Hey, hey, hey!
We are interrupting our ALL FALL, ALL THE TIME content for a little…
(Who am I kidding, of course, I posted a FALL RECIPE today too 🙂 ).
I am who I am.
Alrighty, today on this post though, we’re going to chat about USE IT OR LOSE IT.
This is one of those phrases I feel like I’ve heard and/or read many, many, many times over the last few years as I’ve focused more on my own health and wellness. Now, full disclaimer, let me be very clear…I understand that some who are reading this have been involved in accidents and/or received diagnosis that have caused you to lose it. Full stop. You had zero control over it and your life is changed. I do not want to, in any way, minimize that and/or make it sound like we are telling those of you dealing with persistent/chronic/unfortunate situations that you need to use it or lose it. Not at all. Okay? We fully understand you didn’t mean to “lose it”.
This post is for the rest of us. Those of us who have the opportunity/option to use it or lose it every day.
Because I listen to a lot of health podcasts and read a lot of wellness books, I’m often thinking about *things* I do in my day to day life that I don’t ever want to stop doing (or at least I don’t want to stop doing those things shy of my 90s). These are skills/habits/functions/abilities that I currently have and want to keep. These are things that I know that if I stop using, I’ll probably “lose”. Make sense?
I made a little list of things I better use or I might lose and then I hope you’ll share your list too! I am positive you’ll have things on your list that I didn’t think of…but that I want to add to my list too.
The real inspiration behind my blog post?
My grandparents!
Let’s just take this photo for example. I did the math and at the time of this photo, my grandmother was 85 years old and holding my 2½ year old while standing up. I want to be able to do that when I’m 85. She and my grandfather (who was 87 in this photo) were living independently in their own home and driving at the time of this photo too. They were making all of their own meals, doing all of their own house work/laundry/dishes (they never had a dishwasher or garbage disposal), tending to their front and back gardens, going to church, playing the piano, out for daily walks (he was running 3+ miles a day until about 85), paying their own bills, decorating for holidays, buying their own gifts and sending out cards. All of these things are skills I do not want to “lose”. Here’s another one…
…this photo was taken when my paternal grandmother and Andrew went to a Rangers/Yankee game when she was 87. I mean, minus the stupid Rangers and terrible Yankees, I want to be 87 and able to go to a ballpark for a game. I’m just shy of 45 right now and the thought of driving to a stadium, parking, walking to the stadium, walking into the stadium and up through the concourse and finding my seat, and then sitting through 9 innings of baseball sounds exhausting. Imagine being able to do it at 87?! She never stopped which must have contributed to why she still could.
And then there is this lady…
…that’s just my maternal grandmother casually sitting by the lake on the ground at 86 like it’s no big deal to get down and then back up on concrete by herself.
I mean…GOALS, people.
And then later that year…
…she’s shopping with me on Nantucket 🙂 . At 86, she was still traveling. Getting from Dallas to Nantucket is never simple…and yet, she did it like a pro.
I mentioned this when I blogged about that visit, but at one point, I came home, and she had made breakfast and was vacuuming. And I’m pretty sure she folded a load of towels too. She was not just a guest…she was an ACTIVE guest…at 86.
So needless to say, I have been blessed with oodles of inspiration on both sides of my family and would like to carry that on myself as well. I have seen with my own eyes that all three of those grandparents literally “used it so they wouldn’t lose it”. My maternal grandmother is almost 90 and still lives on her own. What a wonderful, wonderful thing.
So, here below is my little list. I am focused on “using” these skills as long as I can so that I don’t lose them. Some, I will certainly probably not be able to do until I’m 100, but I want to be able to do them as long as I possible can. I hope you share your list too!
In no particular order (and certainly this isn’t everything), here are 21 things I always try to *use* so I don’t *lose*…
#1: GO FROM SITTING TO STANDING ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT HOLDING ON TO ANYTHING
#2: EASILY AND COMFORTABLY BEING ABLE TO BIKE
#3: BEING ABLE TO RUN AT LEAST 2 MILES
#4: BEING ABLE TO LIFT AND PLACE MY LUGGAGE IN THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT ON A PLANE
#5: WALK UP AND DOWN STAIRS WITHOUT HOLDING ON TO THE RAIL
#6: SWIM LAPS IN THE POOL
#7: CARRY MY OWN ITEMS FROM THE CAR TO THE BEACH AND BACK
#8: OPEN JARS
#9: CARRY, CLIMB, AND USE A LADDER
#10: DRIVE IN INCLEMENT WEATHER
#11: PRACTICE YOGA
#12: LIFT DUMBBELLS THAT ARE AT LEAST HALF MY BODY WEIGHT
#13: JUMP ON THE TRAMPOLINE
#14: SOLVE SUDOKU PUZZLES/WORD PROBLEMS
#15: KEEPING UP WITH TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES
#16: CARRY HEAVY THINGS (LIKE PUMPKINS OR LUGGAGE) TO/FROM MY CAR AND LOAD AND/OR UNLOAD
#17: PICK UP AND CARRY SMALL CHILDREN
#18: BASIC HOME REPAIR (BEING ABLE TO HANG ART, PAINT A WALL, CLEAN A RUG, ETC)
#19: STAND ON ONE FOOT
#20: BEING ABLE TO BEND OVER AND/OR REACH UP HIGH
#21: STANDARD STRENGTH SKILLS: PUSHUPS, SIT UPS, LUNGES, PLANK, ETC
Okay, now I want to know what would be on YOUR LIST!
Do you think about these things? I certainly do. I always think to myself things like “I better run two miles just so I don’t stop being able to run two miles”, etc.
I would love to know your thoughts too.
Today, as we look at pumpkins, drink pumpkin spice lattes, and watch Hocus Pocus, maybe we can do it while balancing on one foot?
(See? I have this amazing ability to incorporate fall into any blog post. 😉 )
Happy Wellness Wednesday, friends! Let’s all try to do something today we don’t want to one day lose!
I’ll see you back here tomorrow. xx
Emilee says
Yes, yes, yes! I teach first grade and one of my every favorite people in the world is my Kindergarten teacher. She’s now retired but subs often and I love seeing how active she is. She can easily get on and off the ground and is always talking about what activities her grandkids are in that keep her busy. I wanted to be just like my Kindergarten teacher when I was 5, and at 35 I feel the same way!
Elspeth Mizner says
These are such great ideas! I want to be able to load and unload my groceries. I want to be able to do laundry, get in and out of the bed and be able to walk or run daily. Great perspective!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Kelly Sites says
I work hard daily to keep focused on staying mobile every day of my life until the end. I do very similar things as you do. I read a lot daily and learn new things each week to keep my brain healthy and sharp. I take super good care of my teeth (I’m a teeth gal) so that I have all my own teeth forever 🙂 (ha!) I do squats all day long as I take my dogs out potty (I’ll do squats while they sniff) and do calf raises while I wait in line at a store. I try to park far away from everything so I can get more steps in. I walk walk walk at airports during layovers. I also build my faith daily (if you don’t use it you lose it- not literally of course, but I want to grow stronger in Jesus daily and know Him more daily) so I read my Bible, study, and pray like a warrior. I want a strong faith all the days of my life.
Mix and Match Mama says
TEETH! That’s a GREAT one to keep in mind!!
Lois A. Hilty says
One of our daughters, age 51, was told this week by her dentist who’s been practicing since 1978 that she (our daughter) has the best mouth/teeth she has ever seen. Goals!
Cheryl S says
Such an EXCELLENT point about faith! I once read, “Check your anchor because all you have to do to drift is nothing.”
Bren says
Yes! Thanks for sharing this, Cheryl!
Rea says
YES! All of this!
Darlene says
Go from sitting to standing without needing any assistance, whether pushing with arms or a lift.
Walking 3-5 miles everyday.
Mobility, stability, and strength
Paula Hobbs says
Ooof! This one is spot on. We just don’t realize how little day to day things are so important for our future selves. I’ll add one to the list. I always park as far (and safe) away from whatever building, store etc. and walk. There is no reason to circle the lot like a buzzard to try and find a closer spot to park. I find joy in the fact that I’m able to park far away and walk!
Mix and Match Mama says
I love this one, Paula!!
Jen says
Ha! So many people circle like a buzzard only to get a door ding from parking with all the others up close! I park in the boonies to get steps in and take care of my car!!!
Dana P says
oooohhh…this one’s a little convicting! Having 6 kids meant I was always lugging someone around, not to mention all the stuff that comes with that, from groceries to diaper bags, etc. But I have to admit that I prefer the easier life these days and have found myself wishing I could hire things out (like cleaning baseboards!) rather than do them. This is just the nudge I needed to embrace those physical and mental tasks! I also just re-downloaded the NY Times games. I really really enjoy those!
On the same note, I really wish I had kept up with stretching and flexibility while I was pregnant and having kids. Now that I workout again, my stretching is kinda sad. I used to plop right down into the splits, do a scorpion easily, etc. Now I can’t even come close! That might be a new goal, too-really try to focus on stretching again, including backbends.
Becky G says
I broke my foot (in the most boring way) 10 weeks ago and have been largely immobile since. As a 49 year old very active person, it has been a struggle!! It’s really made me think about the next 30+ years and ways that I can ensure my mobility as I get older. Keep moving is my goal. Walk, bike, take the stairs, don’t look for shortcuts. My dad and my paternal grandmother (who has since passed) are my inspiration. When I was a kid, my grandmother did not have her drivers license, but she had a bike with big baskets in the front and back. She lived in Detroit and the weather never stopped her from going anywhere she wanted to on her bike! I’m counting the weeks until my foot is healed.
Mix and Match Mama says
I am so sorry about your foot. I hope you’re back to 100% really soon!
Kerry says
You have had some wonderful inspiration to live by through your life. You are definitely someone that will follow in their footsteps and live a healthy lifestyle. Both sides of your family have long lifelines so I can see you following in their footsteps. Simply amazing!
M Jenkins says
Shay – have you shared your retirement plans on your blog? My husband and I recently decided to retire early so we can enjoy our days before we “lose them”. Just a thought for a new post. Madeley and Ashby might want to move to Nantucket to run your mobile IV business in the next two years 🙂
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh Andrew and I have no plans to retire. We both love what we get to do each day. I hope to blog and run my travel agency as long as I possibly can 🙂 .
Katie Compton says
A big ol WHEW… on the no retiring from blogging!! 😘
Mix and Match Mama says
I feel so grateful to be a part of this community. So, so grateful. xx
LisaD says
I want to keep hiking in moderate terrain at altitude! I want to hold grandchildren and great-grandchildren as long as I live. I want to walk up stairs and not have my body rebel. I want to live independently for as long as I possibly can. This is only a very short list of my “aging with grace” goals.
sandi says
All of these! This hits home because I am an older mom. I married at 31, had some infertility issues and all of my children were born after my 35th birthday. On Halloween, I will be 59. Two of our kids are out of college (one of those is married) and two are in college; they are between 18-24 years old. Our married daughter is in graduate school so plans for children is a little ways off. We babysit our pastor’s children frequently and joke that they are our practice grandchildren. On Monday, I was jumping on the trampoline with their two year old and want to be able to do that in the future also. Chronic pain sometimes puts a damper on what I can and cannot do, but I walk frequently, lift weights and try to eat healthy and keep my mind sharp.
Tara says
After knee surgery a year ago, I was non-weight bearing for 6 weeks and on crutches for 4 months. That gave me a glimpse into the things I definitely don’t want to lose—walking, playing with my kids, driving, carrying things on my own, managing stairs, and more. Now I’m doing everything I can to get back to where I was when my knee was healthy, and more!
Laci Murray says
Great ideas to keep us moving!
Debbie says
I completely agree with everything! I’m 56 years old and work out in the gym alongside an 83-year-old woman who lifts heavy weights. I often look at her and think, “I want to be just like her in my 80s.” It’s so motivating to see!
Kelly Brannan says
This is something my 93 year old Grandma always tells me, too: “Use it or lose it”. She lives in another state, but I’ll never forget when she visited us at age 88; she’s extremely frugal and didn’t want to fly, so she handled a twelve hour car ride with my aunt, and she did it like a champ with several stops for walks and a hotel stay along the way. My favorite memory of her trip was when we went for a night time swim in our neighborhood pool after dinner one night and she joined us, walking to the pool in a borrowed swimsuit, climbing down into the pool and swimming, then back out again. Right then, I added that to my own mental list of things I’d like to be able to do in my late 80’s, too.
Darian says
Love this reminder!! And a great time to start the routines when we are not melting in 100 degree heat! Thank you!
Sharon says
An older gentleman once told me “Don’t let the old man in.” I live by that!
V says
I couldn’t agree with the post more. My grandfather is almost 93 and is still getting around great, working in his woodshop, and until about 5 years ago, he was on the tractor on a daily basis. All my grandparents, with one exception (he died of cancer in his late 70), made it to their late 80s. So I know I’m going to live a long time, but I want to live an active full life as long as possible. It’s a huge motivation for working out. Your list is great!
Bailey Morris says
Um… well, this is off topic!!! But it’s a request for a list, so maybe it fits the “list” theme….sure. We’ll go with that.
I’m 29 years old and will (Lord willin’!!!) be engaged by the end of the year. (He’s the best!!!!) I’m in that phase where I have some really nice things (Dyson vacuum 4eva) and some left over from college/early adulthood (I’m looking at you, IKEA plates…). I need a new coffee maker (it’s time to say goodbye to the microplastics in K-cups!!!) – but I’m holding out for my wedding registry.
I don’t know if this applies to anyone else, but I would love a post about WHAT to ask for on my registry that stands the test of time. What did you wish you asked for? What do you still have and love? What was most meaningful to receive? What’s something you didn’t think you’d realize you’d use every day, but as you add kids/husband/dogs/life to the mix, you realized that opting for one that was just a little bit nicer made all the difference?
In general – I think you’d have lots of good advice around “things that have stood the test of time.” Traditions you’re glad you started with your fam, workouts that have sustained you for years, wise financial principles that have served you well, things you wish you had done sooner… I’m a long time reader so I feel like I know a lot of this stuff? (Is that weird? Jammy Cocoa Christmas, yoga/walking, save for & invest in experiences, listened to audiobooks? Did I cover it all? ;-)) But still – you’ve done life well and I trust your advice. Help me see around some corners I can’t see around just yet!! xoxo
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh goodness! You are too sweet, Bailey! I love the “what has stood the test of time” blog post idea. I’m writing that one down. Thank YOU, thank YOU!
Patty says
When we cruise I try to always take the stairs. We also ride bikes often and go on bike vacations every summer to great places around the country. Keeping up with grands is always challenging but fun too. My family genetics work against me in many areas, but I’m trying to stay active as much as I can!
Sarah C says
I love all of these! I’m currently pregnant with #4 and after a little scare, I’ve now been put on “house rest” (or house ARREST as I like to call it haha!) No lifting, exercising, vacuuming, picking up my kids, the laundry or anything… and trying my best not to go stir crazy in the meantime! I never considered myself super “fit”, but now being put on lockdown, I’m realizing I was much more active than even I knew! I know this is just for a season, but I can’t wait to be “active” again once baby boy is here! My sister in law has promised me a post-baby party where I can lift, vacuum, and clean all that I want to again haha!
Another thing I would add to this list is socializing and time with friends. My husband’s grandmother moved in to a retirement community when his grandfather passed and I swear, Nana has a busier social calendar than anyone else I know! She and her girlfriends- “the gals”- get together every single night for cards, games, a themed dinner, or something of the like and our family all agrees it’s added so much more life back to her years! Definitely something I want to continue to remind myself to invest in- time with my “gals”!
Mix and Match Mama says
I love love that you added the socializing aspect, Sarah! Thank YOU!
Paige E says
Yes yes yes! My husband and I talk about this all the time. My mom can run circles around me at 79 and she always says to just don’t stop doing things. My husbands parents are less motivated so we have both sides of the coin to observe. People are always telling me we will need to move into to a one level home at some point, but I say why? God willing I don’t have an ailment that makes that choice for me, I will just never stop walking up and down those stairs and then it won’t be an issue! Same with getting off the floor. I’m often offered a chair at family events and prefer to sit on the carpet with the kids so I won’t forget how. 🙂 Also, I try to do things like – drive in the city or take the dreaded interstate interchange-to work once in a while so I dont get uncomfortable doing it. And I love the stand on one foot idea! I stand at my desk most of the day and will add some balance practice! Lets train now to do our golden years well!
Elizabeth Spooner says
Yes!!! All of the things on your list. I broke my leg in May. I have the immediate goal of getting down on the ground and back up ALONE! I do want to easily walk up and down stairs so I can continue to travel. Can go up now, down I’m still working on.
Thank you for this inspiration🥰
Sarah Mulder says
Absolutely so good! My grandfather has MS and has been somewhat ‘immobile’ for what I can recall of my life. I only remember him with a cane and now he has a walker and a scooter/electric chair. His legs are pretty much not useful, so when he walks, he basically drags himself, so his core and upper body are strong, but the lower half needs to be manipulated. He is the most stubborn, yet determined man I know. He never lets us drop him off at a door or help him do much of anything. So when we gave him to option for my wedding processional to scooter up, he said absolutely not, and that man walked down the aisle at my wedding with my now husband escorting him. So when I am feeling too tired to workout in the morning or even go for a WALK, I always feel convicted back to him and what he would give to be able to go out for a morning walk. He was an avid walker and golfer, and man who still tends to his huge garden and plant collection- just in a different way now. Always something to be thankful for!
Addy Robinson says
I love this, Shay! I would add, “being intimate”…!
Unrelated, I am very much looking forward to the next book discussion because I have thoughts on Hollow Bones! I am curious if other readers found Evie to be a polarizing character/topic.
I just started Barbara Kingsolver’s “Partita” that just came out. The audio includes some music because it’s relevant to the story! It reminded me that her “Demon Copperhead” is incredible on audiobook. I heard her on the pod “Armchair Expert” and she spoke about auditioning voice actors to perform it and her choice was SO perfect.
Mix and Match Mama says
We will discuss on the 22nd! I can’t wait!
Susan P Fitzpatrick says
I agree with “use it or lose it”!! My parents are currently 84 and 83 and still active. My dad uses a wheelchair due to back issues but he still drives and goes to his ranch! My mom still drives and stays busy too with her garden. They like to be independent so I offer help when I really think they need it. My mother in law passed away at only 62 but my father in law just turned 91! I hope to live to my 90’s too but still active!
Beth Valenta says
This is such a great reminder. I look at my sweet mom at 84 who had a bad fall and now if not driving, has a walker, and so many replacements. I feel so fortunate to keep moving. Walking is my key, stretching, being social, and keeping that brain active. My hubby and I do a strategic game each night. I love to travel and be present, so I keep moving. I move all day working at school, but I keep it up when I leave.
Kay says
Reading! My grandmother read until her eyes gave out and I plan to do the same. Reading adds so much to my life and I don’t want to give it up even if my eyesight lessens. Another good thing about audio books I guess? We can listen and walk well into our 90s 🙂
Cris says
I think about the need to stay social. I find that the more I stay home, the more I want to stay home. Thank goodness I have a few “pursuers” in my life who don’t let me get too hermit-y! Also, I don’t want to lose the ability to just be. It’s so hard not to pick up my phone or laptop in the tiny pockets of time that would be better used doing “nothing”. Thanks for this post! I just had a birthday that ends in zero, so I’m pondering in decades right now!
Cindy D. says
Great post. Yes, you must use it or lose it. I’m 65 and it gets harder, so keep going
no matter how hard it gets. Loving this cooler weather, Shea !
Vickie says
I am 73. My retired physician husband is 74 with Parkinson’s disease. He has always been extremely active and a very healthy eater. The Parkinson’s has changed our lives and limits us. The thing we try to really work on as we navigate getting older and Parkinson’s is our attitude. We try to keep an attitude of joy and thankfulness. The way we do this is to keep our focus on Jesus and not our limitations. He has been so very very good to us. One of my everyday pleasures is reading this blog. Thank you for always lifting us up!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you for being here each day, Vickie. I am SO grateful for you!xx
Stephanie Thomas says
I love getting to see your grandparents! I lost my Mom last year and this is such a good reminder of everything I need to keep doing so my girls have me for many many years to come.
Nikki says
Yes! It is also mental, in many ways! I have Lupus and I had a mastectomy for (very early!) breast cancer about 6 years ago and one thing I’ve learned is that our brain-body connection is huge. Obviously when you’re sick, you need to rest. But something as simple as fixing your hair or putting on a little makeup can change your mental perspective and make your body feel better. I truly believe that the older generations valued getting dressed & ready each morning, taking a walk after eating, and valuing their relationships and mental health more than our generation does. That mental health connection is vital to physical health. Obviously mental health isn’t going to cure lupus or cancer, but it can help you walk through the hard times with a more positive attitude!
http://www.lifeunreconstructed.com
Angie R says
Getting married mid 40s and becoming a mama late 40s by adoption I think about these things regularly. My Mama is my inspiration who’s still helping manage 15 acres, mows on tractor, pulling vines, picking up sticks, makes a meal for however many show up and is my overnight babysitter. I thank God for her abilities regularly and pray that I will have a long life of strength as well!
AliJ. says
Great list!
My Mom is 92 years old and lives with us. She still does her own banking online, pays her bills, laundry (and does mine because she wants something to do), cleans my floors every week, drives herself to church every Sunday, Bible study and kinship on Thursdays, as well as drives to our local senior center on Tuesdays and Fridays. She also will drive herself any other place such as her hair or pedicure appointments. While she does have early Alzheimer’s, medication has helped tremendously as she also works her mind with puzzles, word searches, cross word puzzles, adult coloring books, reading for her Bible study so you would not know she has early Alzheimer’s unless you were around for a good amount of time. She may repeat herself but I just go with it and don’t correct her because it is always a very minor conversation and hey, she’s 92 so she needs to be given grace.
I know for myself, I need to be moving more often and with effort; build muscle; work on strengthening my core by doing yoga or pilates. I am already good at exercising my mind and eating well, just need the body moving more!
Dawn says
Hi, Shay,
Have you read Built to Move by Kelly and Juliet Sterrett? It speaks to this topic and you might enjoy it.
Mix and Match Mama says
I have not. I’m looking it up right now. Thank you!
Lyndsey says
Ok well I love this post! BUTTTT I absolutely thought this was going to be about purging junk from your life hahahaha. I have two sentimental girls and their mama is not, so my motto is if we don’t use it, we’re losing it! But this got my wheels turning another direction lol very thought provoking!
Mix and Match Mama says
Well that’s a great blog post idea for another day! Ha!
Diana says
Shay, thank you for your very thoughtful list of things we all need to continue to do for a healthy long life understanding there are things beyond our control. I am about to turn 70, and a few items on your list are getting difficult for me (putting my luggage in the overhead compartment). Wake up call! Use it or lose it is soooo true. Thank you for the reminder!!
I don’t know if this exactly fits on your list, but I find continuing to help others keeps me young. For example volunteering at the community theatre as an usher. Volunteering at help feed the homeless events. It keeps you out in the world and not thinking about yourself and what you literally
cannot do. It also motivates me to keep moving and to “use it”, so I can continue helping others which brings me joy.
A final thought, reading your blog keeps me young.
You are a very wise woman and still teach this almost 70 year old a thing or two or three. Thank you!!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you, thank you for sharing these! All three of my grandparents that were fortunate enough to live well, long were/are very very social and active parts of their community. You are absolutely right here. xx
Lauren says
This post will stick with me, thank you! Even if I’m confident I can do some of these things, it’s a great reminder to do them every so often (like run those two miles!) to ensure, check how I feel and see if I need to make adjustments. And always remember to do yoga and stretch, have to stay flexible!
Catherine says
Shay, this is a great and thought provoking post. Thank you for the inspiration, and your grandparents are goals! I have thought of this topic before, and unfortunately I have the opposite example in my life. My mom is 80 and chooses to stay home and not do anything. She is requiring more and more assistance from me. Your post has inspired me to make my list of use it or lose as I want to age well and be as independent as I can for as long as I can.
Mix and Match Mama says
Sending YOU so much love, Catherine!
Beth says
This post is so encouraging. I have enjoyed reading all of the comments and thank you Shay for your list. I am currently reading a book related to this subject. Dust to Dust by Jen Wilkin. Highly recommend!
She says “Bodies decline, people develop”
Mix and Match Mama says
Well that’s a mic drop phrase right there!
Delaney Elkins says
I love this!! Yes, I completely agree. I think all of these things keep your MIND sharp, too!