Let's Look: MAKING COUPLE FRIENDS

Hey, hey Wednesday!

It’s time for this month’s LET’S LOOK!

If you don’t know what LET’S LOOK is, once a month, Erika and I do a little link up where we “look” at different aspects of our lives (and then if you blog, you share and link up too!). We have been doing this little linky party for years now, and it’s always one of my favorite posts each month because most of the topics are YOUR suggestions!

Alrighty, just as a reminder, here’s what we “looked at” in 2026 (all your suggestions!)…

In January, we looked at THINGS WE OUTSOURCE WITHOUT REGRET.
In February, we looked at WAYS WE’VE TURNED INTO OUR PARENTS.
In March, we looked at FAVORITE FAMILY VACATIONS.
In April, we looked at the HARDEST THINGS WE’VE EVER DONE.

This month’s topic pairs perfectly with something I shared a few weeks ago. We already chatted about FINDING COMMUNITY, and now we are looking at MAKING COUPLE FRIENDS.

This topic makes me think of that old King of Queens episode when Doug and Carrie are desperately trying to make new couple friends. Anyone else know what I’m talking about? It’s a really funny AND very relatable.

Here’s the deal, Andrew and I LOVE our couple friends! I hope I’m able to share a few ways/ideas for adding more in to your life as well (and then I really hope you share your ideas with everyone too!).

Obviously it’s not a requirement to have “couple friends” and certainly it’s great to be friends with a variety (per my COMMUNITY post!), but since you asked specifically for us to discuss this, it tells me some of you desire these relationships but haven’t quite found them yet.

As you know, we met Tab and Erika in Sunday school one random day back in 2006ish, and they pretty instantly became our favorite people. Andrew and I each found a bestie that just happened to be married to each other’s bestie. I feel extremely blessed because that’s the ULTIMATE couple friend situation. In honor of this almost 20 year couple friendship, I’ve sprinkled pics throughout this post 🙂 .

Here are a few thoughts I have on MAKING COUPLE FRIENDS…

GROW WHERE YOU’RE PLANTED

In my opinion, it just makes the most sense to start right where you’re “planted”. In our 22 years of marriage, Andrew and I have made couple friends in a variety of (obvious!) places like our neighborhood, our kids’ schools, our kids’ sporting events, and church. We have always found that it’s easier to find friends when you’re all already spending time together AND you’re united by a common goal.

If you’re going to see these people several times a week at practice and at tournaments over the weekends, you might as well invite them to grab lunch in between games or head to dinner after or simply swap phone numbers so you can carpool and connect, etc.

BE OPEN MINDED

It feels easier/simpler to find my own friends than to have Andrew find friends for me. You know what I mean? Maybe it’s just me, but it’s kind of awkward, right? Well, some of my favorite friendships have been because either Andrew or myself met someone and then encouraged our spouse to meet their spouse. We’ve both had to become a little more open minded about these suggestions.

Did I cringe a bit when Andrew said “I know this guy at the gym. We should go have dinner with him and his wife.” Um, yes. Yes, I did. I don’t know this guy at the gym, why do I want to go hang out with him and his wife? But guess what? That was about 16 years ago, and that couple friendship became such a dear and sweet one to us. We absolutely LOVE this family.

This last June, I went to pick my kids up from art class on Nantucket and the woman who owns the studio stopped me because she thought I just “had to meet” this other couple who was in there picking up their girls too. She had made the connection that we lived in the same neighborhood, so she wanted to introduce us. I said hi and we made a bit of small talk. I went home and told Andrew about them and he seemed very “whatever” about the idea. Fast forward about 20 minutes and Andrew and I went to walk to the mailbox and said husband was also walking to the mailbox area and by the time we collected our mail and walked home, they were best friends. Bahaha! I mean, I’ve never seen a friendship form faster. Like ever. They have absolutely become some of our favorite friends…all because we were all four open minded at the little art studio.

CHANGE YOUR CRITERIA

I don’t know how else to phrase this, but I think it’s okay when you’re making “couple friends” to perhaps change your “normal” friend criteria. This couple doesn’t have to be your bestie for life. They can just be nice people you enjoy spending time with from time to time. Maybe your husband likes this guy from work and you think his wife is “fine” but not someone you want to hang out with 24/7. I think that’s okay. My guess is that over a meal, you’ll probably find more in common than you first thought, but it’s also okay to just have a fine dinner without the expectation that she’s your soulmate. I think our “couple friend” community can run the range of “nice acquaintance” to “please be a pallbearer at my funeral”. We don’t have to necessarily have amazing chemistry with everyone in order to spend a bit of time with them from time to time.

PUT IN THE EFFORT

We have truly found some of our favorite friends in our neighborhood and local community. For years and years, we went to the pool down the street from our neighborhood. We have a pool in our own backyard, but we realized that this pool was where everyone was hanging out. I can’t even count the friends we made at that pool over the 10+ years we visited. We packed bags and towels and sunscreen and all of our squirmy kiddos and made the trek to this pool for the soul purpose of community…and we found it. Anything worth having usually takes effort…and that includes finding other people in your neighborhood and community.

BE FLEXIBLE

The best part about couple friends? You get two for the price of one! The worst part about couple friends? You also get TWO SCHEDULES for the price of one. And that’s okay! They’re going to be flexible with your schedules, routines, lifestyle, commitments, and you should be flexible with theirs too. People don’t typically gravitate towards rigid, inflexible friendships…my advice is to be flexible.