Happy happy Wellness Wednesday, friends!
Last February, I shared…
…one of my first wellness posts, and it was dedicated to SLEEP.
Sleep is one of the things I’ve been focused on quite a bit over the last 18ish months and even though some might refer to it as “low hanging fruit” when it comes to taking care of your health, for me, it’s something that requires more attention.
I have a feeling that I’m not the only one battling getting enough good quality sleep, so I thought this was a good topic for us to revisit.
Okay, so assuming you’ve all read MY ORIGINAL POST, let’s chat sleep one year later…
…I would say that I’m still a work in progress, but I’m getting much, much better at getting enough restful sleep each night.
What was the biggest turning point for me?
Honestly?
I was finally able to get…
…this guy on board.
I know that I don’t “have” to go to bed at the same time as my husband, but at night, it’s hard when I’m trying to go to sleep, and he’s like “let’s watch an episode of (insert a show)” . I want to hang out with him and binge a show or sit on the patio and chat…I really like him, so when he wants to hang out, I want to say YES.
In 2024, I finally got him to see the value in going to bed earlier *many* nights of the week which made him feel more rested which encouraged him to want to do it again and thus, we both started wanting to go to sleep earlier. We have figured out that we are not likely to “sleep in”, but we are likely to go to sleep earlier…and that was a key.
Here are a few other things that have helped me get more sleep over the last year:
CONSISTENCY
Shocker, I love a routine.
I think having a consistent evening routine (as consistent as it can be with four busy kids) helped me get more sleep. Having the flow of shower, pajamas, read, sleep gets me in the “time for bed” mindset that has allowed me to turn in earlier. The more I do this routine, the easier and more consistent I am in getting to bed earlier and getting more rest.
THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT
I’m like a two year old, but I need “all my things” to go to sleep. I need the right environment whether I’m at home or in a hotel. I need it dark in the room and I need it cold. I like to read beforehand but nothing too intense. I also like the lights low as I’m getting ready for bed too (no harsh bright overhead lighting in the room or bathroom). I also really like ambient noise while I fall asleep. This helps me drown out all the little sounds that might keep me up…especially when I’m traveling. We just use white noise on Apple.
PUTTING AWAY MY PHONE
I have been trying really, really hard to stop looking at my phone at night. Of course, if my kids are not home, I look, but once everyone is in and settled, I put it away. I just realized that even texts about benign topics can keep me up a bit. I put it away until morning, and that really helps me fall asleep better.
TAKING MAGNESIUM
I promise, promise, promise to do an entire post on supplements, but I will tell you that for me (I’m not saying it’s for you), taking magnesium before bed has been really helpful. I’ve played around with a looooot of supplements over the last 18 months (more to come), and magnesium before bed has been really great at helping me sleep deeply. I have been using THIS ONE now for over a year. It has really worked well for me.
BEING HYDRATED
Last year, I also shared how being hydrated was another goal of mine. I don’t think I realized how much this was affecting my sleep until it wasn’t. You guys know me well enough by now to know that I have a bladder the size of an infant, so I was constantly “cutting off my liquids” well before bedtime…and waking up a little thirsty during the night. Now, I make sure I’m plenty hydrated during the day AND I drink a glass of water before bed. I heard this on a podcast and thought “no way”, but I tried it and truly, I sleep like a baby and don’t have to get up and potty. I’m not sure how God works that out, but it’s working. I’m super hydrated now before bed.
HAVING A MORNING ROUTINE I LOVE
I think one thing that really helps me get great sleep is that I LOVE my morning routine. I’m excited to wake up and start my day, so it’s motivating to me to get to bed earlier just to be rested for that portion of my day. If you don’t have a morning routine you love, I encourage you to build one. I have many posts about it, but my most recent one is HERE.
My goal right now is to get at least 7 to 7½ solid hours of sleep a night. That’s my goal and most nights, I meet it.
I am still wearing my OURA RING and a PART TWO will be coming soon about it, but I have found that it’s very helpful/insightful/encouraging regarding my sleep. Right now, I am only wearing it to sleep. I don’t wear it during the day as I find my Apple Watch records all the “daytime” info I need, so I just save it for my sleep metrics.
Whew!
Now, I want to read your comments about sleep. I would love to know your thoughts/struggles/ideas/encouragement whatever!
Thanks in advance for sharing! Have the best day! xx
Susan Jeffries says
Menopause and a few traumatic events have made sleep a rare commodity for me(: Also our daughter lives in NYC so that makes it hard to sleep too. We put our phones in our bathroom so we can still hear them but it keeps them far enough away. We don’t have a tv in our bedroom so we both read at night. I drink 8oz greens drink about an hour before bed and use essential oils like stress away in our diffuser and on my body. Melatonin has the opposite effect on me so I can’t use that. I found that if I stress about sleeping, or if I have a hard time sleeping, I just get up and move to the couch and read. It’s been a journey but getting better. Thanks for sharing what works for you too!
Elspeth says
I have found sleep to be so important and i have been trying to get into a better sleep routine myself! Thanks for the advice!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Kelly says
Sleep was a massive issue for me for YEARS. I was a horrible sleeper. I didn’t realize how horrible I felt until I started working on sleep all last year and felt so much better. I need my environment just right- cool temps, a fan for sound, the right pillow, and to go to bed early enough to pray, read a little and be ready for lights out at 10. The biggest two things that changed the game for me was magnesium and a sleep mask. I never thought I’d be a sleep mask person but it HELPS SO MUCH. I thought it would be annoying, hot, etc. It’s awesome. I found a great one on amazon that is thick yet silky and has little pockets for your eyes so it’s not flush up against your head. It takes away all the light in the room and helps so so much. I also use it during the day when I’m trying to just take 10 min to wind down and chill. I put my headphones on and listen to The Daily Calm (another game changer in my life lately) and put my sleep mask on to just quiet my mind. THE BEST. I used to get 60s on my sleep score on my FitBit and now I get high 80s and even low 90s consistently.
Andrea says
Would love your sleep mask recommendation!
Alexis says
Please share your sleep mask rec!!
Kelly says
Here you go;
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BRQ4SXKM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
Jenn Workman says
Alexis, I am wondering if Kelly & I have the same one from Amazon…it has been a game-changer! This is the one I use: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RS21VZ5/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
Jenn Workman says
Kelly, I bought a sleep mask when I was planning a trip to Greece last summer (for the plane), but I have found that it helps me SO much at home. I wonder if we have the same one! It is truly a game-changer.
Monica says
What did your sleep/morning routines look like with littles?! I know it’s a season (a beautiful but tough one!) and I’m trying to build healthy habits this year for myself with an almost two year old and a baby due in March 😅
Mix and Match Mama says
Awwww, you are in the TRENCHES right now! Give yourself a lot of grace. If you look through the archives (right hand sidebar on desktop), you can drop down to the 2008-2012ish era and see me at home with my really littles. I think a big key for me is making sure I wake up well before my kids. I personally find that waking up earlier and taking time to ease into my day/empty the dishwasher/make my bed/take a shower/read my Bible/simply enjoy the quiet and peace always made the mornings with my kiddos easier once they awoke. If my kids woke before/at the same time as me, I always felt behind all day long.
Erin says
Magnesium is a must. Most adults are completely deficient. Find one that works for you. Dr. Francesca LeBlanc is a wealth of information on magnesium. She recommends this one at night, and it’s awesome. You can shop around to find the best price on it. Just remember magnesium in general helps keep you regular, so sneak up on the dosing.
https://orthomolecularproducts.com/product/reacted-magnesium
Sarah Shaneyfelt says
Magnesium is a game changer!!!! I started taking it a couple of years ago and I sleep soooo much better with it. I even took it to the hospital with me when I gave birth.
MeetTheShaneyfelts
Sheaffer says
So many great tips! I go to bed just fine, but I need to figure out how to stay asleep soundly. I’ve been hearing a lot about grounding sheets lately, and I think that’s my next step.
Lori Whittington says
And this is me googling “grounding sheets” LOL I have never heard of this! 🙂
Jamie says
I tried a grounding sheet and it works for me. It could be all in my head, but I definitely noticed a difference. My husband was very skeptical, but truth be told he admitted an improvement in his sleep too.
Angela says
Can we talk about your beautiful bedding throughout the different seasons?! I love it! And seriously… can you do a post explaining the different layers and pillows and the different looks throughout each season? I am a “must make my bed every day kinda gal”… it just makes me so happy to see our bed neat and cozy! I always love seeing your newest pillows and sheets/quilts/throws.
Also, I’d love for you to share how/when you put your phone away for the evening. I struggle a TON with mindless scrolling when the family has gone to bed. Next thing I know, it’ll be an hour or two later. Whether it be searching for vacation ideas or scrolling through Instagram, it’s later than I want and I know I should be in bed working on getting better sleep. I need an evening routine and I think I need to set some boundaries with my social media. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
Mix and Match Mama says
You are too sweet! Okay, I have a post that’s about five years old on how I make my bed…but not much has really changed. You can see it here: https://mixandmatchmama.com/2020/03/bed-making-routine/
Also, you are not alone with mindless scrolling! I promise you, you’re not. I have started taking my watch off and my phone, plugging them in and not checking (as long as my kids are home). I use my evening time to read, and if I’m scrolling, that takes away from my reading (which I love). Do you like to read? Maybe you just need to replace scrolling with watching a movie or reading (something else) because I’m sure you want to unwind in some way or another. I also set timers on my watch when I’m looking online. When my timer goes off, I put my phone down. This keeps me from losing a lot of extra time. I’ll set it for five minutes and then stop when it goes off. For me, it takes a lot of discipline and practice.
Kristin says
I go to bed and get up at the same time, take magnesium, have my phone go to do not disturb (with calls from my kids allowed to break through), and have recently started doing yoga for insomnia before bed. Since starting the yoga, I’ve only had two bad nights. I wish it was zero, but that’s a lot to ask for. Shay, I also love sleeping in a cold room, but our bedroom is on the second floor, we only have one HVAC zone, and I can’t keep it cool enough. And this might be my imagination, but I swear the ceiling fan makes me have to get up to use the bathroom more! Maybe I just feel it and wake up, and that makes me realize there is something in my tiny bladder. How you keep your room cool enough to use flannel sheets all year round?? I used ours when it was below zero a few weeks ago, but had to switch back to regular the next week.
Mix and Match Mama says
We live in Texas where we basically use a/c year around. I don’t know? Those sheets just never make me hot. I adore them!!
Pamela says
I have struggled with sleep for last ten years so my Dr sent me for sleep study. It showed I was “wired and tired” and not breathing properly. I started using cpap machine and I can NOT believe the difference. It took about 2 weeks to get used to it but now I sleep better and pop up in morning ready to go…not sleepy during day either. The Dr said she has so many 20 year old athletes all the way to 80 year olds using it because people today just aren’t taking time to breathe. Thank you for your wellness posts…I love them
MB says
I’ve been obsessed about getting good sleep for a while so I loved reading this post! I may have to try your magnesium. Thanks!
Beth Valenta says
This was on my mind this morning. I wake up tired. I am nearing the end of menopause, and I cannot stay asleep. I am on trazadone and still am up at 3 am trying to fall back asleep for those 2 1/2 hours before school. I have the tv on, as when I turn it off, I can’t shut my mind down with things I have to do. So I am kind of listening, but not watching. I am going to try some yoga or calming routine earlier in the night to help with relaxing more. I welcome tips!
Kelly says
I’m sorry for your struggles- I had the exact same thing. I could fall asleep FAST, but always woke up at 2 a.m. and THEN my mind started going on all the things; solving world problems, worrying, planning, etc. Here are things that helped: magnesium at night, I read a gazillion books on sleep that had a lot of great sleep tips about what to do when you wake up in the night to calm your brain, and I watched MANY You Tube videos about it (search on You Tube, and you will find some great great videos that show you tips on how to get back to sleep- and THEY WORK. I do them all the time, and fall right back to sleep.) Also, I sighned up for the Calm app (meditation app) and I listen to one right before bed and it lulls me right to sleep and relaxes my mind. Help is out there on this, so don’t struggle on your own. Try You Tube first and find The Sleep Dr. on You Tube- he has GREAT tips.
K.K. says
Setting some sleep goals as well! I love working out early, early in the morning, but I realize I need to adjust that bed time. Why is it so hard?! 🙂
Charise says
I have both an Apple watch and Oura ring and have found that I much more prefer the Oura for daytime metrics and sleep tracking! I think that it’s been far more accurate than my watch and it’s been neat to see where I’m stressed during the days and what types of activities correlate with that.
Kristin says
This is so encouraging! I have followed your blog for a while and remember reading when you were sleeping A LOT less! My husband and I have the same struggle with one of us (might be me :)) wanting to stay up later. With 4 kids and jobs and all the life stuff, are you able to find other times to connect? This is my fear…I don’t want to give up that bonding time together. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Mix and Match Mama says
It’s always a balance, right? I feel like I’m constantly trying to squeeze in alllllll the moments to bond. My honest answer is that I just do the best I can. I’m no good to them exhausted either, so I just do my best and pray it’s enough.
Andrea says
I just read last night that no matter how well you are exercising and eating, if you don’t prioritize sleep, you’re going to feel terrible. It said sleep is the lead domino for good health!
Jennifer says
Do you go to bed before your teens? That’s where I’m struggling…I have 17 and 15 year old boys and I still stay up until they are in bed going to sleep for the night… then I try and wind down to go
To sleep and end up staying up way later than I should.
Mix and Match Mama says
If they’re in for the night, I do. My teens have to wake up super early for school, so they’re pretty motivated to go to bed early, but yes, I say goodnight, wrestle a hug and kiss on the cheek out of them and then head to bed.
Tara says
Love this post! What type of light do you use for reading at night?
Mix and Match Mama says
I read on my Kindle so the light is built in. The Kindle was a TOTAL GAME CHANGER for me. I fought it for years and now, I absolutely adore it.
Diane Moore says
Same! I just got one and love it. Why did I wait so long??
Ella Mostert says
I am looking forward to your post on supplements. I have downloaded the SuppCo recently recommended by a heart surgeon Jeremy London. You choose your goals and what you currently am taking, and the app gives suggestions of what you should add to meet your goals. I actually downloaded it because the app tells you the quality of the supplements from the brand you are taking.
Amy Owens says
Ok, I need some help on how you balance going to bed early enough with also parenting teens. I know I’m not getting enough sleep and I blame a great deal of that on not wanting to go to bed til my teens are in bed. Most nights it’s not an issue with my 13 year old, as he still goes to bed around 9 or 9:30, depending on weeknight activities. But the 15 year old…😜 I’m trying to let go of my more type A, routine, structured ways of wanting to tuck everyone in and have them in bed before I go. I know this is part of giving more freedom and autonomy, but it’s so hard! He’s a good boy and responsible, but still a teen! Do you just say good night and trust they’ll go to bed? I feel like you’ve said Smith goes to bed/rises early but that Kensington is your night owl.
Mix and Match Mama says
I stay awake until all the kiddos are home and then I trust that my teens go to bed when they need to for the next day. Kensington is night owl (so is Ashby), but she has to wake up every single day so early for cheer and school that she goes to bed early. I really trust them…and so far, so good. (I hope I didn’t just jinx myself! Hahaha!)
Moa says
Not sure if you have driving teens yet, but that is when my sleep tanked. I need to have my phone with me and have a hard time falling asleep until they are home. Not used to staying up past 9:30!
Laci says
Sleep is my biggest issues Mon-Friday with busy teenagers and basketball games! Ugh
Cris says
1. I’m curious what the temperature is in your home, and if you keep it consistent throughout the day or if you lower it at night.
2. When you wake up, do you feel groggy at first, or do you jump out of bed ready to go?
3. I recently started taking progesterone at night. It’s weird…sometimes it helps a lot with sleep, and other times not so much. It may need some tweaking!
Mix and Match Mama says
Great questions!
1: The temp overall at my house is probably 70 most days. At night, we lower it to 65 though for sleeping.
2: Some days I do, but most of the time, I jump right up because I’m excited to drink my coffee and head to my cozy chair to read and do my quiet time.
3: I hear amazing amazing amazing things from friends (and in books and on podcasts) about progesterone. Cynthia Thurlow (who you know I ADORE) has said many many many times on her podcast that it’s her very favorite thing she takes…all of that to say, for me, I was never able to tolerate it. It has always made me anxious (even small doses). I tried it before and after my hysterectomy (a lot of doctors will say you don’t necessarily need it if you don’t have uterus) with terrible results. I say all of this to say, have your doctor look at your progesterone levels and make sure you’re not deficient and then maybe use it for hormone reasons only and not necessarily for sleep
Erika Slaughter says
The Oura ring helped me realize that even if I go to bed at a certain time it doesn’t help my sleep if I read or scroll on my phone. Why didn’t I realize that on my own? Good question! But it’s not so much the time I get in bed that counts but when I put everything down and close my eyes! That’s helped me a TON!
Kristin stout says
How do you handle now with teenagers/young adults getting them to bed before you go to bed? Do you trust they go to bed when you tell them to and you go on to bed? Because I know its unrealistic to think they will be in bed at 9:30 every night so I can go to bed? Thoughts?
Mix and Match Mama says
I don’t go to sleep until everyone is home, but once they’re home, I trust they go to bed at a good time. My two teens have to wake up really early every day for school (one by 4:45 and the other by 5:30), so they don’t stay up late just because they’re tired. Ashby is a night owl, but she’s really good at going to bed at a good time too. Mades is always asleep early, so that one is easy too.
Jeanette says
You and I are twins when it comes to sleep and needing order and routine. I wake up at 3:00 a.m. for work and thank goodness my partner goes to bed with me at 7:30. Even on our days off, it’s hard to stay up late, b/c we are both early risers, and enjoy our coffee 😁. Reading is a must for me before bed. I can’t wait to read about your supplements and Oura. I received mine for Christmas and I’m on the fence about it 🤷♀️.
Tiffany says
The sleep chapter in Outlive was the most powerful, imo. Love all your ideas. I use a magnesium body butter on my calves at bedtime and swear by my NodPod eye pillow.
Kara says
Do you have a “charging center” for your kids electronics/phones that is not in the bedroom? Do you have a set time they have to stop using phones by at night? We are getting close to our first cell phone kiddo and I am looking for all the tips b/c it is a little scary to start that cell phone stage! Thanks!!
Mix and Match Mama says
All great questions. You can make it to where they limit the time on certain apps (like 1 hour a day for an example) and then also make it to where the apps on the phone stop working between certain hours of the day…and that has been very helpful/good for managing how long/when they’re on them. We have a charging station in our bedroom closet too.
Erin says
We charge phones downstairs. Under no circumstance are teen phones allowed upstairs. House rule.
Elizabeth L says
Is there a reason you prefer the Apple Watch over the oura for daytime? I just got the oura and love it. It is so much less bulky than the Apple Watch and tracks so much more I don’t know if I’ll ever wear my watch again! Haha
Mix and Match Mama says
I really tried wearing my ring all day long, but it’s just not as natural for me to wear as a watch. I never even think about having a watch on, but I found the ring distracting and a bit annoying for daytime. Other than my wedding rings, I don’t really ever wear other rings, so I wasn’t used to it all. I also didn’t like having to take it off to lift weights and such. IDK? Maybe I’ll try again? For now, I just sleep in it.
Jenn Workman says
Alexis, I am wondering if Kelly & I have the same one from Amazon…it has been a game-changer! This is the one I use: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RS21VZ5/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
Susan says
I’m curious about the glass of water before bed! I think I’ve heard this once before. Can you share where you learned to do that, and is it important to sip it? Thanks!
Mix and Match Mama says
I wish I could tell you the exact podcast episode, but I cannot remember. I listen to so many and heard this one before I was documenting/sharing a lot about wellness here, so I was just a sponge soaking it up without taking notes. It certainly won’t work for everyone, but it was a real game changer for me.
Randi Jo Rooks says
Rowe casa (Texas company!) magnesium cream on the feet before bed is the ultimate ticket. I have told so many ladies about this and they’ve all had success. So many stories of hormonal ladies not sleeping through the night that now are. I have one friend that hasn’t slept through the night in 10+ years and now is thanks to this product. Thank you Jesus ! There’s something about the skin absorption instead of taking it orally that works so much better ! And Rowe casa is the best !!! You should look into their products shay. They are great Christian ladies. God bless you girl!!
Mix and Match Mama says
Yay! Thank YOU for the rec!!