Shay’s Random Grab Bag #9

Happy Tuesday, friends!

It’s another edition of SHAY’S RANDOM GRAB BAG!

Now, you know the drill…I pull some of your random questions and answer them all here in one little post.

If you missed Grab Bag #1, I covered everything from Kensington’s daily g-free meals, to where Andrew buys his clothes, marriage advice and more!  Catch it HERE.

If you missed Grab Bag #2, I cover how I handle crappy days, parenting tips, how I started my travel agency, how I pack my toiletries and how I organize my closet!  You can read that one HERE.

In Grab Bag #3’s post, I shared how I plan vacations for my family, more book suggestions, house cleaning tips and more #OOTD.  You can catch that one HERE!

In Grab Bag #4, I answered questions regarding my kids’ quirks, Pinterest, what I wear on a plane and more!  That post is HERE.

In Grab Bag #5, I chatted all things technology and kids, food items I always have on hand, our home buying process, details from our trip to Mexico and my relationship with Jesus.  You can read that post HERE.

In Grab Bag #6, I answered questions about McKinney, fitness, faith and more!

In Grab Bag #7, I cover my favorite Peloton classes, how to “travel with extended family” which designer items I like to invest in and more!

And in Grab Bag #8, I answer a question about how/when/where we decide to travel each year, my thoughts on how to make friends, how I bond with my teen boy and more!

This time, when I randomly picked from your questions, I grabbed two in a row that complemented, so I’m lumping them together.

Here you go…

These questions are from the same person, so I thought I’d answer both.

I feel you.

When I speak to groups of women, this is ALWAYS a question I get during the Q&A portion of my “chat”.

Here are a few thoughts:

#1: I work a lot at this stage in my life.  When my kids were younger (you can head back to read hundreds of blog posts from that time period), I worked much less.  If you have really young kids at home and are also trying to work full time either from home or away from home, hear me when I say, I didn’t do what I’m doing now when they were all little.  Don’t look at this chapter in my life and apply it to that chapter.  In that chapter, I always worked, but it was part time.  I could fit in my work early in the morning and during nap time.  Now, I work full-time, BUT my kids all go to school all day, so I have at least 7 full hours to work when they’re not home.

#2: Which leads me to this thought: working during the summer season stresses me out.  I would be lying if I told you it was easy or that I didn’t freak a bit thinking about it.  My amazing job is year around, and during the school year, I get spoiled by all quiet hours alone to work, so then summer rolls around, and it takes me at least two full weeks to settle into my new routine with any sort of ease.  Even though my kids are older (I have two teenagers!), they still need me/need a driver/need someone to help with something/interrupt my quiet work time/are loud/are curious/are just plain FUN, so I want to be distracted by them, and that makes things harder.  I find this challenging as I really like hanging out with my kids, but I also really need/want/love to work every day too.  If you missed…

…my 21 Keys for Working at Home Summer Edition post, make sure you catch that too.

#3: I find that working while they’re asleep (no matter how old they are!) is much easier.  If you can, wake up early or if you’re a night owl, stay up later to get a bit in while they’re sleeping.  It’s shocking to me how much faster I work during those hours.

#4: I keep my office door open any time I can so that my kids can come and go, but if I shut it, that means, this is really a time mommy needs to be left alone to make a phone call/focus, so they shouldn’t knock unless they realllllllly need something.  I find that this has helped a lot.  My door stays open most of the time, so they really respect it when it’s closed.

#5: Ask for help!  Whether you’re asking your hubby, your mom, your neighbor, your friend, a babysitter…if you need to focus for a bit, ask someone to help.

#6: Stay focused.  When my kids are pulling me in other directions or when I really want to “play” and not work, that better mean that I am working hard when I have the time and not scrolling Instagram or shopping online at Nordstrom. When it’s work time, I need to work.  Every minute counts.

Listen, I could go on and on all day on the topic.  I really like to work.  I’ve always loved working.  Being a mom is my very favorite thing in the whole world and at my funeral, I hope that’s all they talk about “Shay loved being a mom more than anything!”, but I also like to work and that’s okay too.  I don’t have it all figured out, and many days, I’m a mess, but it brings me joy to do both, so I try to just enjoy both instead of worrying so much about the other.  If my kids seeing me happy to work, hopefully that will encourage them to find jobs that make them happy to work too.

But again, please keep everything in perspective.  When I started my travel agency, I only had two kids and they were 3 and 4.  I didn’t send many people on vacation, didn’t have any employees to oversee/train/manage…it started very, very, very small.  One vacation at a time, one day at a time, one year at a time, I now have nice sized agency where people travel 365 days a year…but it’s been almost 11 years of small growth to get me here.

Well just so we’re clear, sometimes, I’m a crappy wife and mom.  I find that doing  things that bring me joy (like my job) makes me better at all of my relationships as I’m happier and more content, but I have terrible days too where the people who live with me take the brunt of it.  If you’re looking for practical advice, I think being super organized helps.  My calendar is detailed, my meal planning always happens, I tell a lot of people “no” to make more time for things I love (like working and my family), which means I often prioritize (I don’t do a lot of girls lunches/extra things during the week because when I do, that takes away from work which then will take away from my time with my kids after school).  I almost always keep my phone on “do not disturb” so that I stay focused on work during work and on my family during family time.  I take days off and enjoy my family.

I’m here for all the “life stuff” myself!  Right now, here are just quick notes/thoughts about how I’m doing things during this chapter of my life:

• I am not “doing chores” during the day.  I stopped that about 2 years ago, and it’s helped me stay on task so much better. As someone who works from home, it’s so easy to get distracted, if only for a minute, by the laundry/dishes/vacuuming/opening the mail/etc.  I now only do those things before or after I work.  It hit me one day that Andrew doesn’t stop what he’s doing up at his office to flip the laundry, so why should I do it just because I’m home?  Those little minutes add up and my brain takes a beat more to go back into “work” mode if I stop and do another task, so now, I don’t.
• I am trying so hard to live only off of my Cozi app.  Now, I still use my actual planner too since it’s also part diary for me (I keep them and can look back over the years at the notes/daily items/etc), but I’m really, really, really trying to only use Cozi.  Now that we’re planning on spending more time in Massachusetts, I better keep everything organized, and my phone is just the best way to do it.
• I have started (slowly) adding Walmart+ grocery delivery to my routine.  Andrew and I both sincerely love grocery shopping, but some days, it’s just one more task I do not need on my plate.  I’ve only used this service now three times but all three have been very successful.  If you missed me break down my first experience with it, you can catch it HERE.
• I am still meal planning each week.  I find that sitting down for 10 minutes and making a plan really, really, really does make my life easier during those busy school days.  You can see how I meal plan HERE.
• My phone is basically on “do not disturb” 24/7 to keep me on task instead of looking down at my device.

Those are just a few ways I’m trying to stay on task and keep life simplified but full.

These next two questions are always “a fan favorite”…

Everyone loves them some Andrew 🙂 .

If you missed our Q&A video from February where we sit down and answer your questions, you can catch that HERE!  Andrew is certainly my better half!  I love that you ladies love him too.  As far as his diet goes, he should do an entire post on that (actually jotting that down now).  In my opinion, and he may disagree when he does said blog post, he was trained/accustomed to being one size/shape/having one diet while he played football, but then when he was finished, he realized he needed to quickly shape up/eat healthier/take care of himself to be happier/healthier/less in pain (he has terrible back and digestive issues) for a longer and healthier life.  I shall ask him to post.  Stay tuned!

That’s it for this Tuesday!

After a very long Spring Break (it ended up being 11 days long!), the kiddos are heading back today.  I hope you have a wonderful day! xx