our baby’s only 14 months old, so I don’t have direct experience. However, the BEST book on this subject I’ve ever read is The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who are Grounded, Generous, & Smart about Money! Hope you love it like I did!
https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Spoiled-Raising-Grounded-Generous/dp/0062247026/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525790003&sr=8-1&keywords=the+opposite+of+spoiled
S. R. Leide says
We’re a big Dave Ramsey finance family and he has a wonderful program for teaching kiddos all about being responsible with money. In our family, we don’t use the word “allowance” since that word implies that they’re being given money and not necessarily earning it — we use the word “salary” instead. I have two kids (5 and 8 years) and they each have a list of age appropriate chores (emptying the small garbage cans, emptying the dishwasher, walking the dog, helping to set/clear the table, etc.) that they do on a regular basis and they get paid per chore. There are also chores that they have that we consider just part of being in the family (picking up after yourself, putting laundry away, keeping room clean, etc) and they do not get paid for those. There is always the opportunity for anyone to get “extra credit” and earn extra salary for helping out with larger household chores (weeding the garden, washing the car, etc.) Each kiddo has three separate piggy banks: one for giving, one for saving, and one for spending. When they are given their salary on Sunday evening, they can decide how much goes in which piggy bank, but we always put 10% in the “give” piggy bank first. They then decide how much to put in the remaining two banks based on what they want to do with the money. This system has really helped our kiddos learn how to make smart money decisions. Hope this helps! 🙂
Elizabeth says
My son is 20 and I feel like I never figured this issue out.
Karen Belleque says
After reading the comments, I guess we are the odd ones out…we don’t pay our kids for ANYTHING!!!! I have the saying “It takes 4 people to make the mess, it takes 4 people to clean it up!” When they were very little I thought long and hard about how I wanted them to be as adults and what I seen in other kids that I didn’t want my kids to be like. One thing for sure was I wanted my house picked up and I didn’t want to pick it up every day. So we taught them to go to bed with a clean house, as in toys, crafts, dishes…anything and everything is put away before we go to bed. Their rooms stay clean too. We like clean cars so we taught them to keep them clean too, they heard a lot of “If you’re able to carry it into the car, you’re able to carry it out of the car.” Trash included. We have never used the word “chores”, we just taught them that things need to be done. Now at the age of 11 & 15, they get up on Saturday morning and automatically clean all 4 bathrooms, vacuum, dust, help with laundry, put away their own laundry. One thing I really wanted them to learn was to do something without being asked. If they noticed something needs to be done, do it. Everyone knows how to run the washer and dryer, if you hear the song that it’s done, go change it without being told. On Sunday I noticed my daughter was watering our strawberries plants. When I said something to her, she said they looked thirsty so she gave them a drink. Does this take time, yes. It also takes expectations and living up to them. They get money for birthdays and other holidays and have been taught to save it for something they really want. We supply what they really need. I didn’t want entitled kids. I want kids who are content with what they have. We don’t go out to eat often, it’s more of a celebration. We buy clothes when we need them, not because it’s a new season. A $20 dress is just as cute and wearable as an $80 dress. We don’t wear name brand unless it’s from a thrift store. We constantly talk about money and tithing and saving. We don’t have extras like Netflix or Hulu because do we really need it if we have all these cable channels. My son is 15 and has a flip phone, he’s content with it. When something in the house needs replaced or upgraded, we talk about how it’s important to have money saved for when those things come up. As a result, my kids don’t expect things, don’t ask for things, they are content with what they have. Their teachers and sports coaches are constantly telling us that they are exceptional kids. They do things without being told, show up early and ready to start, they stay after to make sure everything is cleaned up, they are eager to help. My son was injured in a soccer game a few weeks ago and the coach told us he didn’t want him practicing the next day. He still went to practice, he didn’t participate, but he was there because he’s part of the team…his coach was impressed. That’s work ethic! I am a substitute teacher at my daughter’s school, it’s easy to point out the kids who have everything done for them, kids who have to be told to do something and kids who are taught to do things without being told. Sorry for writing a book, but this is something I’m passionate about.
mindy says
We live on a farm, so our kids have quite different chores from many others. Basically, they get paid when we get paid. We plant pumpkins and all work hard to weed and water them while growing, they don’t get paid each time we work in the patch, but get to keep the money from whatever pumpkins they sell (and let me tell you, my 6 year old can move some pumpkins). Similarly, each of my kids has a cow and they help us feed and check all of our cattle all year, then when it is time to sale calves, they get to keep the money from the sale of their calf for that year. They also have many of the other “in-house” chores listed above and like most of the previous comments, those are expected as being a productive member of our family. My kids are young (the oldest is 6) but they love working all year and getting a larger lump some of $ all at once 🙂
Britt says
I have three brothers and while we were growing up we had a “star chart.” There were different things on the star chart worth a different amount of stars (stickers). Opening the curtains in the morning was one star, emptying the dishwasher was two, cleaning the guinea pig cage was four, etc. Each star was worth like 25 cents (I can’t remember exactly… they might have been different values for our different ages) and once the chart was full we got paid! This made doing chores SO much fun! Genius on my mom’s part… it tricked us into loving household chores because of the excitement of being able to put a sticker on the chart after. My youngest bro and I would literally compete to wake up earliest to open all the curtains in the morning, LOL. Hope this helps!
xo
Caroline Klobas says
Here is what my parents did when I was growing up: My sister and I got $10 a week for doing chores (will list those below). $4 went into “spend any time,” $3 went into “save up,” and $3 went into “never touch.” We made our “banks” out of a shoe box with three slots for each section. Clearly, the names are obvious. We could spend $4 a week on whatever we wanted (gum at the grocery store check out line, something dumb at Claire’s, etc.). I don’t even remember what I used my “save up” money on, but maybe like a new book or shoelaces or whatever an 8 year old pines for. And the “never touch” money went into a Vanguard mutual fund account. My dad obviously had to help us open and fund the account at the beginning; I think he put $1,000 into each and then would “match” our contributions. Since it was only $3 a week, it didn’t grow quickly. But every few months, my dad would ask for our “never touch” money, and he’d deposit it and match it appropriately. I am very proud to say that I still contribute to that same exact Vanguard account every month, 20 years later. My daddy doesn’t help me anymore, because I’m a grown*** woman.
Here is what chores we did each week around the house that we got our $10 for: cleaning our bathroom sink, mirror, and counter; collecting the trash in every small trash can (bathrooms, the office, parents’ closet, etc.), cleaning out the litterbox; picking up after our dog in the backyard; taking our laundry hamper to the laundry room on Sundays and putting the clothes away. I’m sure there were more but I can’t remember all of them!
We were expected to make our beds, keep our rooms clean, and get As and Bs at school with no compensation. Like you said, our parents didn’t want to pay us for things we should be responsible for to be citizens in society.
We just got cash for several years (and put it all in our shoebox!) until we were maybe in junior high and needed a debit card. This is when we started getting dropped off at the movies or a restaurant and needed to pay for stuff. Having the debit card eventually let us learn how to deposit and withdraw money from a bank. And once we started summer jobs at age 14 (at a Christian summer camp), we learned how to get a direct deposit and deposit a check, etc.
These lessons were INVALUABLE. I am an almost 30 year old married woman and feel super secure in my finances and spending habits and budgeting. And about 90% of that is owed straight to my parents and their superb money-teaching skills. And the other 10% is on me! 🙂
Aimee says
What if they had standard things that they are expected to do (however often you decide is reasonable) just because they are members of your household (bed, putting dishes in the sink, etc) but then there are bonus chores that earn them money (things you mentioned – other’s laundry, vacuum, etc.). Each of those can be worth a certain number. And then when they ask for something (say a kindle book) – they learn how to make extra contributions but are reinforced for that while simultaneously learning the importance of money (how many times do I need to vacuum to earn that book)…does that make sense?!
Jenny says
I think the way you are handling it is spot on. No pay for their own responsibilities but they will get paid for anything above and beyond that they do around the house but that raises another question. Do you give them a flat amount per week if they are helping around the house with chores or do you pay them per chore as they do it? I’m just thinking if you settle on a flat amount every week then what happens if they don’t help out as much one week versus the next? My son is all grown up now and I never stayed consistent with allowance along with chores when he was younger and I can kick myself now. He has never really learned true responsibility around the house and that falls back on me for not staying consistent. I love that you are instilling this household work ethic in them now, I’m so jealous I can’t go back and do it right!
April says
We have something called “do good” jars! Each of my kids has their own jar and anytime we catch them doing something “extra” they get a little pom pom to put in their jar. Each kid has a different color pom pom. When the jar is full we give them $20! My kids LOVE it!
Erin says
Maybe they can earn extra money if they can go an entire week doing the “expected tasks” (bed, own laundry, homework) without any reminders. Kind of like a weekly bonus and another chance to earn money 🙂
Cynthia says
We have a 13 and 16 YO. We don’t pay for chores that are a normal part of a functioning home ie make beds, laundry, dishes and such. However we have and still do pay others to mow and deep clean. If our kids do those jobs we pay them. I own a small book keeping company and they work for me entered notes or filing things and make money. They also work for others as well ie mowing, cleaning and such.
Bethany says
I love all the suggestions above. With my kids we created three jars in each of their rooms, Save, Spend, Share and each week when they get their allowance, part goes in each. At the end of the year (usually around Christmas) they take their share money and give it to the charity of their choice. So awesome watching your four year old empty that hard earned money in the colelction plate at church, the red bucket outside of Target or the pet shelter. We opened bank accounts for them and every several months we take the Save jar and deposit it and the spend is theirs to do whatever they want with.
Sarah says
We started allowance this year for my older kids (6 and almost 9) after having a very similar experience to what you wrote about. They each get paid twice a month, $10 each time, on the same days that my husband gets his paycheck. They also have a list of ways they are expected to help around the house. This includes keeping their rooms clean, clearing their plates/glasses, setting the table for dinner, cleaning up the dishes after dinner, picking up their toys, helping in the yard, etc. While allowance is not tied to chores, if they forget anything on their list, I leave them a maid bill on a post-it note. For example, if I get home from dropping the kids at school and one of them has left their breakfast dishes on the kitchen table, I charge something small, like 25 cents, and deduct it out of allowance. I had to leave all of two maid bills before they totally got the hang of it 🙂 I also have paid one sibling to clean up after another sibling and that really works wonders. The thought is that if you don’t complete your expected chores, you will have to pay someone else to do it. They also get bonuses sometimes for going above and beyond, especially if they do it under their own volition. Allowance is spent on anything they want as long as it’s something allowed in our house. I have zero arguments at the grocery store and Target now because they have to spend their own money on extra stuff. We are headed to Disneyland this summer and my kids have been saving, saving, saving for that. Oh, and they tithe 10 percent of their pay, just as we do, every month. All of the financial information is kept in an app called bankaroo. I don’t physically pay them, it just gets added into the app. I love this system!
Rhonda says
The skill of learning to be a hard worker/responsible and the skill of learning money management are two different skills that people often try to teach in one step. As these two skills are extremely important, I would break them down separately.
Money Management–this is where you would teach (as you and Andrew have started to) what % goes to what. It also is where you would teach about wise spending, healthy borrowing, interest rates, debt, credit card use (wow, if not taught about credit card use, they can get into HUGE trouble in college.) Start simple and as they grow, build on it. Teach them how and why you spend your money. Talk about (hard or not so hard) lessons you have learned along the way. So many people are private about their finances….how are people supposed to learn what it takes to be successful, and what to avoid. (Heck, we talk freely about hair care products and shoes, but how to manage money…..that’s taboo. Crazy!)
Learning to be a hard worker–This would be where you teach the quality of work you would like them to produce. May I make a suggestion, work really hard on this one from the beginning. Set the standard high (without causing them actually stress.) Set age-appropriate expectations and consequences. But, don’t be afraid to take away privileges that matter to them (dance class, baseball etc.) (Yep, I said it, keep breathing!!) If you say, “Take the garbage out before baseball” and the garbage is not taken out, then stay strong, no baseball. I promise you, you will only have to do this once, maybe twice. (Versus having to take away a privilege that means less to them, about a thousand times before the behavior changes.) The bonus outcome of this, they learn time management too.
Good luck….these are hard lessons to teach because they matter so much. I can say, I was successful with 1….the jury is still out on the other.
Rachel K says
My girls are 10 and 7. Every night they write out a small chore list for the next day after school. Things like unload the dishwasher, empty garbage, clean your room, put your laundry in washer or away (yes they know how to wash, dry and put away their clothes – life skills), feed the dogs, etc. We do not pay them for these chores as helping around the house and cleaning up their own messes is just part of learning the responsibilities of a life and a home. My oldest daughter told her 4th grade friends this at school and some didn’t know what chores were or got paid for every chore they did. Morgan’s response to them when they asked why she wasn’t paid was “I get to live in my house”!!! I like your idea of paying them if they go above and beyond like doing everyone’s laundry or maybe cleaning out the entry way closet alone. Scrubbing the guest bath, etc. My oldest daughter is in traveling competitive cheer this coming season and the cost is insane. So instead of an allowance for mowing the lawn all summer she will get to be in traveling cheer next year which is something she loves. I think its about finding a balancing act between teaching them about the value of a dollar and teaching them that some chores are just part of being in a family and personal responsibility for their own room, clothes and toys. I think we all worry we are screwing them up all the time!!!! Good luck.
Stephanie says
We pay commission, not allowance. My daughter, now 6, has been doing chores since she was 4. She earns a checkmark for every job/chore she completes. This includes daily responsibility chores (cleaning room, clearing table, getting dressed, etc) and extra chores (vacuuming, helping with laundry, loading dishwasher, cleaning family room, etc.). Then at the end of the week, her checkmarks are converted to money ($0.10 per check). She doesn’t do every chore everyday, so she usually gets in the neighborhood of $4.00 – $7.50 depending on what she has done. If she gets bored with an extra chore, we will remove it and add something new in its place. We have a small wall, at the end of our kitchen, that isn’t visible from most of the rest of our home where we have a white board with her chores and checks.
Bri Bliss says
My parents never gave us an allowance, but we were never deprived of things we wanted either (within reason of course.) I vividly remember the lists my mom used to leave on the kitchen counter for all of us to complete by the time she got home (my dad had one too!) Those were our responsibility for the day. I did laundry, cut the lawn, weeded flower beds, and even started supper some days. However, I teach 5th grade now & I can’t imagine ANY of my students being responsible enough to do all of that. I truly think it was a different time and I also grew up in a rural setting. We weren’t really tempted with FroYo or Starbucks all the time, because it wasn’t an option. I can definitely see my husband & I doing an allowance for our daughters, just so they understand limits on spending. My daughter thinks nothing of stopping at the Dollar Spot or grabbing an ice cream after dance. That’s on me at this point, but is something we’ve been talking about too! I’m looking forward to reading these comments!
Gail Young says
Wow! So many great comments. OUr kids are now 34 and 36 and we had to come up with a plan because of birthday party invitations of all things. Our one bus stop filled the whole bus and we just couldnt afford so many gifts. This led to the Envelope Method. 10 categories. Tithe, Savings, Birthday Party, Christmas, Regular Spending, College Savings, Special Saving for Something Big, Clothing, Car, and Emergency. We started this in the 2nd grade with a “huge “ amount of money. They thought they were billionaires!! Probably the equivalent of $50 dollars a month in todays money. But they learned that by the time it was all divided up the amount they got to spend on themselves was quite small.
Sometimes they went to the thrift store to buy their clothes and birthday party gifts. We bought back to school clothes but otherwise they learned to buy what they needed. We did not attatch chores to money , it was just expected that they help out. They could earn extra though for helping with big things. By the time they were in hischool they were pretty self sufficient, had weekend or after school jobs, and had figured out budgeting. They were always great helpers around the house, and were super generous with time and money. They still are today so I think it worked well for us. Ps. When our youngest was 10 he added an extra envelope for Retirement. Gotta love that kid!
Beth B. says
This is a good resource for an allowance system that works, and that isn’t overly complicated (for parents to manage): http://www.71toes.com/2012/11/a-money-system-that-works.html
Anna says
I like your approach! After all, no one is paying me to cook dinner, wash everyone’s laundry, etc. but doing extra gives the chance for our foster daughter to earn some money. I’m personally not a fan of allowances, I’d rather the kids work extra to earn more money and not feel like it just rolls on in as part of their normal life. Some things we pay for are sweeping the garage, sweeping the deck, helping pull weeds, or cleaning the bathroom (at this age that just means wiping down the counters, bathtub, and floor with a water/vinegar mix). Because she’s 5, we have to help with most of these but she’s taking over more and more on her own. I’d like to get her started asking the neighbors if they have chores she can help with (even if I give the money to the neighbor and then they “pay” her) so she feels like she’s out there finding new sources of revenue. Does that make sense?
Ruth says
My kids didn’t get money for doing chores like making their bed, setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, collecting the trash from all the trash cans around the house, folding towels, socks, and underwear for everyone, feeding the dog and making sure the dog had water. I started these chores slowly depending on their age. When they were younger first thing was making their bed and feeding the dog, adding on chores as they were able to do more. Explained they were part of the family and everyone pitches in.
We did pay them for extra work when we needed it : helping scoop up leaves in the yard, getting ready for parties or entertaining, etc.
They earned extra money by crushing aluminum cans and bagging up the cans and bottles and taking them to recycling, walking and feeding neighbors dogs while they were on vacations, helping wash the cars or vacuuming the cars, as teenagers they babysat and did pet sitting for extra money outside of the home. My one daughter didn’t like babysitting so she just started her own pet sitting service at 14 and she made flyers, passed them around and really had a nice little business until she went away for college.
Another thing that our community does is a kids garage sale at the community center parking lot once a year and the kids just pay a small fee for a table and pop up shade and can sell their toys, books, etc. My girls cleaned their toys and priced them and they negotiated with customers if a customer asked to pay less for the items. As a family we did have some garage sales at our home and our girls would do the same thing, clean, price and sale their own stuff and kept the money.
Hope this helps Shay.
Rebecca Jo says
I’ve seen lots of things on Pinterest that have jars for each thing (savings, spending, tithing) – check that out for some help – & CUTE help at that 😉 lol
Kelley Williams says
In our house, we have things that we do “because”. Because we are part of a family. Because it’s the right thing to do. Because it takes everyone, working together to accomplish the things that need to be done. Because you should. Because Mom said so – ha! These are things like….making your bed, picking up after yourself, putting your laundry in the hamper, etc.
Beyond that, we want our kids to “get” that work equals pay and that you must work for the things that you want, and so we have “jobs” and each job has a set payment attached to it. Each child has 5 jobs and the payment for those jobs are set. When my kids were younger, their jobs may have only been worth 25 cents or 50 cents, but as they got older, their jobs were worth more (and their jobs became more difficult). My big rule with our jobs was that you MUST do them without being told. After all, it’s not fair for ME to have to remind YOU, over and over throughout the week, to do YOUR job so that YOU can take MY money. No thanks….I’ll keep my money. Our “jobs” were to be done by, for instance, 5:00 on Friday and, if they weren’t done by then, you didn’t get paid for that job. You still have to do your job….because when you grow up and go to work, your boss isn’t going to remind you and he isn’t going to just pay you for no reason. Amazing how self motivated they can become. At times, to show and extend grace to them, I would give them a mid-week reminder but, for the most part, one of my main goals was for them to be self-starters, so as they got older, I was really big on the “no reminders” rule. No one tells me the toilet needs cleaned, the laundry needs to be done or that dinner needs to be cooked.
Kelley Williams says
Oops….the rest of that story is that, once my children were paid, they had a “bank” that we had made with 3 categories…..tithe, save and spend. They put 10% in the tithe jar and then, we talked about/decided/”budgeted” where the remainder went (save or spend).
Erin says
Love this topic and have definite thoughts on it!
I think it’s really important for kids to NOT get paid for doing chores around the house that are either their personal responsibility (homework, making bed etc.) OR for chores they do that help the household run, since they are a contributing member of the family (clear table, clean bathroom, vacuum etc.)
I think a good opportunity for kids to earn money for jobs would be bigger and more “extra” you’re jobs that aren’t everyday type things… maybe like large yard projects, a big spring cleaning thing etc.
Recently we had to do the yearly job of picking up sticks in the yard in spring (We live in MN and branches blow down in winter storms a lot). I required my kids to both pick up 20 sticks, and then said I’d pay them a quarter for every 20 sticks they picked up after that. My 2 yr old opted to play in the sandbox and earned nothing, and my 5 yr old earned 2.50 when it was all said and done. Both were happy with their choice, and I was just fine with it too.
A good test, in my opinion, for if something should be paid for or not, is if you are ok with it not being done. I wouldn’t be ok with my daughter saying she was not going to clear the table, so that is just something she is required to do as part of this family. But I’m ok with her saying she isn’t doesn’t want to dust the basement, so that is optional and therefore has an earning opportunity attached to it.
We also split our kids’ earnings/ money gifts in thirds for now, between spend/ save/ give.
j.e.n. says
i saw a segment on tv about busy kid. it teaches kids to work, save, give, and even invest. it looked amazing. you can find out more at https://busykid.com. i don’t have kids but have bookmarked it for the future. 🙂
Sandy Blitch says
The Dave Ramsey philosophy is pretty good! Be cause all children have free room and board, and get perks like free travel and fun family activities, I think they need to eventually be clued in that not all of life will come to them for free! I agree that basic responsibilities should be expected of them, and getting paid for the extra things they want to do to pay for extras! We made our kids tithe 10% and put a percentage in their savings account. I must say, though that kids today have debit and credit cards to learn about, so that has to figure in somewhere! Our 16 year old grandson went to Disney World with his high school band, with a debit card and some cash. He only busted once with the debit card, but actually did pretty well after that! Start them early, so they can fail a little before they are off to college! Good luck!
Emma Luongo says
I never had an allowance growing up! I was just expected to help out around the house when my mom asked. I was always jealous of the kids that got one though lol!
I was given birthday money from parents and grandparents that I had as spending money for the year! Of course, my parents would buy me something every so often but it definitely wasn’t much!
Olivia says
Some things they should be expected to do, like make their bed, brush their teeth, etc. But “bigger chores” would earn an allowance, like helping wash the car, raking all of the leaves, and stuff like that. That’s what my parents did and I think it worked well 🙂
Becky Reid says
We use our Garmin Vivofit Jr Ap! I felt I spent WAY too much time creating weekly charts and graphs, so when my 4 year old son and 7 year olddaughter got their vivofit’s for Christmas, we started implementing the ap into our nightly routine. We check active minutes, steps, sleep activity (I LOVE this one), the game, and the chores. Our list of chores vary for each child given their age – yes, my 4 year has “brush your teeth morning and night…lol- and on a daily bases, but once they reach 20 coins they can redeem for their allowance. The allowance in our house is $2. We have 3 pots they can choose to put the money in – wallet (for day to day spending), piggy bank (for larger purchases), or their bank account (which they don’t really touch and receive only a monthly statement). It seems to work well for us at this stage. You have a lot of wonderful suggestions today – can’t wait to read your summary! Good luck!
Lee Ann says
One fun thing my aunt and uncle do… Each kid as an “account” on the notes section of their phone. They can get money each week for whatever mom and dad decide is deserving (chores, extra effort or performance at school or activities, just being an overall good kid, etc.) They can also get it taken away if that’s deserving too. This helps when they’re out and about. Kids don’t carry money around and mom and dad can give money without actually having to have the cash on hand. They absolutely provide other opportunities to teach the responsibility and math side of money but for a barely 10 year old and 4 year old this has been great for them.
Meg says
This is slightly unrelated, but I just wanted to chime in about how my parents dealt with money when I was a bit older, in high school/college. I’m very lucky that I always had my parents help me out, but I’m also so appreciative of HOW they helped me out. I had a lot of friends whose parents just gave them a credit card, and not a ton of guidance on how to spend it. They would spend it on whatever they wanted, and hoped they didn’t get in too much trouble with their dad when they went shopping. While I had a credit card for emergencies once I started driving (ACTUAL emergencies, not shopping emergencies ;), they doled out my spending money (this was mostly in college) in chunks. They deposited a certain amount into a checking account at the beginning of the semester, and that was it. It was my job to manage that money, and budget it as needed. If I went crazy on expensive groceries and going out too much in the beginning, it was my problem at the end of the semester when I didn’t have enough to do what I wanted. This was so helpful for me to learn how to manage money and budget. When I graduated and entered the working world, a lot of my friends stayed dependent on their parents and got caught up in credit card debt, but I had already learned how to manage my money, and have been able to stay debt free with a healthy savings account, while still spending money on fun stuff like travel and kitchen toys 😉
I realize that my parents’ generosity and how lucky my family was financially greatly impacted my ability to be as financially stable as I am right now, but I’m so grateful to my parents for instilling a sense of responsibility in me about it all.
Jennifer Goodwin says
I’m a mom to four teenage boys. They’re nineteen, eighteen, and twins that are fifteen. We’ve never given an allowance, but they’ve always helped out around the house. We are a homeschooling family, so we built time into our day for things like this, because school work does not take even close to seven hours each day. They’re all responsible for cleaning up after themselves and helping with dinner clean up. They mow the yard for us, and they bathe the dogs. Now, we’ve never given them money for these things, partly because we didn’t have a ton of it to spare, but we never with held things from them. If they wanted books, I would buy them, and any other schoolish or educational thing. Games and toys they saved birthday and Christmas money for. All my boys started working at fourteen, too, at Chick Fil A part time, or by animal sitting, yardwork, or working with their dad at his company on an as-needed basis. We’ve taught them that not everything they do is for money, meaning that when their elderly grandparents need help, they just go and help without asking questions. They’ve always raised their own money for mission trips with our church and now that the older two are driving, though we bought their cars and pay for insurance, they pay for their own gas. They also pay for when they go out with their friends, which is all the time, now that they’re older. With each year, they gain more independence. Our way hasn’t always been easy or a popular choice for us (according to family members), but they’ve all turned out pretty great, by the grace of God. I really do give Him all the praise and glory for this. We are at our church all the time, and every time there is an event, they’re always among the first to jump up and help out wherever they’re needed. They’re gentlemen, and they have impeccable manners. Now, I will also say that they’re all BOYS, so it is different with boys than it is with girls. I’ve always said we’re not raising sons, but future husbands and fathers. Though they’re still all boy at home and laugh at unmentionable things, when we’re out and about, they are perfect gentlemen. I know each kid is different, and families have different dynamics, and what works for us may not work for everyone, but this is just another idea to throw out there. Best of wishes as you and your husband figure it all out. (And by the grace of God, even though we tried our best, so far we have not screwed all ours up for life. Ha!)
Becky Carl says
A chart of “paid chores” might be fun. They each get to pick one paid chore each week. I am in agreement that regular chores that are expected of them should not be paid. The paid chores would be things that you and your husband feel would help you out a lot as busy parents. Maybe a portion of their allowance could be saved to buy a puzzle, a soft doll, a music cd, or stuffed animal for a nursing/assisted living home. Alzheimer patients love dolls because it gives them something to hold and take care of. Hope to hear more about your resolution. Your children are precious.
Erin Harding says
I totally agree with your way of thinking. My kids are still too little for chores right now but growing up we had a similar set up and it taught me a lot about how to manage money and pull my own weight. Then as got older and had roommates instead of siblings I wasn’t the lazy/messy one that was hard to live with. 🙂 It is so surprising how many kids these days are just handed money for an allowance they have not earned and then they grow to expect it every week. I feel like this way kids take pride in the fact that they earn their money and are more careful with how they spend it rather than if it is just handed to them. I love your plan!
Tins Spork says
Wow! I think is the most comments I have ever seen on your blog! I have a 24 year old daughter-she is a nurse, and a 22 year old son-graduates college in 2 weeks. BOTH of my kiddos ended up being AWESOME with money. One is a bit more of a saver ( Buys expensive quality items but very infrequently) One likes to buy more stuff that is less expensive. My daughter already has a retirement account?! We followed the “we are all in this together” mentality in regards to personal responsibilities. I think I said more than 1,000+ Times, “I am your mom, not your maid”. HaHa. It was a little bit challenging for us because, we started a business when they were young and became successful and had a large income. Big problem right? But, it was, because we could literally give our kids anything. But, where is the value in that? Luckily, my husband and I were on the same page, and both grew up in more middle class circumstances. Anything that made our house function day to day was just life…beds, toys, dishes etc. But, anything we would be willing to pay for was up for grabs: Cleaning toilets, Vacuuming, Yard work, Car washing etc. Especially bigger projects like staining the fence, cleaning out the garage….they could pitch in and make some cash. Here are my most important lessons.
1.NEVER call them CHORES…they are JOBS! Who wants to do a chore? It’s all in how you frame it!
2. Our kids had to play a sport or get a part-time job at 16. They both played sports until 16 and both had jobs by 17. THIS and only this made all the difference for real life preparation. They finally completely understood time=$ and were suddenly aware of how much everything really costs. For example, my son said a Coke at a restaurant takes him 30 minutes of work to earn…a movie 1.5 hours etc. Game changer! The gratitude they expressed for everything we did after that was enormous! We also, bought our kids cars at 16, but they had to buy the gas! They would think twice before offering rides to the beach, movies, school events. Honestly, Where we live very few kids had part-time jobs and most of my children’s friends are very unmotivated, and somewhat entitled! Their parents gave them everything and nothing has value.
3. I disagree about the division of kids money when they are young, because honestly they don’t make enough of it to save towards something of value and lose interest. We ROLE MODELEd saving, giving and spending. That was way more influential, our kids asked for Savings accounts, Our kids did mission trips as their high school graduation gifts, they gave their time which I think is way more helpful and impactful in today’s society. Compassion and helpfulness to another is better than a dollar. Money is a bit of a cop out. Giving of oneself is the best charity.
Lastly, I will say, kids are kids sometimes and laziness can run rampant at times. I found limiting each kid to one after school activity, gave them time to do a bit of nothing (most kids in our area were seriously over scheduled), and left them enough energy to be helpful people within our little household. And, by the way I am sure I lost my cool once a month and demanded everyone step up! But, I am an OCD over achiever and that was mostly my perfectionism leaking out. Haha. Good luck. You are doing great. Good Luck. If I could go back and just snuggle them for 5 minutes at the ages your kiddos are now, that would be priceless! Tina
Anna says
We go back and forth on this, so I’m looking forward to seeing what others do! Right now, we don’t do an allowance (unless you count what goes into their savings accounts, but they don’t really know much about that.) or pay them for chores. On one hand, I don’t think we should pay them for things they should do like putting away their clothes, cleaning their rooms, etc., but on the other hand, sometimes it’s more work for me to give them things I normally do. Where we’ve ended up with this is just trying to instill in them that we’re all part of this family, so we all pitch in and help to get things done.
When it comes to buying things, I try not to go overboard, but I’m definitely not the best. I love to read as do my boys and I’m a sucker for a trip to Barnes and Noble to pick out a book and grab something from Starbucks. For toys, we do make them spend their own money unless it’s a holiday. We have so many things, so they definitely don’t need anything. I know they really want something when they want to spend their own money!
They put a good portion of any money they get for birthdays/Christmas in their savings accounts and we give them an offering for church as well.
Diane Selman says
We had a weekly chart of a daily chore which had to be completed when they arrived home from school such as feeding pets, setting the table, taking the recycling out, empty the silverware out of the dishwasher (full dishwasher as they got older). Each person’s chore was different each day and gender and age was not a reason you could not complete your chore. This chore was in addition to making their bed everyday (pull duvet up and place pillow on top). Opportunities were given to earn extra money including reading chapter books. A nickel per page (reduced to a penny per age as they aged) with a verbal book report at the end of the book was the favorite. We did the dollar per year as a base allowance. When they became teens, this was their money to “eat out” with friends even though a free meal was provided at home. Also, I taught mine how to do one load of their laundry when they entered 4th grade – this did not include the athletic wear that has to been done every night!
In addition to the chore chart on the refrigerator, we kept John Rosemonds 6 Reasons You Say No.
Marisa says
Chores and daily responsibilities were a bit easier when my children were little. Now that they are 14 and 9 they are testing what they can get away with not doing more and more often. This year I have them do a list of things. If they complete them daily without being asked at the end of the week they get paid. Make bed, brush teeth, feed dogs, empty dishwasher, etc. They keep a sticky note and make check marks. I felt I was enabling them by constantly asking and following up and I was a constant nag. If you fill out the sticky note daily and give it to me y ou get paid. I don’t pay them much but it is also helping them loosen their grip on $ because they have a constant reliable source of money coming in. This makes it easier for me to say no when they ask for something they don’t need of if they want to save for a gift for a friend or something really big.
Cassy M says
We used Dave Ramsey principles with our kids. They are now 21 & 19. He has great tools for kids. They have envelope systems where they tithe, save and have their spend money. Our kids had commission. They had “you are part of the family” chores they did for free. The chores we chose to ” pay” them for were only paid for if they took care of their other chores. Our boys still follow the principles and our youngest, a Frisco, TX firefighter is still at home saving to pay cash for his first home.
Theresa says
I don’t have kiddos, but when I was growing up, my parents would give us an allowance for household chores, like taking out the trash, taking care of pets, helping to clean (like dusting, sweeping, etc.). But similar to what you said above, cleaning our rooms and making our beds or other personal chores were expected and not rewarded. We also received little bonuses for our our report cards. We’d get a set amount for each grade (say $3 for every A, 2 for every B, and so on) which was an added incentive to work hard on homework and tests all through the year.
Robyn Liebelt says
My kids are about the same ages. I’ve started doing it like this: if I have to tell them to do a chore, then they don’t get paid (they still have to do the chore). If they do it on their own without me asking, then they get paid! I just do a dollar per chore. (This may change as they start to realize some chores are worth more). I want them to SEE what needs done, and not only do something because I tell them! They are getting rewarded for both-doing the chore and responsibility!
Lindsay @ Lindsay's Sweet World says
Love this topic, Shay!! I can’t wait to come back and read the comments because I’m implementing chores/allowance this summer for the first time ever in our little family!
Jennifer Melson says
We LOVE Faith and Finances for Kids. It’s amazing. Seriously. We bought the Parent Kit and a Kid’s Kit for each of our 3 boys. It’s amazing. Rick and Dottie Jones own and run the ministry (Dallas based) and I met with them in their home to get the system set up. It does everything for you – from helping your kids memorize scripture about what God says about money, to how much to pay (you get a pay raise with each birthday) and how much to save/tithe, put in savings, put in reserve/debt free, and how much for spending. Seriously all the work is done for you! It really is amazing. Can’t say enough good things. http://faithandfinancesforkids.com
Kate says
My kids are 7 and 6 and get $5 in singles a week. They put $2 in a spend jar, $2 in a save jar and $1 in a give jar. Their jars are clear so they can see their money. They are required to do some standard things as part of the family but there are specific things we will pay them for or not pay if they don’t get done. Usually things I don’t want to do ? They have the chance to do extra chores if they miss something from their chore chart.
Jen says
My kids are a little older than yours, 15 and 12. I have managed my kids similar to how I was raised. My kids are expected to do certain responsibilities since they are members of the family. Those mainly focus around themselves. And if we ask for them to do something else randomly they are expected to do it without complaint or questions.
Saying all of that we feel our kids first priority and responsibility is school. Then they are expected to be in an activity or sport they dedicate themselves to and work towards improvement. We do not want quantity but we want quality and dedication. Granted through 5th grade they rotated sports but only one at a time. As of 6th grade the both chose to specialize in swimming which is a time consuming sport. If our kids are practicing and doing the necessary homework we do not add on extra responsibilities on top of their personal ones. However in the summer when school is not a factor they both have spreadsheets. The spreadsheets compliment each other. And they involve responsibilities around the entire house. Cleaning bathrooms, picking up dog poop, picking up sticks in the yard, cleaning floors etc. They also have daily reading and math work time. We allow them to choose what they read and they can pick what type of math they want to complete. Or if they come up with a suggestion like they want to write a short story we are open to it. They are not allowed any electronics, tv or phone until they have completed their responsibilities which is usually after swimming every am from 7-9. We started this system since I did not want to be the “police officer” constantly monitoring their time all day all summer. They do have longer term projects like clean out their closet, clean out their books, clean out their toys, clean out their desk drawers. And yes my kids are older but I did start in early grade school with giving them a post it each day with what they needed to do. And if they were doing a bigger job like cleaning out their desk I gave them instructions to make piles and we would review them together when they were done.
As far as money goes if they do something above and beyond their regular responsibilities then we do give them money. Our goal with any money they get either gift or earned is they save half and it gets put int the bank. The rest they can spend on themselves, others or donate to a cause.
In the end this can be stressful but by doing it the way we have it is positive. Every kid handles it differently. My oldest gets hers done in record time since she values her electronics etc. My youngest wanders around and gets distracted.
Good luck!
Darcy says
What a great topic! My oldest is only 2, so we don’t have experience yet but I distinctly remember growing up that I got $1/week to do chores – dishes, cleaning up my room (more personal responsibility chores like you mentioned). We were very poor growing up, so a $1 was a lot of money to us (and probably to my parents!) but that was considered our fun money. If we wanted a candy bar at the grocery store, or a book or toy – anything non-essential came from that allowance. I think because my parents couldn’t afford to buy a lot of non-essentials, that the $1 was an easy way to still give their kids something fun/nice….but also not have to say “no” to a lot of things they would have liked to have said “yes” to if we were more well off.
All that said – as soon as we turned 12, we were expected to earn our own money. I babysat a lot and my brother mowed lawns. Once we turned 12, we no longer got a $1 allowance, and our parents paid for our school lunch, $100/year for school clothes and car insurance (when we were old enough to drive). Everything else – gas, dinners out with friends, name brand clothes, lunch off of school grounds (more than the $1.85 a school lunch cost) was our responsibility. I don’t ever remember feeling like I couldn’t afford things (because I was free to work to make money) but I grew up with a very distinct value for money and of spending it wisely.
I don’t know that the above is the situation you’re in yet….but I think my generation and younger hasn’t had to work for a lot of things like older generations and there are such good lessons taught by having to work for something. Thanks for bringing this topic up!
Leigh says
This has been something I’m struggling with. My oldest is 6 so I haven’t worried about it until now. I am so torn on this because I don’t want to pay my kids for household chores. They’ve never been paid to clean their room before, why pay them now? They are part of the family so they share part of the load – clean your room, make your bed, put away your laundry, etc. They still fight over who gets to vacuum and “punishment” is me or my husband vacuuming instead of them. I know that won’t last forever! I can’t wait to read back through the comments because I really don’t know what to do.
Lizzie says
I remember thinking that it was so odd that my friends would get an allowance from their parents – just for doing things they were supposed to be doing around the house no matter what! I was fortunate to have a Dad who provided well for the family and my mom at home, and there was never anything I lacked… however I had to do my chores to be able to go out and do extra things. And once I was in middle school we had one extra chore in the house that benefited everyone (mine was making sure sink was clear after meals & my sister’s was taking out the trash on trash days. “Mom can I go to the movies Friday night? – If you did the dishes and your room is clean, yes.” or… “Can I get a new dress/shoes/purse? -Yes, you helped your sisters with their homework and took out the trash this week.”
If our rooms were messy even after we were asked to clean them up, or didn’t do our chore for the week, or had acted up, good chance that the answer was going to be a no, and the next week I would make sure to have everything done so I could have my fun! As an adult now, I am thankful that I had little chores for responsibility (and I learned my lesson when I didn’t do it), however my parents still made sure we were kids and had time for homework, activities, and fun without putting too much on us. I’m sure they were just testing how things would go too, but it ended up being a perfect balance for us.
emily says
Ralphie Jacobs on instagram @simplyonpurpose(and facebook too i think) has awesome ideas on family economy and parenting in general, you should check her out!
Megan T says
Ralphie Jacobs from Simply on Purpose in IG details what their family does: Family Economy. We’ve adopted a version of this for our family too. My kids are 10, 8, 4 and twin babies and it’s worked really well! It’s simple but it addresses what you mentioned about some things not being included in allowance. I love how it teaches my kids to save $, how much things cost and ultimately helps to get rid of any type of entitlement trap.
Diana says
While my kids are too little to earn an allowance yet (3 and 1), I have thought about it for when they get older. Personally, I think kids should have responsibilities that they should just be expected to do without pay, like you said- making their bed, cleaning up their toys, homework, laundry, maybe taking care of pets too- like feeding the cat/dog. But there are other “big” chores to do to earn an allowance, such as cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning the floors, vacuuming, dusting, etc. One thing I am working on with my 3-year old is getting her to help fold her own laundry and put it away herself, which at this age she actually thinks is fun!! 🙂
Emily says
We never got allowances as kids, but times certainly are different. I started earning money as a kid by taking care of neighbors pets and babysitting (I was in 6th grade but would never hire someone that young to babysit now). We were expected to do all the chores around the house and did not get paid for them. I guess in exchange we received things from our parents, but honestly we really only got things for birthdays and Christmas. My parents were super frugal and that mentality has passed on to me which is maybe one of the best things they could teach me. Not sure how to do it now, but I have some time to figure it out.
Rachelle Sims says
We’ve always been big fans of Dave Ramsey and he has some great stuff for kids about teaching these very things. For our house, my daughter is responsible for some chores because she has the privilage of living here 🙂 and all the family has to pitch in around the house But if she does things outside her normal chores she can earn money. She’s 15 and is wanting a car and she’s always known that we’ll match $ for $ what she saves for a car / that way she has some “skin in the game” so to speak and will most likely drive it more cautiously/be more careful with it since she paid for half. And now when we have larger purchases (school clothes etc) she gets a set amount of money and has to budget it to get what she needs/wants on her list… once the money is gone its gone unless she wants to use her money to keep going. I’m trying to slowly let her learn to save vs spend/ have some freedom within a set boundary (ie a budget) , opportunity costs etc.
Melody says
I don’t have children, but I really appreciate the way my parents taught me about money through allowance/chores growing up. We had a monthly amount ($25 for example), and we would have to tithe first, save some, and the rest we could use/save for a fun thing we wanted. I did have to make my own bed, etc. but the things we got paid for was doing the dishes, vacuuming, and other home chores like that. For us, it wasn’t a matter of us getting paid if we did the chore or not… we HAD to do the chores. We weren’t allowed to play with our friends if we didn’t finish our chores, so we knew to get them done. If we didn’t get our dishes done in time, we would have to also wash the dishes for the NEXT meal too (which was torture enough to get them done when they were supposed to be done). haha 🙂
TJ Kirkpatrick says
Read the book “The Opposite of Spoiled”. My girls are 7 and 5 and we started allowances at the beginning of the year. No more begging for things from the Dollar Spot at Target. I just say, “do you have any money in your “Spend” jar to buy something?” We do a dollar for each year they are old. So, $7 per week to my 7-year old. $5 goes into a “Spend” jar, $2 goes into a “Save” jar and $1 goes into a “Give” jar. If they’re not keeping up with their responsibilities (keeping room clean, putting away their laundry, emptying dishwasher), then there is potential to lose some of their allowance. Usually, it just takes a threat of taking their money. I’ve only actually had to take some out once.
April says
I am a Mom of five grown sons and we did not pay them to do chores, but instead paid for good grades. We believe being a participating member of the family/household is part of life. A’s were worth a dollar unless you got straight A’s then they were worth five dollars. It worked well for us. Cause let’s face it…even as adults, we would all love to be paid to make the bed 😉
Ann Reedy says
There are so many comments and I haven’t had time to read them all so I apologize if this is a duplicate. We loved this book for advice on children and money. Well worth a read.
https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Spoiled-Raising-Grounded-Generous-ebook/dp/B00KAC65PW/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525805898&sr=1-1&keywords=unspoiled+child
Casey says
We had a well-known pediatrician come and speak at our church. He gave his children each and appropriate amount of money for their age per week. He said he always kept necessities such as shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, etc. But if the children wanted a specialty item then they had to go out and buy it. He said he also took them clothes shopping for school every year but if the kids wanted some expensive Namebrand items they had to go out and buy it. He also said that if a chore wasn’t done then he would charge them out of the allowance for him to do it. And he said it was very expensive for a pediatrician to make your bed, ha ha! So basically they learn really quick if the expensive shampoo or jeans were worth using the money. They also had to use that money for any movies, books, Friends birthday presents, gas when they could drive, etc. if you can be disciplined enough I think that is a great idea and one that I am starting with my children.
Megan says
We had “family chores” which were chores we had to for jist because we were part of the family: setting the table, dirty clothes in hamper, etc and then we had “house chores” which we got an allowance for. We got our age in dollars. So, as an 8yo I got $8 and my house chores were appropriate for an 8yo, my siblings got their age too and intensity of chores were adjusted as you got older. We had to have our chores done by 12pm on Saturdays- if we did, we got our allowance. If we didn’t, we still had you do the chores but didn’t get the $$. Once we got the money, we had to go get our three wallets/piggy banks and split up the allowance: 10% to church, 50% to savings, 40% for spending/wet n wild nail polish (am I aging myself?!) and then it was cool to bring our wallet to the bank or to church and give that money. I’m 31 now and have kids and honestly tithing Hasn’t ever felt super hard. Same with saving. As I got older and got oddball jobsX the 10/50/40 rule applied and I’ve continued bat on into adulthood. I 100% attribute that to the relationship my parents fostered among us with earning money and divvying it up. I plan to do the same with my kids!
Skylar Nance says
I’m 20 and a college student so I can only give examples of my own experience. My parents are WONDERUL parents. However, if I could have changed one thing it would be that my parents made us do chores. We were expected to clean our rooms and do our own personal things but it wasn’t until I was older I realized how few things I knew how to do, such as laundry. I think you have the right mindset of paying them for around the house chores but not for keeping their room clean, etc.
carol says
In our home chores and allowances are separate.
The allowance is given as a way to make the children aware of money,how to use it,spend it,save it,donate it. Chores around the house are expected being a useful member of both the home and society. I never want the children to expect doing something extra means a monetary reward,when it should really be coming from the heart, This works well for us.
Amy T says
Growing up we didn’t get paid for doing household chores, those were required of us. But, my dad let us wash his work truck once a week and pay us to do it. My dad also got work shirts dry cleaned and I got paid a nickel a shirt to unwrap them from the plastic and pair them up and hang them in his closet. When we got a little older, my two sisters and I started baking banana bread, and my dad would sell it to his coworkers. I think by having to work for any money we wanted, we learned the value of hard work and saving. Today all my siblings and myself are hard workers and pretty independent adults.
Liz says
My parents started giving us an allowance each week that amounted to how old we were. So, if I was 10, I got $10 a week but ONLY if I had completed the chores I was assigned. During the summer, my mom would make a list of extra chores (that fell outside of our regular responsibilities) that could be done for additional money. For example, she might pay me $5 to sweep/wash pollen off the porch.
Lindsey says
Smart Money Smart Kids is an excellent book for teaching your kids about money and addresses this topic. Advice for kids of all ages too!
Trisha says
I am sending you an email with something a mentor of mine shared with me. It is REALLY good, and addresses all the same issues/questions you brought up! Please check your email! I think you will really like it, and we have been doing it with our 6 year old for about a year and it’s been working really well!
Carrie says
My girls have chores and they do not get paid for them. In the summer I add extra chores and they may earn points for extra privileges or to trade in for money. My girls are ages 7 and 10. I know you just asked for your older kids but we start with chores young, at age 3. By age 7 the expectation is that you are doing your own laundry (washer, dryer, fold, in drawers and closet). At age 3 they start learning where items go, then folding, etc. Both my girls are pros at laundry and many parents are shocked that my youngest does her own laundry. They clean their bathroom, take turns wiping the bathroom sink and counter top every day, set the table, feed the fish, pick up after themselves, dust and vacuum their rooms, handle the trashcans, and empty lunches and water bottles. There are other things that come up along the way and I might be forgetting a few things. Now for extra things I will pay. My oldest cleaned 3 bathrooms for 6 months and I paid her $25 a week. My husband thought that was steep but she literally cleaned all 3 bathrooms, including showers, etc. I was sad when she earned enough money and was done!!
I have thought about saving money for charity and savings but for the most part both of my girls are savers and I have taught them the art of buying used and they have picked it up. We do donate to charities and they participate and we volunteer. I believe more in giving your time rather then money. But instead of birthday gifts at parties they have always collected things for a charity and at Christmas we also donate something in honor of their Sunday school teachers. We let the girls pick and contribute. This year they actually did not chose any charity we had discussed. We have friends that have 5 children, 3 adopted. Their newest son Kai is missing both legs below the knee and has many other needs. The girls immediately told us they wanted to help them with his medical expenses. I just say this because I think they are indirectly learning both saving and giving and we work on smart purchases. I actually include them when I make major purchases and we talk about which deals are the best. Their school participates in Junior Achievement which has always been a great talking point. I do plan to start the conversation with my 10 year old about ways to use your money and show her about investments, etc. Not sure if this helps.
Jules says
This has come up for me to. I will do my best to explain what I do with my son below, however I could be doing it all wrong myself.
My son does not earn money for his chores. His chores are to clean his room, help with his laundry, take out the trash and sweep the bathroom. He is 6 going on 7 this summer. He also does not earn money for helping more with other tasks. It is just him and I in our household, and I struggle with finding that balance of helping to help and helping because you get something out of it.
However, he does get opportunities to earn money helping with jobs outside of the chore realm. I house sit or pet sit here and there, and if he is helpful with the tasks he gets paid. If he helps sort things or put together materials for my classroom, he gets paid. If he helps a neighbor with an odd job, or something, he gets paid. Or if he wants to earn money for something specific, we find a task that he can do regularly to meet that.
I am sure that not every household has those extra opportunities to distinguish between family chore and a job. But, finding those extra opportunities outside of “being apart of a family” help me feel better about the balance.
Shay, maybe it would work for you to find something related to your blog and other businesses, that they could help with an earn money? Maybe its the posing for pictures, ideas, testing recipes, putting stamps on envelopes (does anyone do that anymore?), etc.
Cherise says
We did something very similar for my kids. However, the one exception I made was that I bought all the books they wanted. I actually still let my now young adult children buy any book they want to read on my Amazon account! My parents did the same for me growing up (we didn’t have a good library) and I just really appreciated it and think it contributed to my love of reading and, later, my kids’ love of reading.
jen says
We went through several different variations until we found what worked for us, and with a few revisions, we’re still doing it and my kids are in high school now. On Sunday, they get their allowance in a glass jar in bills and quarters. The amount weekly matched their age (through middle school and then it started being their age plus their grade). You had your “part of being your family chores” and a list of things to do for the week – and always one “Mama or Daddy needs your special help job.” Mine had a joint list and they could divide them up between each other however they wanted. If you complained about doing any work, you had to go take $ out of your jar, arguing same, dawdling on doing jobs for week same. The first couple of weeks they both lost a TON of $ (and they really hardly ever fight) . By the 3rd week they have it down. Now that they’re in high school our son also gets a gas allowance during the season he’s playing sports. He also has a part time job with just 10-15 hours per week.
My biggest advice is this: from the photos you show, I gather you live in an area similar to mine. You’re already the exception that you’re even thinking about it. Stand firm. I will admit that I still feel badly when my son is out with friends and everyone else has their parents credit cards, but I just soldier on. Stick to your guns!
Krista says
I keep hearing about a “Family Economy” and it sounds like it would be in alignment with the feelings you are already experiencing! I would selfishally LOVE to have you try it out and teach us all how to do it!!!!
Katie says
My favorite book on this topic is Raising Financially Confident Kids by Mary Hunt. She suggests a “salary” (real world relevant) of whatever their age is in dollar amount per month. (8 years=$8). You earn this salary by doing all chores required like making bed, tidying up, etc. And special age appropriate Saturday jobs. If all is done well throughout the month, you earn your salary, just like you would earn at a real life job. If not, the salary is withheld. We have LOVED this method and her book. It takes entitlement right out of the picture! Another book I’m obsessed with is Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled Word by Kristen Welch. I can’t remember if I heard about it from you!?? SO GOOD!
Kristin says
Time Well Spent by Jodie Norton. She has a blog also(timewellspent.today). Some of the best ideas for raising kids and how to incorporate chores and build confident children I’ve ever read.
Stephanie says
We are huge Dave Ramsey fans. We follow his plan for adults and kids. There are certain things our kids must do and other things they can do to earn money. We do not let them do any of the extra until their responsibilities are taken care of. We have one day a week that we pay them. They then divide their money into saving, spending, and giving. It has worked great so far!
Kathleen says
I love Dave Ramsey’s view on “commission” vs. allowance. Here’s a link to an article on it: https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/why-kids-shouldnt-get-an-allowance
Amanda Garrertt says
I only pay my kids for jobs when there is something they are dying to have and are willing to do extra things to earn for it. I pay them for doing things outside of their normal family responsibilities like: babysitting siblings, weeding the yard, raking leaves, etc. We also pay our older kids for their grades. My daughter in high school works hard and usually has straight A’s. When she wants something within reason, I just get it for her knowing she works so hard at “her job”. My kids all have laundry they help with, dishwasher duty, clean up the playroom, feed the dog, do the dishes, etc. without payment. I don’t give out money on a regular or weekly basis for chores.
Sherry Kenney says
My kids are 8 and 11 and recently we’ve tried something new with chore time. We make a little list of their chores that need to be completed that night….and then we set the timer for 30 minutes and I go take a bath! I usually read a book for a few minutes or just relax. We realized the kids would eventually get all the chores done and there was no reason for me to hear them do it (as in any arguing between them) and feel the need to police them. It’s not perfected yet, but we are getting there! Tonight when we got home from soccer, they immediately asked if I could make their list. We often make a plan to watch something together after the timers go off and they are finished. And bonus, I’ve read more books and I’m more relaxed when it’s time to put them to bed 🙂
Nicole says
We have an 11,8 and 5 year old. All 3 of my kids are expected to make their beds, pick up/clean their rooms etc. My older 2 have paid chores for example, my 11 year old empties the trash and takes the trash can to curb each week, clears the dishes each night and empties dishwasher. My middle takes recycling out and helps clear dinner table including wiping it down after dinner. My littlest pushes the chairs in, she also helps”dust” but she’s a little to young to give complete jobs to. Every time our kids ask for “stuff” , we say you can have it but you have to buy it with your money. It’s amazing how quickly they don’t really want it anymore.
Meg says
Ok, at the recommendation of Lee at Do. Say. Give. We use faith and finances for kids and we LOVE IT!!!! It’s a wonderful system that has a biblical philosophy, all the details worked out (like how much money for what age and how much goes in each category) and you can even buy all the supplies off of their website. Game changer. It even has the kids pay you taxes twice a year! It’s do-able and has clear instructions for parents and my kids love it too! Can be tweaked to your family, but it just is so helpful to have a starting place…not as overwhelming!
http://faithandfinancesforkids.com/
Brooke Gregg says
Read The Opposite of Spoiled!!!
Angellica Kucinski says
When I was a kid, my mom would give me $1 every time I got an A on a test (: it made me more motivated to study. I also did extra things around the house such as cleaning up the yard or wiping down/windexing the coffee table/end tables throughout the house! Anything not included in my daily chore list for me a couple extra bucks and I loved it!
Leslie says
Our kids have responsibilities that they need to take care of because we’re all part of our family so we all need to chip in. We also want them to learn about money- setting goals, saving, etc. I read a book, The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Leiber, that helped me set up a system that works for our family. Our kids do their chores everyday and do not get paid for them. They do, however, get a weekly allowance based on their age. We’ve been using this system for about a year and it has worked beautifully for our family.
Angie says
I share the same philosophy as you, we do not pay our kids for doing dinner dishes, cleaning their rooms, etc. I don’t get paid to maintain the home we live in so why should they? There is allowance for the “extras” like you said. Pulling weeds in the garden, washing our cars, things like that. We also let our kids barter back and forth a little as well, like if my daughter wants to hang out with her friends but it’s her night for dishes, then she can work that out with one of her brothers for whatever they feel is a fair trade. Sometimes it’s for money, others it just trading a chore or a day. My kids are all over 13 though, so a little different. Money management is such an important skill that so many don’t teach their kids…I think it’s great to see you and so many others who want their kiddos to learn the value of money!
Jenny says
THIS! This *free* spreadsheet has revolutionized my family’s allowance game. I struggled for years with the actual mechanics of the entire process (actual cash in piggy banks, paper money, notes on my phone); however, I always felt the system fell short in accomplishing a main objective of ours, which was money management. I cannot sing the praises of this tool enough. My kids are learning about money management, savings, interest – the whole shebang.
http://blog.famzoo.com/2015/08/boost-your-kids-money-iq-spreadsheet.html
For reference: In our home, chores are expected contributions that each family member makes and are not tied to money. Allowance is paid weekly – $1 per year of age. We designate a percentage to savings & charitable donations. All done with ease via the spreadsheet!!!
Susan says
http://www.71toes.com/2012/11/a-money-system-that-works.html
Someone mentioned this blog before. The system they use, actually all of her blog is inspirational. I think you would enjoy many aspects..especially the travel and parenting.
Melody Byrd says
One other thing! We always give our kids their allowance in one dollar bills! They keep their money in a big jar in their room so its full of ones and then when they need to get money for church or when they want to buy something its easy to see how much you are grabbing. Sometimes they want an app that I don’t want to pay for and they are usually just a few dollars so its easy when they have ones and can easily give me the correct amount! Just another idea!
Jennifer says
We have used Accountable Kids (check out their website) and this great box that helps them save/spend/help others. There are a ton of cute designs and varieties on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Piggy-Trio-Bank-Educational/dp/B01ACTIY4M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525895542&sr=8-1&keywords=save++share+help+money+box
Suzanne Hines says
I haven’t read all the comments, so I am assuming I’ll be echoing a lot of other Moms here! Last May we took in a 10 year old through foster care…let’s just say the learning curve was steep and we STILL haven’t figured it out! Our girlie came from a completely different background, and her family did not operate in any ways that are similar to how our family operates.
That being said, she learned fairly quickly that we have expectations- she cleans her room, cleans her bathroom, folds and puts away her own laundry and does the family dishes. Sometimes we will play a little game in which she cleans her bathroom and I inspect it, then I clean my bathroom and she gets to inspect it (she LOVES this).
Every week, she receives an allowance. Since she is part of our family (even just temporarily), we expect her to do chores, but she also gets some of money that our family makes. She has to give some, save some and can spend the rest.
For a while, we tried to incentivize her to be a hard work (my husband and I are sun-up to sun-down workers, not so where she came from) by saying we would gladly pay her extra to do extra chores. She had no motivation to make any money. I would put the dollar bills in front of her, give her the option to complete a fairly simple task, and she would flat-out not be interested. So then we switched the incentive to screen time. She is now completely in charge of earning her own screen time by completing extra chores, her homework (she needed a lot of help with motivation and organization to get homework done), having a good attitude, etc. It’s like living with a completely different person when we found the incentive that works for her. She is always wanting to do extra chores, help me , and has really been keeping her attitude more in check since we started that.
NOW, I would love a child who behaves like that without an external reward. That’s my dream child 🙂 However, we are hoping that having an external motivation will eventually lead her to see that working hard and having a good attitude also have lots of benefits (besides earning screen time), and hopefully it will eventually turn into intrinsic motivation (even if that is not for YEARS when she is an adult…remember we are working with a child who has not had 10 years of prior training in anything, really).
Kacy Mah says
Growing up my brother and I did household chores and had zero allowance. As I got older I realized I was the only person in my friend group who didn’t get money. Some friends even got money for doing nothing! Our mom was strict and didn’t buy us toys or “things” we wanted/begged for but my dad was more lenient and would buy us something we really wanted under reasonable prices (ex. gel pens, books, cute t shirts). But now as an adult I didn’t mind not having an allowance bc I do the same chores now and no one pays me. And I turned out a lot less spoiled than some of my other friends. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with allowance, but like you said it’s a fine line!
Ashley Casto says
Not even kidding – I just read through every. Single Comment. And took a big page crammed full of notes. This comment thread is solid gold. Thanks for starting the conversation. Much of what my parents did is similar to what’s already above. But one thing they did differently was to start me early with my own checking account. Not even kidding, I’m pretty sure I got my account in 7th grade! They supervised closely and taught me to balance my checkbook. Such a good lesson! And then I got my first credit card in 9th grade – again with tons of supervision. These both set me up for significant financial responsibility later in life. I received a monthly allowance, learned to budget and plan ahead, and always paid my credit card in full each month – all habits I continue to this day.
Linsey Driskill says
Hi! Thank you for your article. It seems like we both think pretty similarly regarding allowance. I just wrote a detailed post on a system that has started worked so far for my 7-year-old triplets. Here it is if you’d like to check it out: https://linseydriskill.com/2018/05/14/tips-on-how-to-do-allowance/
Meredith says
TOTALLY agree with your approach that making your bed, doing your homework, etc. is just part of life and being a legitimate citizen of society. You shouldn’t get rewarded for items like that… it’s just what you have to do (which is such a valuable lesson to learn!). Now, I think mowing the lawn or going out of their way to do something extra should be paid an allowance – something that’s not part of a day-to-day routine. I don’t believe in being rewarded for good grades (should be expected)… or the WORST: being paid for scoring goals/points in sporting events, dance classes, etc.
Jaren says
Hey Shay! Catching up on your blog this morning, and I love all the suggestions on this post! I struggle with this issue myself. One thing that I like to do is have the kids earn some of their free time for the day after they take care of personal responsibilities: picking up their rooms/bathrooms, self-grooming, daily reading, etc. Once they do these things, they get to have their iPad or go play with a neighbor, etc. I separate these things from house responsibilities. They do get a small allowance for unloading/loading dishwasher, folding laundry, etc. They keep a log in a little book where they write down the chore and the amount (like 50 cents for unloading the dishes). That way when they want something from Amazon or Target, we look at how much they’ve earned and they “cash in” on what they want.
You may really want to check out this post at Mel’s Kitchen Cafe:
https://www.melskitchencafe.com/friday-thoughts-4/
Oh my word! She has some great methods with her five kiddos! I love that she’s trying to raise kids who aren’t entitled and will understand how to be a contributing member of a family/society.
Have a great Sunday!