My first pregnancy lasted 9 weeks before I miscarried, my second pregnancy lasted 39 weeks and my third and final pregnancy lasted 38 weeks. I blogged during Kensington and Smith’s pregnancies but I’ve never done one Shade of Shay on being pregnant, so let’s remedy that, shall we?
Here’s what happened during my pregnancies…
I found out I was pregnant for the first time on May 26, 2007. Andrew and I had been trying to have a baby for a year and had done our very first intrauterine insemination (IUI) to get this pregnancy. I was 25 years old and been told that my reproductive organs were aging faster than my body and that we may or may not be able to conceive, so this pregnancy felt like the end of a marathon. We had gone on this long journey to get here, and we were so grateful and relieved to finally be expecting a baby. My due date was February 7, 2008.
I’m not much of a secret keeping kind of person…I feel like everything is better when it’s all out there, so we told our family and several friends that we were expecting. I always feel like if I’m going to tell them about a miscarriage, I should tell them about a pregnancy. So anyone I knew I would tell in the event of a miscarriage, I told about the pregnancy (I did this all 3 times). For me, this was a good gauge of who to tell.
Pregnancy symptoms…I pretty much began throwing up every single day right away. I immediately hated food yet gained 4 pounds. I was tired, I didn’t enjoy going to work, and I was always sick.
On June 25, when I was just about 9 weeks pregnant, I went in for a typical visit and we learned that this baby did not make it. Worst day of my life. Without a doubt.
My doctors scheduled my D&C for the following morning and just like that…what I thought was the end of my marathon, my mile 26, was just my beginning.
Over the next six months, I did 5 more IUIs…and they all failed.
On January 16, 2008, I was at work one day when my doctor called and said it was time to start my IVF meds. I had taken the previous month off to enjoy the holiday season and therefore stopped all of my fertility drugs. We had decided to kick off the new year with an IVF and it was time for her to call me in a prescription. The routine thing to do is always take a home pregnancy test before you begin any fertility drugs…so, I ran next door to CVS and bought one and then took it in restroom of mine and Andrew’s office. And it was positive.
What?
Excuse me?
Positive?
Yes.
I walked into Andrew’s office and told him it was positive and he looked as confused as I was. After almost two years of trying and six IUIs, how did I randomly get pregnant? I immediately called my doctor and headed to her office and yup…I was preggers. Without trying. I was due September 21.
And then…there was Pregnancy #3.
It was June 7, 2009 and I had a 8 month old daughter and was getting braces on that morning. I know…braces. I had been dealing with some health issues for years and years and finally found a team of doctors who knew how to fix the problem. I would be needing braces, my tonsils removed and myofuncional therapy. I was dreading all of it. Our local photographer came over and took a few pics of us to celebrate our 8 month old and so that I could have a few family pictures before the dreaded braces…
Sandy says
Ahh, pregnancy. I'm 3 and a half months now..and so tired.all.the.time. It's starting to get ridiculous. Morning sickness so far, but praying it goes now!! How did you prevent stretch marks?? Thanks for the book recommendations – will have to get them. Also, did you take any vitamins while pregnant? Did you change your diet after your pregnancy? Did the weight just melt off or did you have to actively exercise? Did you breastfeed? Sorry for the hundreds of question but this is my first time and I am desperate for all the advice I can get!
Kaileigh says
I love your story because it gives all of us girls who are struggling with trying to conceive hope. And not just that, but hope that it can happen completely naturally! Thanks for sharing.
Tab & Erika says
Awe!!! Wasn't it fun to re-live those preggo days and not have to throw up once?? Feels like SO long ago!! Loved reading this post!!!
Karen says
As the mom of an 11 month old with a second (surprise!) baby due in September this made me cry. 🙂 I just finished throwing up and am watching Sesame Street and eating cheerios with my daughter while I read this. Being a mom is most definitely the best job ever!
Katie says
How did you manage during that first year with such young ones? Did you let kensigntons schedule take precedence and make smith flexible? I'm due end of May with my second boy and they will be 2 years apart … Trying to figure out how we will spend the summer with routines etc!
Sabrina says
Such an awesome story!!! Loved this Shade of Shay & can't wait till sweet Ashby makes her appearance!! 🙂
Alison @ Get Your Pretty On says
Oh I loved reading these stories! I think it's so neat to wait and find out the gender. I did that first time around but didn't with the other two. You glowed for being so sick. I feel for you, I had horrible morning sickness too.
Anonymous says
I was wondering if you breastfed your babies and why you chose to do so, or not do so. I live in a community where it is frowned upon if you don't breast feed so I would love to hear from you if you didn't – this mama needs some support!
Anonymous says
I love your blog but never comment. Just wanted to say I loved this post. I am due September 21st and sick. All. Day. Long. I didn't have this with my daughter so it took me by complete surprise. I am hating being pregnant but realize it's a huge blessing and worth every second. Thanks for reminding me I'll survive 🙂 we have talked about 3 kids but after this pregnancy I am done. If we feel called to adopt that will also be how we expand.
Unknown says
Such a fun post, and I'd love to hear the story of your meeting your BFF, Sheaffer!
Mix and Match Mama says
I'm going to do a Shade of Shay on having a newborn…stay tuned and I'll answer these follow up questions!
Narci says
One of my favorite shades of you! Love you, friend!!
Andrea Terrell says
Thanks for sharing. I had a very difficult pregnancy but the joy of seeing my daughter for the first time is indescribable. Also, the best moment of my life, hands down.
Andrea Terrell says
Thanks for sharing. I had a very difficult pregnancy but the joy of seeing my daughter for the first time is indescribable. Also, the best moment of my life, hands down.
Susan says
Loved this post! I'm a first time Mama to a nine month old. It took us 13 cycles to get pregnant – I found out I was pregnant the day after I made an appointment with an RE to discuss fertility treatments. God has a funny sense of timing sometimes 🙂
I also had a long labor that ended in a c-section. I am most definitely looking forward to that scheduled c-section should we be blessed with #2 🙂
Looking forward to your newborn post!
Jenn L says
Love relating to other woman that did not have storybook pregnancies. My sisters have glorious experiences. Me, not so much. My 1st pregnancy I was sick from the get go up until week 20, never felt fetal movement, not once. Considered high risk so ultrasounds weekly. I gained 13 pounds and due to concerns with nourishment to the baby and expected low birth weight I was induced 2.5 weeks early. I was sure I was having a boy (we didn't find out gender) but was completely surprised on Fourth of July with a 5lb 10oz little girl (1.5 lbs larger than expected). Pregnancy number 2 was very much planned but I was surprised to learn I was due on July 4th (daughters 4th birthday), I was sick from the start, which was the 1st indication of pregnancy for me. Something was different this time. I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew this would not have a good ending. Week 20 I got a severe pain across my abdomen that passed as quick as it came. An ultra sound revealed no heartbeat.
Pregnancy 3 would be my last one no matter the outcome, I knew this with my whole heart. Again I was sick from the begining. We found out the gender early this time and were excited to be expecting a little boy. To our surprise he was due on July 4th (daughter's 5th birthday). This was a very eventful pregnancy. Contractions from week 20 on. Labor at 28 weeks that was stopped with Magnesium (not fun), bed rest with a 4 almost 5 year old. The day after I got off of bed rest I was so excited to get out of the house and head to Old Navy. Immediate upon entering the store I slipped on a hanger and fell and dislocated my shoulder. Had to be taken out in an ambulance but couldn't leave until my mom came and took my grandmother (she had Alzheimer's and couldn't come with me). It was 4 days before my shoulder popped back in place. I just prayed that I didn't go into labor until my shoulder was better. The rest of the month continued with frequent visits to labor & delivery because the contractions never stopped. Ultimately my son was born kicking and screaming 10 days before he was due. I had a fever of 103 and vomited through the delivery.
The Cantelmo Family says
I've had four pregnancies. Only one pregnancy I didn't throw up the entire time. I remember being 9 months pregnant with my 4th baby and realizing I've spent the majority of my adult life throwing up :-). So I completely get the whole throwing up your entire pregnancy type thing. I also struggled with seeing all my friends loving their pregnancy and me pulling over on the side of the road throwing up! But I guess God has his own plans right?
Aubs says
Such a sweet testimony of God's goodness!! Love your precious family and can't wait to see Ashby home with y'all!! Praying for you as you wait! =)
Kate at Green Fashionista says
What an amazing story! I'm so sorry you struggled so much with fertility and then with extreme morning sickness. I find it incredible that you were able to travel to such amazing places while so sick and pregnant. I'm afraid to book any trips while I'm pregnant because I don't want to be ill on the plane or while trying to site-see. Any tips?
Bryce and Mandy says
I love this post. Especially when you hear from people you haven't met who have experienced similar things. My husband and I tried for a year and a half to get pregnant. After surgery to correct my tubes we were still struggling and were about to start IVF when we got our BFP. I can fully understand the shocked and confused feeling your hubby felt. I'll never forget Bryce and I staring at each other and the test for like 10 minutes :). Our son is a perfect 15 weeks today! We also have the same picture you do in that spot in Capri! Thank you for talking about your struggles. I blogged about our challenges and I think it helps and gives hope to women struggling to get pregnant! Keep the hope alive always!!
Anonymous says
God bless you! We are starting our fourth year of TTC. God has been good to us, and given more grace than I thought was possible. I can only hope we are nearing the end of our marathon. Did y'all tell friends and family that you were having fertility problems?
Slightly Askew Designs says
OMG! Prego Shay! I loved prego Shay 🙂 One of my very favorite memories of pregnant Shay was you getting that "mumu" in our NYE gift exchange. hahaha AND that episode at Sonic where you couldn't look at the menu. I thought you were crazy…. until I was pregnant with G. So glad that pregnancy is behind us!!!
V @ X-tremely V says
Thank you so much for sharing these stories. It makes me think about my pregnancy all over again 🙂
I have a lot of friends who went through similar situations as you and as soon as they didn't think about it, God blessed them with a pregnancy. It is wonderful how life works that way 🙂
Jac says
I loved this post about your pregnancies! I wanted to ask you where I can find a link to your favorite basic t also, I can't seem to find it! thanks 🙂
Darcy says
Love your story – and how honest you are. Praying that you can see the light at the end of the mile 26 tunnel with your adoption. 🙂
Liz/ says
I really loved this post so very much! I have 2 sweet girls, 3 years apart though and I also had 2 c sections….first one because she was breech and second one because I really loved the first one! People often ask me if it bothers me that I did not have vaginal births with my kids and I always answer NO because I am a planner and having those planned c sections just made things so much easier and happier for me!!! I am so excited for Ashby to join your sweet family, she will be one blessed little girl!!!
Katelyn Magerko says
Such a great post! My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant the night we got married as we knew we both couldnt wait to have kids. Here we are 6 months later with no luck…yet. Trying to stay positive and hoping it happens soon but I know God had his own plans. So nice to read your story and know all us women are not alone.
Meaghan says
What a good post! I was sick the entire time with pregnant with my daughter, and never sick at all when pregnant with my son. Crazy! We just adopted #3…our precious Max from Ethiopia. Adoption is such a blessing. Look forward to hearing more about your family's journey.
Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} says
I hung on ever word of this post! I loved reading it all even though I was there for a lot of it! I actually remember sitting next to you at bible study at Starbucks, drawing the tabernacle, and finding out that you were pregnant too! Love you and your babies! All 3 of them!
Mary says
I love your story and your kids stories! I had my first miscarriage in 2009 after struggling to get pregnant. In 2012 we we adopted our amazing daughter at birth (her birthparents rock!) after a long and traumatic adoption journey (God was in the details the whole time and knew what He was doing!!). I found out I was pregnant when she was two months old and miscarried at 8 weeks. In 2013 we became foster parents and our foster son and daughter have been with us over 3 months now and we are on track to adopt them…so I have 3 two year olds. I just had my third miscarriage a couple of weeks ago. Pregnancy loss and infertility is such a beast and so horrible. But God's faithfulness and promises are so sweet!! I love adoption!!!!!! I cannot wait to hear more about little Ashby! God is good and life is tough, but God sure is still good.
Alice says
I didn't find out the sex with my first 2.
I was due on March 20th and was induced with my daughter Emilee Tayte on March 31st and finally had her 28 hours labor (not by C-section) on April 1st. She was 7lbs and 19 3/4 inches. She is about to turn 15 years old! Crazy!!
I went into labor with my second 2 days before his due date. I only had a 5 hour labor and he was my best baby ever. His name is Zackary Wayne and he is 13. He was 7 lbs 5 oz and 20 1/4".
And then my last OOPS baby was born on his due date and I was induced again to get him out. And thank God I did because he was 9 lbs 9 oz and 22 inches long. He was basically a 3 month old. LOL!
I love pregnancy and birth stories. If I could go back and change my degree, I would be a midwife.
Can't wait to see your precious Ashby!! Praying for all of you!
plfuller6 says
Beautiful stories.
Alice says
I think I forgot to mention my last babies name, he is Colton James and he just turned 4. Colton's birthday is February 17th.
Katie Woodworth says
Would love an update on y'all's journey with Ashby!
Kelly says
Thank you so much for sharing your stories with the world! You are a great writer and I commend you for being so open about your life. Your kids are blessed to have you and your family is wonderful!!
Stephanie Jennings says
Love this shade of Shay! What a wonderful post. But, I will be the woman that says it: fastest 9 months of my life for 2 of my 3 pregnancies. But, the first 2 were great pregnancies. The last was the longest 9 months ever because I was sick all the time, much like how you felt. I agree with what someone else said, please do a post on how you and Scheaffer got to be such great friends. Best wishes on bringing Ashby home xoxo
Blondie says
I had NO idea you were adopting and when I got to the end of this post, my entire body was covered in goosebumps!!! I STILL have goosebumps!!
Oh my goodness, what an incredible experience. Thank you for sharing your journey and your lives. It's inspiring.
Blondie says
I had NO idea you were adopting and when I got to the end of this post, my entire body was covered in goosebumps!!! I STILL have goosebumps!!
Oh my goodness, what an incredible experience. Thank you for sharing your journey and your lives. It's inspiring.
Dees Fam says
I love that you're unapologetic about your C-sections! My three births were via C, too. I'd choose that route again!
Leslie says
Hi Shay! I know you are a travel PRO, but how did you travel while being so sick? Flying on an airplane? Enjoying yourself? Thanks!!
Sarah E @ theteacherswife.com says
What a great post! I've only dealt with nausea during the first trimester with our pregnancies, so I have no idea how you made it throwing up all the way until the end…bless your heart! I can't wait to hear about Ashby's story too!! 🙂
Tiffany {A Touch of Grace} says
You looked amazing for a lady who threw up every day. I can't even imagine. I love reading your sweet story. Being a mommy really is the best gift God could have given us.
Jeanie says
I loved hearing your stories. I, too, was sick, sick, sick with both of my pregnancies. Just curious: Do you ever call Kensington Kensie?
Beth says
We started trying October 2012. I started Clomid with my regular OB July 2013 and we had our first RE appointment November 2013. Through it all, I have loved reading these stories that help give me hope! I love how your love and appreciation for your two precious blessings shines through your writing. I pray that one day when I am finally a mother that I will never take our babies for granted! Thanks for sharing your story 🙂
Leslie says
Loved this post! So glad you shared! I'm pregnant with my third, a big surprise and I also get morning sickness all day, every day! So blessed to carry such a blessing but man the puking, and food aversions make me feel like I may not survive sometimes!
Jacquelynn says
Love this. Love your blog. So, so happy I found it! Just wanted to let you know that I think you rock!
Kristin Woolsey says
Love this post!!! Might be my most fav ever! This truly gives me hope with our crazy, heartbreaking, and terrible fertility struggle right now. Your kids are absolutely precious!!! Praying for sweet Ashby!
Anonymous says
This actually made me feel much better about becoming pregnant! I'm terrified of needles and doctors so the idea of a c section sounds crazy awful! Thanks for sharing!
Janice Rogers-Bingham says
I loved this! I'm on my 6th pregnancy. I was pregnant twice before our 3 year old daughter and twice more and now and I'm on week 20 with this one! With every pregnancy I'm sick and miserable! I try to be a trooper and other moms who aren't just annoy me! I'm not comparing my situation to others but I always look at it this way: I'd rather be absolutely miserable for months and months on end and have a precious baby than be miserable for a few months and not have a baby to love. Not everybody gets that joy and who am I to complain about it?
With this pregnancy we've discussed again and again about whether or not we feel our family is complete or if we want more kids either from us or adoption and it's a tough choice. Part of me is like "Yes, I'm pretty much done with being pregnant!" But there's also a part that will really, really, really miss all the kicks and wiggles. We've basically decided that whatever God decides we'll accept like we have all along.
Kelly Stamps says
This was SO much fun to read. I would have totally pegged your for someone who would have found out the sex so fun to find out you didn't!!!
MorganizewithMe says
Love this post Shay! It is such an encouragment for all of us moms! I am so excited for your adoption journey to reach mile 26.
Mimi says
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who was sick every.single.day for nine months with both pregnancies. I even threw up in the hospital elevator on the day I took my son home. Ha! I always felt like I was a failure because no one else I knew got that sick. I'm pretty sure some people thought I was just putting on a show since I somehow managed to gain 40 pounds with both pregnancies! You are exactly right–it is a sick like no other and you just KNOW the second time around without the pregnancy test. Thanks for sharing and making me feel "normal" after all these years. 🙂
Jaren says
I identify with your pregnancy stories SO MUCH! God does his work. All you have to do is trust, right? I cannot believe He has blessed my husband and I with 4 kids now after all those tears and trying and devastating days. I am now 24 weeks with #4, and still have my sick moments…I think it has something to do with being motion sickness sensitive too. Not fun, but it is funny how you forget that feeling until you feel it again.
Kirsten says
What a beautiful story!!!! You had me at PB &J's and Cheetos! That's all I ate the third trimester of my pregnancy. I had girlfriends bring me Cheetos at my shower and in the hospital! Never was a big fan of them before. My first daughter is adopted…such an amazing gift. I count my blessings every day for her. My second daughter is from an IUI. I love my little family…it took a lot of patience and faith to get where we are, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. They are my girls…my sweet, lovely girls. Best wishes with your adoption, I can't wait to hear more about it.
Anna says
Hi Shay!
you totally don't know me, but I've followed your blog and IG forever. 🙂 I LOVE this story about your pregnancies! we,too, dealt with infertility and it's so so so hard.
Anyway, what's making me write is that we're adopting a 4-year-old from Africa (we're going next month to brign him home!!!!!), and he has some mouth/adenoidal issues that I think he'll need myofunctional therapy for! I have NEVER met anyone else that has even HEARD of this, let alone KNOW anything about it!!!
I'd LOVE to ask you some questions about how it worked, what you did, how you found a doctor that KNOWs somehing, if the therapy helped!!! I'm having a hard time finding even doctors that know anything!!!! and, of course, I'm already in momma bear mode trying to get help for him when he gets home. 🙂 <3
I'm not sure if you even read these comments, but if you do, would you mind discussing this with me? (in all your "free" time, I'm sure!!!) I'd really forever ever and ever be sooo grateful since I know no one that knows anything!!!!
Mix and Match Mama says
I'd love to talk to you about myofunctional therapy! Email me! mixandmatchmama@yahoo.com
mel @ the larson lingo says
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. So similar….I had 2 m/c's before Kate, I was sick the entire 9 months with all 3 of mine and we didn't find out the gender! And, I am SO glad I will never be preggo again! So thankful for our sweet babies!
Julia Kovacova says
You looked gorgeous while pregnant! Loved this post.
Anonymous says
Hi Shay!I am most nervous to become pregnant because of the nausea. Both my mom and sister were sick 24/7 just like you while pregnant. I am a teacher and will have to deal with it somehow. How did you manage, what are some tricks, do you try and medications?