Hey, hey, hey!
It’s another edition of SHAY’S WAYS + TRAVEL TUESDAY!
Alrighty, so in May…
…I shared my COUPLES TRIPS TIPS which lead blog reader, Lauren (hi Lauren!) to suggest I share my tips on TRAVELING WITH OTHER FAMLIES.
I loved that idea, jotted it down, and today is the day to discuss!
I spend so much of my 9 to 5 talking to clients going on trips with other families, extended family, big multi-generational groups, and at this point in my career, I can spot the red flags pretty quickly. I hope my tips help you not only plan trips with people you love, BUT actually enjoy every minute of them.
OR I hope my tips help you know when it’s time to decline the big family trip…because that’s perfectly acceptable too.
Here we go…
Spoiler alert…
…the Shull family only really travels with THIS FAMILY and…
…OUR ACTUAL FAMILY.
And sometimes…
…all combined 🙂 .
Which leads me to…
PICK THE RIGHT PEOPLE
I know this probably sounds like a no brainer, but for the love, you don’t know how many people I’ve talked to over the years who know they’re planning a trip with the “wrong” people and yet, they still do it. If you do not enjoy the other family’s company over Thanksgiving dinner, you probably shouldn’t spend thousands of dollars and take time off of work to go on a trip with them.
One of these days, I’m going to write a book called Things People Say to Their Travel Agent and fill it with stories 😉 .
One time, I had a group of families who needed six cruise cabins, and between our initial meeting and departure, five out of the six families reached out to me to move their cabins away from other people in their group. I told my office manager at one point that the ship was only so big to keep these people from each other. Who wants to vacation with people you’re actively avoiding on board? This story might sound extreme, but you would be surprised how many people know going into their trip that they don’t enjoy the company of the other families (whether it’s their own or friends). Let me give you permission and the confidence to say, NO THANK YOU. Traveling requires both time and money, and if you’re not 100% excited about traveling with this other family, JUST SAY NO.
On that same note, if you’re not excited about the destination, JUST SAY NO too. I’ve had clients say things to me like “I don’t want to go, but it’s not that expensive, so I guess we will join them.”. Regardless of the price, it is still costing you money AND time, so if you’re really not interested, say no.
Say no.
Traveling should bring joy to your life. Life is way too short to spend your resources on a trip that does not bring you joy.
BE COMPLETELY HONEST…ABOUT EVERYTHING
If you’re planning a trip with another family, you must be completely honest about EVERYTHING.
You need to be upfront about your budget, you need to be upfront about what your family likes/does not like to do on vacation, you need to be honest about how many days you want this trip to last, what your priorities are (for accommodations, food, excursions, etc), how much downtime you require…EVERYTHING.
It’s way better to discuss all of these details BEFORE the trip than during the trip.
Simple things like “on vacation, my family loves a big restaurant breakfast” needs to be said in case you’re traveling with the family that brings granola bars and mini boxed cereals for breakfast when they travel.
How much luggage do you guys each plan on bringing? This might sound irrelevant until Family A carries on and Family B checks four big bags plus a set of golf clubs and your ground transportation isn’t large enough (because family A lined it up).
If one party suggests something that sounds out of your budget/comfort zone/likes, speak up in advance. This doesn’t mean they don’t get to do that thing…it just means they understand they might be doing it without you.
Speak up. Just because you spend time with a family “in real life” DOES NOT mean you know how they travel. People’s “vacation selves” can be vastly different than their “real life selves”.
BE WILLING TO COMPROMISE
Okay, so you’ve picked your family(s), and it’s time to book your trip/actually go on your trip.
Repeat after me, “It’s not my trip”.
It’s not.
It’s a group trip which means you must be willing to compromise on everything.
You might have to wake up earlier than normal, you might have to stop for lunch later than you typically would, you might do an excursion you normally wouldn’t pick…whatever it is, be willing to compromise. A large group trip with multiple families cannot be exactly what “you” would like to do. Compromise is the key.
I think mindset makes the vacation, and if you go in with the mindset of “This isn’t my trip. This is a group trip, so I will be flexible” then YOU WILL HAVE MORE FUN. It’s crazy how sometimes when we compromise with the right attitude, we end up having the most fun. Simply releasing the “but I would have done it this way” mentality on vacation makes the whole trip so much better.
GIVE YOURSELF SPACE
When traveling with a larger group, space is the key. Make sure you have time apart to unwind, relax, and reset before meeting back up. Or give yourself space to each do an excursion/activity that speaks to each family. Maybe Family A wants to go hiking while Family B wants to relax on the beach…do that.
You’re allowed to separate on group vacations and then meet back up. It honestly gives the vacation a little recharge/boost if you take a minute to reset.
BE HELPFUL
When you’re traveling with another family(s), be helpful. You don’t know how many times we’ve traveled with the Slaughters when a kid has thrown up, a kid has started crying over something, one of us lost our wallet or had an emergency work call or whatever and the other parents automatically just step in and are helpful.
Truly, I couldn’t count the times we’ve been helpful with each other on vacations (which is a wonderful benefit of group travel!).
For example, let’s say we’ve had a kid with motion sickness and instead of everyone stopping and watching us deal with it, Erika has whisked all the other kids off to the side to see “who can jump the highest” (little kids love random competitions) or said things like “let’s all go get ice cream” so that we could take care of that sick kiddo without the others around, etc.
When you’re traveling with another family, it’s all hands on deck. Be that extra set of hands. Work together and be helpful.
DON’T BE SENSITVE
I personally think when you’re traveling with other families, we can’t be too sensitive.
Traveling together with children is not the time to bring up differing political views.
Or religious views.
Or thoughts on vaccines.
Or basically anything in the news.
You all can chat about that when you’re back at home, but on vacation, if you’re really into recycling and they’re not, let’s just set a good example and not get worked up over it.
BE FUN
Be fun, be fun, be fun!
If you are choosing to travel with people outside of your household, you better have FUN on the brain. Don’t let them be the people who come home from vacation and tell their travel agent that their friends were “too rigid, too particular, and not fun to travel with”. Don’t be that half of the equation. Choose fun. It’s a choice.
EXPECT A BIT OF CHAOS
If your normal trip has every detail covered, is quite organized, and always executed perfectly…don’t expect that on a family group trip. If you expect a little chaos…you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by how well it all unfolds. The more people on your trip, the more chances for a little chaos…and that’s okay.
Let’s be honest, the most retold, very best travel stories almost always come out of a little unexpected chaos 😉 .
Alrighty, of course, I would love to know how YOU travel with other families too!
Like I said at the top of the post…
…Mix and Match Travel Agency LOVES big multi-family trips…
…and of course…
…we would love to send YOUR FAMILY(S!) TOO!
Reach out to us TODAY if you would like more information on our vacation planning whether for a solo trip or a big group vacation, we would LOVE to help!
Just a reminder, last week, I shared…
…my little “ways” for AIR TRAVEL WITH EASE. Make sure you pop over there if you missed that post.
I also have posts on TRAVELING WITH DOGS, TRAVELING WITH KIDS, and TRAVELING WHILE INTERMITTENT FASTING for your Tuesday too!
I have other SHAY’S WAYS you might want to check out today as well…
Just look:
25 Keys to a Peaceful Morning
22 Keys to making Fall Cozy
19 Key Fall Kitchen Essentials
18 Keys to Prepping for a Trip
14 Keys to Simplify BACK TO SCHOOL
21 Keys to Savoring Summer
21 Keys for Working at Home {Summer Edition}
25 Keys to Outdoor Summer Entertaining
25 Keys to Maintaining our Yard
17 Keys to my Holiday Prep
11 Keys to a Cozy Winter
9 Keys to Returning from a Trip
12 Keys to Leaving Your Kiddos When You Travel
13 Keys to Meal Planning
8 Keys to Creating Daily Routines You Love
21 Keys to Elevating the Everyday
13 Keys to Managing Jet Lag
9 Keys to a Cozy Halloween Night
19 Keys to Hosting Festive & Easy Holiday Parties
12 Keys to Adding Activity into the Everyday
17 Keys to Working From Home
9 Easy Afternoon Energizers
14 Simple Luxuries
8 Keys to Finding a Gym
21 Ways I Hygge
12 Ways for a Happier Day
7 Keys to Reducing/Avoiding Motion Sickness
8 Ways to Add “Vacation” to the Everyday
10 Keys to Getting Ready to Workout
8 Ways I Stay Healthy When I Travel
7 Ways to Make the Holidays Fun for Teens
9 Things NOT to do at the Gym
7 Ways to Find Community
11 Travel Finds in my Home
18 Ways to be Summer Chic
10 Ways it’s Good to be Neighborly
10 Ways to Fly with Ease
Happy Tuesday, friends!
I’ll see you all back here tomorrow. xx
Elspeth Mizner says
These are all great tips! Smart things to think of before traveling!
Thanks Shay!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Rebecca says
Long time reader but don’t comment as often as I should 🙁 I look forward to your blog posts each morning! Thank you for sharing your life with us (have been following since 2013!) a question and if it is to personal please just skip it. Haha! Genuinely curious have y’all found it more difficult with older kids schedules to go on a trip together again in recent years? I fully recognize that you may have gone on trips and not shared haha! With these special years of “lasts” (how in the world is Kensington a senior?!?) it is completely understandable 🙂 just genuinely curious! thank you again for being part of my cozy mornings!!
Mix and Match Mama says
That’s a great question and honestly, I don’t think it’s changed much (how often we travel together), but honestly, what has changed is that it’s so much EASIER because my older kids drive. Now, when the grandparents come over to stay while Andrew and I travel, the big kids can completely get to and from everything and the grandparents only have to drive around/keep up schedules for the younger two. That has been a big game changer. My mom said it’s like being on vacation when she comes to my house now because everyone is so independent (versus when she would come 10 years ago).
Bernadine says
I think she meant going on trips together with the Slaughter family now that all the kids are older and have different schedules.
Mix and Match Mama says
Awwwww, yes! That is more complicated because we can’t really do spring break trips right now since Bowen still plays baseball. One day though, one day, we shall resume 🙂 . We still do smaller mixed trips though with them which is fun (the dads will go skiing, the moms will go to Disney, etc). We make it work.
Bonnie Butler says
Thank you for these reminders! For me, we travel with other family members and I always have to remind myself that they operate at a slower speed. Being mindful of age/generation gaps when I travel helps me get in the right mindset.
Sheaffer says
Goodness, lots of great tips today!!!
Lauren says
I haven’t even gotten past reading the opening sentence of this post, and I am so excited for the shoutout! 🙂 Thank you so much for following up on my suggestion, Shay! Can’t wait to read your tips and drink my morning coffee.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank YOU, Lauren!! I really really really always appreciate ideas and suggestions! xx
Tina says
I have recently been reflecting on the trips I have taken with my mom. I was wondering if you and your mom have ever done a trip just the two of you? Looking back, those are some sweet memories and I am hoping to experience with my own adult daughters in the future.
Mix and Match Mama says
No, I have done many trips with just my dad, but not my mom. My mom is a person who happily goes along with travel, but she does not have the travel passion like my dad. Her love language is more spending time with her at her house. She loves being at home.
Lisa D says
I just love this post!
Number one for travels with others, in my opinion, is to be flexible. And then compromise. With a great attitude and a smile!
The end😊
Mix and Match Mama says
THE END!!
Faith says
All great tips! And yes to saying no! As our extended family has grown up, expanded and gotten older, we no longer do a big family trip each year. We have many precious memories but it was time to end the tradition.
Lauren Palmer says
Thank you for publishing this post!!!! I love it! Also, anyone making vaccines a topic of conversation on a trip…or anytime…makes me laugh.
Paula Hobbs says
So much wisdom in this post! I love love love all my “peeps”, but I’m also honest enough to know there’s a select few that I could never travel with, and that’s perfectly okay! I’m sure some probably think the same thing about me, also okay!! Ha ha!
Darcy says
I wish I had read this post 10 years ago! Oh my goodness, how I struggle with flexibility and compromise with a smile! One of my very favorite trips was taking my 13 year-old daughter at the time for a long weekend in NYC. We did have perfect weather, but I remember thinking back of how I loved being able to do everything that I wanted to do and when I wanted to! I planned the trip for her, but it was definitely for me too! At one point, we were seated across from the bathroom at Serendipity and then the waitress said that they didn’t serve wine (note to self…Serendipity is best for an afternoon treat, not dinner!)! Well, my daughter finished her lemonade and we left and found a fantastic neighborhood Mexican restaurant up the street…we were both craving a change of atmosphere and a better dinner menu! I loved being able to just pick-up if I wasn’t happy with what was happening!!! It is so easy with 2 people versus 10!!! I appreciate the pointers and will take to heart in the future if I actually say “yes” to a bigger group trip again!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank YOU for sharing your story, Darcy! I often struggle with being flexible with a smile too 🙂 .
Rebecca Lingerfelt-Brown says
The picture of all the kids at the luau💜💜precious! Great tips and I love the way you brought humor to all the things. So fun!
And now I hear MEMORIES🎶 in my head!😉😂
Kay says
I love this post! We just came back from an epic Greek adventure with a party of ten, ages 16-21 for “kids” and it was honestly amazing. First, I would say don’t take a special trip with someone unless you’ve traveled together successfully before. My best friend and I traveled the world together in our 20s, and we know that we travel the SAME WAY. It’s just EASY. So it was a no brainer to travel together with our families bc I knew whatever she chose, I’d love it too. If you’re taking a special once in a lifetime trip, don’t “hope” that you’ll become close on the trip! Choose your ride or dies to travel with so you know ahead of time that you’re in sync.
It helps to have kids the same age! Not totally a requirement, but most teens want to do the same types of things, most little kids like the same types of things, etc. If you have college age kids with elementary schoolers, it’ll be…harder to please everyone.
In our group, not all the boys liked shopping as much as the girls! So, we made the last night of our trip a “Yankee swap” where each person picked an under $15 gift to be traded the last night. That made everyone more tolerant of shopping as the boys had to find a little gift too! It made the last night SO SPECIAL and everyone went home with a little souvenir picked by another group member. So I think ice breakers and little “tasks” help the group work together better too!
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Kay!! I could not agree more! xx
Katie says
Buddy up! Traveling in packs can be hard. People walk at different paces, you can’t take up the whole sidewalk, not everyone will fit in one vehicle, not everyone wants to stop at the gift shop, etc. It’s the whole “hurry up and wait” phenomenon of traveling with a huge group. We make sure everyone has a buddy (and depending on the group, we switch up pairings each day), that way if we need to split up to take different vehicles, or wait on one person who had to run back to the room for the thing they forgot, the buddies are together and it’s not the whole group waiting on one or two people. When our kids were little, we made sure they all had a buddy who was an adult or older teen (e.g. to hold their hand walking across the street). Switching it up helps if you have kids who ALWAYS want to sit by mom/dad/auntie so they know they get that special person for the whole day. You can also make it into a game–have the buddy pairings pick a team name, play games on the way to your next stop and compete to see which buddies win, have the buddies make up secret handshakes while waiting in line, etc.
Mix and Match Mama says
I love this!! Thank you, Katie!
Kristen says
We travel with two other families and it’s perfect. We all have our roles, we all know when certain families need quiet time. We all get along and the laughs are plentiful. Now I know there are certain families I could never travel with but finding these two families that we have been friends of ours for over a decade (we met when kids started Kindergarten) have been a blessing!
Bren says
We have found “our people” for traveling with and I love everything about this post and what you shared. It’s okay to say no (better to share beforehand than getting there with the expectations that you were okay with something when really you are not), but also if you are going with a group, be flexible and YES – expect chaos – and typically our chaos has turned out to be fun, memory-making type of chaos! Great post as always, thanks for sharing, Shay!
Carole George says
Interesting topic! My family has done a beach trip with a couple other families for years. The only issue we have is the temperature in the condo! LOL one of the wives is always freezing and we tell her to bring her flannel pjs (and she does) but she will also turn up the thermostat anyway. We have to make sure someone else stays up later than her to turn it back down so the rest of us don’t sweat all night! We all just laugh about it every morning, then it happens again and again. 😂😂😂