Happy Monday, friends!
It’s another edition of SHAY’S RANDOM GRAB BAG!
Now, you know the drill…I pull some of your random questions and answer them all here in one little post.
If you missed Grab Bag #1, I covered everything from Kensington’s daily g-free meals, to where Andrew buys his clothes, marriage advice and more! Catch it HERE.
If you missed Grab Bag #2, I cover how I handle crappy days, parenting tips, how I started my travel agency, how I pack my toiletries and how I organize my closet! You can read that one HERE.
In Grab Bag #3’s post, I shared how I plan vacations for my family, more book suggestions, house cleaning tips and more #OOTD. You can catch that one HERE!
In Grab Bag #4, I answered questions regarding my kids’ quirks, Pinterest, what I wear on a plane and more! That post is HERE.
In Grab Bag #5, I chatted all things technology and kids, food items I always have on hand, our home buying process, details from our trip to Mexico and my relationship with Jesus. You can read that post HERE.
In Grab Bag #6, I answered questions about McKinney, fitness, faith and more!
In Grab Bag #7, I cover my favorite Peloton classes, how to “travel with extended family” which designer items I like to invest in and more!
In Grab Bag #8, I answer a question about how/when/where we decide to travel each year, my thoughts on how to make friends, how I bond with my teen boy and more!
And Grab Bag #9 included questions about working with small kids at home, scheduling, Andrew’s diet and more!
I looked through my batch of questions for 2024 and pulled some random ones for us today…and let me tell you, I think I pulled about 12 on the same topic! Y’all, apparently we all have question about…TEENAGERS.
I mean, just look at a few…
(These were just three of the ones I pulled. I legit pulled SO MANY!).
You guys, I have no clue! I don’t think we’ll know if I do a good job raising teenagers or not until they’re all in their 20s. Hahahaha!
I’m over here with a 14 and 15 year old on the struggle bus myself.
Some days are SO MUCH FUN! They are like adults. They’re funny, they like the same TV shows as me, they get my sarcasm (and give it right back to me), they’re helpful and so independent. I now don’t have to micromanage their lives (they turn in their homework, they put away their laundry, they are capable of bathing themselves, brushing their teeth and getting ready without me asking). These people living with me (who are both now taller than me!) are just a JOY some days. A JOY!
And then other days, I’m threatening boarding school.
Some days they have attitudes. Some days they have expectations that do not align with my own. Some days they do and say the dumbest things. Some days are HARD.
I have no answers. I am in the trenches with you guys and the Lord. Thank goodness the Lord is in the trenches with us because it’s not just my kids that I have to worry about. I have to worry about their friends, their classmates…basically, the “world” along with all the things that Satan uses to kill, steal and destroy. I have no answers, but I keep praying, keep spending a lot of time with my kids, keep my mouth shut and let them talk as often as I can. I try to be understanding, sympathetic and just “there” for them.
Time. I’m trying my hardest to put in the most time (and PRAYER!).
Whew!
Okay, in the “non-teen related question” section…
I’m just super organized and rely a lot on my calendar. (Do you guys use the Cozi family calendar? It’s my favorite!) I don’t know that I have much more of a system than that. I look at my calendar and put BIG items on it. For instance, I’ll start with our big travels around spring break, our summer, fall break and Christmas. After that, I’ll add my “normal” things like annual parties and holidays we host and jot those down. As I get kids’ sports schedules, I’ll add that stuff on the calendar (making any necessary changes as I need to) and then, we kind of take it season by season.
Right now, I’ve already looked ahead and our spring stuff is pretty lined up (we know when Ashby will play soccer and when Smith will row, cheer events are about to be sent out, so I’ll have that too). We have travels already booked and planned for this spring, and I *think* I’ll be hosting another Easter BBQ, so that’s on my radar too. When we get closer to Easter, I’ll plan that menu and such, but for now, I just have it on my calendar.
Exhausting.
Less exhausting.
Super Easy.
You guys enjoy those babies. Snuggle them and hold them and cuddle them as long as you can because you’re going to blink, and they’ll be teenagers. You will miss those babies SO MUCH. Buuuuuuut…some things in life will get significantly easier and travel is one of them. Keep doing it though. Keep taking those little kiddos with you as often and whenever you can because the memories I have from those trips are some of my fave. I might have been exhausted, but I look back now with so many fond memories.
Speaking of which…
My kids (even my littlest) can pack their own carry on bags without any help from mama now. The big kids really just bring snacks (of course), their phones, a phone charger, AirPods and depending on how long the flight is, maybe an eye mask or neck pillow. They’re very simple. We have iPads that we let the littles use for flights, so they pack those along with headphones and then Ashby likes to bring books to read while Mades brings notepads/coloring books and markers. The littles don’t pack a lot of snacks, but they do like to bring gum. It’s all pretty basic. None of us use sleep aids right now. I’m certainly not opposed, we’ve just been able to work it out without them over the years.
Potty training was the worst. For the love, not only were my kids terrible at it, but Andrew and I were terrible at teaching/coaching them. If you’ve read my blog for the last 15+ years then you know that we STRUGGLED during this season. What’s worse than having one kid who can’t potty train? Having two! Agh! So, yes, big struggles with that, but we never experienced the struggles with bed wetting. I know so many friends though whose kids did. I think it’s way more common than you think but moms just don’t talk about it enough. It’s a milestone just like all the others and for some kids, it just takes a bit longer. If you’re a mama out there who could speak into this, please do so! No one wants to feel like their kid is the only one wetting the bed.
My mom would say that I say no to most things. Bahahaha! It’s true though. I often find that people think that when you work at home you have unlimited time to do other things besides working during the day. I LOVE being able to work from home, and it does allow me to select certain times of the day to leave work and do something else but those are few and far between and not the general rule. Working from home has really made me have to be laser focused about how I spend my time and with whom. For example, I would love attend lunches with other moms from school/neighbors during the week. I always appreciate being asked, but I say no most of the time because if/when I do get a day to have lunch with someone, I want to have lunch with my besties. I am in a season of life where as much as I would love to get to know more people, I would rather focus on pouring into those I already know and love any chance I get.
Things I often say no to (not always, but often):
1: Volunteering at my kids’ schools. I used to spend hours and hours and hours every week volunteering at their schools, but I just can’t do that any more. Our schools are amazing and not lacking volunteers (often there is a lottery for many volunteer projects), so starting last year, I decided to really just pick and choose wisely where and when I volunteer to a) Free up my schedule and b) Make it really count when I was up there and c) Give other parents more opportunities.
2: Meeting people for lunch/coffee. When I do have a day to meet someone for lunch or coffee, I really want it to be people that I really want to pour into. I, unfortunately, have to say no a lot because I just don’t have the time during the day, so as much as I would love to, when I say “yes” to outside commitments, it means I’m saying “no” to my work and/or my family as I’ll have to make that time up at some point. My YES better be super strong if my NO is going against my work of my family.
3: Weekly group things like Bible studies. I always wish I could do the Bible studies my church has to offer, but unfortunately, they are either weekly at night (I can’t do that, thats family time) or they’re from like 10 to noon on a Thursday (right in the middle of my work day). So, I say no. Instead, I just do my Bible studies at home early in the morning by myself and then try to attend the quarterly ladies lunches my church offers instead (I can do things quarterly with a lot of enthusiasm but weekly is just not an option).
4: I don’t workout during the day. There are some awesome classes/opportunities to workout after 8:00 AM, but I say no to that because that’s my work time.
5: Andrew works in his office about five minutes from our house, and I work from home. I *try* to be accommodating as often as I can when people need to stop by and do things (pest control, maybe the HVAC guy needs to come, etc), but I sometimes tell him “no”, I cannot help the HVAC guy for an hour locate whatever and answer his questions today because I have a full workload, so if it needs to be done, you’ll need to take time from your work and come home and do it. Again, I *try* to be accommodating, but at the same time, just because I’m at home, doesn’t mean I can always drop what I’m doing to talk to the plumber. We both work, so it has to be a team effort even if I’m at home, and he’s in his office.
Does that help? I know it sounds harsh to say “no”, but every time I do it, I’m doing it so that I can say YES to my clients, my team members and my family. I always think of it like that.
Okay, that wraps up today’s GRAB BAG!
Thank you (always!) for leaving me so many questions/topics to cover! If you have any to add, head to the comment section and drop them there.
Happy, happy Monday! I’ll see you tomorrow! xx
Elspeth says
I always love your grab bag questions! They are so fun and I always learn something new!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Dana P says
Ohhh…that “no” one is tough! We have people in our lives who are very energized by hanging out with us, what a compliment! But trying to help them understand that we only have so much availability/margin is really difficult and guilt-inducing. What you said here is really helpful!
Erika Slaughter says
Teens!! Just when we think we have this parenting thing figured out….
Lisa D says
Saying “no” usually means that you are making your “yes” really count. As an older Mom/Grandparent now (my 3 adult children are in their 30’s), I offer this perspective — spending time with your teens will not always be easy but it will be worth it! Also, I use the expression “choose your battles” even now because some things are just not worth messing up a precious relationship. And a final thought, just listen. That’s it: love and listen. 😊
Becky G says
I’d love to have the answer book on teens! Sigh. LOTS of prayer. A comment on bedwetting…this was something when mine were younger that I never thought would be an issue, but was. The kiddos pediatrician asked about constipation. Who knew that constipation in kiddos can contribute to bed wetting. Not a solution, but something to look into for that reader.
Laci L Murray says
Bingo! I dealt with it in my first child-it wound up being an appt to urology and getting to the bottom of the issue!
Sheaffer says
Love that pic of you with K and S! And then the pic at the airport! WHAHHHHH! They were so little!
Traci says
Do your kids read your blog? I just wonder how they feel about their behavior called out as “dumb” in public.
Mix and Match Mama says
They would say I was being generous with my adjective here on my blog as they know what I’m talking about 🙂 .
Madison McGuire says
If you read the post – she did not call her kids dumb – she said they sometimes do an say dumb things. Don’t twist her words.
Vic says
If you read the comment, she did not accuse her of calling her kids dumb. She said “their behavior called out as “dumb”” which is exactly what was said in the post.
Mix and Match Mama says
No matter how you slice it, I think we all know my mama heart, and we all know that teenagers can be oh so dumb/ridiculous/wrong/immature/a whole lot of things.
Afedell says
Per bedwetting… it IS super common. Some kids it takes their bodies longer to get the memo to wake up if they need to use the bathroom, or for their bodies to be able to hold it all night long. It is completely normal to last until 8-9 yr olds. It is purely developmental. One thing that we did that helped was to take the child to the bathroom before we went to bed, so around 11 pm. They usually never remembered that we woke them up and took them, but they would always go and it helped. Usually the kids are really hard sleepers, thus not waking up to use the bathroom. Obviously limiting fluid intake before bed is helpful.
BUT, one day, they just stop. Their body and their brain link up and it is over. Hang in there, it doesn’t last forever.
Krista says
This was super helpful (and encouraging) – thank you for sharing!
Anne says
I would also say if you are concerned remember to ask at your next visit to the pediatrician.
Catherine A. says
Per the bedwetting question, one of my children struggled for a LONG time with it. We finally broke down and ordered a bed wetting alarm (bedwettingtherapy.com). It was expensive and took dedication (I slept in their room for a month on an air mattress so we wouldn’t wake the entire family), but it worked! When you get desperate enough, you’ll try most anything. Good luck! I know how stressful it is.
Shana Gardner says
Almost 20 years later and I still say that the best $60 I ever spent in my life was on a bed wetting alarm for my son. He was 8 years old and I was desperate and it worked after only ONE week! My only regret was wondering what took me so long to purchase it.
Anita says
The bed wetting alarm was a game changer for us as well. We were prepared to put in the time to get through it, our guy was a crazy heavy wetter, and 3 days with the alarm BAM! He was not wetting any more. Such a simple solution for our family.
Amy says
Yes! Our ten year old was still wetting the bed with no end in sight. We used TheraPee (bed wetting alarm) and the bed wetting stopped within a month! Best purchase ever!
Allison says
I LOL’ed at this line….
Some days they do and say the dumbest things.
So funny!! And so true/real!
Lindsay says
My son was bedwetting until 8/9. We patiently waited to outgrow it, then tried one bed alarm. That didn’t work so we tried the TheraPee alarm which was more expensive. It did work and very quickly- it seemed like he just needed help getting that awareness when he was deep sleeping. Hang in there, mamas!
Meredith says
YES, this!!! I’ve recommended TheraPee to sooo many parent friends. My son had NEVER had a dry night in his life. My gut instinct said he wasn’t just going to outgrow it. We started right TheraPee right before he turned 5. The process took from July-February for him to be fully night trained, though much more intense then first month or two. We used HSA money and bought from Amazon. I think it was around $200. My son loved it and so did we. Cannot recommend it enough.
Kathie says
Raising teens: be their safe place not the judgement zone, what rules you have, make them important to their growth and development, show them who you want them to be as their example. I have 2 children raised on my own, that are useful, functioning adults-29 and 32. Not perfect but respected and loving.
Shannon K. says
My daughter wet the bed until about 8-9 years old. We limited beverages after dinner and had her mattress covered. It was important to me to not make a big deal out of it and not to make her feel embarrassed. Her brother was not allowed to comment on it. If she wet the bed I just took the sheets off and washed them. We just stayed consistent with our routine of going to the bathroom before bed. Eventually she grew out of it and is now a mom herself.
K.K. says
Love the grab bag questions!! Also, made your spicy jelly bacon dip for a Super Bowl party yesterday, and it was a hit!! 🙂 Thanks, Shay.
Ruby H says
I read an article that said the teen/tween years require just as much attention as the toddler era…they need hugs, cuddles, extra patience, even more understanding and help. These aren’t the years to say “you’re almost an adult now, figure it out.” I can’t imagine saying that to my child, but I’m sure some parents do!
Stacey Mazurek says
OMG the potty training- I just had my grandson visit for three days- at the same time as they are trying to potty train him- well now it’s called potty learning. Pretty sure he is flunking. The new method is no pull up diapers, no training underwear, I have never cleaned up so much poop and pee.
I think my daughter should get a refund from the so called “ experts” that she paid for a training course.
Cris says
I have always been one to question my parenting, and lately that battle has really amped up. It’s not helping that my four adult kids are rethinking a lot of my mistakes lately as well. This morning as I was reading Mark 14:3–9, I was reminded that, like the woman who anointed Jesus’s feet, I did what I could. It’s comforting to read about the way Jesus defended her to her critics, saying, “She did what she could.“ Interestingly, in a completely unrelated book I picked up right after I read that, the author was talking about getting used to being good enough. I always think it’s interesting when God goes out of His way to hit me with the same message from more than one place. I’m so thankful that Jesus defends me and my past parenting work, saying, “She did what she could,” and that it’s good enough for Him. He’s also faithful to fill in the gaps, when my kids will just let Him.
Mix and Match Mama says
Yes and amen! What a good word! Thank you for sharing!!
Tina says
You said “ I am in a season of life where as much as I would love to get to know more people, I would rather focus on pouring into those I already know and love any chance I get.” I totally get this and I think many people in your age bracket (I’m about 10 years older than you) feel the same way. Just not enough time. BUT this comment makes me feel sad as it likely explains why I’ve had such a hard time meeting people and making friends in our new town (we’ve been here now for 1 1/2 years) people are just content to continue their existing friendships rather than making an effort to make new friends to “pour into”. It sounds like because I’m not someone’s friend already then I’m out of luck.
Mix and Match Mama says
I see that too! Geez, it’s hard to navigate this stuff sometimes.
Khirsten says
I 100% had this same thought as well. I have encountered this too.
Melissa says
I agree Tina. This was extremely discouraging to me. As someone who moves for her husband’s job, we have been the new people every few years. It is so isolating and lonely. People who are privileged enough to live in the same place their entire adult life don’t understand how hard it is to always be the person initiating, forced to make new local friends, and having people say no, or equally as heartbreaking, saying yes but not following through. I would love to challenge people to imagine themselves as the new person and give us a chance. When people talk about how to make friends as an adult but also aren’t actually open to new relationships, it is gut-wrenching. Would be such a blessing if more people were willing to say yes to the new person.
Mix and Match Mama says
Such a great perspective for me and other women who have lived in the same town for a long time (18 years). When I first moved here, I didn’t know anyone, so I went to church and that’s where I started making other friends quickly. Do you find that is helpful to you or not? I still meet so many new friends through church (more so than my kids’ schools as I seem the women at church regularly)? I am involved in my neighborhood’s monthly womens program too which has been so helpful in meeting all of my neighbors.
Tina says
Melissa, your post made me tear up. I totally get what you are saying and feel your hurt. Apparently I’m at a point of being exhausted at trying to make new connections and have kind of given up, atleast for now. As for utilizing churches…despite having a ridiculous amount of churches in our tiny town (just 2,200 people), barely anyone actually attends.I think covid sent people home and most didn’t return. I don’t know how it is in your area but here church is not the way to meet people. I just wanted to send some hugs your way!
Jennibell says
Everything you just said – so true! But when Shay said, “I just don’t have the time” that was me at one time too. So hard to navigate it all…. wish there was a “dating app” for moms no longer mothering full-time to meet one another 🙂
Mix and Match Mama says
Well there’s a million dollar idea!
josie says
I thought the exact same thing!! I’ve met so many people who are just not interested in meeting new people and it comes across as so snobbish and cliqueish. Like I have my friends, dont need anyone else in my circle. (not saying you’re like that, just the ones I’ve encountered.)
Mix and Match Mama says
It’s so hard! When you have limited time, do you pour into those you’re already in relationship with or with people you don’t know? I think church has always been a great, regular and weekly way for me to meet and get to know new people and then move forward into a deeper relationship (lunches, dinners, etc) as I get to know them on a real regular basis first.
Molly says
I’m going to play devils advocate here. It seems like you’ve made a lot of new friends on Nantucket. Isn’t it because they were willing to meet new people and invest time in getting to know you? Aren’t you glad they did?
Mix and Match Mama says
Of course! Please go back and make sure you read that I’m not saying “no” to making new friends (I just had Happy Hour last night with three women who also have daughters in 3rd grade that I do not know but was invited to get to know them…two are from out of state), but I’m saying that I cannot work fulltime and be a present mom for my family of six saying yes to everything. I have to have boundaries with my own time, so yes, I often do say no during work days when I need to work so that I’m not up late working while my family is home. I have to say no to my mom and best friends sometimes too. I think if I were working in an office building or maybe worked inside a hospital, no one would comment that I should stop working and leave the hospital or bank to meet someone for coffee. That’s the hard part with working from home, often, people have different expectations just because we haven’t left our home…the work and responsibility is still there. We should all be respectful of everyone’s time and always assume everyone is trying their best. I always think that when I reach out to people and they can’t because they have to work/have family things. I don’t take it personally. I always give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re doing their best.
Katie H. says
Love this post as I am currently in the years of having a toddler and baby! In regards to your kids/teens, I’m always curious about the dynamics of your kids with the Slaughters. Obviously your families are very best friends. I would anticipate that as we are all human there are arguments that happen from time to time. I’m thinking of teenage girls specifically, if that happens do you and Erika stay out of it? Do you mediate? Do you let them work it out? What role do you play in that?
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh those two girls are still as thick as thieves. If/when they do have arguments, that’s their business. I think if we were ever going to take sides, I would take Ebby Lee’s and Erika would take Kensington’s 😉 .
Katie H. says
That’s so amazing! My SIL has encountered her daughter (15) not getting along with her good friend’s daughter also (15) and they grew up together. I think for the most part they try to stay out of it and let the girls work it out. I’m sure the amazing role models your girls have in their life regarding relationships and friendships also help!
Nicole says
Hey Shay!! Do you have rules about your kids dating?! Or texting the opposite sex?! Thanks!
Mix and Match Mama says
We do. No one is old enough at our house yet to “date” someone, but they’re getting very close.
Nicole says
Could you share your rules? My oldest is only 11, and all of her friends have “boyfriends” and phones, texting the opposite sex. She’s my first, my oldest, help! I need advice! 😉😇😅
Mix and Match Mama says
My kiddos didn’t get phones until they were 13 and 14, and we didn’t open up conversations with the opposite sex until we felt each of them was ready/mature/etc. I feel like we knew when they were ready to have the ability to text a larger group than just their closest friends. I think we just kind of “knew” (and prayed and hoped for the best too…it’s hard to know/know, you know?).
sandi says
We have been traveling and I’m catching up on all of Shay’s recent posts… Let me start by saying we have four kids… a son who is a college junior, two sophomore college daughters and a high school sophomore. So we have been teen parents for a while. Our kids got phones the summer before heading into 9th grade. Phones were not allowed in bedrooms, upstairs overnight or in bathrooms. I have never been a fan of girls texting guys, especially as a first point of contact.
Dating guidelines: One thing my husband did was that the guys had to ask permission to get to know our daughters and spend time with them to see if they wanted to begin a dating relationship. My husband set the boundaries and they were quite rigid. I know it sounds strange, but these are OUR girls they do not belong to anyone except for us and God right now and the certainly are not the possession of a teen boy. You can hold her hand during the get to know you phase (about three months) but if you want to have that first kiss you needed to ask permission to cross that boundary. Give me all your criticism about this but my job (our job) is to protect our daughters and their hearts for what God has intended. Four on the floor is another fun jokey rule… sitting on a couch or anywhere really, four feet are on the floor. It is important for kids to know what to say in certain situations and how to get out of a situation they are not comfortable in. We did a lot of role playing with our kids so they would have a few sentences in their mind if they did not want to do something.
Our oldest daughter has been dating a spectacular young man for 3 years now. He knows our rules (his parents LOVE our rules) and he is super respectful. So yes… he held her hand and got to know her and my husband knew when he called to speak with him a second time after a few months that he was looking for permission to date and kiss our girl. He is now a college junior and she is a college sophomore (different schools about an hour apart) and he will call and sometimes ask our permission to take her places. For example, a few years ago for her birthday he wanted to take her on a day trip to an amusement park which would put them getting home later than normal and spending more hours together than normal. I like that he wants our opinion and asks permission to spend time with her. They spend a lot of time with us playing pickleball or watching movies and they also spend time with his parents. They visit each other at school and have set their own dating rules at this point. They also have a church they chose together that is about half way between the campuses.
Our second oldest daughter had a young man interested in her and he did speak with my husband. After a few weeks the relationship kind of fizzled and we knew he was not right for her but it took her a little longer to figure that out. Luckily not too much was invested because there was no physical relationship to feel guilty about.
Kids are growing up super fast these days and I know that at age 11 ours did not have the maturity to be in a relationship. But each child is different and I know the rules for each family will be different. In a world where throw away relationships and sex are the norm, we just want our kids to know that the first time you hold hands with someone is special, the first kiss is special, the first anything is special and once you check that “first” off the list you can never have another first. You do not want to have regrets that will harm a future marriage. Outdated concepts being taught so that our kids have less regret… but we also talk a lot about grace because there is forgiveness also.
There is an old book, Five Conversations to have with Your Daughter (also one about sons) that some may call outdated but it is a good resource for early conversations. Another by Annie F Downs called Perfectly Unique: Praising God From Head to Foot which was written for teens is also a good read. for what it is worth there is my two cents worth.
Mix and Match Mama says
Sandi, you are a GEM!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for always pouring into us and sharing your perspective. Sending you so much love for this. xx
Whitney says
Turning 40 this year and I’m in my “no” era without feeling bad/having fomo with things. I am a people pleaser so can be hard for me but I’m doing it haha🙂
Jenny N says
I had a kid that was a bedwetter until he was 8 or 9. We always woke him up to go to the bathroom before we went to bed, but we also put him in Goodnights so that we weren’t changing sheets often. The only place he ever spent the night was with his cousin at that age and his cousin had the same issue so it was not big deal. He finally just outgrew it. My mom said I had the same problem when I was little. We never made a big deal out of it.
Alice says
What is the coin/disc like necklace you wear so often that is on a paper lip chain? So cute and I notice it in many pictures!
Mix and Match Mama says
It’s from a shop on Nantucket called Love Shack 🙂 .
Rebecca J Vincent says
I have been out of blog world for a bit & I saw the pic of your kiddos & I literally gasped – WHAT HAPPENED??? HOW DID THEY GROW SO FAST???? I have to go now – check my gray hair.
Mix and Match Mama says
It’s just terrible, isn’t it? Welcome back!! xx
DIANE GLOVER says
REGARDING THOSE TEENAGES :
For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, “Don’t be afraid. I will help you.”
Isaiah 41:13
Now take a deep, comforting breath knowing all will be well XO (Been there done that) XO
Diane- teenager survivor says
Oh yes teenagers are fun, challenging but you just have to love them and met them where ever they are…that week, day, hour, nope that minute. 😆 So when I struggle I turn to books and this book was super helpful… Your teenager is not Crazy by Dr. Jeremy Clark and Jerusha Clark. Glad we all have questions..which tells me WE as parents aren’t crazy either 😊🤪