Today’s post is all about ASHBY’S 5TH GOTCHA DAY!!
On Saturday, January 4th, we celebrated five amazing years with this sweet girl…
…five is a big deal with Chinese adoptions because that signifies the end of China’s interest in our adoption. No more social worker, no more paperwork, no more annual visits/required documentation…we.are.done!
Oh gosh, where do I begin? Five years ago…
…they handed me the sweetest 2½ year old little girl dressed in brand new winter clothes and clutching a banana. She was crying, she was sad, she was confused, but it was love at first site for this mom. We had prayed for Ashby London, waited for her, talked about her, thought about, were so excited to finally meet her and she exceeded all of our expectations.
Part of me wishes I had that snuggly two year old back…but then a bigger part of me is so happy that now, I have this confident, vivacious, funny, silly, sweet seven year that feels so secure about her place in our family.
This was about an hour after we met her. Look at that sweet face!!!
This was about five days after we became a family. Friends, adoption changes everything.
Five years with Ashby London Shull.
All the personality. All the spunk. All the fun. All the strength.
We love you, Ashby!
I want to point out before I leave today that adoption is so beautiful but complicated too. On New Year’s Eve night, we were at our special dinner celebrating the end of 2019 when Ashby asked a question that ended with Andrew, Kensington, Smith, Ashby and me all sobbing at the table. (Madeley was too interested in buttering her bread to care about the crying.) I’m not going to go into details, but it was an innocent question that lead us into a conversation that just made us all cry. It was deep and complex and simple and beautiful and tragic all at the same time. It wasn’t little tears…it was sobs at our table, but they were okay because they pushed us, helped us grow and strengthened us a family that night. Most of the time, I forget about adoption over here. You know? We’re such a unit, a family, we don’t see each other as anything other than meant to be here that you forget about adoption (just like I forget about childbirth and pregnancy and don’t think about that every day either), but then it sneaks up on you and you have a really raw moment about the hurt and pain that involves adoption and yet it’s cleansing and healthy too. I just wanted you to know, if you’re in it now and it seems complicated, that sometimes, it’s complicated at our table too.
If you have thought about adoption, either domestic or international, let 2020 be the year that you act. Let this be the year you do something about it. There are MILLIONS of kids just like Ashby who have so much joy in their hearts, have so many giggles, have so many cuddles, have so much to offer the world if someone could just help them find a forever home. Let this be the year you take that first step and then maybe it will also be the year they get their family.
If you have questions about adoption, want a place to chat, get information or seek encouragement, please join our Facebook group HERE. We would love to have you. xo
To see all of my posts on our adoptions, please scroll and click below…
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 3 Years
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 2.5 Years
Madeley’s Gotcha Day {2nd Anniversary}
Madeley’s Post Adoption: Month 21
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 18
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 15
Madeley’s Gotcha Day {1st Anniversary}
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 11
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 10
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 9
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 8
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 7
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 6
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 5
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 4
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 3
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 2
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 1
Meeting Madeley for the first time: HERE
All of our China travel posts: HERE
To see more about our journey to adopt Ashby, see below:
Ashby’s Post Adoption: 4.5 Years
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {4 Year Anniversary}
Ashby’s Post Adoption: 3.5 Years
Ashby Gotcha Day {Third Anniversary}
Ashby Post Adoption: 2.5 Years
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {Second Anniversary}
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {First Anniversary}
Meeting Ashby for the first time: HERE
All of our China travel posts: HERE
Annette says
Shay, yet another beautiful and truthful way to describe adoption. All wrapped up in God’s love and grace. Just prayed for Him to continue to bless all of you. Also, I’m sure a lot of your friends and blog readers would agree that getting to come along side friends and family who adopt is an incredible gift. Such respect, admiration and love for those of you who have adopted!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
So cute, look how much Ashby has grown! Happy Gotcha Day! ❤️✨
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Ahna @ Hammers N Hugs says
Well, it was one year ago now that God used Ashby’s gotcha day video that you posted on Instagram to break my heart for our own adoption, and now we are on the waiting list to adopt our son! Wow. Always an adventure. I am so grateful He chose to use your sweet Ashby’s story in our lives, and I cannot wait to tell our son how his story started with a little girl in China. Sending you lots of hugs, Ashby, and I know the Lord will keep using you for His glory!! XO
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh my word!! Please, please, please keep me updated on your journey!!! xo
Ahna @Hammers N Hugs says
Will do, Shay!!
Abbey says
Well put. Adoption is one of the most beautifully hard experiences in this world. Thank you for being honest, yet private, about this subject. As a mom (whose 4 boys are adopted) I find it can be a delicate balance to share the joys of life along with the struggles in a way that is open, honest, and yet protective of our boys and their stories, thoughts, and feelings. Happy Family Day to Ashby!
Kate says
As someone who 1000% hopes and prays to adopt some day, I can’t say how much it means that you’ve so beautifully shared the wonderful and honest adoption journey you’ve all been on. I started reading your blog in December 2014 right as you were heading out to meet your precious girl, and I’ve enjoyed every adoption update since. Happy Family Day/month to Ashby and all of the Shulls!
Also, I’ll never forget you talking about how they dressed her in all brand new clothes. It still breaks my heart open to this day. Xx
Mix and Match Mama says
I will keep those clothes forever. She was even wearing a brand new scarf…it makes me tear up too. God bless you. xo
Amanda Wilsom says
This kid hasn’t stolen the hearts of so many!!! She is why I started following your blog!! We have been on the wait list in Haiti for 2 years for our son. Can you give an update on Ashby’s health?? Does she have to do more surgeries??
Mix and Match Mama says
Awe! Best of luck with Haiti!! Are you a part of our FB group? There are many families in there awaiting children from Haiti. Her health will be a lifelong battle. It’s something we just wake up every day and tackle again. Thank you for asking. We’re hoping that over time, there will be some medical breakthroughs to help her.
Erika Slaughter says
What a sweet sweet post about your brave Ashby who happens to be a Slaughter favorite!! We love her so very much!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Jen says
Congratulations on “graduating” out of the system, and on Ashby’s gotcha day!!
Also, I had a mini panic attack when I clicked through from my blog reader (and from my email) to read this post and your entire website was just blank white for me! Turning off my ad blocker made everything re-appear! So strange! Glad I was able to find you! LOL
Elyse says
Thank you for sharing her with your internet friends! She is such a gift and a blessing. I also started following you before you went to go get her in China and to see your family now is so amazing. I talk about adopting a lot with my husband and hope one day I am lucky enough to get the chance. Thank you for being such a great role model <3
Lauren says
What a gorgeous, honest post. Blessings to your family in 2020! xo
Becky Cowen says
We finalized our adoption this past August for our two boys (ages 6 and 5). They moved in last January. Not going to lie… This past year has been rough! Adoption is messy. There is hurt. There is loss. AND IT IS 100% WORTH IT!!!
Our adoption story:
https://thecowencrew.com/2019/08/10/his-plan-is-better/
Mix and Match Mama says
God bless YOU, Becky!! xx
Lauren says
Thank you for posting! It gives hope to us still waiting for our China babies. We started the process 18 months ago and are a waiting family…I am hopeful this is the year we find her and bring her home to her forever family.
Melanie says
4 years ago God used this little space on the internet and your sweet Ashby to continue to work in my heart towards adoption. I can’t tell you how many times I searched this space to read and educate myself and answer so many questions about international adoption. Happy to say we have now had our sweet and spicy China girl for 17 months! I appreciate your openness to the “hard”. I, too, sometimes forget all the “extra” that comes along with adoption because, like you said, it’s not something we think about everyday, because she’s our daughter and it feels like she’s been ours forever. We traveled out of town over the holidays and we sat near an Asian family and my daughter’s eyes lit up and said “mama, mama, they look like me” with the biggest smile on her face. It hit me in the gut to wonder what all goes on in her little mind as she’s with her blond haired-blue eyed siblings. Thanks again for sharing your story! Happy 5 years to your incredible Ashby, that inspires us all!! Woo Hoo, no more paperwork! I pray hearts are stirred today for babies to find their forever families!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh my goodness, Melanie! Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I am just overjoyed by this!!!
Kim S. says
We adopted our son from foster care at the age of two (we got him at 18 months and he is now seven). Last night he asked me if I will give him away like his tummy mommy (what we call his birth mom) did. It broke my heart that he doesn’t get yet that our family is forever. Adoption is hard but it is so incredibly rewarding!
Mix and Match Mama says
God bless your sweet family!!
Meagan Ruse says
So thankful for adoption! And so thankful that the Lord lead your family to sweet Ashby. She is one incredible, amazing girl! Pure joy!
Mother Henn says
This breaks my heart and fills it all at once. I found your blog right as you were leaving to meet Ashby, and have followed ever since. You guys feel like a part of the family, and I appreciate you sharing the ups and downs and so much of the in-between. I’ve been in prayer for your family, adoption, and our own path as a result of your words. Thank you for giving us a glimpse and for sharing your faith throughout all of it.
Adri says
I’ve loved following along on this journey!! Thank you for sharing what your family experienced with the more challenging parts of adoption. It’s easy for people on the outside looking in to forget that even in the best circumstances, adoption still involves the trauma of a child being separated from his or her biological parents. I think it’s important to acknowledge that hard stuff, alongside all the beauty, so adoptees know their experience of holding pain amidst the joy of a new family is normal. <3
Amy Rae says
What a beautiful post. Wishing you and your family a year filled with lots of love, happiness, joy, and health!
Ingrid Dravland says
What a heartfelt post. Love this story and your family.
On another note…..love your necklaces you are wearing on your Instagram story today…..where did you get them?
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you. xo And to answer your second question, two are Kendra Scott and the other is from Nordstrom…Madewell, maybe?
Ingrid says
Thank you for replying! I just recently found your blog and am inspired by it. Thanks for sharing your journey, faith, family, and life. It is truly touching the lives of others. God Bless.
Ralinn says
This sweet precious girl has changed so much in so many ways. What a blessing she is to your family and you all to Ashby.
Kathy says
I love reading your adoption posts. They are probably my most favorite posts of all. Ashby has flourished over the past 5 years, and I enjoy reading about her progress and looking at all the pictures. I’ve been following you since Sean was on the Bachelor, and watching your family grow through adoption on your blog has been very touching. I can say from our family’s own experience, that adoption is amazing, beautiful, hard, and everything in between. Our sweet daughter Kara Anne was adopted at birth. Tragically, she only lived for 2 1/2 years, but God blessed us immensely through her life, and we know we will be with her again one day. karaannelang@blogspot.com
Narci says
❤️❤️❤️
Taylor says
Shay, your adoption posts always pull at my heart! I’ve always wanted to adopt after having our own biological children. Our sweet daughter is only 15 months, so I don’t believe it is in the cards for us just yet. My husband is also concerned that the love wouldn’t be the same with an adopted child compared to biological. I have asked him to pray about it for years down the road. I’m not sure how else to help him besides prayer. Happy gotcha day, sweet Ashby! ?
VERONICA says
One of my sweet boys once said he did not like feeling like the product of someone’s sin… oh, it just crushed me and totally changed how I talk about “sin” as a Christian in general…. God loves us so much that he gives us beautiful things… beautiful children… despite our sin…despite our mistakes… and that God had decided that you would get to know what its like to be His adopted child in a very special way… I have read your blog for at least 5 years… I’ve never commented, but thank you for listening to God and encouraging others to do the same!
Veronica in Indiana
Liz Thorson says
Lump in my throat, eyes filled with tears…Ashby landed in the dearest, most loving family forever. I am the mama of two sons, adopted as infants. They are soon to be 31 and 35 1/2 and the loves of my heart. I have followed you since a few years before Ashby joined your family and I must say, I feel like you and your family are a part of my family even though we’ve never met!
Here’s to precious Ashby and your dear family on her 5th Gotcha Day! Love to you, Shay!
Anna Hancy says
As crazy as it is to put this all into words, I was reading your blog when I felt the Lord tell me we would be doing this some day – that we would adopt a little girl from China. It’s been a long journey and years in the making, but we leave tomorrow to meet our girl! We can’t wait. Thank you for your openness and willingness to share your story. You really are an encouragement to many and God is using your story to inspire His purposes in others!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh my gosh!! I literally just said that out loud!!!! Amazing!!! Please send me pics once you’re united as a family!!!
Melissa Terry says
As much as I love your recipe and book posts, it’s the adoption ones that are always my favorite. Without knowing it, you have encouraged me through our process which has gone on for several years now. Thank you for your honesty, your joy and your openness when discussing all the things (including the hard). It is such a balm to this mama’s heart to know that while there will be tough days ahead, mostly there will be joy. We can’t wait to bring our baby home THIS YEAR! Happy Gotcha Day to your sweet family xo
Amanda @ That Inspired Chick says
God bless that sweet girl!! This post made me tear up. xoxo
An says
These posts. They are all the feels. Your stories and honesty played a significant role in our decision to adopt, and we are starting year two of our wait. Thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️
Janet says
I have so enjoyed watching Ashby blossom into the spunky girl she is today. Thank you for sharing your family with us.
Elaine Welte says
So excited for your family and year 5!!! That’s awesome that you won’t have any more social worker visits for Ashby! She looks so happy and well adjusted! Also, I started reading your blog long before you brought Ashby home and I can’t believe it’s been that long!
Ruth says
Goodness, five years already? I watched your Instagram account just waiting to see your precious girl? thank you for sharing your adoption journey and happy gotcha day, Ashby! It’s been fun watching her blossom these past five years.
Carly says
Happy Gotcha Day Ashby! We pray for you everyday and thank God for the inspiration and bravery you give us. Do you still have her sweet little outfit? Kind of like the baby blanket that babies get cleaned in
Mix and Match Mama says
I do. I will keep that outfit forever. Thank you so much for praying for her. xo
Amy says
That penguin pj photo of the 3 of them together for the first time is so lovely.
Kristen Wood says
I love this! We leave in 9 days to head to China to meet our daughter!!! Your family’s story has been so impactful on me-thank you for sharing your life with us all!!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh my goodness!!!! Please, please, please email me pics once you’re united!!!! I’m just so excited for you!!
Kristen Wood says
Will do!!!