Happy Wednesday, friends!
It’s the APRIL edition of Let’s Look!
If you don’t know what this is, once a month, Erika and I do a little link up where we “look” at different aspects of our lives (and then if you blog, you share and link up too!). We have been doing this little linky party for years now, and it’s always one of my favorite posts each month because most of the topics are YOUR suggestions!
In January, we looked at HOW WE ORGANIZE FOR THE NEW YEAR.
In February, we looked at WHAT WE EAT IN A WEEK.
In March, we looked at OUR FAVES FROM HIGH SCHOOL & COLLEGE
And today, we’re looking at….HOW YOU PLAN/DO DATE NIGHTS!
I mean, am I right or am I right?!
Oh how I love a date night with this guy. The deal is though…they’re few and far between during this season as well, we’re so dang busy with those four kids! That being said, I do think that the longer we’ve been married (18 years now!), the better we’ve become at carving out “date” time throughout our week. I mean, it’s not a traditional “make a reservation, get a babysitter and go to a fancy dinner” kind of date night, but it works for us and keeps us connected. In fact, our kids groan often because well, we like each other. A lot. And at least once a week, we say “leave us alone, we’re hanging out together on the patio”. He’s my favorite person, and I enjoy hanging out with him, so it’s not always traditional, but it works. That being said, I’m SUPER open to your ideas because I bet you have a million good ones about date nights 🙂 .
Here’s how we “do date night” during this stage of life:
#1: We date with our kids in tow. Yup. Please note, the last two pics are of us at The Yard here in McKinney enjoying a drink, sitting by the firepit and chatting. Those kiddos are with us and it’s totally family time, but it’s also a great way to get out of the house with its never ending list of chores/responsibilities/laundry/things to distract us from hanging out together. It’s one way we have “date night” without really having “date night”. We’re on a date…just with four chaperones 😉 . If you have younger kids, this is much harder, but if you have older kids, change how you think of evenings like this sometimes. Often, a family night can double as a date!
#2: We head outside on the patio with a charcuterie board, some fun music and tell the kids to stay inside. Again, if you have littles that can’t entertain themselves safely, this is harder, but for us, if we can grab even a quick 15 minute patio hangout time, we can catch up, chat, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company before we run off to baseball practice/make dinner/do laundry. It’s good for the soul even if it’s brief.
#3: We day date…
Awwwwww! I miss my babies being at home with me SO MUCH! I would go back and do those years over in a heart beat…BUT…there is something glorious about eating a meal and hanging out during the day while the kids are in school. Built in babysitters, beautiful weather and sometimes friends, make day dating one of my faves. Sometimes, we do big things (like last year, when we went to the Byron Nelson golf tournament) and other times, we just grab a quick lunch. Either way, it’s an easy way to sneak in a date.
#4: Group dates are our jam too! We love going to dinner with friends, but with everyone’s busy schedules, we often plan those a month or two in advance. It might sound insane to say “hey, on June 18, can you mark that date down for a couples date” but it’s the only way (we’ve found) to make sure our schedules allow for date nights with our favorite couples and groups of friends.
#5: Get a babysitter or leave your kiddos home for a late evening activity. Andrew and I love the live music at this little wine bar right by our house. Sometimes, we’ll have all the sports and family time and then after the kids are showered and ready for bed, we’ll go over there for an hour and enjoy the music (they play until 11:00 PM). So, it’s not a full date, but it’s a super fun hour after we’re finished with all of our kiddos’ activities.
Yeah but what did you do when your kids were little??
Here are a few things:
#1: We took turns with the Slaughters and one week, they would go on a date while we watched all of the kids (it was crazy and loud but hey, the next week, we would switch!). This was an easy and free way to have a date night. Find another couple and see if you can switch off!
#2: Andrew and I stopped going to movie when K and Smith were little because we didn’t want to spend the money on the movie, the dinner and the babysitter. Want to know what happened? We realized we LOVED not going to the movies. Instead of doing both, we started just getting a babysitter and going to dinner…but staying longer at dinner and chatting. Wait for it…we tried to remember, but I don’t think Andrew and I have been to see a movie together in a theater without our kids since 2010. Yup. Getting rid of the movies allowed us to be able to pay for the sitter and spend more time together at dinner.
#3: We had our nightly brownie time every night after the kids went to bed. If you’ve been around here a while then you know that Andrew and I FOR YEARS had a brownie date night every night after the kids went to bed. I would make a batch of brownies each week, and we would enjoy one and chat when the kiddos were asleep. We loved this stage in our life and reflect back on it often. Some nights, we chatted about 10 minutes…some nights, an hour. Either way, it was something we always looked forward to. We stopped having brownie dates two years ago when our house became g-free, and we realized that g-free brownies weren’t that amazing…and because most nights, our kids stay up later than us 😉 .
My favorite nights are the nights when we’re all together. I know that this season will be over in a blink, so I try not to take any family time for granted. If you have little babies at home, please know that I understand that you’re just trying to keep your head above the water. Don’t forget about your marriage (PLEASE DON’T!!!), and try super hard to stay connected even if just in little ways every day, but I also understand that “big date nights” aren’t always realistic, so try and sprinkle them in even if it’s just on the patio or over a brownie.
Now, what are your date night tricks, tips and ideas! Please comment and share!!
Coming up this year on Let’s Look…
…next month, we will be posting our HOMETOWNS!
If you blogged with us today, make sure you link up below!
Have the best Wednesday! xx
Sarah says
Ummmmm….as a teacher I don’t ever want to be viewed as a “built in babysitter”.
Mix and Match Mama says
Of course not, I mean…I don’t have to pay someone to watch my littles and keep them safe as…the teachers are already doing that. You know what I mean…they’re occupied during the day. You know how much I love teachers 🙂 .
Erika Slaughter says
Glad we already have a date night on the books soon!!
Elspeth says
These are such great suggestions!! I love the idea of a day date!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Natasha says
We switched off with another couple for date nights too. We scheduled them twice a month. The extra kids were worth the free babysitting and the built in scheduled time. We even planned sleepovers a few times a year so each couple could get extra time. It was a GREAT way to have scheduled, free, babysitting when neither of us had parents who could help out in that way.
Sheaffer says
I love a day date. And a day date on a patio is like hitting the jackpot!
Jordan says
I am not g-free, but recently had the g-free brownies from Trader Joe’s and thought they were SO good! Just FYI if you haven’t tried them yet 🙂
Mix and Match Mama says
Did you make them with a boxed mix or are they packaged? Or from the bakery? I want to try them!!
Lori says
We’ve had the box mix & they’re delicious. We don’t even eat GF in our home & this is the mix I use!
Jordan says
Yes, it’s the boxed mix! They’re super chocolate-y and have chocolate chips in them too. My Bible study leader made them one week and everyone loved them!
Julie says
Mom of a tween, two teens and two dogs over here! This is not winning any awards for ‘glamorous date’ but sometimes if my husband or I are going out for a car ride…to pick up takeout for dinner, to drop off something for an errand, etc, we’ll go together. Maybe it’s :30 total but it’s just the two of us in the car and we can say WHATEVER! Often times, just allowing ourselves to vent and get it all out to each other without the kids around makes us more patient with whatever happens the rest of the day or night! Now that my husband works from home (new to us, I always have!) we also try to have lunch together as often as possible. We’re usually home in our kitchen, but just the peace and quiet of lunch without kids is almost as good as being at a restaurant!
Mix and Match Mama says
I love this!!!! Great idea, Julie!!
MelanieL says
Great tip Julie, we do this too! We love running an errand or going on an ice cream cone drive just the two of us. We also work at the same place but do not see each other and will occasionally have a spur of the moment lunch date when the stars align, my favorite!
Raissa says
You have to try the gluten free King Arthur Fudge Brownie Mix! Its amazing! I usually stir in half a bag of chocolate chips just for a little something extra. I wasnt gluten free until a few years ago so I know what its like when things fall short of the usual and these dont!
Julianna says
Mom of littles over here! My husband and I have dinner together almost every night after our kids are in bed. We got tired of rushing through our meal with crying babies. Someday soon we’ll enjoy family dinners together, but for now this works best. Last night was warm and we had dinner outside with a cocktail. It was glorious!
Katie Hayes says
This isn’t gonna win awards for being glamorous… but we sneak in time during the evening to walk together. It started during covid when we needed a few minutes to talk without kids listening/chiming in. 🙂
Our boys are 13 & 9… after dinner, they are in charge of dinner cleanup and taking their showers. So while they pickup the kitchen and get ready for bed, we sneak in a walk around our neighborhood. It’s become part of our routine now and we love it.
Sometimes with sports running late, we take super short walks in the dark while they get ready for bed. Even 15 minutes is golden… whatever we can do! Or we walk at the ball fields during their practice time. 🙂
We’ve been married 20 years and really love to spend time together!
Ani Martinez says
A huge game changer for us was when our oldest became “old enough” to babysit… At first, we just went to the restaurant down the street for apps and drinks (walking distance) and called home every 15 minutes 😉 But, now with 2 teens, we wish we had more family time – how the tables have turned!
Shavon says
Mom of a high school boy–my husband and I have started hanging out together more and more as the teen is gone with sports, practices, life. At first we didn’t quite know what to do with one another, but over time we’ve really realized it isn’t a matter of going out and doing all the things together like a romantic date; it’s the opportunity to be together. Sometimes I’m in a book and he’s doing whatever it is he does on his iPad. Often, we’ll find ourselves chatting. We’re simply together and that is what’s most important to us.
Angela P. says
We have three littles 5 and under. So when they all go down for their naps (or quite time) on certain weekends, my husband and I make an early dinner or order food in. A lot of times, we try to do something a little more upscale (steak, lobster, etc…), however sometimes it just burgers on the grill. We pour some wine and enjoy a little date night…during the afternoon 🙂 We like to do this for birthday’s, anniversaries, holiday’s, or just a random weekend. For example this weekend we are spending Easter with extended family. However, I ordered a Fresh Market Lamb Easter Meal for two. We will be cooking it Saturday during nap time. Even though we should use the time to clean a closet ;-), making our relationship is a priority!
Amy says
LOVE the day date!!! Having lunch together, running errands, or our newest thing…..Pickleball!!! Bwahahaha!
Jenny N says
I love hearing other people are obsessed with their spouses!
We have been married 30 years and have grown kids and they groan often because “we like each other a lot” too! We are obsessed with each other and have always hugged, kissed and even done random booty grabs in front of our kids. We have always told them they should be very happy that Mommy and Daddy love each other VERY much!! We still tell them that now.
Happy Easter!
Amy Azza says
Jenny, aww that is so wonderful! I love hearing stories like this. My grandparents were the exact same way and were married for 70 years. Cheers to your marriage!
Natalie says
I think I struggle the most with conversation on a date night. Besides work or kids, I think I’m pretty boring currently. I am a “talker” and yet I have had such a hard time lately talking to my hubby about anything other than orders of business. ??♀️
Beth says
I feel this so much! In our current season of life – 2 kids who play sports, school, after school clubs, church activities, etc. I feel like 85% of our conversations end up being logistics. I almost don’t know how to talk about normal things…ha! I need to work on this. It’s life but I do want to be exciting, too!
Suzanne says
I love that your date nights often include the kids! We definitely have family nights with our kiddo and it still feels special — we love each other and spending time outside of our normal routine can be delightful.
Sarah Shaneyfelt says
I love the idea of swapping babysitting with another family! Such a great idea and basically a free night out when it’s your turn to go out!
MeetTheShaneyfelts
Cole says
Just curious….what kind of music do you and Andrew listen to when you have patio charcuterie date nights? 🙂
Mix and Match Mama says
I love that question! It varies…sometimes, we keep the French music playing or other times, we’ll turn on Z100 (a radio station we love out of NYC), we like The Beatles and The Eagles stations on Pandora too!
Alissa says
My husband and I carve out time every Wednesday evening (or alternate days if something comes up) after our boys go to bed to drink a glass of wine and play board games. No phones, no TV, just games and us. It lets us reconnect and sometimes we don’t even do a ton of talking but just enjoy being in each other’s company without the constant jabbering happening by our two boys, ha! It’s something I look forward to every week!
Laci Hampton says
Love these suggestions !!! I know our marriage is always better when we carve out time to connect each day. We split 2 scoops of ice cream after the kids are in bed kinda like your brownie 🙂
Amanda says
Not really a date night thing but a way to encourage daily connection. Get out of the, “how was your day? What’s on your schedule tomorrow?” We got the 365 connecting questions books from marriage 365. We do the family ones at dinner with the kids and the adult one after they go to bed or while they are at school. Sometimes it’s just a 5 minute answering the question conversation but often it branches out so that we aren’t even on the same topic anymore. Highly recommend both of these books!
Aileen says
This is so good! We have a two year old and a four year old, so date nights out aren’t always realistic for us. We love to put a movie on for the kids upstairs (thankfully we can finally do that now!) and hang out in the living room with a little snack or cocktail and catch up. It’s a small thing, but really helps us stay connected and we love it. We squeeze in a dinner out when we can too – our favorite thing to do once or twice a year is get a couples massage. So great!
Addie says
You NEED to make these gluten free brownies!!! I have fooled family and friends into thinking they are normal 🙂
https://organicallyaddison.com/the_best_fudgy_paleo_brownies/
Lisa N says
I also love when your kids pile up in your room in their sleeping bags to watch a movie. Much better than a theater!
Aleks says
We had great convo with this little date guide and it was free!
https://assets.ctfassets.net/lwoaet07hh7w/2plKDN1mxzJVzmZ9SDc1VO/dba6021c7e24f05d261fa6141bb47a39/At_Home_Date_Night_Guide_2020.pdf
Lisa says
When our kids were younger, on Saturday nights we’d feed them dinner early (normal nights we always eat as a family) and put them to bed. Then we’d make a fancy dinner and eat together as our date night. Now they’re older they don’t want to go to bed early so we’ve adjusted and let them watch a movie while we eat. But even that’s a rarity bc our kids love family dinner! So now we try to go out to lunch on Fridays while they’re at school.