Agh! After two weeks, today, we are waking up back at home and now…I have a lot of laundry to do.
Re-entry after a vacation is not nearly as much fun as the actual vacation. #sigh
I’m going to take today off to get my life together, but in the meantime, I’m going to share our newest podcast episode with YOU!
Today, Erika and I are BREAKING DOWN SOCIAL MEDIA.
We talking about spending/wasting time on our phones.
Which platforms we love.
What we think about negative comments on our blogs.
Unhappy people on the internet.
The good.
The bad.
The ugly of social media.
And…why our kids do not have phones.
It’s all in today’s episode!
You should be able to listen to this particular episode (and the others!) by clicking THIS LINK HERE or you can catch all of our episodes on your favorite podcast platform (Spotify, Apple, etc).
As a reminder, so far this season we’ve broken down HAWAII, TRAVELING TOGETHER, BINGE WATCHING, FRIENDSHIP, BOTOX, BIKINIS, FITNESS, THE BESTIES and now SOCIAL MEDIA. If you love us, please follow us on Instagram @thebestiebreakdown, if you have reader questions, please email us at thebestiebreakdown@gmail.com and we love positive reviews! Please listen, love us and give us a great rating!
I’m off for today! See you back here tomorrow for WHAT’S UP WEDNESDAY!
Elspeth says
Welcome back home!!!! Can’t wait to listen to the podcast! Such an important topic!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Kay says
Agree with your approach. Our 3 oldest first had a phone on their 16th birthday as they left in the car alone for the first time. Our youngest, the other 3 in college, got one as a freshman as we were battling a cancer scare with her dad and we wanted her updated from us in a timely manner.
Jenn says
I cannot wait to listen! You and Erika have quickly become my favorite light-hearted podcast to listen to on my drive to and from work! That being said, I don’t want to listen too early in the week knowing that I don’t have a backlog of podcasts to listen to!
Not sure if you address it in the podcast, but how will you know when is the right time to get your kids a phone? We are discussing this with our 11 year old and struggle with working to teach responsibility/independence while keeping them safe!
Kristin says
I think you ladies are being so wise about your kids and social media. My children’s preschool teacher told me that my husband and I should be the main influences in our kids’ lives for as long as possible. Letting them get on social media at a young age can be so dangerous to mental health and creativity and more. Our kids are in their 20s now, so things weren’t quite as intense when they were kids…or at least I THINK they weren’t. Our daughter didn’t get a phone until she was a junior, and had to borrow a phone 3 times in 30 minutes one day when there was a bus mess up after school. I think our son MIGHT have been in 8th grade when he got one. Our daughter didn’t get on Facebook until after her sophomore year, and that was only because she’d made friends from around the state when she attended a summer academy, and she wanted to keep in touch. Now the kids mainly use Facebook Messenger for family stuff, and rarely Facebook itself. Our daughter is on Tumblr and both use Discord, and our son uses Snapchat a lot. We were those mean parents who gave them an hour of computer or TV each day, and had no gaming systems. Our son finally bought a Nintendo Switch with his own money when he was in college. Personally, I love keeping up with friends and family on Facebook and Instagram. My son and his girlfriend send me photos of the food they make on Snapchat. I got Twitter just so I could get updates on vaccine availability in my area. Shay’s got me wanting to check out Pinterest more. Now I only get on when a friend sends me a recipe that way.
This is an important topic, and I appreciated how diplomatic you were about it. Thanks for breaking it down!
Jennibell says
Kristin, I think we might be the same person 😉
We have four children and for two of them smart phones were not yet “commonplace” when they were in middle school but for the second two they were. I noticed a very stark difference between the two that had them in middle school and the two that did not. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I think it has more to do with it time they spend in groups of people playing and talking and definitely in the amount of time they spend with family playing games, in the kitchen or craft room creating, etc. And since they have parents who aren’t really “into” all technology, we weren’t their influence :/
We always try to think I ahead here were a few things that got “right“ (or as best we could without knowing what was around the corner:
1) A family charging station. All devices need to stay in one of two rooms.
2) we never, ever bought them a phone. When one of their smart phones died, we would provide them with a flip phone (just because they do need some thing) and that has been a great thing for us and them I think. Of course, we gave them opportunities to earn money to buy their own phones but we have never had to replace the phone, or deal with upgrades. We do pay for their very basic service… If they want more they have to pay for it. For reference, our kids are 17, 19, 20, and 22.
3) No phones in bedrooms. Never ever. That could be a book;)
Thanks for this podcast, Shay and Erika – your friendship is special.
Carly says
Shay, I loved the part about “not showing the negative”. As someone who does not yet have children, honestly, sometimes the “honesty” about parenthood and baby life scares me. I know new moms need to hear from others that they aren’t alone but it can be taken over at times. (and then I don’t follow those since it’s not my cup of tea!) Thank you for showing what a joy motherhood can be and it makes me so look forward to it. Also, I think there could so be a second part to this, making breaking down what influencer life is, showing all the sides, mostly just our of curiosity since its a job so few of us have but are always engaging with. Thanks for the podcast! Made my morning inbox clean out more fun
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh goodness! This was the sweetest! Thank YOU so much for listening and supporting me!!
Laci Murray says
Although my kids are older I think this podcast is a great resource for those who aren’t sure where they stand on phones/kids. I have teenagers and phones are nice to reach them BUT they are definitely another “child” as Erika mentioned.
Cait says
My favorite day of the week! Can you make them twice as long? I usually end up listening to it twice, ha!
Carrie says
This Bestie Breakdown made me love you both even more!!! I look forward to this every week.
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh my goodness!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Kristy Moore says
So, I’ve binged the entire 2 seasons of The Bestie Breakdown in 48 hours! I love them all, but honestly my favourite has to be when Andrew and Tab took over the mic. Honestly, I was crying I was laughing so hard! They were SO great!
Can’t wait to listen to this week’s episode, but I do have to say as a teacher (Grade 5/6) I’ve seen the negative impacts of having these kiddos using Social Media and having phones at such as young age. So, kudos to you both for putting boundaries in place and recognizing the dangers/possible negativity of having kids possibly exposed to negative things before they are ready.
One question I do have is….how do we find out the topics of upcoming Podcasts in case I have a question that pertains to the topic?
Thanks! And I wish you and Erika that best day!
Mix and Match Mama says
I’m so happy you binged us!!! Thank YOU for the love and support!!
Miranda A Foster says
This episode was so helpful on so many levels.
Thank you
Claire says
Wow, Shay!! That podcast was so good. I wouldn’t have said or changed a single thing. I just wanted to thank you and Erika for doing this because it is always so inspiring (just like the Athleta magizines ??) and always lifts my spirits. I also love how you shared the piece of not showing the negatives but having your social media as just being a fun “scrapbook” and I 100% agree. I am so glad you can be a part in my life! Love YOU and your family and I pray for y’all!
Karah Stracener says
Oh my goodness I look forward to every Tuesday and the bestie breakdown. I loved this episode and it made me just love y’all even more. I love both of your outlooks on social media. I also agree with not giving my kids a phone or social media. My 9 year old almost 10 year old daughter already knows that she doesn’t get a phone until she’s 16…..maybe 15 at the earliest. I have seen too much with kids these days and they are just not mature enough for it. Thank you so much for sharing, I appreciate y’all’s take on social media and phones etc. Thank you for always keeping it real and honest!
PS: I think I could be besties with you girls. ?
Mix and Match Mama says
Ohhhhhh! Be besties with us, Karah! We would love that!!!
Kelly says
Great topic! You (and your kiddo’s) are not alone. Our kids did not get phones until they needed them ( driving or needing to be picked up at school 30 minutes away) and could afford them. I didn’t want one more thing to monitor and we have not had any issues because of it. You all are doing a great job:).
Nicole says
I love it!! What is your rule about iPads? Do they ever get to use those and if so, what are the rules?
Also, is there a reason you don’t like working out lower body?! Haha!
I love your happy corner on the internet! I always joke about how you’re the big sister I never had!! ??
Mix and Match Mama says
For iPads, we allow them when we’re on board planes (sometimes in the car while we’re traveling…in fact, we have those video screens in the car but they’re only used when we go on long road trips). We occasionally let them watch TV on them at home or maybe play a game, but not that often. Andrew despises iPads. ha! He’s a harder sell than me. And I just feel like working my legs takes more work. Bahaha! Lunges, squats…they’re so hard. Bigger muscle, more work 😉 . I am SO HONORED to be your big sister, Nicole! That is the ULTIMATE compliment!!!!
Amie says
This was another great episode!! Well so far, I think I have about 10 minutes left. I love your approach in that you just do your thing and don’t worry about the rest. I definitely don’t think there was any way you would have offended anyone BUT in today’s world I guess anything is possible! haha I have a similar situation in that I do not have a facebook page but it’s like you almost have to have it for school stuff sort of like you mentioned with your kids not having a phone to scan stuff at school. sigh
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you so much for listening!!! That means the world to us!
Sabrina says
I love the Bestie Breakdown! I listen every Tuesday while I do an hour of cardio at the gym. It makes the time go by so fast! I do not have any kids, but I am a high school teacher, and I agree 100% with everything that you and Erika shared. I see so much negativity from technology and it is so sad. I tell people all of the time that while there are 1 million apps to control what your child does or sees, you cannot control what someone sends your child (like the reference you made with AirDrop). I see it all of the time and once children are exposed to it, it can’t be unseen. I also think that the younger generation becomes desensitized to things so much quicker. There are things that my 11th-grade students have seen and been exposed to (and isn’t a big deal to them AT ALL) that I have NEVER seen or done in my entire 35 years. And oftentimes, children that are still innocent feel the pressure to do/say/send what other kids are doing to fit in. I am definitely in your corner cheering you on for making that decision for your family! I also LOVED that you said that your kids are learning life skills to figure out how to handle problems without a cell phone. YESSSS to that!!!! Lots of students I encounter do not ever talk on the phone. They will decline a call just to send a text because they feel awkward talking. Those are not good skills when it comes time to interview for a job! I know everyone has to do what’s best for them and at some point, you have to teach kids how to properly handle all of that, and I cannot imagine what that feels like as a parent. You all are doing a GREAT job!
Holly says
This was such a great episode!? I am cheering you gals on for going against the grain, and not letting what alot of other parents are allowing make your decision for you!? So many children and teens are just handed a phone and have “the world” at their fingertips, which isn’t nessacarely a good thing! It opens them up to alot of bad they don’t know how to handle, and is also dangerous these days it seems! I love what you said about them playing outside, crafting, getting bored so they use their imagination to come up with something fun to do!! More children need this! My pastor and several we know don’t allow their teens a phone until 16, and then when they get one they are monitored by the parents through an app. And they have the passwords for whatever is on the phone so they can check them. Then they are allowed to get social media at 17, but also with supervision of socal media. And no going behind closed doors with your phone! No bedroom etc. Interestingly enough, the children/ teens aren’t upset about it, and respect their parents decision! My husband and I want to do the same, we are the watchmen & gatekeepers for our home, and children are precious souls to be raised! ? good job, mamas!! xo
Mimi says
I did the same with my kids but it’s seriously the schools that make it hard on the kids. The kids all had to download the Remind app in Jr High and my kids had to tell them they couldn’t because they didn’t have phones. The teacher thought that was weird because she wanted the kids to be responsible and not the parents to remind them. I told her someone was having to remind them whether it was her or me. I had to finally cave at the end of 7th grade with my daughter because if sports practice ended early she either had to borrow someone else’s phone to call me or just wait because the office was closed. My son was waiting all alone at the baseball field one day because all the kids had called their parents and he was too embarrassed to admit he was the only one without a phone. My son still doesn’t have social media but once you give the girl a phone it’s a constant battle because that’s how they communicate.
Elizabeth says
I was pretty locked down with my kids’ on screen time/technology/phones too. But – my daughter and her friends in middle school set up a fake Farmer’s Only account on their school laptops! There were not pictures or any actual contact with anyone, but they would scroll through the farmers at lunch time. It was so alarming but also kind of funny – that was not even on my radar to block or tell them not to do!
Mix and Match Mama says
Kids! They’re always one step ahead of us, right?!