Hey, hey, hey…
…I’m back in blog world AND IT’S THE 8TH ANNIVERSARY OF ASHBY’S GOTCHA DAY!
Eight years ago today, our family of four grew by one absolutely amazing little girl.
Just like the birth of my bio kiddos, I remember all the little amazing/overwhelming/excited/crazy cool details from the day I became this sweet girl’s mama. After six months of looking at her photos, it felt beyond surreal to finally hold her in my arms and know she was officially mine.
Eight years ago feels like a million years ago because honestly, can any of us imagine our lives without Miss Ashby? It’s hard for me to recall one family memory without our girl. She might have entered our lives two years and seven months after her birth, but it feels like she was there from the beginning.
Ashby is ten years old but already has defied so many odds. Her spirit is so naturally sweet, thoughtful, sensitive and caring, but within her core is a fierce fighter and the toughest human I’ve ever known. She’s overcome physical issues, health issues, emotional issues…she’s faced trauma time and time again (with no end in sight) and pushed through every single time with a joy and radiance.
Ashby loves celebrating her Gotcha Day. Where Madeley isn’t interested in talking about being adopted, Ashby very much enjoys the conversation. Ashby likes to talk through the details, ask questions and ponder and think about the circumstances that brought her to our family.
She’s a very thoughtful soul.
She asks a lot of questions.
She thinks and ponders.
She’s insightful and reflective.
She is her own person growing up as an Asian American with a physical disability living thousands of miles from where she was born with no information about where she came from and what her roots are…and she ponders that. Ashby is never afraid to ask questions no matter how serious/silly/thoughtful/hard they are. We love that she loves to ask. We love that she is deeply thinking about this life she lives. Our hope and prayer is that we support and love her as she grows into a healthy adult that just happens to have a complicated past.
Ashby is sunshine. She’s joy.
She’s loves her friends and family BIG. She loves her teachers and therapists too. She just LOVES to love on people.
She loves being outside. She LOVES being active!
Ashby doesn’t love when people tell her where she’s limited in life…she has an innate desire to defy the odds. To do this life on her terms.
No matter the obstacle, Ashby shines.
Eight years ago today, we had no idea who we were meeting. Little did the four of us know, we were meeting our hero.
A few days ago, I asked you what you wanted to hear more about this year on my blog, and so many of you said “Ashby things”.
Here are a few of your questions/thoughts about our sweet girl…
Awwwww! I love incorporating Ashby into my content!
Right now, Ashby is halfway through the 4th grade, and it’s been a wonderful year. She has two amazing teachers that we love plus a new to her dyslexia teacher that has really made a huge difference in Ashby’s growth. Ashby is currently undergoing the dyslexia program at our school because her brain has a hard time reading and especially writing when she’s naturally right-handed but being forced to use her left hand. She loves to write, but has a hard time physically holding a pencil and legibly writing which is why we’ve been in occupational therapy for many years. Thank goodness we live in 2023 where it’s very normal to use electronics for communicating. This has opened up so much in her world as she can type and express herself easily when not holding an actual pencil/pen. As much as she loves writing though, our girl THRIVES AT MATH AND SCIENCE! She is 100% my STEM kid 🙂 . I cannot wait to see what career path she takes as I know it will have something to do with math and technology.
We had several doctor appointments to wrap up 2022, and it looks like surgery #24 will take place sometime this year (the date is TBD). Regular surgeries are just the reality of her life as are daily injectable medicines and therapies. We want our girl to live the happiest and healthiest life possible and in order for that to happen, we need amazing doctors who can provide the surgeries and medicines to keep her safe…but we also rely on our pediatrician to make sure she’s emotionally healthy too. I’ve learned so much as a parent over the last eight years and one of my biggest lessons has been to take care of the whole kid not just the physical. We are doing everything we can to insure a happy and healthy daughter.
Ashby’s current hobbies include soccer (a new season is just about to start!), her cheer/tumbling class, skiing in the winter, swimming during the summer, she loves to do anything outdoors (riding her bike, her scooter, walking the dogs) and she is MISS SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. Our front door rings constantly, and it’s always for Ashby.
I love this question but wish I knew exactly how to answer it. I’ve been around enough adoptions to know that ours is very “average” (in my opinion). Many of my friends have adopted kiddos and, for the most part, I would say that there is always some sort of “thing”. Whether it’s having a kiddo with health issues, learning difficulties, anxiety, complicated legal issues with the foster care system…there is always “something”. I feel like I’ve been pretty transparent about our “thing”. Our sweet girl has a very serious life-threatening medical condition that’s required 23 surgeries to date, multiple therapies, daily injectable medicines and treatment for her mental health. I know that some of you might think I’m just not sharing other issues (perhaps trauma as a result of not knowing her story/bio parents/so many other things she could be upset about), but honestly, that hasn’t been an issue (as of now). Learning the English language (as a child who didn’t connect to ANY spoken language for 2 years and 7 months) has been challenging which is why we’re so grateful to her speech therapist, learning how to write with her non-dominant hand has been a huge issue which is why we’re so grateful to her occupational therapist…but those things have all been discussed multiple times. I’m glad our adoption looks lovely…I hope that our story inspires other people to adopt. There are MILLIONS of kiddos just like Ashby and Madeley that need forever families.
The older Ashby gets the easier things get…but also the harder things get.
It’s easy now because she understands her own health, knows the warning signs for blood clots and aneurysms, knows her physical restrictions, knows why we’re having surgery, why we’re going to the doctor AND ADVOCATES FOR HERSELF. I mentioned this a few months ago but at her last appointment with her “main” doctor, he joked that it was a whole lot easier treating Ashby before she had an opinion. Ha! She has no problem (politely) looking her surgeon in the eye and saying “nope, I’m not wearing that compression garment”. I love that. As much as I want to be her advocate the rest of my life, I know she needs to eventually learn to be her own.
That being said, it gets harder the older she gets because now, SHE KNOWS. She knows she’ll never stop having surgeries. She knows she’ll never be “fixed” or “cured”. She sits in appointments now and she knows and understands the words that are thrown around like blood clots, aneurysms…amputation. She knows. This is why Andrew and I are doing whatever we can to make sure she stays mentally healthy as well. Can you imagine as an adult having this burden? I can’t. I would have anxiety and probably depression. Ashby lost her sparkle for a season, but with the right medication and support, she has it back.
Happy Gotcha Day to our sweet Ashby London!
Eight years ago, we “got” the opportunity of a lifetime…to be your family. We thank God every single day for that joy. xx
To see all of my posts on our adoptions, please scroll and click below…
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 6 Years
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 5 Years
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 4 Years
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 3 Years
Madeley’s Post Adoption: 2.5 Years
Madeley’s Gotcha Day {2nd Anniversary}
Madeley’s Post Adoption: Month 21
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 18
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 15
Madeley’s Gotcha Day {1st Anniversary}
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 11
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 10
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 9
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 8
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 7
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 6
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 5
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 4
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 3
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 2
Madeley Post Adoption: Month 1
Meeting Madeley for the first time: HERE
All of our China travel posts: HERE
To see more about our journey to adopt Ashby, see below:
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {7th Anniversary}
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {6 Year Anniversary}
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {5 Year Anniversary}
Ashby’s Post Adoption: 4.5 Years
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {4 Year Anniversary}
Ashby’s Post Adoption: 3.5 Years
Ashby Gotcha Day {Third Anniversary}
Ashby Post Adoption: 2.5 Years
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {Second Anniversary}
Ashby’s Gotcha Day {First Anniversary}
Meeting Ashby for the first time: HERE
All of our China travel posts: HERE
Lauren says
What an amazing little girl you have Shay. She is such an inspiration to us all! We will continue praying for her and for you & Andrew to continue to guide her as she grows.
In other news, I know a little boy who recently received treatment at St. Jude and I can’t help but stop and think “that treatment he’s getting is because of people like Shay who helped raise money for St. Jude!” Thank you for all you do, not only for your own family and friends, but for other people in need too. You are such a light in this world!!!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh Lauren, that sweet little boy. I’m so thankful for St Jude and what it does for children like him!! xx
Dawn Timmons says
Hi Shay! Welcome back! You were missed! I am smiling with tears in my eyes as I read this “Gotcha Day” post. I pray for Ashby. Years ago, Andrew shared on your blog about the Echo Prayer app. Ashby is on mine. I will be praying for #24. I hope your holidays and travels were fabulous. I hope 2023 is the best yet for you and your family. ❤️
Susan Jeffries says
I remember when you added this sweet girl to your family. What a blessing! And it has been a joy to watch her grow! Congrats!
Erika Slaughter says
HAPPY GOTCHA DAY ASHBY!!! Um, in that first picture is it just me or does Ashby look 16?! Time, please slow down! And it wasn’t just you guys who “got” all the fun. Getting to love that girl from the sidelines has been a blessing to us all. Love you, Ashby! XOXO
Elspeth says
I love how open you are with your children and adoption stories! Happy Gotcha Day Ashby! Welcome back Shay!
http://www.Elspeth’sdaybyday.com
Shanna says
Goodness, I love that Ashby Shull so very much. She gives the very best hugs and ALWAYS has a smile. She has brought joy, sunshine, laughs and I can’t even fathom life without her. This post brings tears, but joyful tears knowing she’s in the perfect family that will always help her thrive. Thank you for letting us love her and count her as one of ours. We love you big, Ashby!
Sarah says
Happy Gotcha Day! What a blessing for you to all have each other.
Audrey Grone says
SHAY!!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹 I’ve been following your sweet family since you were a family of four. I teared up at this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your family with us. Ashby is so inspiring and so are you as a mom. God bless you all 🤍
Julie says
It is so beautiful how Ashby changed your lives forever, and you changed hers. Adoption is incredible. I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating your little hero! I love hearing more about her and all that she has overcome. She is such an inspiration.
SS says
Happy Gotcha Day!!! Like I tell my sweet neighbor who adopted from China years ago… We sure are glad your family Gotcha!! Thanks for sharing Ashby’s story with all of us!!!
She may be your kiddo, but there is a big community thinks the world of your whole family!!!
Kathy says
Happy Gotcha Day! Love reading about Ashby and how she’s thriving in your beautiful family. I have prayed for her over the past 8 years, and I’m so glad to hear that she has gotten the support she needs to keep fighting and enjoying life!
Rachel Shafer says
Happy Gotcha Day Ashby! She seems to be one brave, sweet amazing girl. Enjoy celebrating today :)!
Elizabeth Whisler says
Happy Gotcha Day Ashby! Ashby’s story is what brought me to your blog so I always know how long I’ve been reading your blog based on Ashby’s Gotcha Day. I remember Cassie from Hi Sugarplum posting something about the story of you guys travelling to China to get your girl and she linked your blog. I think I started following like 2-3 days before the big day and I’ve been a daily reader ever since. She’s such a fighter that warrior of yours and I hope she has the best day being celebrated!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh goodness, thank you so very much Elizabeth for the support over these last 8 years. xx
Andrea Conrad says
Happy Gotcha Day Ashby!!! Shay, I’ve told you this before, but Ashby and your family are a huge part of the reason we decided to pursue adoption too. We have 2 biological kids, one adopted kid and are in the (verrrrryyyyy long) process of adopting another precious little boy. Thank you so much sharing your heart about adoption. It truly is amazing!
Mix and Match Mama says
I’m so sorry this process is taking so long for you guys right now. What a blessing your family is!
Kelli says
Sweetest girl! ❤️
Paige E says
God has placed Ashby right in the middle of the loving, compassionate and able family with exactly the parents and sibs she needs. What a gift for all involved!
libby says
God is good. Thanks for sharing your sweet girl with us.
Brooke Richardson says
I just love her. Ashby inspires us all!!!
Deb Weber says
Happy Gotcha Day to Ashby and your sweet family! I needed to read this post today. It gave me much needed perspective, inspiration and joy! Continued prayers for Ashby!! Have the best day celebrating her.
Lindsay says
She is so lucky to have parents and a family like you. What an incredible life and incredible support you’ve given her!
SS says
Someone directed me to your blog when we were in the process of adopting our daughter from China (we brought her home in October the same year you brought Ashby home). You had a post from Andrew about his mindset about the process – I feel like he was reticent but then got on board or something like that. And it was just what my husband needed to read/see for the encouragement to fully embrace our moving forward. Thought you might like to know that! My husband was getting cold feet and I had prayed for God to work on his heart and Andrew’s post was part of that. Our daughter has been such joy. Our experience is probably average or even above average. Our guide told us 80% of kids responded like she did – she was so happy to be with us even in China. I think it helped b/c she had just turned 3, knew that she didn’t have a family and wanted one so badly. Sure, we’ve had a couple of extra things – like a couple of surgeries (she came home with a repaired cleft lip that needed revision and a cleft gumline which was repaired last year and orthodontics are a part of her journey)… But she is just a normal happy wonderful little girl who blesses our family over and over. I remember filling out the adoption tax form when we got back and it had the special needs checkbox and I checked “no”! And then quickly realized that technically she is a special needs adoption, but funny that’s not how we or anyone else would ever think of her. Can’t imagine life without her. I tried to push for #4 but my husband was not on board. – ha! I just remember chasing our 2nd son up the stairs and I caught him. I was overwhelmed by the love I had for him and just thought how different our lives would be without him. And what other child was out there who would bless our life like that who we didn’t know yet. So grateful God led her to us. Can’t imagine life without her!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh Sharon! I have chills! Bless YOU for following God’s calling and being bold. I am just SO blessed by your family’s story. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. xx
Sheaffer says
“Y’all met your hero.” Well, you know I bawled. So grateful I know your girl. So grateful y’all have been the most amazing parents to her (and best medical advocates out there). So grateful that Ashby has her sparkle back. What an amazing young lady she is becoming. WE LOVE YOU, ASHBY!!!
Jen says
I’m so glad that Ashby found her sparkle again. As someone who works in the mental health field, I appreciate your acknowledgment that mental health is as important as physical health. Treating the WHOLE person makes such a difference. Happy Gotcha Day to Ashby!
Andrea says
I teared up watching her take on that mountain in your Instagram stories. She is an absolute marvel!!!!
Andrea says
I teared up watching her take on that mountain on your Instagram stories. She is an absolute marvel!
Sandy Blitch says
I remember when Ashby came into your family, I cannot remember when I started reading your blog, but it was before that little gift from God. She changed your family dynamics, as expected, but for the better! Thank you for sharing your precious family with all of us. Additionally, thank you for leading some of us to The Bible Recap. I am loving that I now have added that to my daily worship time.
Kerry says
Ashby is beautiful. I’m in awe of her whenever you tell a story about her! We can all learn from her. And, we’re ALL lucky that you found her and she found you.
Donna Cook says
What a beautiful tribute to your daughter! I don’t remember how I found your blog but ever since I did you have become my absolute favorite. I have read every single post and love all the different aspects that you incorporate into it….. from fashion, cooking, home decor but especially family and travel. Your love of God inspires me to be a better person! Keep up the good work and know that you are touching so many people!
sandi says
Echoing what others have said about watching your family from afar and the honesty in which you post. Adoption is hard and eye opening and not all sunshine and rainbows (we have not adopted so I don’t know from personal experience, but we did foster for a season when our children were younger). Teaching Ashby to advocate for herself is an amazing thing and I love that she feels confident enough to speak up and have an opinion. Our youngest has some learning challenges, nothing major, but the advances in technology are happening so fast that I cannot imaging dealing with some of these things even 40 years ago. So glad for the resources available to help Ashby learn.
Jordan C says
Excuse me while I wipe my tears! She seems like the most special little girl. I’m so glad you got to be her family. Happy Gotcha Day Ashby London!
Kasey says
The sweetest update that has me in tears. What an honor that GOD chose yall to be her family. She is equally as blessed as you feel towards her. Love reading this update on sweet A! Cheers to 2023 and her ROCKING IT!!!!
Karah Stracener says
Happy Gotcha day to your sweet Ashby. What a warrior she is…thanks for sharing. She is just beautiful!! Continued prayers for her and the next surgery.
Andrea says
Shay. Shull. This post ❤️ love you and Ashby so much! Happy Gotcha day, sweet girls!!!
Suzy says
I don’t know why but I cry every time you talk/write about your Sweet Ashby! I hurt for her, I smile for her, I pray for her! What a precious gift she is in this hard world! Beautiful inside and out!
Jennifer Menniti says
Happy Gotcha Day, Sweet Ashby! I have followed your family since you set out to pick up your newest addition, and it has brought me such joy to see your family grow throughout these past 8 years. I even remember emailing with you when we were deciding on relocating to Allen from CT! You are just so personable that I didn’t think twice about reaching out. I read your update with tears because even though we’ve never met I have loved seeing your family support and love your children, but also not shy away from sharing the tough times too. It is what makes your family so unique. Thank you for your honesty, joy, and strength. I wish Ashby so much health and happiness as she grows and continues to excel!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh goodness, thank you so much. This just means the world to me.
Carol says
What a lovely young girl she has grown into!
She seems like an old soul
I pray that others whose lives have started in a similiar way find families to love them as you do.
Andrea says
Love reading this post about Ashby. It is very inspiring.
Deena says
I remember very well when you were in China getting ready to pick up Ashby and then bringing her home. She’s had a special place in my heart (& prayers) ever since. I’m so happy that she got the perfect family for her and also that she’s got her sparkle back. Happy Gotcha Day!
Danielle Schrader says
I am dyslexic and school was always hard, feeling less than in a family of readers. As an adult I read “The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain
Book” by Brock Eide and Fernette Eide. It was super empowering to find out that the dyslexic brain does a lot of things way better than the neurotypical brain.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!
Joy says
Happy Gotcha Day beautiful Ashby! I loved reading this post and happy to hear Ashby is thriving and getting better with her disability. Nothing is impossible with God and I pray her physical healing manifest .
Miya Thalmann says
Happy Gotcha and Coming Home Day to Ashby and your family! My parents call it our Coming Home Day and we love to celebrate it every year as well. Almost if not bigger than my birthday.
Ashby is a fighter and I’ve enjoyed hearing about your family’s adventures! Adoption is amazing and as a now 30 year adoptee it continues to be more special every year. It’s a day filled with gratitude and love.
Happy New Year!
-Miya
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh wow! This is amazing, Miya! Thank you so much for sharing YOUR story!! xx
Kelly Bonner says
Happy Gotcha Day sweet Ashby! 🙏🏻❤️
Kristy says
This is just the sweetest. You are such a champion of love for your kids. Your positivity is why I love to read your blog. I don’t know all the details nor are they mine to know, but those are hard things y’all deal with on the daily. And that makes me more in awe of all your positivity. You are a great mama.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you so much, Kristy. I wish I could hug you. xx
Dawn says
Ashby, I bet anything that other girls and boys around the country are celebrating gotcha days because their parents read about Ashby Shull and that made them decide to adopt! Now THAT is quite a legacy to have at 10 years old! Happy Gotcha Day!!
Mix and Match Mama says
Well that made me cry! Sending you so much love, Dawn!
Claire says
Oh Shay!! I’d be lying if I said I didn’t tear up reading this. Wow. Ashby just holds a piece of my heart and always will. The part that got me was just all the procedures she’s gone through and how grateful I am for your family to take her in. She really is so blessed, and you and Andrew take such amazing care of her. I really admire it. I think I’ve told you this before but I don’t know if I would’ve adopted without your inspiration. YOU did that, I hope you’re proud. It took a lot of prayer and seeing you go through the process and provide a loving home and family really encouraged me to take that step. Now, I’ve never looked back, and I’m so grateful for their presence in my family. Just wanted you to know the role you’ve played in my adoption journey and how grateful I am for you. Hope Ashby has been having a great gotcha day! Love that girl and will be praying for surgery 24 whenever it’s necessary to proceed.
Great to have you back in the blog world, Shay! You were very missed.
Mix and Match Mama says
Claire, I could cry!! Now, I’m tearing up! God bless YOU!
Beth Knecht says
Happy Gotcha Day to Ashby!
I love her drive, motivation and persistence!
Keep going sweet little girl!
Liz Thorson says
Shay, thank you for your wonderful tribute and update on Ashby! She is one amazing and precious girl who could not be any more blessed in becoming a member of the Shull family! I love learning more about her indomitable spirit, courage, grace and love for others and life! I am so thankful that you and Andrew believe in loving and caring for all aspects of your children’s health and well being.
I have followed your blogs since way before Ashby joined your sweet family. Our family became blessed through the adoption of two boys at birth. They are now almost 34 and 38 1/2. They, and their families, are our world.
Happy New Year to your dear family and and extra hug for Ashby on her Gotcha Day!
Mix and Match Mama says
Oh wow!! Liz! I love hearing about your family too!! God bless YOU!
Mandy says
How sweet is Ashby! Just love her name. I had the chills reading this, new follower here!
Mix and Match Mama says
Welcome! I’m so happy you stopped by!! Please come back and visit again 😉 .
Alyssa says
Hi! We have a 2 month old who has a long journey ahead of surgeries. Any sweet ideas of family traditions around surgery time? We are taking her older siblings to Build a Bear so they could make a stuffed animal for her next surgery. Are there things you guys do before or after each surgery to celebrate or encourage Ashby?
Mix and Match Mama says
I am so sorry that your family is having to embark on this journey. This will be a hard road for everyone as it really affects the entire family. I did a post a few years ago on our “pre-op routine” that you should read! It’s been tweaked a bit, but basically, we still do the same thing. For us, routine is the best way to make sure we have a peaceful day. We’ve added a lot of “fun” things throughout but honestly, when push comes to shove, the fun isn’t ever as much fun when you all know what’s about to happen. A good routine keeps us calm and gives us peace day of. Sending you so much love, mama!! https://mixandmatchmama.com/2019/07/pre-op-routine/
Alyssa says
Thank you for your helpful response!
Paula says
How has it only been only 8 years? Ashby seems like she’s been here forever since you started. She’s a joy & I enjoy seeing all of your kiddos grow, change & become who God intended.
Debbie Hibbert says
Happy Gotcha Day, Ashby!❤ I’ve prayed for this beauty many times, and will definitely continue to do so. Thank you for sharing, Shay.
Melissa Terry says
I always read your adoption posts through tears…both because of how precious your story is, but also because of how it’s intertwined with our adoption story now. Thank you for sharing with such honesty and JOY. Watching you walk through this process gave me such encouragement and I know it does many more. Happy Gotcha Day to your sweet Ashby!
Sharon says
I am married to an adoptee. In our experience, the trauma of not knowing your own story hits deep as an adult. It breaks my heart for my spouse. My hope for Ashby is to one day have a supportive life partner that will be there when She enters adulthood.
Allison Tronnes says
Can you share more information about the dyslexia diagnosis? My daughter was just diagnosed as well, and we are exploring therapy options.
Mix and Match Mama says
The school district tested her and then we also paid a private therapist to test her as well (just to confirm) and make sure we were on the right path. She is currently a part of our school district’s dyslexia program which pulls her out of class for 20 minutes, four days a week for individual work. She’s thriving in it!