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I'm Shay! I’m a cookbook author, lifestyle blogger, travel agency owner, wife and mama who loves making every day special for my family.

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Mix & Match Mama

Shay ·

Enneagram.


Ohhhh!  I’m excited because today we’re going to chat about my new favorite topic…Enneagram.

I know.

I’m surprised too.

Let’s back up and then we’ll go forward.  Just FYI, this is probably a PART 1 kind of a post because I’m hoping to read more books (recs please!), learn more and then we can come back and discuss again.  Plus, there isn’t really a point to this post, it’s more just me saying “hey, this is interesting to me, anyone else interested too?”.

Sound good?

Good.

Backing up to the beginning…

…one of my besties Jeni has been talking about the nine Enneagram types for over a year now.  She read some books, she started researching, she was/is obsessed.  I listened, I participated in the convos, I didn’t “get it”, but I was aware of the idea.  I mean numbers that describe your personality.  Cool.  Everyone says I’m an 8, so I’ll go ahead and be an 8.  Easy peasy.

But then…last spring, we were all stuck inside and for some reason, SO MANY OF YOU wanted Andrew and me to both take the online quizzes to get our exact Enneagram numbers and corresponding info…

…so, we did.  We took the tests, and it said we were both 8s.

Awesome.

Two 8s!  That’s so cool.

And then I told you guys and the feedback CRACKED ME UP!

Basically the feedback was along the lines of “you’re too nice to be an 8 and how do you stay married if you’re both 8s”.  Hmmmmm…that’s weird.

I asked Jeni, and she was very much “Yes, you’re both 8s but make sure you take THIS TEST here for more in-depth information plus read these books…”.

So, I in February, I read…

…The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery and my mind was BLOWN!  (You can read the review HERE.) I started (and finished) the book when…

…Erika and I were in Walt Disney World, and I swear to you, I was reading it out loud to her.  I couldn’t help myself.  I just thought it was so fascinating, so as I would read, I would go “oh, Erika, listen to this blah, blah, blah”, and I basically read her the entire book.  I came home all chatty about it, so now, everyone in my family is talking about Enneagram numbers from my parents to my kids to my friends.

In Miami…

…Andrew read it while we were at the beach, and he was reading it out loud to me.  Bahahahaha!  I kept saying “Andrew, I just read it” and he was all “I can’t help it, just listen to this part”.  Needless to say, we talk about this funny little test quite a bit, so I thought it was worth mentioning here in blog world.

First, I know so many people have heard sermons about why Christians shouldn’t buy into Enneagram numbers, read books about it, etc, but for me, anything I can read that can better help me understand other people and how I can speak into their lives the way they need to be spoken to with the sensitivity (or maybe bluntness) that works best for them, is only going to help me be a better follower of Jesus.  This is not a religion, I do not place any faith or spirituality into these numbers, but I really, really, really think it has helped me communicate better with people because I have a better insight into their personality and how mine can conflict/complement it.

So, this isn’t going to be a post about faith, that’s another topic, this is a post about personalities and how I think it’s cool that I can now see that my mom likes it better if you’re direct with her.  She doesn’t want you to be super sensitive, she wants the facts and she wants directness.  Cool.  I like that too.  I can now see better how when I approach my dad like that (hey, he’s my parent too, can’t I talk the same way to him?), he is put off because he is more creative, more sensitive and needs an entirely different approach.  On the flipside, when my dad (and again, I’m just using them as examples but this applies to so many people I love) approaches me in a more sentimental way, that’s his best way of communicating, so I need to recognize that.  He’ll never be the super direct, blunt, say what’s on his mind guy, he’s going to be the creative, cool, a little out there guy…that’s awesome.  I can see that better now.

Does this make any sense?

As I was writing this post, I looked up funny Enneagram memes.  My mom is an 8 and my dad is a 2, so this made me LOL…

…in a nutshell, my parents.  Bahahahaha!

Okay, so I blabbered on a bit, but really the bottom line is that I’m late to the Enneagram party.  I’m sure all of you are already all over this topic, so please tell me what I should read next or how it’s helped you just to understand and communicate with your friends and family better.  It was a legit lightbulb moment for me when I read the book and understood each of the nine personality types more. By becoming more aware of my 8 self , it’s helped me realize that not everyone responds well to an 8, and that I should try and find qualities in other people so that I know better how to communicate with them.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can read what each personality/number type means HERE.   I thought this explained it really well.  I have done several free online tests and gotten the same results that I did when I took THIS ONLINE TEST (that costs $12).

When I did do that online test, here were my results:

Type 8, The Challenger 30
Type 1, The Reformer 21
Type 6, The Loyalist 18
Type 3, The Achiever 17
Type 2, The Helper 14
Type 5, The Investigator 12
Type 7, The Enthusiast 12
Type 4, The Individualist 10
Type 9, The Peacemaker 10
When Andrew did the exact same test, here were his results:
Type 8, The Challenger 28
Type 1, The Reformer 24
Type 3, The Achiever 19
Type 5, The Investigator 17
Type 6, The Loyalist 15
Type 7, The Enthusiast 15
Type 2, The Helper 12
Type 4, The Individualist 8
Type 9, The Peacemaker 6
Isn’t that interesting?  We’re both super similar which is probably one of the reasons why our marriage works so well, and then it also probably explains why sometimes, our marriage doesn’t work so well.  Ha!
So, tell me…thoughts?  Books I should read?  I’m just super curious about this topic now, so please comment and chat with me.
Happy Thursday, friends!! xo
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Comments

  1. Kelly says

    When I first learned about Enneagrams, I read “The Sacred Enneagram” which explains how Christianity does play into it. I also went a little overboard with this personality test. It got to the point that I know all of my family’s numbers, my son’s girlfriend, her mom, my nieces, my co-workers…lol! It’s definitely a rabbit hole, but I do like understanding what makes each one of them tick.

    • Edna says

      I finally took the free test last week after my daughter has been asking to do it for a long while ago. I was surprised with the result. I’m type 5 (98%) when I thought I was type 8 (93%), which was a very close second. After thinking about it, there’s some truth to it. Now I’m hooked and want to read more about enneagram. I also want to convince my siblings and friends to take it so I can better understand them. Thank you Shay for sharing this topic ?

  2. Kristin says

    We did these at work one day in order to understand each other and work on our conflicts. I’m a 5 with a 6 wing (it’s like the worse person to be lol). I always try to skew my results on any personality test and every time it comes out the same. Another interesting one is the colors.

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Well, everyone says I’m the worst one to be, so I’ll give you grace 😉 .

  4. Holly says

    Okay so this was me two years ago I did a deep dive in everything enneagram. I found out I was a 9. Everything made sense to me sloth mode, running from conflict, never wanting to share my personal feelings…ect. Some of these things really bothered me so I started working in them being more organized, dealing with conflict straight on now I look like a 1 on the outside but I’m a 9 on the inside lol.
    I love that enneagram gave me the chance to work on issues I didn’t even know I was having and understand myself so much better. My pet peeve about the enneagram is when someone uses your number against you or as a weapon. Like when I want to stay in and I’m told to stop being a 9….I’m also an introvert and need time alone to recoup. I guess this is why they tell you not to share your number but in the beginning I was just so darn excited about it.

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Erika is a nine! It’s been so eye-opening to both of us to evaluate our friendship/work relationship now that we’re both way more aware of our personality types!

  5. Sheaffer Sims says

    You went from not interested to an enneagram enthusiast. Is that typical of an 8? When are you going to read the book aloud to me?

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Bahahaha! Yes, yes it is. My sweet friend, you are a six. You don’t need to read the book. 😉

  6. Kristin says

    I have benefitted a lot from Annie F. Downs podcast “That Sounds Fun”. Each summer she does a Enneagram-summer series where she interviews people that are certain numbers. It’s fascinating listening to people with my same number and how we are different and alike. It’s also intriguing to listen to all the other numbers too (each number is a different podcast episode).

  7. Lisa says

    Any free test recommendations? I was curious about this as well so thank you for this post!

  8. Sherry Kenney says

    Isn’t it interesting?!?! Years ago my husband and I attended a thing at our church on the enneagram and marriage and it has really been such a helpful tool!! I’m a 9 here!

  9. Kate says

    The Enneagram has been life changing for me, too. It has helped me understand myself and my spouse, kids, family, etc! The Do It For The Gram podcast is really good.

  10. Laura says

    Enneagram talk is so fun! I’m a 9 and hubs is a 3. We are very different but a great match! I’ve honestly had more luck finding good podcasts on the subject. Annie F. Downs has an “Ennea-Summer” series each year and it’s worth going back into the archives and listening to it, especially the episodes on your number! As you grow in your knowledge of the types, learning about the arrows of each number (where you go in health vs where you go in stress) is very illuminating! When I’m growing, a lot of my 9 qualities look like healthy 3 qualities (my hub’s type). When I’m in stress, I can look like an unhealthy 6 (indecisive and anxious). That has been really helpful to me. Like you, I love learning more about the people in my life and how to better relate to them.

    • Katie Buchholz says

      Another vote for podcasts – I have personally enjoyed the Annie F. Downs enneagram series and The Enneagram Journey by Suzanne Stabile.

  11. Kelly Marie Sites says

    I am pretty sure there is a Podcast with the people who wrote The Road Back to You. FYI

  12. Katie says

    The enneagram is such a helpful tool!:)

    Enneagram and the Way of Jesus by AJ Sherrill. It reads a bit more “academicy” (part of his dissertation), but I definitely recommend!

    https://www.amazon.com/Enneagram-Way-Jesus-Integrating-Personality/dp/153754103X

    Also, there is a book titled: “The Path Between Us” that is I haven’t read, but it looks good!

    Dr. Tom LaHue also has many YouTube videos on the Enneagram and does a great job taking all all numbers… highly recommend!!! He is a Christ follower.

    Happy discovering / reading! 🙂

  14. Erin F says

    I read Self to Lose, Self to Find which does bring in a Biblical approach to the enneagram. I loved it! It was very eye opening and crazy how a little number could describe my personality so well!

  15. kari says

    I find enneagram so interesting–proud 9 here! Obviously, the majority of your readers do not know you IRL, we only know you as you present yourself on the internet. Based on your blog, I would have bet my life on the fact you were a strong 3–it describes you to a T. It’s all so fascinating.

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      People had STRONG opinions about me being an 8…unless they know me in “real life” and then, they’re all like “yeah, you’re an 8”. I don’t know?! That’s what propelled me to dig deeper! I wanted to see the differences.

  16. Molly says

    I love the ennegram! It’s so interesting to me and it’s hard not to tell people what number they are, but I like to guess in my head 🙂 The Path Between Us is a great book that highlights relationships within the ennegram and I love listening to podcasts – Typology, Your Ennegram Coach and Ennegram and Coffee (also a good follow on insta). Annie Downs does ennegram summer and has great conversations between guests of the same ennegram number on her That Sounds Fun podcast. Glad you are enjoying learning and I love how you and Andrew were reading the book aloud to people…I did the same thing, ha!

  17. Stacy says

    Annie F. Downs’s podcast “That Sounds Fun” has had quite a few really great Enneagram episodes that I think you’d find interesting. I had my 21 yo daughter read that book (as have I) and it has really led to some great talks. There is also an enneagram book for college-age kids called Millenneagram. My daughter said it was a shorter/easier read that hit on the types and gave life examples that were more focused for their age group. She liked it for a fun read, but REALLY liked The Road Back To You better.
    Love your blog and praying for Ashby!

  18. Clarinda says

    I took a test around the time my dad died and I was a 9 then I took it again today and it was a 3. Is that normal?

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Did you take the same test of different tests? I would take a third one to see what it says. I’m so sorry about your dad. Sending you a big virtual hug right now. xx

    • Laurie says

      Not to hijack, but each number goes to a different type in stress. I just checked, and it says that 3s in stress often go toward a 9, so that could explain the discrepancy. Having walking with my husband through his father’s death, I know it can take a real toll for a while, which can explain the 9. Just a thought that might explain the confusion! My friends and I have been really into this, if you couldn’t tell.

    • Jayne says

      9 and 3 are related to one another (if you look at an Enneagram diagram, there are arrows between them) so that’s not surprising. 3s move into their 9-ness when they are in stress, which would certainly fit your situation. If you can delve deeper with a class, this will make a lot more sense to you lol.

    • Katie Buchholz says

      Yes! They are within the same “triad” (3,6,9) I am a three but within times of stress I vascillate to a 9. They dive deeper into this in the book.

    • Kira says

      So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. 3s are actually the type that mistype themselves the most – 3 is the “chameleon” number. Jen Hatmaker (she’s a 3) did a great interview with Lisa Welchel (also a 3) and it was very insightful, and I think they talked on that podcast about 3s mistypying themselves. The Enneagram Institute test is actually the best online available, and it’s well worth the $12. I mistyped twice taking free tests, and got the right result with the EI test. I’m a 2, but I mistyped as a 1 (that’s one of my wings) and a 4 (that’s the number 2s become more like as they get more emotionally healthy) before I took the EI test. “The Road Back to You” is also a great reference book, and very easy to read. Each number gets a chapter, and at the start of each chapter is a list of traits that describe that number and makes it much easier to identify which type you are if you’re still not sure.

  19. Monique says

    Welcome to the party! Check out the Typography podcast. It’s by the same guy who wrote Road Back to You. Sounds like you have a great perspective on how to use enneagram to understand yourself and others better and therefore build better relationships. As a fellow believer just be aware to not use it to justify sinful behavior. Like saying, “Well I’m an enneagram __, so I can’t help but be this way or do that.” Enneagram can be a lot about “you”. After all, the title of the book is The Road Back to “You”. Lol! But as followers of Jesus, he is never about himself. There’s a great place for enneagram in our lives to help us become better followers by understanding who God created us and others to be but we can easily get so caught up in ourselves that we become the focus. Again, sounds like you have a great perspective on using enneagram to build better relationships—keep that perspective to protect you from getting caught up in the “me” that can lead to self-justified behaviors, self-preserving, self-righteousness, self-satisfaction, etc. Thanks for sharing! Enjoy the journey! 🙂

  20. Francesca says

    Hi Shay! Can you link that bracelet you’re wearing in the pic out to dinner with Andrew? I love it! Thanks!

  21. Kayla Bruce says

    Love that you’re getting into this and that you loved Road Back to You! My husband and I are both ones (you can probably relate to some of that), and like you said, it really works until sometimes it doesn’t work so well. Ha. The kind of companion book to Road Back to You is The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile. It’s ALL about relationships with the other types, so I think you’ll love it!

  22. Lindsay says

    Suzanne Stabile’s podcast The Enneagram Journey is awesome. There are several episodes that I have listened to multiple times. The enneagram has been very enlightening for me to understanding relationships (hubby and friends).

  23. Sarah Madsen says

    I am so fascinated by this, too! I am a 3 through and through and it TOTALLY explains me! Very success driven, 100% people-pleaser, wanting to look good in the eyes of others. I am trying to get those close to me on the enneagram train too because I would like to know how to best communicate with them! So obsessed and can’t wait to see what my future spouse is because you bet I will be making him take the test! 😉

  24. Erika Slaughter says

    Hahahahaha!!!! I don’t know why I keep saying I’m about to read that book because basically you’ve already read it read-aloud style for me! I love what you said about the Christian aspect part of it-yes! These Enneagrams aren’t giving anyone an excuse to be lazy, rude, or insensitive because that’s how our personalities are. But we can use them to be able to communicate better, share JESUS in ways that matter more to the recipient, and almost like the love languages-really help make something count in bigger ways for the recipient. Love you and your #8 self!

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Thank you for letting me read the entire book out loud. You are always THE SWEETEST! (And I saved you a book to read! Ha!)

      • Mix and Match Mama says

        She’s a 9 😉 . She’s taken the tests, I’m not just guessing. (But I totally see her as a 9!)

  25. Lisa Elliott says

    I work on a church staff and we had a speaker on a staff retreat who came and helped us all figure out our numbers and then we went over the characteristics. It helps so much to know someone else’s number when dealing with other personality types. It was cool to be in a room with people you see everyday and hear that a #1 tends to be a rule follower, etc. etc. (I’m a number 1) and then to hear that a #8 has other characteristics and then figuring out how you work together!

  26. Julie says

    I am so glad you did this post and gave us that website! On all the free tests, I have been a 1. But I took the $12 test, and I am a SIX. And, it is fascinating. I didn’t know but a six can sometimes SEEM like a one which makes so much sense. I have never read anything truer about my own personality. In fact, this test put into words thoughts and feelings I never would have even been able to describe on my own? I would just read it and be like YUP, that is 100% ME and I didn’t even know it. How cool! I’m going to have my husband take this!

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Ohhhh! Thank you for the feedback!! I’ve had several friends/family say the same thing. Mine has been consistent, but I’m glad you got different results!

  27. Kaytlin says

    I love stuff like this too! When I was in the corporate sales world, we did the DISC assessment which is similar. Like you said about the Ennneagram, learning about it helped me become a better communicator and connect better with others. They tell you to take the tests repeatedly over time because your life experiences can change you to where once-recessive traits can become more prominent, so taking the tests from time to time gives you a better pulse on how you are perceived. My husband is my opposite trait! When I took this test, my numbers were fairly even among all numbers, but 1 was my top! Fun post!

  28. Rachel says

    So interesting! I’m curious if anyone has an experience where you don’t “fit” into a type? I’m an EXTREME extrovert and have always enjoyed being goofy and making people laugh; however, I’m a detail-oriented, organized CPA. I’ve also always been very driven having been valedictorian, graduating college early with a 4.0, etc. I say that to say I just never feel that I “fit” a type with personality tests

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      In the book I referenced today, he talks quite a bit about that. I don’t want to misquote him, but he would say you’re a __ with a wing __ and that is what gives you the more complex personality.

    • Crystal McDonald says

      You also go to another personality in stress and in health. So you could be a 7 which goes to a 1 in health. That is organization and detail oriented. It’s complex. Not just you are this number.

  29. Leslie S says

    Took the free test – I’m an 8 too! (Followed by 1,5,6) Super interested now so I’m picking up this book to find out more! LOL my hubby will probably be ? if I start reading this aloud to him.

  30. Ronda says

    Funny that people would say Christians shouldn’t do Enneagram, I just finished a study on it with my church group! I totally agree, anything that can teach me how to better approach and communicate with others is a good thing! 🙂

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Yay!! Thank you for sharing! I’ve heard it numerous times, but I really think, for me, it’s done nothing but strengthen my walk with the Lord.

      • Carli Patton says

        I have read in Christian books about the Enneagram that, the beauty of this tool, is that each number is talented at showing off a facet of God’s character. It shows us how we reflect our creator while simultaneously showing us where we have opportunities to pray for growth. It has done nothing but give me a higher view of God and a gratitude for how He has helped me grow in my walk with Him.

      • Norine Erickson says

        Pastor Matt Brown from Sandals Church in Southern California has an excellent series of sermons about the enneagrams on YouTube. He connects each number to someone in the Bible and goes into details about what characterizes a “healthy” and “unhealthy” number. Our small group watched a sermon for nine weeks and found it tremendously helpful in our Christian walk.

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      Yes! I really think I’m a wing 8 😉 , but the results all say, I’m more wing 7!

  33. Natalie says

    That’s awesome! Yes I think I mentioned to you before my husband had his employees do the test that way he can understand their personalities so he can be a better boss! 🙂 the meme about your mom and dad cracks me up and in a way reminds me of my husband and I – he’s a 8 and I am 2. And all of that is SO true! LOL I might have to read the book ?

  35. Marisa Tompkins says

    I’m so glad you posted this! I have read so much on the Enneagram and I feel like it gives me more empathy towards people and how they approach situations differently from how I do. I’m a 1 and my way is the best way L. Go read the sacred Enneagram by Chris Heurtz He puts a Christian perspective on it and helps us use our Enneagram number to serve God in the way he designed us. You gain a deeper understanding of your bend towards sinful behaviors that can can hold you back from doing Gods work. . Plus it gives us freedom to let go of qualities we will never be or become and thrive in who we are!!

  36. Greta Schmidt says

    I am fascinated by the enneagram, too! I agree with you as a Christian that it is not what I put my faith in. It is just a tool for understanding and relating. It helps more figure out the motivation of your behavior instead excusing or supporting behavior. Like you were saying, it helps me understand where people are coming from! You would love the Annie F Downs podcasts where she interviews people with different numbers. She did that for several weeks over the last 2 summers.

  37. Laurie says

    Shay, I’m a 2 but my husband is an 8. Like as much of an 8 as you can be. None of our friends were surprised by that. Here’s the deal though, because I’m married to an 8 I see some of the hard parts but so much of the good. 8s are tenacious, honest, direct, goal-oriented, etc. My husband says it was an 8s idea to go to the moon. They often climb up high in organizations because they have the vision AND the follow through. Sure, there might be times where they’re abrasive, and my husband will play Devils Advocate for fun. Not because he’s a jerk, but because the debate is one way he connects with people. Don’t let negative comments about 8s get to you. People that think it’s negative just haven’t considered all the positives.

  38. Cris says

    These favorites may have already been mentioned, but the podcasts “Your Enneagram Coach” and “The Art of Growth” and the book “Self to Lose, Self to Find” have been helpful to me!

  39. Cris says

    Oh! and has anyone mentioned Leeann and Michelle’s Enneagram Funnies on Youtube? Hi-larious!

  40. Terri Jones says

    I love this review of the enneagram and the book! I took my first enneagram workshop in 2008….at our church…and guess who was the leader? Suzanne Stabile! Yes!!! I still feel so lucky to have learned from her way back when! I’m an 8…my husband is a 2 and knowing our numbers has been a huge help in our relationship and beyond. Cheers to being a fellow 8!

  41. Jayne says

    I’ve really enjoyed learning about the Enneagram and am participating now in a 6-week zoom class on The Path Between Us. If you can find an Enneagram class to take, I’d highly recommend it. You’ll be able to dig a lot deeper with a class I think. I’m a 9, which didn’t seem to fully describe me until I learned about my wings, my security number, and my stress number. That insight is so important! Being a peacemaker 9 who is heavily influenced by 8 and 1 wings (which kind of have opposite tendencies) is a wild ride at times. I agree with you that it helps you understand yourself and relate more effectively to others and is a wonderful study of how God intended us all to have different gifts and roles.

  43. Kara says

    Thank you for sharing this with all of us! I discovered Enneagram’s a few years ago and I wish I had known about it when my daughters were younger. I am a 2 and my youngest is an 8 and it would have been so helpful to understand how to speak and engage with her when she was younger. This completely changed how I communicate with her, family and friends! I haven’t read this book but have just added it to my cart! Thank you!

  44. Jeni says

    You know I love this post!!!! And 8s are some of my favorite people! Give it to me direct and get to the freaking point. Love you!

    • Natalie says

      I just literally LOL at this bc I am a 2 and hubby 8 and he always says “Nat get to the point” and it makes me so mad bc he is so right I am the worst at just getting to the point? then when he says “get to the point” I get so off my story or what I was saying and have to start all over

  45. Kim Anne Lennie says

    I took one of those free tests once and can’t remember what my number was but it was not me at all, so did not take great store in it and thought it to be another hokey pokey thing that was going around the internet. Maybe I should try this again since you are not the only one into this, I follow another blogger called Modern Mrs.Darcy and she is a book enthusiast, reviews books/recommends as well as she has written her own books on personalities etc., she also recommended doing this test. Her most recent book is called Don’t Over Think It. I guess I should try this again.

  46. Amanda says

    LOVE this! The enneagram has been such a great tool in our family. We had been around personality test before that were just enough information to be unhelpful. (My oldest daughter and I always tested the same in those and yet we are so different!
    She’s a 4 and I’m a 6 but we test identical on some of the other less intricate personality tests)
    We have learned SO MUCH about how to relate to one another. We also love Jesus and do not think this contradicts with that at all. I think it is a fantastic tool and it will be so interesting for you guys as you figure out your kids’ types.
    Also, just FYI….the online tests never typed me correctly…it took extensive reading and even just identifying with some words related to my number before we figured out my correct number. All that to say, folks might rely on more than the tests. I think this can be a bit more complicated and require a really well rounded understanding of all the types.

  48. Carolyn Becker says

    Fascinating-my results were exactly the same as Andrew. Thank you for recommendation of book

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      I’ve done “quizzes” on that before, but I cannot remember exactly what I am.

  51. Alyssa White says

    I loved listening to Jen Hatmakers podcast series on the enneagram! “For the Love”. Great series, super interesting guests!

  52. Devra Harden says

    You should read The Sacred Enneagram. It’s written by an 8 and from a Christian perspective.

  53. Rachel says

    Suzanne Stabile’s “The Path Between Us” is an excellent follow up to The Road Back to You and it’s focused on relationships with different numbers. I think you’d find it really interesting! I have also listened to SO MANY podcast episodes about the Ennegram and have gained a lot of knowledge that way. So fun!

  54. Rachel says

    I already commented once, haha, but The Ennegram Institute website has a lot of super interesting resources too. If you are ever wondering why you’re an 8 rather than a 1 for instance, they have a whole section on “Mis-identifications” and can explain how a 1 might mis-identify as an 8 or an 8 might mis-identify as a 1 – but it brings clarity to the differences and what distinguishes the two (can also be helpful if other people are constantly saying “you’re not an eight” – which they SHOULDN’T DO, haha – you’re never supposed to type other people!). This section I found super helpful in clarifying why I was sure I wasn’t a certain number over another! https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/36-type-misidentifications

  55. Diana says

    I love learning about stuff like this! I’ve done other personality tests before, like Meyers Brigg, but I haven’t done Enneagram yet! I definitely want to take a test and see what number I am!

  56. Haley Perry says

    Based on your online results, it looks like you are both eight wing nine. and then there are all the subtypes! I am also fascinated! It has really helped me communicate better with my team at work. And helps them communicate with each other better as well! by the way, have you looked up how your enneagram affects your fashion sense as well as how you decorate your house?! It affects everything!

  57. Debbie Hibbert says

    Before reading your post I was looking at the “meeting cartoon” at the beginning. I’m reading all the comments and hadn’t even noticed the little numbers below each one. Right away I thought, yes, “let’s wait until Chris gets back” … then noticed the little 9 under the comment. I’ve always tested as a 9? I ordered the book after your book review, now I’m extra ready to start reading it!

  58. Courtney says

    The enneagram is complete garbage. I’m so disappointed you are using your platform to deceive people. It’s based on lies. These so called ‘9 personalities’ were generated by automatic writing (aka new age calling on spirits). Its a complete fallacy. It has no grounds in a personality test. I was very into the enneagram 2 years ago. My eyes were opened by Marcia Montenegro. She used to be in the new age, and is able to help Christians decipher what’s true and what is false. The enneagram is the sneakiest form of deception to hit the church. It focuses on self. Please listen to Alisa Childers interview about the enneagram.

    • Mix and Match Mama says

      I think it’s a tool that can used to help you focus on others more than self, which is how I’m applying it (especially concerning my faith). I’m definitely not using my platform to deceive people…that part of your comment unfortunately, kind of negates the validity of the rest of your comment.

      • Kris says

        Ok, this is my last comment. I don’t expect these to be published but hope that you have a chance to look into this.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9umuxq9e4AI

        The above video is a Powerful testimony! Former Enneagram teacher and pastor’s wife, Jillian Lancour describes her wake-up call that propelled her to quit and renounce the Enneagram.

        The whole thing is a huge distraction at best and a deception at worst from spending time with the Lord in prayer and the Bible. It may “feel like” you are “closer” to Christ but is it the Christ of the Bible? He speaks through His Word. The Bible is sufficient.

        I also recommend this movie, “American Gospel: Christ Alone” to explain why “so many churches” use false teachings like this. Its 2 hours long and so worth your time.
        The American Gospel movies are available at http://www.americangospelfilm.com

        I have looked into your blog for years and used some of your recipes. Please, know that I type this in love. Praying for you. Galatians Chapter 1-3.

        • Mix and Match Mama says

          I totally don’t mind your difference of opinion. I would never want anything to be a distraction from Christ. This isn’t how I feel at all about my relationship with the Lord and learning more about my personality and others. I also think it’s so important to dig into God’s word for yourself and pray about what He is saying specifically to you in the scriptures and not only rely on what people in the ministry say. That can be its own version of false teaching and worshipping of something other than Christ.

    • ** says

      WOW. The fact that you are so closed-minded to something says everything. You don’t have to believe in the Enneagram, but I think the point is that Shay believes in PEOPLE. The Enneagram CAN be a tool for connecting to people. Is it the only one? No. Does it mean you’re making an effort to connect with others? YES. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. How sad that, in the fight of this vs that, you are showing how little you care about understanding others.

  59. April G says

    Follow the Unstuckologist on IG. She posts the funniest skits on everyday scenarios and how each number responds. Think laundry, picking out a greeting card, a visit to the gynecologist…hilarious!

  60. Allison says

    I think you know Annie Downs but check out her podcast series Ennea-Summer on the That Sounds Fun podcast. The chats about each type are so great! I learned so much about my husband’s type 3!

  61. Kacy M says

    I’ve yet to do an enneagram test yet but have noticed it’s been popular over the last year. I have done Myers Brigg a few times and am a ESFJ. Maybe I should look into it!

  63. Aubrey says

    Ever since learning about the enneagram I have been obsessed. I’m a 2 all the way no question, and understanding that has made such a huge difference. I have so much more grace and compassion for other people because I now understand our motivations are different. I can go on and on. I’m obsessed. I have heard The Complete Enneagram is good. The Typeology podcast is really good and there are so many good Instagram accounts.

  64. Mary says

    Ok now you NEED to read “The People Code”. Life changing! It really does a good job of telling you the “why” different people are the way they are. So so good!

  65. Emily says

    I think what is important is to realize that it is not really a personality test, but shows what the motivators are. Two people can display the same behaviors, but the motivation behind it is what determines your number.

  66. Carli Patton says

    This has been a tremendous resource to me in my work with the Enneagram: https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Enneagram-Paths-Greater-Self-Knowledge-ebook/dp/B00FL1HSTY/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1VKDFB0TCDKX2&dchild=1&keywords=beatrice+chestnut+enneagram&qid=1618569099&sprefix=beatrice+c%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-3

    It goes past the 9 numbers and helps you understand the 3 subtypes of each number. If you have any loved ones that are just really struggling figuring out their number, this really helps dive into motives/passions of each number. When I read my number (2) and subtype (one-to-one) it was simultaneously amazing because I felt so seen and heard and humiliating because I felt like someone was describing all my secret thoughts. Not sure if that makes sense but just thought I’d share.

    Also, Ian Crohn, the author of The Road Back to You, does seminars from time to time. He lives in Nashville and so do I, so I have had the opportunity to attend a few. If you and Andrew every want to do a weekend away, I recommend going to one of his seminars and then going out to dinner and sharing everything you observed. Sounds nerdy but my husband and I have done this and it gave us a great opportunity to have honest conversation about our number and the numbers of people we love. It led to some really honest sharing and was tremendously valuable.

    Last, Hunter Mobley is also a rising star in the world of Enneagram. He led a cohort that I had the privilege of attending last year. He shares great content. He also recently wrote a book that would be a lovely gift for your dad.https://www.amazon.com/Forty-Being-Enneagram-Daily-Reflections-ebook/dp/B085FZXKFP/ref=sr_1_2?crid=QE8FXP1I4XYV&dchild=1&keywords=hunter+mobley+enneagram+2&qid=1618569263&sprefix=hunter+mobley%2Caps%2C225&sr=8-2

    If you’re ever in Nashville, I can certainly share some fun restaurants and activities! Blessings!

  67. Danielle Chambers says

    Beth McCord (@yourenneagramcoach) is a fantastic resource. She has books but also tons of info on her instagram. She ties it all back to the Gospel and honestly, it’s fascinating.

  68. Stephanie says

    If you haven’t heard of her podcast, Suzanne Stabile does a podcast called The Enneagram Journey. It is so good to hear her speak on the numbers. My favorite episodes are Episode 50: Orientation to Time and Episode 59: The Enneagram and Repressed Centers. Those episodes just give great additional information that compliment her books so well. Her Q&A episodes are great too.

  69. Lisa says

    I’m super interested and excited to learn about it!
    Do you recommend reading the first…..and then the online test or visa versa????
    I’m totally new to this !
    It is so fascinating!
    Thanks for your help
    XO

  70. Jessica Dove says

    Hi Shay! I’ve never commented before, but this is my jam! I LOVE enneagram stuff! I am a Christian and agree- this has helped me understand myself, my family and God even more! It has made me appreciate people more. It has helped me communicate. I am high 1 wing 2 and 8 wing 7. My husband is a 7 wing 8! Learning about ourselves and each other has strengthened our marriage. In my research I found a sermon series online called YOU from Sandals Church. The pastor does a sermon on each number. IT WAS AMAZING. I’ve listened to all, to help me understand people better. When we got to my main numbers, I both laughed and cried. The pastor nailed it. You should listen and let me know what you think! Have a great weekend!

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