Today on Show & Tell Tuesday, we are sharing our Momfessional Moments :).
So, Andrea coined the term “momfessional” which means little confessions we make about things we do as moms. Oh dear…I’m sure I have hundreds of little momfessionals, but since 13 is my favorite number, today, I’m sharing 13 of mine. I can’t wait to go and read all of the other confessions linked up today. Being a mom is tricky business and sometimes, we do the funniest things just to survive…
Shay’s Momfessionals:
1. Bath Time: I consider myself a really good mom. I love my kids, I love spending time with them, I love, love, love caring for them…until bath time. I do not like bathing my kids. If they could somehow figure out how to get kids clean without using water, I’d be all in. Bath time drives me crazy! They’re loud, it’s wet, I use my “mom” voice the entire time…I despise bath time. I’m a super good mom until it’s time to clean them and then at that point…not so much.
Don’t let this sweet picture fool you…they’re like wild animals in that tub…
2. Getting out of bath time: I strategically save laundry until the end of the day so that when it’s bath time, I can say to Andrew “why don’t you bathe the kids while I do the laundry”. He takes the kids upstairs and bathes them while I hang out downstairs watching TV and folding laundry in the peace and quiet. I didn’t think he was on to this routine until the other day when he said that he wanted to switch and fold laundry while watching Everybody Loves Raymond while I bathed three crazy kids. Uh-oh, busted.
3. 5 Second Rule: Let’s be honest, I live by the 5 minute rule.
4. Carpool Line: I arrive at Kensington’s school early every day to wait in line to pick her up for two reasons: first, when school’s out, I want her to be able to hop in the car first and head home…and second, I love the forced quiet time in my car while I wait. No TV, no distractions, just me, my coffee, my book and quiet.
5. Keeping them awake: I don’t know about you…but if I’m driving home with my kids around nap time, I DO NOT want them falling asleep in the car!! If they fall asleep for even a minute, it throws off their nap. I may or may not be the mom that rolls down the windows next to said sleepy child in order to keep them awake. I’ll roll them down and up over and over again just to catch their attention and distract them…I may or may not do this even if it’s freezing outside.
6. I’m not above hiding: I like to fold laundry in my closet…and if I hear tattling, whining, the phrase “mom ____ won’t share”, and whatnot, I stay quiet and hope they can’t find me.
7. Homework: This year at school, Kensington’s class is responsible for collecting their own homework at the end of the day and taking it with them. Kensington forgot to do this four times this year and each time, I secretly had a party in my head. Woohoo! No homework tonight! Yay!! Outwardly, I was reminding her how important it is to remember homework each night, but inwardly, I’m having a dance party. Homework wears me out every night.
8. My own little office: When my kids were smaller, I would almost always get us in the car a good 5 or 10 minutes before we needed to leave, turn the car on, back out on to the driveway and then sit there and answer emails/phone calls and whatnot…like my own little office. The kiddos were all snug in their car seats and not running around like crazy people, so it was calm, quiet and everyone was restrained. This became a really nice way for me to do a little work each day…from the car.
9. Chutes and Ladders: I hate Chutes and Ladders. It never ends. I cringe when that’s the game they select. (I may also beg them to pick another game…)
10. Sheets: I always have the best intentions when it comes to washing my kids’ sheets. I always tell myself that I’ll do it once a week. Yeah, that never happens. Ever.
11. Band-Aids: I swear…I buy boxes and boxes of Band-Aids at the grocery store but whenever someone is bleeding, I can’t find one. I don’t know where they go…but you should never count on me to have one.
And while we’re at it…thermometers…yeah, I never know where the thermometer is either. I’m sure we have one or two…but if you’re hot, good luck trying to actually locate one at my house.
12. Crafting: .We craft a lot at my house. My kids love glue, scissors, glitter, markers, stickers and such…I secretly cringe when they ask (almost daily) if they (or we) can craft. In my head, I’m thinking “pleeeeeease go play with something else instead!” but I oblige their artsy side. Just the sound of them dumping the package of 50 markers out all over the table makes my stomach drop…crafting just isn’t my thing.
13. Grocery Store lines: Please don’t tell me that there is a shorter line at the next register…I picked the long line on purpose. How many times during the day do I have the chance to flip through a magazine? I’m going to push my cart up to the longest line and read Us Weekly every time.
Hope you enjoyed a few of my momfessionals! Now, I’m off to read everyone else’s!
Next time on Show & Tell Tuesdays, we’re sharing what we wanted to be when we grew up! And to see posts from the past…
(I was in China for the first two, so I wasn’t able to participate.)
And on my foodie blog today…
…Pineapple Teriyaki Salmon is for dinner!
Justine says
Shay! SO right there with you on bath time, keeping my kids awake in the car and using my car as an "office!" Ha!! so nice to know I am not alone in my craziness! Have a great day!!
Amber says
I loved all of these especially Chutes and Ladders (AMEN!) and picking the long line at the grocery store…especially if I'm childless! Love your blog and your sweet family.
Johannah says
I'm so there with you on bath time! Ugh! It's my LEAST favorite thing to do, like ever! And I also will not let me girls fall asleep in the car on the way home from daycare/school. I've been that mom that sings loudly, acts crazy, and yes rolls the windows down to keep them awake! =)
Macy Strozier says
I love hearing all your momfessional moments. The band-aids, me and my
Sister used to LOVE band-aids too. My mom put them in a high counter where we couldn't reach it and there was no other way to get it except if we asked one of our parents. Or, you can get the normal tan ones. I'm not sure if your already doing this, but I just wanted to share what my mom did 🙂
Anonymous says
You've got a so many that I do too! Haha! Keeping silent when someone's looking for you just to tattle!
Erika Slaughter says
I'm right there with you on the thermometer and the band-aids!! Love your crazy, girl!! And…no wonder you're a pro at laundry! It gets you out of bath time!!
Denise Panetta says
My daughters are adults now but I sure laughed out loud remembering that quite a few of your's were some of mine. Brings back memories of when they were little.
Abby Carver says
Love the homework one. Sounds reasonable to me!
Karen says
I hate bath time too! It's the worst. I'm hoping it gets better when my 9 month old is steadier and can sit in the tub w big sis. Also rolling the windows up and down to avoid a car nap is GENIUS! Thank you!
Kelly Stamps says
Ha ha I'm saying yes to every one of these things!!!!!!! So agree!
Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} says
I'll take bath time over laundry EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK. And when Carter was little and trying to fall asleep in the car, I would totally do the window thing. I may or may not have also "sung" (yelled) TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR at the top of my longs. 🙂
Stacy says
I'm even worse. I'll sheepishly admit to having tapped my brakes to wake them up. Multiple times.
Mama Of Boys says
Every time you post a photo of your kids in that bath I am convinced they have shrunk and they are in the sink?? How big is that window?!
I sometimes hide my entire head inside a kitchen cabinet to eat a Twix bar so they won't hear/see me. Sigh!
And yes to the car nap thing. I have girlfriends who can't understand it at all, but if either of my boys gets 5mins in the car, I can NOT get them into bed without waking them and then they feel all refreshed and happy to race again…and normally I'd get a 2hr window of peace and quiet. NOTHING COMES BETWEEN THIS MAMA AND 2HOURS OF PEACE!!!
Gucci Girl says
I don't even know you but I love you for the twix comment!!
Sylvie Baccega says
Oh my I was laughing out loud to the nap one cause I do that ALL the time. Never thought about the grocery line one but I will be doing that in terms future!
Mandy K says
Ahhh! The window thing and sheet thing. Why do I dread changing their sheets so much? I mean, I can't stand the crib sheets for a reason, but their big kid beds? Why do I dislike that SO much?! My oldest son starts preschool in September, and I'm so excited for car line time. I love reading your Momfessions, Shay!
Narci says
Haha! I love them all! And, you doing laundry during bath time is GENIUS!!!
Sarah Shaneyfelt says
So funny! I can see myself doing some of those when I become a mom…..like hating arts and crafts time! I am not a crafty person and I hate the mess it makes!
Sarah at http://meettheshaneyfelts.blogspot.com
Polka Dot Blossom says
Oh my word, I love every single one of these! Thank you for being real!
Anonymous says
This was hilarious! I completely agree on bath time and craft time. And ditto on the long line at the grocery store. Another reason I like the long line is because then I'm not racing the cashier to get all my items on the belt as they scan them. It actually makes me feel stressed out and rushed to go in a short line or a "no waiting" line! LOL
Reagan Morris says
Loved these! Especially the homework one. It's so nice to hear another mom say these things. Thank you!!
The Boutelle Family says
I feel like these momfessional moments are also helpful tips 😉 rolling the window up & down to keep a sleepy kid awake?! Genius! Also, I totally do #8 too!
Carrie Miller says
Three things….1) We just bought Chutes and Ladders as our first board game for our boys. You may have just crushed my dreams of family game nights with your comment about the game haha! 2) I HATE bath time as well. It's literally the worst part of my day and one reason why my kids don't get bathed every day. (Oh, the shame!) 3) I'm not crafy either and I cringe when the crayons/markers/stickers get brought out.
Kelcie_Hansberry says
I love this!! Thank you for being so real and honest!
Taylor and Robin says
Stealing the "office time" idea – BRILLIANT! We're always late though so this will totally freak my oldest child out. 😉 And I'm with you on the crafting – pllleeeeaassssseeeee choose anything but that!! Though my momfessional is that we didn't even own a pair of kid scissors until my oldest was 4 (and I may or may not have ever let them use them). Preschool is for crafting! Home crafting is color wonder "markers" and coloring books!
Laci Murray says
I agree with all of the above! I realized the other day I have been giving a child a bath for 10 years now! My oldest is turning 10 and my youngest still needs help with bath time. It's exhausting! Then if you have girls you have the whole wet hair thing….uhhh! Homework in my opinion should only be given if there is a test to study for! Homework wears me out!! Trying to tame an almost 7 year old after school to do MORE work, not happening! Summer is almost here!
Katlin Smith says
I will have to try the window trick! And I agree with the 5 second rule or longer! I hate wasting food I just blow it off and hand it back to him. Plus I think every Mom hides.
Anonymous says
This. was. the. best. post. ever! I read ur posts every day. Thanks for this it was awesome!
Chrissy says
My thoughts exactly! This totally made my morning.
She's a big star says
I swear one of my greatest days as a mom was when my kids learned to shower by themselves… seriously, heavenly!!
Elizabeth P says
Yes, preach. These are mom TRUTHS. 🙂
Emily Dunham says
I loved reading this!! These little tricks are something I definitely need to remember when I hopefully become a mom some day!
Mary-Beth says
This is absolutely the best momfessional yet!!! I loved this. Parenthood truly is about survival and doing what you can to keep your sanity 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
dresselfamily.blogspot.com says
Yes, yes and yes!!!!!
Kerry Dorman says
Love your momfessionals! Peace and Quiet is a commodity at our house too!
Kelsey Mann Peacock says
Love this post! I'm not a mom yet but it's so encouraging seeing really great moms admit their faults & quirks! We all have them and I think it's just so much more fun and honest to own them 🙂
Kelsey
http://www.thepeacockroost.com
Erin says
I can so relate on the laundry thing! Mine is that I claim I am putting our toddler to bed, then after she falls asleep I sit around surfing the ipad while my husband deals with bedtime routine for our older two. I thought it was a secret but he is totally on to me!
farmwife03 says
I hate bath time too!!! We usually tag team it. My kindergartner started taking showers every night and I bathe my 16 month old ever other night. So, on the nights that both kids are getting washed, the oldest goes into the stand up shower and the baby in the tub and we float back and forth getting them both cleaned. And I think that Chutes and Ladders is pure EVIL!! We definitely "cheat" to make it go faster; there's a good chance we alter the rules without her catching on 😉
Anonymous says
Thank you for clarifying the word "momfessional!" For some reason, I always thought it meant "professional mom" haha 🙂
Paula says
Me, too!!
Erin says
It was SO SO refreshing to read this! When my husband is not out of town, he puts our daughter to bed. It is my favorite time of day … silence!
Miranda Hanscom says
Looooove this!
Shawnee says
I could have written all of these myself when my kids were younger!! I HATE crafts and we seldom did them….thank goodness I have boys and they didn't care about them much anyway. And bath time, I got out of it every chance I could and was so happy when they didn't need me to bathe them anymore!! 🙂
Paula says
I love all your "momfessionals" and many are all to familiar. Starting with bath time….ugh….DREAD! Wet, soapy wash cloth wipe downs do happen just to avoid the bath.
leanna nelson says
I love reading your "momfessionals". It makes me feel like I'm not the only crazy mom in the world lol.
Jenny says
Hahaha!!!! I am so with you on the homework and crafting! Love this post!
Melanie Lien says
This is hysterical. I loved this post! The longest grocery line- but yes!
mandyjacks says
The SHEETS. I can't get sheets on a schedule!!! I hated bath time too. Mine are all on their own now and what I hate is the arguing they do with me over taking showers. I keep thinking eventually they will actually care about being clean!! Ha!
Jordan says
I love this! Thank you for your honesty! 🙂
stefenie garcia says
I'm cracking up reading all 13 because I can relate to almost all of them! It's hilarious!! Here's one I have, I love to go to the grocery store by myself and will spend about two hours there just enjoying the peace and quiet, like its a mini vacation! Lol!! ?
Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld says
Number 5!!!! I'M DYING!!!! And I'm SO glad that I'm not the only one who resorts to those desperate measures to keep my kids awake!
Rana Dissi says
I think this is the first time I have posted a comment but your list made me laugh. I have definitely hidden from my kids and also dread bath time. My kids had another game that was about sharing that I absolutely hated. I would always try to get them to pick something else but it had to be that game. Lucky for me they lost some of the pieces so they couldn't play it anymore and I actually haven't been able to find it in any other stores.
Anonymous says
Our grocery store, Wegmans, offers FREE 1 hour babysitting while you shop. They also have a wonderful prepared foods section and tables to sit at. So my hubby and I might have had a date night or two while our kids played 😉
thebusybrunette says
Hi, Shay! Loved your post today. There are so many of your momfessionals that ring true to me. There's one I have to disagree with you on, though – bath time! I actually love it because my son is forced to sit (somewhat) still and is confined within the tub instead of destroying the house by body slamming himself into everything. Plus, he bathes in the bathroom my husband and I use… so it's a great time for me to do a quick clean of our (usually very dirty) bathroom.
Totally agree with you about crafting, though. I DESPISE CRAFTING. The fact that it makes such a mess only adds to my hatred!
Have a great day!
"The Busy Brunette"
http://thebusybrunette.blogspot.com/
Debbie says
My daughters are grown and married but I can so relate. Bath time, homework, and Monopoly. I'd rather play anything besides Monopoly. It never ends! Thanks for sharing!
graceandlee says
um yeah. BATHTIME. OH that. My husbands job! And I have been known to hide in that bathroom a time or two. Cooking dinner is now my quiet time while my toddler plays with my hubby outside. We all have our momfessions…thanks for sharing yours!
Anonymous says
Thank you for sharing! I too dread bath time! I'm not sure what it is, but it's not my thing!
Jane @ anothermommablog.blogspot.com says
LOL! I hear ya on the Chutes and Ladders and bath time!
Anonymous says
I read your blog every single day!! This is by far my favorite! Love how honest you are!!
Kacey Wilson says
I think you just described me. ?
Julie Clark says
The kindergarteners are responsible for getting their own homework??? I teach first grade, and that just seems crazy to me. But I guess it works out for you sometimes. 🙂 But wait! Doesn't K have to makeup what she missed?
Morgan says
hahahaha! I totally get these. 🙂
Michelle N. says
Ok 2 things.
1. Eventually they will get bath time figured out on their own. And then eventually they will switch to showers.
2. Homework. Oh honey. You just wait. My kids are old enough that they have study hall now and get it done then but when my son was in 4th and 5th the drama almost killed me. His theory was he had been in school for 7 hours already and if they couldn't teach it to him in that time then oh well cause now they were cutting into his time. Makes sense but oh! Just make them sit down and get it done so you can get on with your life. Mine can have a snack and read or play or bike ride or whatever but no screens of any size, shape or form until the work is done.
whitneylee says
Yes! EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
Chelsea says
I'm so glad to hear your complaint on Chutes and Ladders. I have such a hard time sitting still to play that game and I may have cheated a few times just so I could win and it could be over faster.
Slightly Askew Designs says
I'm SHOCKED about your kids sheets! SHOCKED! It's so "un-Shay", but I LOVE it! 🙂
Melissa H. says
Oh my goodness, I love this list! It is so encouraging to know I am not the only one who does these things. I especially related to the crafts, the sheets and the trying to keep them awake so they would nap when we got home. Thank you for your honesty!
Keisha Dawson says
I can't even begin to tell you just how much I love this list! Thank you fore being so honest and open. I think the "Sheet" momfessional was my favorite. I have actually put a reminder on my phone to do this, and I still just don't.
Beautifully Seaside // Formerly Chic Coastal Living says
I have a question? Do you deliver?
Your food posts are amazing!
I used to love arriving early and waiting in the carpool line and being able to read in quite was perfect. Too bad I didn't drink coffee back then, because that would have been even better.
Vesti says
My goodness…I could have written this list! I absolutely HATE bath time, chutes and ladders, and crafting! I often only remember to change my kids sheets every 2 weeks, and almost daily you will find me hiding in my closet checking Facebook when we first get home from school/work. Always good to know I'm not alone!
Happylife38 says
I am not from this country: what in the world is chutes and ladders???!! I'm thinking I don't want to find out, especially if it's a virtually non-ending game…is there really something out there that takes longer than monopoly??? Blegh!!!!
Happylife38 says
Oh and a quick add-on to my previous comment above: just as an fyi: crafts are awful in any country!!! Lol!!! Oooooh the mess!!! Noooooooo!!!!
Jeanie says
Oh, Shay, that was funny! Love your honesty.
Anonymous says
When you work all day and the only time you get to spend with your kids is bath and homework you look forward to that part of the day. And homework – just wait until Algebra! You'll be missing kinder. Your housekeeper doesn't do sheets? That would be on my list of must!
Natalie says
This made me love you even more! You are so funny and real. I love your blog and wish we could be besties!!
Kellie says
Seriously, where do all the thermometers and bandaids go? I have had the same problem for YEARS!
Leigh says
I can relate to so many of these, especially the band-aids!!!! I know what happens to ours though, my almost 4 year old thinks he needs a band-aid ALL THE TIME. Gets a scratch, he needs a band-aid. Has a small bruise, he needs a band-aid. He runs a car into the couch, the car needs a band-aid. If I hide them, he finds them. I put them up high, he climbs up to get them. I buy band-aids at least once a week but we never have any if someone actually needs one.
Happylife38 says
I re-read this post and I am laughing so hard at everyone's comments because they are all so true and so funny. I almost choked when I read the comment above: "he runs a car into the couch, the car needs a band-aid." Hahahahahaha!!!!!! Also, someone above said they have hid their whole head into a kitchen cabinet to eat a Twix without the kids hearing. I do that to my boyfriend so I can eat a whole bar alone without him wanting a bite. You see, there is plenty for him to have his own, but he always "just wants a bite" grrrrr, no!!! this one is all mine. Hahaha!!!
MAK says
Dying laughing about keeping them awake in the car by rolling the windows up and down, I've done that so many times!!
Dollie says
Love all of these, especially the last! I could relate to all except the car pool line. I'm taking notes for next year my baby go's to kindergarten.
Lisa Odom says
Carpool line was my favorite time of the day! I would take my "non napper" with me and go get in line 30 minutes early. I would have a drink, snack and a stack of books all ready for her and a few magazines for me. She would usually fall asleep in the car which made me happy since napping or staying bed for rest time wasn't her thing.
Bathtime was the same as carpool time for me. I would sit on the floor by the tub with a book. My kids would complain that the water got too cold and they looked like raisins by the time I would get them out.
Love a long grocery line too!
Amanda m says
Absolutely loved your last one, "No I don't want to go to the shorter line, I want to read Us Weekly for 5 mins" haha great post Shay!!
Anonymous says
I have never commented before, but I have to say, I love this post! These made me laugh, and I agree wholeheartedly on these. The bath time, the homework, the office, rolling the window up and down, the sheets! Nice to know I am not alone.
Kimberly says
I don't mind bath time since I can usually read while my kids play, even if I do get a little wet. BUT if I do bath, my husband does kitchen and he doesn't clean it as well as I do, so I take kitchen over bath almost every time!
Marty says
Well, you had me until the grocery store one. There's no book or magazine that would ever make me want to choose the longest line at the grocery store. No way, no how. I think it's awesome for people who want to do that, but my goal was to get them all to the car safely, load the groceries in the back, strap them in…and GO HOME. My kids are all older now, but just remembering how stressful it was at the grocery store is about to make me break out into hives.
Aubrey says
YES! I love them all, but I especially share your loathing of baths, homework, and crafting! It feels so good to get a good momfessional off your chest!!
Sandy P says
I hear you on the band aids and thermometers.
amoveableme.com says
Love this! And love that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on during bath time! My (almost) 2 year old is obsessed with that show, and it would make bath time so much easier if he could watch it in the process of getting clean 🙂
jennibell says
This was a *great* post!!! How fun. Mine are older now (11, 12, 14, & 16) but bathtime was *always* my husband's job. . .and bedtime. I didn't like that either — I would make dinner, we'd eat, and I'd clean while he did baths. Then the kids would come out all nice and clean and calm and I would read books with them and then he'd do the bedtime thing. I was very, VERY spoiled that way. We still have bedtimes (!!) and he's still in charge — although now it's telling them to get showers and collecting all electronic devices for the night — ha! If I can give ANY momma of toddlers/young ones advice it would be to never, ever, let "bedtime" go. One of ours isn't tired at 9 (10 in the summer) (and it's not the 16-yr-old) and she just stays in her room and reads. . .that's why we collect devices — so they won't stay up all night being entertained. We're on summer break now and had to remind them that there is STILL a bedtime b/c my husband and I *need* that time together. So. . .parents, keep that one thing going and you'll have some still go to sleep when you tell them to — even at 16-almost-17!!! And it really has been a great thing for our marriage (20 years) to always have that time set aside for one another each night.
The Grass Skirt Blog says
Oh my goodness, I relate to this so much! Bath time is the absolute worst time of the day. I dread it so much that sometimes I let my kids have "stinky nights" and allow them to skip. I am also so with you on the napping in the car. I do everything in my power to keep them awake- whether that involves feeding them snacks or singing at the top of my lungs.
The Grass Skirt
The Mini Skirt
Alison says
I truly love reading your momfessionals Shay!
Dianna says
I LOVE this post! I am with you on bath time!!
Jaren says
Love this post! I think we live the same life! Although I think I learned a few more tricks. Bandaids are the thorn in my side! As far as baths, we finally had to separate my older two kids at about 5 and 6 years old. They got a little more independent and I couldn't take the wildness anymore. Now my oldest, who is 8, now does everything by herself including washing and fixing her own hair AND she's pretty good at it too!
Elizabeth Birenbaum says
I'm a little behind on reading and just read this post and I have to say I LOVED it! Especially the one on how to keep your kids from falling asleep in the car. I just read it out loud to my husband he might have said "that woman is a genius!" Needless to say, we will be trying that next time we're in the car around nap time!
Lisa Hertling says
Shay, I lol while reading this! I can totally relate to most of them if not all. Especially #1,2,5,6 and 7! I thought I was the only mama that felt /did those things? oh how I wish I were closer so we could all meet up at Starbucks and just lol together : )