Happy Wednesday, friends!
Well, I had this note down on my calendar about “THINGS I’M LETTING GO OF AS A 43 YEAR OLD WOMAN” and well, there’s no time like the present, right?
I made a little list of things I’ve personally let go of/am working on letting go of to share today.
I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more I realize some things I just need to let go.
Now, some of these are silly and funny and some of these are more serious and ALL of these are about me (I’m not telling you to let go of anything in particular here).
I am a work in progress so please be patient with me as I haven’t perfected them all 😉 .
Okay, in no particular order, here we go…THESE ARE A FEW THINGS I’M LETTING GO…
1: EATING THE RAINBOW
Listen, I’m not a picky eater. In fact, with very very few exceptions, I’ll eat basically anything. That being said, I’m okay with eating some of the same foods every single day and have let go of fretting over “variety”. I realize variety is good for the gut. I realize that I’m missing out by not eating a variety, but I just can’t prioritize it at this time in my life. I basically eat two big meals a day (because most days, I intermittent fast), and one of those is during my work day when I don’t have a ton of extra time and the other is around the dinner table with my family when I want to feed them exactly what they want to eat (Because, hello? What mama doesn’t want happy eaters at her table?!). This means, I grab staple, easy to prepare things and eat them frequently because they work well for my life, make me feel full, give me lots of protein and keep my peeps happy. I am trying to let go of “jazzing up” my lunch and dinners with a wide variety of things when at at the end of the day, I would just rather be efficient, satiated and sitting with people beaming over the fact that I made their favorite meal (again!).
2: WATCHING THE NEWS
Oh, I’ve let that go. I don’t want to watch the news, read the news, listen to the news. I am perfectly happy with my head in the sand. I love and adore so many friends and family that are constantly upset by what’s on the news. I mean, I get it…IT IS UPSETTING. I don’t want to spend my days upset. Unless absolutely necessary, I am not interested in the news.
3: THE SCALE
I have let that go. Right now, I care about how I feel, how my lab work looks, how my clothes fit, if I’m sleeping well, if I have energy…those markers mean so much more to me than how much I weigh.
4: SAYING YES
I want my “yes” to really be a YES which means I need to say no more often so that I have the time/energy/dedication/passion/attention for those YES moments. I’m letting go of saying “yes” to everything so that I can focus on saying it to the right things.
5: EARLY MORNING APPOINTMENTS
I do not like to rush around…and nothing makes me feel more rushed and less peaceful than an early morning appointment. I used to think that I should schedule appointments first thing because then they’d get marked off my “to do” list and I could move on with my day. What always ended up happening though was that my morning would get rushed because of said appointment and then, I’d spend the rest of the day feeling behind/like I needed to regroup. I try as hard as I can now to schedule appointments later in the day (at least after 11:00) so that my day can get off on the right start before interrupting it with an appointment.
6: BEING AT ALL “FAMILY EVENTS”
Here’s the thing, I adore my family, but I just can’t be at “all the things”. I am the oldest grandchild and thus have the oldest great grandchildren and our schedules just look so different than my family that still has kids that are little. I don’t just have to think about my schedule, but I have to think about five other people’s schedules and they’re busy people. I used to carry around a lot of guilt about this, but I’m letting that go.
7: WATCHING BAD TV
We have never in the history of the world had more to watch on TV than we do right now…and yet, I don’t enjoy a lot of what I watch. I’ve been letting go of bad TV and picking up a book instead. I used to make myself finish seasons or series or whatever, but now, if the show isn’t just “amazing”, I let it go.
8: BEING OFFENDED
One of Madeley’s VERY best qualities is that she is not easily offended. I don’t know about you, but in my life, I’ve studied/read myself or heard 1 Corinthians 13 in a sermon/wedding ceremony about 4 billion times. I’m typically always convicted by the “love is patient” or “love is kind” stuff but a few months ago, I heard it and the application was more towards how love shouldn’t be “easily offended” and that really struck me HARD for the first time. It made me think of my Mades. She is the least easily offended person I know. She just lets everything roll off her back and never takes it too personally. Meanwhile, Andrew mentions at dinner that he really likes my chicken chili while he’s eating my beef chili and I want to end his life. I have been working really hard on not being offended by those I love.
9: LONG “TO DO” LISTS
More than half of my “to do” list is self-imposed. I have been trying really, really, really hard to let go of long lists, chores that no one besides me cares/will notice if they get completed, and things I do just because “I’ve always done them”. When I started editing my long to do lists, it was crazy to see how many of the items on there were unnecessary.
10: BEING SWEATY
For YEARS I thought the only way to gauge a really “good” workout was to be really sweaty at the end. If I wasn’t exhausted, sore and sweaty, it didn’t really count. I have let go of that mindset. Looking back on this now, I see how not only was this inaccurate thinking, it was kind of detrimental. I was often exposing myself to injury, I was making myself so exhausted that I would need several rest days between, and I didn’t feel better/see results. I still take one class a week that is in a 90 degree setting with weights where I get super hot and sweaty. I still get sore on occasion after lifting weights. I just don’t “score” my workouts any more by being sweaty. Sure, it can happen, but it doesn’t define the effectiveness of workout.
So, those are 10 things I’m letting go of right now. I would LOVE to know what you’re letting go of right now too. Please comment and share!
In honor of letting go, I thought we could let go of complicated dinners and today, I’m sharing SLOPPY JOE BOWLS just in time for back to school dinnertime!
Have the best day, friends! xx
Kara says
1 & 6 resonate with me!! So much pressure to not have an all “beige” dinner lol! I love variety but I need to keep it simple! Alllll the family events.. we just can’t make it happen! Great list!
Elspeth Mizner says
Love these kinds of posts! Thank you for sharing. I’m a work in progress about being a perfectionist and pleasing everyone.
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Dawn Timmons says
Shay, I literally laughed out loud at your reaction to Andrew’s chicken chili comment! Hilarious! 😂 Please know you are not alone and your transparency is refreshing. What a great post to help us all think about what to do”let go of” to enjoy life more! ❤️
Diane Moore says
I love this post!
I’m letting go of “should.” I should garden, I should learn to knit, I should be able to ______.
Should is not the same as a goal. It’s just negative and linked to contrasting ourselves to others.
Mix and Match Mama says
YES!!!! I love this!
Natalie says
YES! I am a Should Queen – love that you pointed out it’s negative talk. I hadn’t thought of that!
Shay – love this post! and the comment about Andrew made me laugh out loud!
Miranda says
This reminds me of something my grandmother always said- In most cases, if we replace “should” with “could” it will change our perspective and help us decide what is really important.
Amy says
Someone once told me we can’t should on ourselves! That stuck with me! I have been trying to change my narrative to I get to do xyz today.
Kim says
That is so funny! I love that! I’m no longer gonna should on myself either! 😂😂
Susan says
Well #8 really made me pause and think about that one will be kept close to my heart and pulled out to work on over here. Also #9, so many of the things I do are self imposed and then I get stressed when there’s just not enough time to complete all the things. simplifying my life has been a slow process but baby steps have been taken.
Laura says
Man this is a great list! Great job, Shay! I’ve been thinking of a couple things in my life over the last week that are just really not beneficial to me but really have taken up a lot of my brain space (trash tv and certain mindsets about clean eating). Now I kind of want to sit and parse those out and maybe let those go, too!
Amy Azza says
I love your list! Right now, I’m working on letting go of friendships that no longer serve me. The older I get, the more I realize I want to protect my peace, and fill my life and circle with people that lift me up and love on me and support me. I have a hard time letting go of things, including friendships, and I have come to realize that just because someone was a friend from high school or from another part of my life doesn’t mean they have to be my friend now.
Mix and Match Mama says
Friendships have seasons. It took me a long time to understand and appreciate that. Seasons are not bad, they’re just not forever. I love this, Amy!
Natalie says
I’m the same way, and have been doing the same thing. During the pandemic, with much less socializing, I realized I had friendships in my life that weren’t fruitful, supportive, or life-giving anymore. Though it’s not easy, I decided to step back from those kinds of friends and allow more time for ones that bring me joy.
Kelly says
GREAT POST. I’m letting go of books I don’t love by about page 60. I’m letting go of raunchy movies that might be a good plot but that add raunch and smut for no reason. BYE! I’m letting go of guilt and FOMO and I always stay far away from drama and try to be a peacemaker. I’m letting go of feeling like I can change people and just letting them live their life. FREEDOM!
Mix and Match Mama says
This one is great, Kelly!! I love this too!
Dana P says
Love this! I agree with that dumb scale. I was way underweight for years with bone density issues. Now I weigh a more typical weight for someone my height, wear all the same clothes and size, and have almost completely normal bone mass, but that stupid number on the scale still gets to me. Let’s see if I can decide to let it go. hahaha And also working on not being easily offended…yes!!
I think the biggest thing I’m wanting to let go of is what I look like in pictures. I tell my kids all the time-pictures are a lie! I have personally watched the person I love sit in front of me and have their picture taken, then look at the picture and KNOW that it’s just a bad picture and not what they even looked like in that moment. I think this is the freedom that comes with getting older. 🙂
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh I love this, Dana!! I love it so much!
Jenny Fisher says
I’m trying really hard with the picture thing too. My daughter recently got married (like just this last Saturday). I’m trying not to dread the pictures with me in them and be too critical. I’m trying to tell myself that the pictures are not for me but for her and I’m her mom and she sees me through loving eyes and not my own critical eyes. I want to remember the love and joy I felt that day
Amy says
The picture thing is a huge one for me as well!! My son is getting married in a couple months and I have had the hardest time finding a dress to wear. I just keep thinking that is going to look awful on me in pictures! Thank you Jenny for your response…the photos are not about me or for me.
Kay says
Just this morning, I was zooming in on an unflattering photo of myself. Then. I realized right NEXT to my face was my son’s face, BEAMING, because it was his high school graduation. I mean, tears. And that really stayed with me. We take photos (usually) to document something meaningful. So if we remember it as “one of my son’s biggest moments” and not “I chose my dress unwisely) it feels amazing. And will help you let go of self criticism!
Amy Azza says
Jenny, I relate to this so much! First, I am sure you look beautiful in all the pictures and most importantly your daughter will look back someday and just be so happy to have you in the pictures and to see your love shining through. My mother passed away 9 years ago, and I have so few pictures of her because she hated pictures, hated how she looked.. i would give anything to have more pictures of her know that’s she gone. I do have a special one of her and I at my wedding that I cherish. I know your daughter will too. sending you love xoxo
Jenny Fisher says
Has anyone ever noticed that when you look at a picture of
Yourself the first time you pick out everything you don’t like almost like you were anticipating not liking it in the first place and then when you go back and look at it a second, third, fourth time you focus more on how you were feeling in the picture or the memory?
Dana P says
Yes!!! And I’ve gone back and looked at pictures I didn’t like from years ago and thought I looked totally fine! And what Amy said is also so true…
Pamela G says
The quote about valueable math is SO good!!! I laughed out loud at Andrew commenting on your chicken chili while eating your beef chili 🤣🤣 This blog post was FANTASTIC…thank you
Sandra Roberts says
I gave up the news years ago when my daughter was young. I just didn’t want her to hear all the mess that this world had going on. I still get our weekly small town newspaper but that’s enough for me.
I prayed the other night that I could let go of regret and to live more in the moment. I’ve lost both my parents in the last several years and still think about the last time my mom asked me to coffee. My youngest and I were on the way to baseball, and I know my mama understood but I still regret not getting coffee.
Robin says
That is a great list.
Bren says
Ah, great post. Guilt. Guilt has always plagued me. I am a constant work in progress, but this is the first thing that came to mind. No need for the details, but I always felt I was “never enough”. I could do more, be more, help more…followed by feeling guilty for what I didn’t do instead of celebrating who I am and what I did do. I’ve made so much progress, but loved this post for another affirmation of letting it go. As always, thank you, Shay.
Leanne says
judgment…. this is very hard for an ESFJ!! I’ve just had too many hard things in life that were out of my control…some hard things in life that were in my control….and my work as hospital nurse made me realize… MY JOURNEY is NOT YOUR JOURNEY…. I don’t really know all the things people are walking through…or their past traumas…or their current hurts…and once you let go of judgment, you can let go of comparison…
I’m not perfect at this….but, I’m working on it…. its the best thing I ever did for my mental health!
Laci says
Love this!
Cara says
I get that watching the news is upsetting but what’s going on in the world is upsetting. What a privilege to keep your head in the sand when people are actually living it. I find it’s best to find a balance between staying informed so I can know what I can to do help and not being so locked in
Mix and Match Mama says
I don’t think it’s a privilege at all to monitor what you consume. The world does not lack information right now. It’s literally at our fingertips 24/7. I think selecting and monitoring what we consume can be a choice for our own mental health. I don’t think me “helping others” has anything to do with me choosing to limit my exposure to the news.
Allyson says
Very well said. I took your “head in the sand” comment more lighthearted and making a personal choice to carefully consider what you take in that might affect your ability to be a healthy wife and mother. I stopped watching the news about 10+ years ago…best thing I did for my mental health and mood! I’ll grab a few important updates from my “fair and balanced” FB page on occasion, but I need to be spiritually grounded, not worldly grounded. Jesus and baseball, haha!
Ashley S. says
I completely agree, Shay. We are exposed to more daily information than ever before in history. I believe we weren’t meant to process so much all at once. Historically, if something was happening across the world, people wouldn’t know about it for months. Even in one’s own country, the news would take days to arrive. Filtering what we choose to consume today is almost a necessity. I help those in my community and stay abreast of areas where I can be involved. But I’ve too let go of my daily news consumption.
Leslie S says
I too have intentionally chosen to limit news. We are inundated 24/7 with information, much of it recycled and hyped with the intention to make people upset, sow seeds of discontent and comparison. Protecting my peace and mental health makes me a better and more compassionate person, a better wife and mother. Intentionally spending more time focused on Jesus and less on the world.
Lauren Kay says
Too blessed to be stressed!
Chistina says
I could not agree more. Staying informed is the responsibility of any voting adult.
Laurie says
You just need to find the “right” place to get your news. It might not be the national news channel or even local news channel. It might be a newspaper. If you vote you need to pay attention to the news. It’s a great privledge we receive here in the USA that we get a vote. Find your place to get your news. It’s important to know what’s going on….
Lisa D says
My time, peace of mind and mental health is more important than listening to all the junk going on 24/7.
I’ve given up “overconsumption”. The amount of stuff in our lives is overwhelming. My math is focused on subtraction not addition.
Katrina Goodman says
Something that I haven’t necessarily let go of but the other day when I was filling up my cute spice jar with my store spice jar.. I said out loud to my self: who sold me this lie?! Hahaha why I am wasting my time doing this?! I think I may be done with cute containers for things that already have a container!! 😆😆
Mix and Match Mama says
YES! I love this!
Allyson says
OMG you just blew my mind! Thank you for this!!!
Amy says
Hahaha! I am a professional home organizer and I say this everytime I am transferring spices to a pretty jar. Your are creating more clutter by putting in a new jar because sometimes not all the spice will fit in pretty jar so now you have two that you have to store and find room for. Just my opinion on the matter!
Susy says
This might be your best post ever. Vulnerable and so helpful to others. So many hit home.
SS says
Shay,
What a great post!! You know it is hard to “let go” of somethings. I am learning to let go though. Growing up when everything was hand me downs, we kept things we might use someday was just instilled on us. I am learning to let go of “stuff.”
We haven’t had any news channels for a few yrs just the local and we really don’t watch that too often.
Like you have said I am trying to let things roll off my back more, too. Although, sometimes it is harder from certain people. Since my Dad passed a few yrs ago…the old saying life is too short is really sinking in. I have always tried to live by “Live each day as if it was your last and as if you are going to live forever.”
Erika says
#6 really hit home for me and I feel like the season of life I’m in with older kids we just can’t do it all and it is ok!
Casey says
Letting go of a certain school for my kids, when it no longer serves us well. It’s tough but so needed!
Judi Andersen says
This really hit home with me. Years ago, a friend gave me the book The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst. I refer back to it often when making decisions big or small. Thanks for sharing your list.
KD says
For those trying to consume less news, I have been loving the 1440 Daily Digest email newsletter- it’s a non-biased short news update. It helps me to know what’s going on in a succinct way- without the stress, unnecessary sad stories, etc.
Stacey says
Thank you Shay! and thank you for the freedom of ‘this is my list’…not a prescription for anyone-but certainly an encouraging thought process! I think these ‘let go’ topics ALSO have seasons! Sometimes I need to focus and tighten up an area (more vegetables, less eating out, harder exercise), then It can relax because lesson learned, habit formed, etc. As women, we are SO cyclical and it’s healthy (and wise) to embrace the season, seek wise counsel-and pray!
Kristi Morgan says
I love this post so much!!
Jess W says
I absolutely love that last quote! Even though I’m not great at it, I try to think about it when doing a task that I think needs done but likely no one else cares or would even notice. Our time is limited and oh, so precious!
Faith says
YES! I agree – I do not watch the news (they show what they want you to see anyway!) and I haven’t gotten on the scale unless I am at the doctor’s!
Buuuut……I need to work on not being offended.
Kelly Bonner says
One of the BEST books I ever read was The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst. It truly changed what I say yes to.
Mix and Match Mama says
YES!!! I loved that one too!!
Nicole says
You have no idea how perfectly timed this is! Love, love! Thank you!
Tish says
Oh, I love this so much! I highly recommend the book Unoffendable by Brant Hansen. It is learning to live a life flourishing the way God intended without being offended by everyone and everything. SO SO GOOD! Yes to taking things off my to do list because why am I setting crazy high standards for myself that cause unnecessary stress. Yes to the no news! SAME HERE.
Mix and Match Mama says
I am looking that book up right now! Thank YOU so much for the rec!!
Christy says
I have listened to this twice…it is just so good! (I also love the Bait of Satan by John Bevere.) But, I truly feel like when a wife / mama isn’t carrying a spirit of offense all the time her husband and children are impacted and not so easily offended by their own friends /co-workers too. Offense is contagious!
Such a great letting go topic, Shay!
Yvonne says
YES!!! I love that book! I also have it on audio and have listened to it multiple times! He is the best, I got to meet him and he was the kindest person! One of my favorite books of all time!!!
Valerie Potts says
Love this post! It’s something I’ve been working on too. Somethings are easy and others not so much. Not watching the news is a big one for me. I won’t do it! I get too emotional and have a hard time recovering. Not being offended by those I love(I so related to Andrews chili comment and wanting to end his life. LOL) is another one. Not rushing whether it’s in the grocery store, on the road or in the mornings unless it’s absolutely necessary, which sometimes it is but a lot of the time it’s not. What I look like in photos. It really shouldn’t matter, but it does. With that said, I am exercising my right to veto power in photos that get sent to others much less than 5-10 years ago. I could also relate to the Bad TV. There is so much of it and I don’t want to waste my time going back to see if I really don’t like it. I want to laugh, feel good and just enjoy whatever it is I am watching. Thank you for this post Shay! I love these lists and thinking about them for my own life. 🙂 Have a wonderful Wednesday!
Laura Holmes says
Amen to saying goodbye to the news! As someone with a lot of empathy, it is just not healthy for me to take in everything we are exposed to these days. I select what I choose to read. And, I READ my news. I do not let an on air personality dictate how I should feel about an event, politics etc. It’s been very helpful. I love the idea of your letting go list. I’m definitely going to write one for myself!
Pam Brightman says
I gave up watching the news in the summer of 2020. Was not good for my health. I agree that it isn’t privilege to monitor what your consume. It is self care. I do love the one above about giving up on books that don’t grab me. Life is short. I’m moving on to the next book.
Liz C says
Thanks for the chicken chili laugh! So true when husbands say something like that! Love your blog!!! Thank you for always being a light in blog world! Blessings!
Heather G says
I especially love #6, 8, 9. I have carried so much guilt for the season of life when we can’t make most things (hello busy teen schedules) and hear all the comments from friends and family – “you’re always so busy” “you never get a break” “I would never do what you do” etc. In my heart I know this season is only but a season and I’ll miss it when it’s gone. Thanks for sharing!
Angie says
“Meanwhile, Andrew mentions at dinner that he really likes my chicken chili while he’s eating my beef chili and I want to end his life.” 😂 Hilarious! Love this list so much, I relate to every single one if these. The older I get, I am letting go of trying to implement all the health advice from the internet instead and doing the things that I know make me feel good, sleep better, etc. It feels like freedom!!!
Kari Miller says
Well this post was a great one. I love when verses hit you in a completely different way. I truly think that is why the Bible is the LIVING word of God. It amazes me.
Your entire list got me thinking… I am going to do some thinking and make a similar list myself. Thank you for the inspo!
https://karimillerblog.com
Kelli says
Along with the not being offended one: I recommend a book called Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better by Brant Hansen. Great, based in spiritual truth, wisdom and humor. 🙂
Vickiy says
I LOVE and appreciate this insightful, humorous, and inspiring post today, Shay. I can totally relate to several of your things to let go of. THANKS for the affirmation and permission for this 71 year old work STILL in progress! 💗💗🙏🤞
Amy says
Number 8 hits me hard! I have read the book Unoffendable by Brant Hansen twice and I am still learning and working on being unoffended. I love your whole list and I am going to sit down and make my own! If I write it out and hang it somewhere I see it each day then I am reminded of it. I am super forgetful!! Have a great rest of your week!
Eliza says
I hear you on the news. I figure if it’s important someone usually mentions it to me in conversation and I can go research it if I want to know more.
Traci M says
Whew! 6 and 8. I also struggle with feeling guilty when we don’t make the family
Things due to comments. But like you said and have said in the past- we have to do what serves our family best! And I love the yes one too. I did The bible study The Best Yes years ago and I still go back to it – is this my best yes? And if it’s not- it’s ok to say no!!
Thanks for all you do and being real with us!!
Lauren B. says
Love this so much! So many things I needed to hear. I love the idea that your yes should be a YES. Why does no feel so hard sometimes?! The older I get the more I see how important it is to get better at saying it.
Summer says
Such a great post! I’m letting go of worrying about the things I can’t control and instead trusting God, who’s ways are better than mine.♥️
Kristin Lyngaas says
I’m 57 and this was a fabulous post 🩷🙏
Erin H says
I just turned 50 so this post feels very relevant to me. I’m letting go of bad body image. I’m rocking a 2-piece because my 6 year old thinks I look amazing so I should too! I’m also becoming a get-my-hair-wet mom… I don’t love going under water, but she thinks it’s so exciting when I do.
Shirley says
This was so good, Shay! I am letting go of being a people-pleaser. I still enjoy being as agreeable as possible, but not as a detriment to myself anymore. I am also letting go of co-chairing a committee I helped establish at church to focus instead on some mission projects dear to my heart, which are my passion right now. It just makes my heart happy! Thanks for this post today!
Dawn Kutchey says
Gosh this SPOKE to me. I am working so hard on letting things go that only bring stress and exhaustion to my life. Thank you for this list! Working on my mine!
Kay says
Shay! I love this and needed this today! I am about to turn fifty this October. (And honestly, thanks to your blog I have adapted soooo many healthy habits that have been a pleasure to incorporate into my daily life. I feel ready for this new decade and a lot of it is thanks to you and the inspiration you provide here!)
I agree with your whole list and especially the family obligations. I also have three teens and it is near impossible to schedule them for ANYthing. And let me tell you. How many times have I pre cleared a date with them, made plans with a grandparent and then one of them informs me oh yeah, I have to work that night, I forgot to update the calendar. I mean. So yes. When you have a house full of teens, getting everyone together is WORK. And personally, if I do the work of clearing our schedules, I selfishly want my little family ALONE somewhere together!
I’ve let go of structured summers for my kids. I know, it’s the time to plan camps, and travel, and allll the things. But this summer I let it go and we are having a decidedly 80s summer. My kids have been a little bored, but guess what? I taught them being bored is a luxury that many don’t have. And bc they are bored, they have taken charge of making plans with friends, volunteering!, and even watching a movie now and again with me!!!! (We loved The Way Way Back with S. Carrell and watching Ferris Bueller again).
I just love your list. Thank you for sharing today!
Christina says
Shay I love these posts! #1, #3, #8, #9, #10- these are my current ones too. I feel these help me focus on the stuff that is most important to me. #10 resonates so much- I have so more energy and am not relying on so much caffeine when I focus just on movement. Have a wonderful day
AliJ says
I gave up the news too! I will watch the local news but that is it. I choose what news I want to read. I just do not need added stress or anxiety in my life. I am also trying to learn that people don’t always have the same high expectations that I do, especially when it comes to supporting family members. It sucks, especially for my daughter, but she’s learning who is in her corner, and they aren’t always blood. I am back to reading for pleasure! I am going into my daughter’s senior year with excitement and not sadness. I am excited to see everything that happens her senior year and where she lands for college. I love seeing her blossom and evolve into a wonderful human being. I am also trying to be more in the moment as well as sit with things and be uncomfortable. Sometimes being uncomfortable makes you grow as a person.
Beth Valenta says
Loved this post. Why are we so fogiving to others and not ourselves?
My biggest letting go, is of negative people. I can be on cloud 9, and one comment downing what I am trying to do or what is my JOY, just turns me into someone proving why I am doing this thing…I need to stop and embrace JOY and what it brings to those who see it naturally.
Mix and Match Mama says
Preach, Beth!
K.K. says
I love the getting rid of the news! We did too, and then we got rid of all of cable and subscriptions because there just wasn’t enough we enjoyed. We know we miss out on some things (we do have Amazon prime), but it has given us so much time back!!
Jenny N says
I love your list! I agree about the news…..I gave it up about 2 years ago and am much happier!
Andrea says
This post is GOLD! Loved the part about Andrew and the chili. Hilarious and also relatable 🤣. This post has inspired me! Loved it and reading all the comments. I will definitely be making my own list but currently I have been giving up “stuff” and embracing a more minimalistic lifestyle.
sandi says
Well timed post and the comments are really gold! The husband chili comment is very relatable and based on the number of recommendations above I need to be reading Unoffendable by Brant Hanson :-). I love a colorful plate of food and like variety throughout the week, but I could eat a slice of quiche every day and usually make two on Sundays for a quick breakfast during the week. I’m not a big news watcher and my husband or kids will inform me of really big things. It’s not a head in the sand thing, but a peace of mind thing.
Carly says
I think this is my favorite post of yours to date! I’m learning to let go of the idea that I have to “earn” my time off- which is so hard to do with the standard of the daily grind! We went on vacation last year and met a couple from Scotland who made a comment about not having any of their “work” apps on their phones… no access to email, files, etc., when they’re on vacation. My mindset has always been, “yes I’ll be out of office but I will check in via email, etc.”, when in reality- at the end of my life, no one is going to remember me by how many messages I replied to or emails I sent, but if I was truly present with the people I love!
Kacey says
The news is a HECK NO over here too!! I had to stop consuming the news during Covid. It became really depressing and I realized I was becoming anxious. There are still plenty of ways to be up to date on current events and world news without watching the actual news and that’s the lane I’m staying in!
MarthavMarino says
Thank you for all your posts. I would like to know what LOLA pendant and size Mades wore on Nantucket. I would love to order one for my granddaughter. I so much enjoyed your Nantucket posts.
Cindi says
Great post, Shay! I think we all can relate to it at any age! I recommend checking out Melani Sanders, @justbeingmelani on Instagram, too. She’s the founder of the “We Do Not Care Club” and her club’s philosophy lines up perfectly with this post! When she started experiencing the symptoms of perimenopause, she started her club to share her thoughts in a very hilarious way. And so many women resonated with her, that she now has 1.5 million followers from around the world, including menopausal specialists and celebrities! Check her out, ladies, for an added source of joy in your day!
Mix and Match Mama says
I had someone recommend her to me over the summer. She’s amazing!!!
Stephanie Harris says
I am trying to give up excess email and text. I love certain things but they blast too much. I just counted almost 80 deletes since 6 am and it’s 12n.
I never respond to group text unless they need an answer. Why oh Lord do we have to love, like, or comment . It can go on all day!!!
Mix and Match Mama says
YES!!!! This is a great one!!
JS says
Speaking from experience (I am 65 years old). My actions and thoughts really resonate with you!
When I was a young Mom – of course I wanted to be the best by leading by example by showing/giving/telling them the correct thing on what or how to do things and teaching them to be good kids while being independent. This takes alot of scheduling and structured time.
After following your lead and with the kids getting older and developing independency (with some friendly reminders), the older kids then are setting examples for the younger kids to learn from.
This allows you a “different” time in your life. I really believe we all go through this cycle of life.
You have done amazing with your children as you can tell they are independent and RESPECTFUL children. Well done job Shay and Andrew – enjoy every season of life!
GW says
To everything there is a season…For me, the season for letting go came with experience/maturity. I related to and loved this post. This will be my last year as a teacher; that will be my biggest release yet. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Alexa says
The not being offended one hit home for me. I would be much more enjoyable to be around if I did not take everything so offensively. Thank you so much for sharing!
MK says
I understand not watching the news for your mental health (I had to finally stop during Covid as it gave me too much anxiety) but how do you balance being an involved member of your community or how things may affect your family, your friends, neighbors, etc. Do you look up info on Facebook or social media? Get any newsletters? etc. I know the “head in the sand” is a lighthearted comment, so I am just curious how you balance mental health with being “in the know” in aspects in your community/life.
Mix and Match Mama says
I feel like the news is everywhere, so even if I want to be selective about it, I can never avoid it. It’s in my IG and FB feeds, I get it every morning while I’m listening to my favorite sports radio station (they share current news at each half hour break), my husband certainly shares it with me…I think I’d have to go to Mars to avoid it completely.
Heather says
Love this post! I’m working on not being offended as well. A while back my son said something along the lines of, “that was probably the best dinner you have made in a long time”. I automatically got offended as I cook a lot and I took it as him not liking what I usually make. I had to shift my thinking and realize he wasn’t trying to say I never cook well. Lol! It woke me up to how I can be offended by things that should never even offend me in the first place. 🙂
Debra Lowe says
Thank you for this list – it has some of the same things I have tried to change but also has some things I haven’t done. A couple of things I have let go is being less easily offended and booking appointments later in the day, both of which have made me happier and less stressed. I admit I do have to remind myself at times, usually when I am stressed and/or not getting enough sleep.
Things I want to add to my list include:
– not feeling like I have to follow through on a series I am not loving – I have always been a ‘maybe it will get better’ person and it usually doesn’t if I do t like it within a few episodes.
– trimming my yes list to things that are most important to me instead of saying yes to everything.
Yolanda McLean says
This post got me thinking! I don’t voluntarily watch or read the news, but my husband is news obsessive. If he gets the remote, he puts on the news. Depending on the time of day, it’s local news. Other times, it’s NewsMax. He’ll try to tell me something and I ask if I need to know it or if it’s going to keep me awake. I’m on social media so if there’s something major I see something about it. My mother-in-law, who stays pretty much to herself, kind of boasts that she doesn’t watch the news, but she’s also not on social media and she LITERALLY has no idea what’s happening in the world. Like didn’t know about the devastating flooding until many days after because she had a telephone conversation with someone. Maybe that’s healthy, but it’s also frightening to be so uninformed. I feel that I can safely not watch the news because if we need to head to a bunker, my husband is going to lead that way and I’m on social media so I’m informed enough to know current events, etc. I can dig in where I choose.
Christa Liso says
I gave up the news after you mentioned it awhile back and I do not regret it at all! I also started listening to my favorite teams’ sports radio shows and have LOVED it! I get a little of the news without having it shoved down my throat. We are BIG baseball fans (go Giants!) and it has kept me more informed about my team (as messy as they currently are) and it is lighthearted and fun. So much better!
Amy C says
I am doing a Bible Plan right on the the YouVersion Bible app that is called “The Search for an Unoffendable Heart” so this was very timely! Highly recommend. Also working on just letting it go! What a great list.
Moni says
“Meanwhile, Andrew mentions at dinner that he really likes my chicken chili while he’s eating my beef chili and I want to end his life.” Love all of your blog posts but this line is my new all time favorite – laugh out loud funny and SO relatable!!!!!
Nicole says
I would love to know your current go to meals!! What is your go to meal one and what meals are on repeat for your family? Thanks!!
Mix and Match Mama says
Now that we’re back in Texas, I feel like it’s a lot of ground beef. This week, we had meatballs, tacos, sloppy joes AND lasagna. My people are wanting the BEEF!
Betty says
They do say ignorance is bliss – and it’s clear how you manage to stay happy.
Sarah Yaffe says
Is it weird that this might be one of my favorite posts you’ve done in like 13 years? 😂 hahahaha. I don’t know why but seeing how you’ve decided it’s okay to let some things go makes me feel so much better. You have always been a HUGE inspiration to me and I feel like I’m a better, more motivated version of myself due to your influence. I can relate to so many of these things you’ve let go. I gave up on watching the news/ reading the news years ago. It still bothers my family members but when you have a mom and a husband who are always in the know and following the news, you know you’ll always hear about anything that’s really important that’s going on in the world. I also agree with the early morning appointments. My sweet spot for appointments is 1:00 because it’s usually the first appointment after lunch and I can still get to school to pick my kids up by 3:00. Thanks for entertaining us with this list, Shay!
Mix and Match Mama says
Well thank YOU for those kind words. I am very grateful. xx
Sarah says
I’m so curious what things you are shaving off your long to-do lists now since you’re such a go-getter, type A personality? How can you decide what goes? I’m a stay at home mom so 90% of my to-do list is self-imposed but they all seem important to me in one way or another even though my husband and kids would never notice if I didn’t do them. I’ll give you some examples:
-beauty appointments (the extra ones) my husband wouldn’t notice if I didn’t do Botox or lasers or a random facial, but I would so I do them
-signing up for dog training classes while my kids are at school. Not because my dogs need it but because I love my dogs and I enjoy working with them.
-random house appointments that no one else would notice besides me— window washing, lanai power washing, touch-up painting
-walking through stores during the fall and winter and seeing what new seasonal items need to come home with me (totally unnecessary but it brings me joy)
-volunteering— I love volunteering with my therapy dog but it definitely takes up time and adds an extra to-do to my list
Mix and Match Mama says
I could probably make an entire post on this topic, but off the top of my head, sometimes I’ll look at my “to do” list and it will say things like “wash outdoor cushions” or “put out Easter pillows” or whatever…little details around my house that on a busy day, I just don’t need to do and no one would notice. Or a big one for Type-A me is “clean out____”. I love a good purge and shelf/closet/drawer clean out because I can’t stand a mess, but really? Who cares? I can circle back to that later. I used to volunteer alllllll the time at my kids’ elementary school but doing that on top of everything else I was doing was too much. Plus, as one mom reminded me when we were discussing guilt from this, at our school, there is an abundance of volunteers, so if I’m doing it and it’s putting me behind, I am robbing another mom the joy of doing it. I still volunteer but nearly as much. It’s clearly a variety of things, but I’ve just realized that I should edit my list before diving into it.
PC says
Thanks for sharing such an honest post. Getting to the age that you realize how important it is to protect your peace is so wise. Sometimes we have to shelter ourselves from things in the outside world to maintain our own peace.
I’d also like to point out that reading the news is not necessarily synonymous with getting upset:
Sensitive people – not easily offended people, but sensitive people – those who have the capacity to pay attention, notice, and feel things, but who also have the emotional regulation to not get upset or offended by the realities of the world – now that’s a powerful position to be in.
Thanks again for your wisdom
Julie says
Love this Shay! Thank you for being so open and honest- This is just what I needed to see as I was checking off my to-do list (filled with a good chunk of little cleaning things no one cares about but me), being offended by a family group text (re-read the text and I don’t really have a reason to be offended, just a crabby mood) and gave me the courage to say no to a mediocre commitment, so I can say yes to some 1:1 time with one of my middle boys! THANK YOU! I am using it to write a list of things I want to give up on- the list girl in me cannot be completely squashed haha, but I now have a great intention as I head into the last weeks of summer with my boysquad -yay for school not starting until after labor day in the midwest!
Marisa Patel says
Wow, everyone’s response to your post and your list all resonate with me! This year is all about figuring out who I am, what I need to be my best self and how I am going to make it happen. This post was perfectly timed because I have been struggling lately with doing those things and now I am reinvigorated!
Courtney says
Have you heard of The Pour Over? It is a Christian news source (with over 1.4 million subscribers) – they send out 3 short emails a week with a short blurb about few of the biggest stories (so you aren’t unaware), and they are paired with a Christian perspective (so you aren’t overwhelmed). I may be a little biased since I am their admin 🙂 but it’s pretty awesome and it made a huge difference for me in being able to consume enough news to be informed without being overwhelmed/angry/sad/etc!
Mix and Match Mama says
I have not heard of The Pour Over. Thank you so much for the rec!