Happy Wednesday, friends!
It’s LET’S LOOK!
Once a month, Erika and I do a little link up where we “look” at different aspects of our lives (and then if you blog, you share and link up too!).
Here’s what we’ve been “looking” at so far this year…
In January, we looked at our bedside tables.
In February, we looked at our winter wardrobe.
In March, we looked at what’s inside our bags.
In April, we looked at how we typically celebrate Easter.
In May, we looked at our weekend.
And today, we’re looking at how we can make sure we’re encouraging racial diversity at home.
I have really been trying to absorb, retain and implement so much information over the last week to ensure my family is encouraging racial equality in and outside of our home. So many of you have shared resources with me through emails and DMs, but today, I’m hoping we can collect even more info in the comment section to make it easier for people to review it all.
Today, I thought I could share all of the books that were suggested to me last week in one easy to find place and then I’m hoping you guys share podcasters, other authors, TV shows we can watch as a family, movies, etc so that we make sure we’re not limiting ourselves, but branching out more. I’m also going to share the books my kids have been reading this week too (because you know how much I love to talk about BOOKS!).
Last week, I asked you for your suggestions for racially diverse books for kids around 10 to 12 years old, and these were the top recs. Now, I want to stress that so many of you love these books, but also strongly advised me to read them beforehand in case it’s too mature for your kiddo, so please take that into consideration.
Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes
The Last Last-Day-of-Summer by Lamar Giles
The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas
Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson
Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly
American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang
Blended by Sharon M. Draper
All American Boys by Jason Reynolds & Brendan Kiely
Stella by Starlight by
Just Mercy (adapted for young adults) by Bryan Stevenson
The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street by Karina Yan Glaser
I actually sat down with my kids, and we went through this list for them to pick out some new books to read this month too. Kensington picked out Blended and The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street as her first two choices, so hopefully after she reads them, I can add them to my June Book Review later this month. She was super excited about both. I bought this one for my little girls…
…A is for Awesome!: 23 Iconic Women Who Changed The World because we already have an extensive collection of the “Little Leaders” books over here that my girls adore, so I thought this would complement that quite nicely.
Now Smith…well, I’ve mentioned this before, but Smith realllllllllly wants to read adult John Grisham books.
Sigh.
He’s ten.
I’ve read almost all of John Grisham’s books myself and love them, but I know they’re filled with a lot of heavy topics that are not meant for little readers, BUT last week, he kept asking to read A Time To Kill (because it was Grisham’s first book) and go ahead and label me a bad mom, but I thought to myself if my kid really wants to read this book, which is very much about racism and racial divide, and we can talk through it together, then why should I stop him?
He’s devouring it.
Andrew, Smith and I have had so many amazing conversations as he reads the book (and I kind of read along with him on my own) that we never would have had if I would have told him no. I am for SURE not telling you that your kid should read A Time to Kill, but my kid has really grown a lot from reading it. When he’s done, he says he wants to read Ghost Boys next.
So, there’s a little bit about how books have impacted my family this last week, now, it’s your turn! If there are shows on Netflix, movies, podcasts, other books…WHATEVER we should be consuming over here at our house, please comment and let me (and everyone else!) know. I am just certain you guys have some great recommendations.
Next month…
…we’re looking at our summer wardrobes!
See you guys tomorrow! xo
Erika Slaughter says
I’ve heard Blended is a great book! It’s on our list too!
Emily says
I love that you are letting him read that and you are NOT a bad mom. I feel like I grew up too protected from hard or difficult topics (although it was well-meant); I have thought so many times that I wish my parents had allowed more of that and then talked through it with me. I love that good conversations are already coming from it!
Laura says
For adults:
– Be The Bridge by Latasha Morrison. As a bonus she just launched a podcast.
– Antiracism resources: https://www.goodgoodgood.co/anti-racism-resources
For Kids:
– A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory
– Hockey is For Me by Jamal Mayers
Generally I have been intentional about buying books with children with a variety of skin tones. This list might be too you for your kids, but here are a few of my favorites:
– The Last Stop on Market Street by Matt De La Pena
– Old Mikamba Had a Farm by Rachel Isadora
– When God Made You by Matthew Paul Turner
– The Colors of Us by Karen Katz
– Say Hello by Rachel Isadora
Jenn says
Laura, I agree with your recommendation for Be the Bridge. I joined a Be the Bridge group that was organized through my church. It is a 4 week course (we meet virtually each Wednesday night) and I have learned SO MUCH! I hate that tonight is our last meeting. It is extremely educational and makes me hungry to keep learning and growing. Highly recommend!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Great post! Thanks for the book recommendations as well! ❤️✨
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
KimW says
Books for you : The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton, Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. All excellent!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank YOU!!
Karen says
My book club read Just Mercy two years ago and it is excellent. The movie is also currently on Netflix.
Laura says
Just Mercy is free on Amazon Prime!
Katherine Darlington says
Remember the Titans is an excellent movie period but is also about racial divide..
Mix and Match Mama says
We made a list of movies yesterday and that was the very first one Smith suggested! My girls haven’t watched it yet, so we’re all going to watch that one.
Kim C says
I feel the entire country needs to watch Remember the Titans
Jenn says
We just watched it with our big girls (9 and 11) last week as well. Just as good as I remembered it to be. Love me some Denzel Washington!
Katrina says
Thanks for sharing. I have read Ghost Boys & The Hate U Give. I think Smith and Kensington would find Ghost Boys easy to read (it’s based on the young boy Tamil Rice who was shot for playing with a toy gun in a park… so sad!!!) I am a 7th grade Language arts teacher, so I am going to read more of these this summer to recommend them to my students!
Katrina says
*Tamir (autorcorrect)
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you so much!!!!
Jayne says
Katrina, Project LIT is a great resource for middle grade teachers – you could possibly start a chapter in your school but, if nothing else, the list of books they recommend for students is really helpful. Shay, check out their social media for book suggestions for your big kids. One that I’ve heard great things about is Dear Martin. I haven’t read it yet (I’m on the waiting list at the library) so I can’t speak to how age appropriate it is for your family. For adults, I’d recommend reading So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. As for movies, Just Mercy and Selma are free right now on many platforms. Thanks for fostering this discussion, Shay!
Britney says
Family Reunion on Netflix is a great show to watch as a family! It reminds me of a show that would’ve been on TGIF as a kid!
Mix and Match Mama says
I loved TGIF!!!
Jaime Matherson says
this is kinda a side note but have either one of your big kids read “ the alchemist” I read it when I was in 6th grade and it’s always been one of my favorite books. I think smith would really like it!
Mix and Match Mama says
I read that too! They haven’t read it yet, but I bet they do!
Sharon Temple says
Walter Dean Myers wrote some great books. You can find a list by age level on walterdeanmyers.net. I was blessed to host him in my middle school library in Houston. Smith would probably like many of his books. I loved the boys in Fast Sam, Cool Clyde, and Stuff”.
Sara K says
I have recommended this before, “The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane” by Lisa See. It give a beautiful perspective of rural life in China and adoption. It is fiction, but much of the book is based in fact.
Laura says
We just watched Just Mercy this weekend (it’s free the whole month of June on streaming services). It was intense at times and one scene might be a little much for kiddos but SO SO good. It really illustrates a lot of unfortunate realities.
Ani says
We (husband and I, this is not a film for young kids) just finished American Son on Netflix (based on the Broadway play of the same name). It was raw, gripping, eye opening and completely heart breaking. Must watch.
I ordered The Hate U Give for my rising 9th grader, can’t wait to read it after he does.
Thanks for all the other recommendations!
Ugandan mama says
American son on Netflix is really good. Recommend that
Sheaffer Sims says
Smith is SO your kid and Carter is SO my kid. My gosh I wish Carter loved to read. But I wish I loved to read too.
JLea says
I say this with all due respect, because as a white woman, I am also trying to figure out how to best navigate this time and come out of my ignorance of many racial issues. I appreciate your efforts to share these books and would never attack your efforts to do better. However, here is a suggestion: You yourself are living in a racially diverse home, with two daughters of different races. You have shared many other aspects of their lives, such as adoption, health, genealogy testing, etc., but perhaps in these times in would be helpful to share your family’s personal experiences with race as you brought Ashby and Madeley home, how you have approached explaining this to all of them, and/or issues you may have encountered.
Mix and Match Mama says
I don’t mind your comment at all. I am not an expert on adoption, but every book I’ve read, blog post I’ve read, FB group I’m in always emphasizes how the number one goal when bringing kiddos into your home is making them feel like they’re a part of your family. That they’re a forever member and not different. We always talk about a variety of things (being Chinese, Chinese culture, being adopted, birth parents, disabilities and differences) as organically as possible. If I’m constantly bringing up their differences (and not doing the same with my bio kids), then that could make them feel like they’re not really mine (or a part of the family), so we talk about it when it comes up and sometimes that’s from an experience while other times, they ask questions or I prompt with something of my own…just natural conversation. We have always included dolls, Barbies, books and TV shows that celebrate Asian families…sometimes my girls are interested and sometimes, they’re not. My sister-in-law (whose mom is Filipino) has always encouraged us to just let them be. If they want the blonde Barbie, get it. If they want the Chinese one, awesome. I’m sure that the older they get, the more we’ll talk about that (and other things), but right now they seem super content. The cool part about McKinney is that just yesterday, I took them to swim in our neighborhood and there were four other families there at the same time with internationally adopted kids, so I”m really happy they will have that community too.
Jayne says
Be the Bridge, which a couple of people mentioned above in other contexts, has resources about transracial adoption that I’m sure a lot of parents would really love reading.
JLea says
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
Kelly says
I had a friend who adopted a Chinese baby girl into her natural born children (not sure I’m using the proper terminology) but anyway, she was always incorporating China, Chinese things and info until one day her daughter asked her to not do that anymore. She wanted to just “belong” to her adoptive family without constant reminders of her origin. To each their own. It seems to me you do a wonderful job as a mother and frankly, it really bugs me when ppl think they can criticize your way of mothering. Let them adopt and have their own family to do with as they see fit. #teamShay
Lauren says
Hi! I’m an elementary educator and have spent the past week researching and reaching out to friends about books for elementary age students. The goal is not only to read about important people of color, but also to see everyday picture books with people of color as the main characters. I have created an extensive list of over 300 books. Please consider supporting my effort to build more diverse classroom libraries. The link to my page is here –>https://gf.me/u/x8bfqg and it has a link to my Amazon List with all of the titles for your reference as well. Thanks for your support!
Erin Hill says
I have an 18-month old so while we’re not having conversations yet, I’m now being very aware of her books and toys and making sure they are representative of all skin tones and races. I’ve ordered her some small dolls that have different skin tones and some of the books I’ve ordered in the past week are Don’t Forget to Remember, You Matter (on back-order at amazon), In My Heart, and Love Makes a Family. As hard as the conversations have been this past week, I’m grateful to having my eyes opened more. I don’t know that I would have thought about her toys and making sure her dolls didn’t all just look like her. I probably should have thought of that, but now I definitely will. Thank you for sharing what you are doing in your house… great tips for when my girl is older!
Linda Henderson says
I applaud your efforts and I say Hooray for Smith. My Mother never censored my reading or movies. She took me on many wonderful trips which are precious memories now. (She is 90.) In my opinion, you are doing the right thing.
Carly Fogerson says
First, thank you for continuing to post and share resources about racism and diversity. It is a heavy topic, and I admire the way you (and your friends, Erika and Andrea) have been sharing your hearts about it, resources to check out and amplifying voices from the black and POC communities. Y’all lead with such kindness and grace.
Second, I think it is awesome that Smith is reading “A Time to Kill”. I was thinking about that book/movie right before I clicked on your blog link this morning. It is such a powerful story, and it provides a deep human connection to the pain Carl Lee and his family is going through. Personal connection to the pain of others is what really breaks down barriers in our hearts (in my opinion), and I think that’s how we change. It’s not lost on me I haven’t thought of that book or movie in a long time, and I thought about it moments before reading this post. You’re a wonderful mom, and I think God just wanted to send an extra reminder this morning.
Thank you for creating a safe place where we can discuss heavy topics, lift each other up and share some girl time. (And sorry about the novel, lol).
Elspeth says
This is so important! Thank you for providing these great resources for kids! I look forward to seeing what other suggestions people have!
http://www.elspthsdaybyday.com
Rebekah says
If you haven’t seen the documentary 13th by Ava Duvernay, I highly recommend for adults. It is available for full stream on YouTube and Netflix. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=krfcq5pF8u8
SS says
We watched it on the recommendation of a friend. It was very interesting. Not for kiddos… There are some freebie movies out there right now that we watched the trailers too and started making a list of ones that we would like to see.
I know behind a little but we watched 42 back in February (We were celebrating Black History month by learning some prominent Black History makers). We watched with our family will say we told our kiddo there will be words you are not to repeat and we had talked about some of the stuff in the movie. We all liked it and learned as well.
Stephanie Simpson says
AMC theaters has several movies you can rent for free right now via their website. The Secret Life of Bees is on the list and is an all time favorite of mine.
Ghost Inspector says
I know my comment has nothing to do with the post, apologies.. I am a new reader and slightly OCD… I noticed you use ShopStyle and no longer RewardStyle for affiliated links as mentioned in your disclosure 🙂
I say this with love and to help a girlfriend out, not to be picky. I am a Ghost Inspector for websites and just helping people out.
Mix and Match Mama says
I actually use both! I need to update that, thank you!
Susie Harrold says
Dear Martin is the best eye-opening book I’ve read on racial inequality. This is definitely an young adult novel, so I wouldn’t recommend it for your older two unless yiu did a read aloud and skipped a few situations. You should read it -I’m a middle school English teacher, and I recommend it as often as I can!
On another note, try the Mickey Bolitar series for Smith, by Harlan Coben. Shelter, Seconds Away, and Found. I’d say they are geared toward upper middle school, early high school, but there’s nothing to worry about content-wise with reference to language or sexual situations. They are intense but Mickey is such an amazing character, and there is a really endearing comical character as well who Smith would probably enjoy. Check them out!
Maddie says
For 10-12 year olds: “Ghost” by Jason Reynolds is fantastic! My 6th grade students read it last year and loved it. It’s the first book in a four book series, too!
Julie says
‘The Vanishing Half’ -new book by Brit Bennett- is fantastic. It’s the story of two black twin sisters and their struggles with the small town they grow up in and their own identity searches. Very profound, beautifully written and so many important lessons in it. My husband recently watched ‘American Son’ (movie with Kerry Washington) and said it was amazing and eye opening. I can’t wait to watch it myself. Thanks for this post. So needed.
Carlin Smith says
Jacqueline Woodson’s books are so good! I haven’t read the one you listed, but I used a couple of her books with my Kinders. Another way you can diversify your home (and maybe you already do) is by using multicultural dolls, toys, etc. I’m loving this post because I am making a conscious effort to learn, also. A podcast that is recommended to me was Black Like Me and Code Switch. I haven’t started them yet.
Melanie M. says
The movie called “Just Mercy” is free during the month of June. We watched it On Demand, but, I think Amazon has it, too. My husband and I thought it was a great movie. It’s based on a true story.
Melanie M. says
Also, did Ashby get a birthday party sign that your friend makes? I always enjoy seeing her creativity.
Mix and Match Mama says
Yes!! I will have to post that pic soon!!
Anna says
Amazon Prime Video currently has “Just Mercy” for free on there-a VERY good movie regarding racial injustice based on a true story.
Also on Netflix “13th” goes through the history of racial injustice from slavery through all the different administrations of our country.
Angela says
When I taught 3rd grade, one of our social studies units was slavery & segregation. There are so many powerful children’s books that lead to great discussions about racism. Here are a few of my favorites that we read: Freedom Summer (a tear jerker, for sure!), White Socks Only, and the entire series Addy, The American Girl Collection (start with Book 1…Meet Addy…this would be a great read aloud chapter book for kids). It’s important to teach children history and make them aware of strife that black people have endured and how we still need to improve and grow without judging a person based on their skin color. There are so many incredible picture books out there that can stir the heart and cultivate change within each of us.
Lucy Bertoldi says
I love this list of books- this is absolutely the way to go! It all begins in the home:) Come and link up this fun post and other posts you’d like to, over at my blog on Fridays! Thanks:)
Allena says
I’m doing this 21-day challenge: https://www.eddiemoorejr.com/21daychallenge which has a lot of great recommendations.
Podcast: 1619
Shows: The Innocence Files (on Netflix)
Books for adults: How to be an Anti-Racist, Me and White Supremacy, I’m Still Here, This Book in Anti-Racist, Biased, So You Want To Talk About Race, Trevor Noah: Born a Crime (reading this to my 11-year-old now and I read it a while back)
Books for Smith/Kensington: March (3-part graphic novel), Stamped (YA edition), New Kid
Books for younger kids: A is for Activist, Anti-Racist Baby, Last Stop on Market Street, Black is a Rainbow Color
IG: chescaleigh, teaching_tolerance, laylafsaad, ckyourprivelege, rachel,cargle, soyouwanttotalkabout, theconsciouskid, hereweread (EXCELLENT kid book suggestions!)
Also one other thing I’m trying to do is support local, Black-owned businesses. My next set of books I buy won’t be from Amazon but from Black Pearl Bookstore (local to Austin and owned by a Black woman).
I am ready to learn and grow with this community!
Laura says
Hi there! So happy to see people being proactive in teaching their kids about racial diversity and HISTORY. I grew up in a super bubble (kind of what I imagine McKinney to be like) and my parents were pretty strict, but one thing I have always appreciated, is that my mom would let me (and actively encouraged me) to read ANYTHING I wanted to.
Again, although I grew up sheltered and honestly didn’t really “get” a lot of what I was reading, as I was considering my reading list this past week, I had to say that I was REALLY proud of the diversity of authors and themes I saw there. Because Toni Morrison is from Ohio (where I am from), my mom encouraged me to read her books early on in high school. In her books, there are themes of rape, racism, etc. (which again, probably largely went over my head), but reading these authors and topics at a young age really opened my eyes and primed me to understand and believe issues of racial inequality and injustice when I heard about them – because I had seen that perspective before.
Anyway – long winded way to say that I think it’s great you support Smith in reading the books he wants, even though they contain mature themes. I’m sure a lot of it will be above his head, but reading fiction can be such a great window into worlds that you otherwise would never experience, and can really encourage empathy and understanding of people who are different than you.
Dawn Timmons says
Same Kind of Different as Me – True story by Denver Moore, Lynn Vincent, & Ron Hall
Carol W says
Anything by Candace Owens is literally terrible for the black community. She does not believe in racism , or any issues people of color deal with. She’s truly delusional and also think George Floyd “got what he deserved” because of a criminal past- he had turned to the Lord in 2014 & turned his life around! She’s a beautiful person on the outside but in the inside has a sad and unbiblical way of thinking. So thankful that God forgives and saves the least of these! Thanks for all you’re doing to promote diversity and stop racism❤️❤️❤️
Michele says
I think 13 on Netflx is good. It’s not for kids, but it was an eye opener for me. I’m also reading Me and White Supremacy. I think it’s great that you’re educating your kids about this, it’s never too early. Hopefully this next generation will do better than the ones before us.
Brandye says
Shay,
I raised a boy who read all the time, and everything he could get his hands on. So, I think you’re doing right with this book.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you, Brandye.
Jenna says
Front Desk by Kelly Yang is a great book about a girl who immigrated to the US from China and her experiences with racism. It would be a great read for your older kiddos. There’s a sequel coming out soon as well.
Kristi says
I have not read them but the Theodore Boone books by John Grisham were recommended to me when my son was younger. They might work for Smith although it sounds like his reading tastes are pretty sophisticated. Wish my son would have loved to read like that.
Sarah B says
The New Kid- Jerry Craft
They Called Us Enemy- George Takei The New Kid- Jerry Craft
Excellent graphic novels my boys love
The Sky At Our Feet- Nadia Hashimi
My 5th grade class started the Vanderbeeker series last year and LOVED them!
Save Me a Seat- Sarah Weeks, Gita Varadarajan
Ella says
I love this topic! I highly recommend reading the book Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult. It completely changed my understanding of what it means to be a black person in America. It’s about a woman who is a nurse at a hospital, and comes across a patient who gave birth and does not want this nurse near their baby simply because of her skin color. So she stays away, but one day in the nursery she notices the baby is turning blue, no one else is around to help, and so she tries to save the baby’s life… and then is sued for helping. And then the book takes you into her life and shows you what it’s like to live in the day of a life of an African American woman, who is also raising a son who deals with his own problems. It’s so important, I wish I could put this book in everyone’s hands, and my little explanation of it did not do justice at all.
Mix and Match Mama says
I have that one on my to-read list!! Great suggestion!!
Kristin says
The Watson’s Go to Birmingham. For your older 2. It’s a great read aloud. I would read it first before letting them read it by themselves. It’s got some deep situations. (It’s a great read for adults too!)
Kelly says
A great book recommended and an easy read by a black author is “Up From Slavery” by Booker T. Washington.
Valerie says
One of my all time favorite picture books that has evoked so many great conversations with my students is The Other Side by Jaqueline Woodson. You can’t go wrong with anything by her. You could read this with all 4 of your children.
mary says
i highly recommend that you and andrew read “me and white supremacy”. it is not just a book to read but a 28 day workbook/journal. i am going to start a virtual book club with some of my white friends. my idea is to spread out the 28 days to 28 meet ups. we will meet every other week to talk about what we read, what we wrote and what we discovered about white privilege. thanks for sharing with us what your family is doing.
Jessica says
It may have already been recommended, but it’s so good: To Kill a Mockingbird.
Amanda says
I read the excerpt from A Time to Kill on Amazon. Whoa. I’m so interested to hear how Smith reacts to the book and whether you ultimately decide it was a good choice for him. All three of my kids are obsessive readers, but I have such a hard time with giving up the reigns with my oldest, who’s 15. I still limit him to YA, but I really don’t know if I’m right. I’m terrified to introduce topics of sexual violence at a time when his thoughts towards healthy sexuality are still being formed. Like with porn- I worry that once an awful image is etched on your mind, you can never unsee it. A deep topic for your blog, but it’s hard parenting teenagers! I really would love to hear how and he feel about it after he’s read it.