Happy Thursday, friends!
I just love a Thursday 🙂 .
Sip that PSL and settle in. It’s another edition of…
And today, it’s all about…TEENAGERS!
I have loved every stage of parenting. None of them have been perfect, but I have found a lot of joy in each stage.
In fact, you know how it goes…I’m always sad when one chapter of parenting ends because I always think the next one “can’t be as good”, but after 18 years, I have learned that there is joy in every chapter.
Today, I thought I’d focus on those teens…
…because I have a lot of them 🙂 .
I made me a little list of my TOP FIVE and BOTTOM FIVE aspects to raising teenagers.
I’ll share my list, and then I hope you share yours too!
Of course, I’m going to keep this light and fun because these kiddos are a gift.
Here we go, these are my TOP FIVE FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT RAISING TEENAGERS…
#5: THEY ARE REALLY FUNNY
Teenagers crack me up. My teens are funny, my kids’ friends are funny. Their wit and charm and sense of humor keep me laughing. Little kiddos are funny in their own way, but teenagers can be downright hysterical. Not only are they funny, but they (finally) get my humor too which makes them extra fun to be around. Teenage topics can be heavy, so I think it’s a bonus that we can often temper the heavy with the funny. It’s such a nice balance.
#4: THEY ARE SO SO HELPFUL
Little kids are not helpful. Teenage kids are crazy helpful. I remember when they were all younger, we used to joke that we needed another adult living in our house. There weren’t enough hands on deck, and we could easily feel outnumbered. All of a sudden (and it did happen really fast), these teens arrived and instead of needing us to help them bathe, buckle up, tie shoes, reach the cups, etc,…they turned into humans who could take out the trash, do their own laundry, run to the grocery store to grab us milk, walk the dogs…holy cow, it’s so easy!
Anytime we are with my extended family, Andrew and I get our cuddles in with the smaller kids. We enjoy every minute of that little kid time, but then we always joke that when the family is all going home to get their “bedtime routine” going, we are just having to worry about ourselves. I loved bath time and story time and sing songs time and tuck you in time and yes, I loved it all. It’s not too shabby just getting yourself to bed though. You kind of forget how indulgent that is when you’re in the trenches with small kids…but you get it back when you have teens.
#3: THEIR “THINGS” ARE JUST SUPER FUN
Teenagers “things” are just super fun. Their sporting events are fun. Their hobbies are fun. It’s just all so much fun to experience and do these “things” with these older people. I’ve always loved traveling with my kids, but traveling with teens is a new, super fun thing too. Instead of me driving/initiating/shuttling/leading them to these events/trips/errands/whatever…we doing it more “together” now that they’re older. They have opinions and ideas and are able to “hang” on an adult level…and it’s just greatness. Even just grocery shopping with my kids at this age seems more fun.
#2: THEY ARE INDEPENDENT (BUT ALSO NOT AND I LOVE THAT TOO!)
I love, love how independent all of my kiddos have gotten as they’ve morphed into teens. They know how to communicate with their teachers and coaches. They can whip up their own snacks or meals if they’re hungry. They can wash that uniform and let the dogs out without needing permission. They’re just these independent individuals. Buuuuuuuut I also love how they’re still “not” too big. They still want me to cuddle a bit. They love it when I make the pancakes because “I do it best”. They want me to read over their essays and go with them to buy the supplies for their project. They’re independent but they still need mama. It’s a sweet spot.
#1: THEY ARE GENUINELY THEIR OWN PEOPLE NOW
When my kids were little, Andrew and I used to wonder/guess/predict what they’d be like as adults. Right now, I can pretty clearly see what kind of adult their shaping up to be…and that’s really fun. They have their own very unique personalities, interests, hobbies, worries, fears, ambitions, goals, desires…they’re all “them”. I am just really, really loving getting to know these people as they’re getting to know themselves.
Let’s be real though, there are a few things about raising teens that are a little less joyful 😉 .
Here are my BOTTOM FIVE THINGS ABOUT RAISING TEENS…
#5: THERE ARE A LOT OF OPINIONS NOW
Gone are the days when I could make what I wanted for dinner with zero pushback. Or dress them in Matilda Jane with giant bows in their hair. Or insist that their friends be only the children of my friends. Nope. As stated before, they’re real, big, individual people now…with opinions.
#4: THEY’RE EXPENSIVE
Teen things are just way more expensive. Their hobbies and activities come with hefty bills (it’s crazy!). They eat a ton, so groceries and restaurant tabs are more. They’re still outgrowing things, so when you have to buy them those shoes that are “adult priced” you know that the odds of them still fitting in six months is slim. Toddlers play with empty boxes…teenagers do not.
#3: THEY CHALLENGE YOU
I love that I’m raising independent thinkers…until they’re using those skills against me.
#2: OTHER PARENTS
I’ve said this before, but in my experience the hardest part about raising teens are the other parents. It blows my mind what parents don’t just allow but encourage/pay for/support in their homes and with their children (and their children’s friends).
When you’re having playdates with toddlers, you’re pretty much all on the same page. Let’s cut the grapes so no one chokes. Let’s make sure they’re not pushing each other down the slide. All eyes on the kids if we’re in/around a pool. Everyone has common goals. You never think in that moment that fast forward a decade and what you deem “safe” (and legal!) and what the other person deems as safe (often illegal) could be so opposite. It blows my mind that in 2026, it’s often the parents I have to worry about more than the other teenagers.
And finally, my least favorite part about parenting teens is…
#1: THEY’RE ABOUT TO FLY THE NEST
This is such a wonderful, fun, sweet season…but it’s the final season of them being under our roof. Next year, no matter how happy all of the Shulls are where the Lord has planted them, it won’t be the same. It will never be the same. It will be new and fun and different and special in its own way (I just know it!), but it won’t be “this”, and Andrew Shull and I really love “this”.
And that, my friends, are my TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: TEENAGERS
Now…
It wouldn’t be a TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE without Andrew weighing in too.
Apologies, apologies, apologies to my sweet husband! I always email him and ask him to send in his answers because I don’t want to read/hear his responses before I write mine down. In person and/or text would be hard for me not to hear/read. I emailed him earlier this week with a topic that…I later realized we had already done. Andrew was a trooper and did this twice. Thank YOU!
Here are his…
ANDREW’S TOP FIVE THINGS ABOUT RAISING TEENS :
#5: I know everyone reading this would share this sentiment. God gave Shay and me the BEST kids. Not perfect, just like we aren’t, but to me, they are perfect. For me, being able to take care of them and watch them turn into adults has been the biggest blessing of my life.
#4: I LOVE seeing their personalities evolve. To name one for each kiddo: Kensington’s sarcastic wit, Smith’s quick banter (he gets that from Uncle Sean), Ashby’s incredible way of telling a story that gets all six of us laughing (especially her giggle, which makes me laugh more), and Madeley’s joy that makes every topic just sweet.
#3: I love this phase of being what I call a guide or a coach. When they are little, you are in the cop phase. In this phase, they still have to do what we say, but I like having the conversation. And you know what? Sometimes I see their point of view, and I change my mind on a topic.
#2: Always having something to do or go see. Teenagers are so busy!
#1: Family dinners and them just being around. ALWAYS a good time! I try to “record” in my head these memories. Summers are better for this, but in our busy moments now, I try to never forget to stop and hit record.
ANDREW’S BOTTOM FIVE THINGS ABOUT RAISING TEENS :
#5: The laundry never stops. I don’t put up their laundry, but because I keep all laundry separate, I will flip a load for each kid, and they put it up. However, I swear it’s like they are in a constant wardrobe change because I am doing it all the time!
#4: For you “ticket listeners,” we’ve mostly moved past this phase—but every now and then, we get a little Dylan, the argumentative teen, and I can’t help but chuckle.
#3: Late nights and interrupted sleep. My Oura ring judges me, and I hate it for that.
#2: Thank you, Jesus, that when Shay and I signed up for job duties, I got the sports/activities job and she got school duty. If something happens to Shay, I would have to hire a full-time employee with benefits for this role as I am not equipped to handle it all!
#1: The sink is not the dishwasher, and the floor (every floor in the house) is not the dirty clothes hamper. I feel like they walk in and it’s like a scene in Iron Man and all their “equipment” starts coming off when they enter the door.
I heard this in either a sermon or a book one time, but whenever you are frustrated with your kids and the things that they do or don’t do, remember there are a lot of parents who were robbed of being able to parent. So, find joy even in the moment of frustration because some would give anything to have that frustration.
And those are the TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: TEENAGERS!
Make sure you check out these other TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE blog posts:
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: SCHOOL SUPPLIES
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: SUMMER GIVE UPS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: END OF SCHOOL YEAR
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: VALENTINE’S CANDY
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: CONDIMENTS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: HOLIDAY HOLIDAY THINGS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: STORE-BOUGHT COOKIES
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: THINGS ABOUT A FAIR/CARNIVAL
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: ICE CREAM FLAVORS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: SPRING CLEANING
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: TRAVELING BY PLANE
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: SKIING WITH YOUR FAMILY
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: CHRISTMAS MOVIES
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: HALLOWEEN CANDY
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: CEREALS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: HOUSEHOLD CHORES
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: CHRISTMAS SONGS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: THANKSGIVING FOODS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE ROAD TRIP SNACKS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: VEGETABLES
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: THINGS ABOUT FALL
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: CHRISTMAS FOODS
TOP FIVE, BOTTOM FIVE: SNOW DAYS
Now, it’s your turn!
I am positive you will have things to say about this topic 🙂 .
Please comment and share!
HAPPY THURSDAY, friends! I hope you all have the best, best day! I’ll see you tomorrow. xx
Laura Fuller says
yes, Yes, YES. Independence is awesome. They are fun to be around, their friends are hilarious. They can pick up the grocery order (this is a rite of passage in our family). All the adult things!
BUT. their problems are bigger, too. That’s really hard.
Emilee says
I am very much in the “little kid” stage of my parenting and I will say that I fantasize about the day I don’t have to give children a bath. I’m sure I’ll miss it, but I hate walking out of our kids’ bathroom looking like I was sitting in the Splash Zone at Sea World. 😂
Mix and Match Mama says
You will find it oh so glorious 😉 .
Lauri Wertz says
Other parents. Yes, yes, and yes. It’s sad and scary!
andrea in mn says
Y U P – That’s all I got.
Michelle says
I 100% agree with this post…both your top 5 and bottom 5, and for sure the part regarding the difference in parenting. It’s so hard and frustrating. 😢
Hallie says
I love these posts and this one was so fun to read! I am expecting baby number 4 (very similar age gaps to yours) and very much in the thick of it, but I love that you find joy in all the parenting phases and it encourages me to do the same! When your kiddos were little did you have any routines or systems with the kids that made things a little
More organized?
Mix and Match Mama says
I had so many systems and routines…and some of them were great while others were a big waste of time (like why did I care so much that the Legos were organized?). If you go back on my blog (you can look through the archives on the right hand side!), I am positive you will see many many many posts on the topic!
Katie Compton says
Shay, you’re #2 of your Top Five made me giggle thinking about a recent convo with our college sophomore. She had just shared a house tour with her roommates and we were so impressed with how they had set up and decorated and really made a little home for themselves… and then we get a text a little while later asking how long is too long to eat leftovers. #9daysistoolong. 🤣
Vesta Surles says
I love both of your lists! Just wait until they are “adulting” – it’s super fun but also hard because the stakes are often higher!
Sara says
I have a preteen (12) and I love it! Hands down the worst part for me is the schedule adjustment; like the late nights. This mom is ready for bed at 9:45 not gearing up to pick you after somewhere after 10.
Laura says
Aw, I loved how respectful you guys were of them even in the “bottom 5.” Thanks for all the insights into what having teenagers will be like!
Nicotiana says
You’re going to be singing a different tune when they come home with tattoos, body piercings, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a 30-year old boyfriend from a biker gang. 🙀
Mix and Match Mama says
That I’m happy they’re independent? My kids live in a house with tattoos, piercings, and Jack Daniels so who am I to judge? 😉
Pamela Brightman says
This is a learning lesson/conversation, too. Moderation with alcohol and ideal placement of tattoos and piercings considering employment options and the like. My son turned 18 and a month later got a tattoo. Didn’t know he even wanted one. I was happy he even discussed it with me before doing it. He didn’t have to. While I did encourage him to wait, he was adamant. What can I do? We talked about placement and being able to cover it with clothing for his future career choice (pilot) and we talked about how expensive and painful removal is if he doesn’t like it or gets sick of it.
Paige E says
Shay! I 100% agree with the “other parent” situation! It really took me by surprise. I noticed it first when my oldest didn’t always go to the party or the group activtiy and I was worried he was being antisocial. I didn’t realize he was avoiding some things the parents were allowing/encouraging. My youngest is now in the thick of social activities and is more vocal on why he doesn’t join his friends anymore on some things. I just couldn’t believe what parents are letting/supporting kids to do in their homes! I thought, there is no way it is that prevalent, but I was WRONG! What in the world??? And these are parent friends we’ve known the whole way and I thought we were on the same page with similar values? Not so much anymore. Trying not to be judgey but I find myself pulling away a lot. Thankful, so far, my kids see it too and are making some tough but good choices. But one thing they know is exactly where their parents stand on certain topics. If they make a different choice, they at least know without a doubt, its not what we would want for them. Hang in there!
Elspeth Mizner says
I always love these posts! So fun and interesting to see responses!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
SS says
Shay and Andrew so many fun things. I am so glad God gave me my hubby as my partner! I did some driving with kids, but he did most of it. It is nice when they are driving because they are very eager to drive and help you.
Some of the downs boy, the house feel empty when they are not here…like jobs, friends. Planning trips are hard with them having their lives. Shay, you will love this it goes with your quote about the degrees and what not….my hubby calls it the “spoiled milk test” no matter how many times we tell them that’s not a good idea, but you can say this until you are blue. However, they have to smell the spoiled milk for themselves to be sure. They have to try it, so they know for sure. Enjoy those kiddos takes those extra snuggles and help as you say they don’t stay little (or at home long).
Kelly Bonner says
I literally laughed out loud at the topic when I opened today’s blog! 🤣
Caitlyn Blalock says
As I sit holding my 3 month old baby it’s hard to imagine life with teens but you make it sound so fun!!!
Mix and Match Mama says
I have yet to find a stage I didn’t love. I bet you’ll feel the exact same way!
Paula Hobbs says
#2: THEY ARE INDEPENDENT (BUT ALSO NOT AND I LOVE THAT TOO!) This is spot on! I love that we’ve raised independent young adults, but it melts my mama heart when they “need or want” mama’s help!
I think the current season with our last bird at home is just the best. I love that we have some of the same hobbies (golf) and that he enjoys spending time with us. I miss all 3 of our kiddo’s that have already left the nest, but it is a very sweet season.
Beth Valenta says
Mine really mix with top and bottom…Driving is great that I don’t have to wait forever in lines, but the worry gets me and of course her running into our garage to avoid senior prank.
Dating…always the one I love, is the one she says goodbye to. Dressing…clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup alllll expensive and every changing for each occasion, but boy do I love a good dance to take pics or sporting event.
Nikki says
This is so accurate, especially the part about other parents. I found that shocking with our oldest that some parents would be fine allowing a bunch of 16 or 17 year olds to drink at their house. Wild, in my opinion. Much easier when they are younger and you can control their surroundings, but also so wonderful to see them grow into adults.
http://www.lifeunreconstructed.com
Kara says
I agree each stage of parenting has been our favorite, too. I love Andrew’s quote from the sermon. Goodness, that perspective is everything. I always try to be a “yes” mom and feel so grateful that “I get to”, not I have to. Our children are our whole world. I will add that having two teenagers at once aged me in dog years. HAHA!
Jamie says
I’m dealing with the “other parents” struggle right now. HS Seniors and parents are planning a spring break trip to the Dominican Republic – so their 18 year olds can drink. Some of these kids aren’t even 18 yet (my kid included) and expecting to go with no parents. A few parents are going to “chaperone” but I don’t even know them. We are going to be the MEAN parents and say our kid can’t go. It breaks my heart but the situation is just a huge red flag!
Kristen says
I struggle with this too! I was so shocked when I went to Aruba this past spring and saw how many parents were fine w/ their kids drinking.. and I mean freshman, sophmore and jr kids!!???? When did parents feel this is acceptable? It boggles my mind!
Allison says
Top things: Watching them become actual humans like you said! With hilarious personalities, sweet characteristics, opinions, and just being overall AMAZING people. I agree with Andrew – my kids are the most perfect, amazing people on Earth even though I know they aren’t actually perfect. Bottom things: THE DISHES, THE LAUNDRY. How many cups a day does one person need?!
LisaD says
All the food! Teen boys and their friends eat a lot. It’s certainly a bittersweet season. My teens are all “grown and flown” and I miss them so much BUT I love not having all the drama. I truly cherish the good times we had, and I let go of the hard times and remember that God is their lives.
Susan P Fitzpatrick says
I wholeheartedly agree with you and Andrew on all of these especially Andrew’s last paragraph. I have a friend who lost her 8th grade daughter in a car accident. It’s a reminder every day to not complain about my kids. They are truly a gift ❤️ I am a step ahead of you and I can say that young adult 20 somethings are fun too and still need their parents sometimes. 😉
Leslie S says
I definitely agree with you about other parents. I am shocked at what some parents allow, but it has been a good conversation for us to have with our teens. And I’m so with you on being sad about them leaving home. Raising kids is bittersweet. I’m so happy they are thriving, but oh how I will miss them.
AliJ. says
My Top 5:
1. Watch them evolve and find their loves and passions in life
2. Seeing with them with their friends because you see a side of them that you do not get to see
3. Watching them laugh. I have an only child, a daughter. You get her laughing and she sounds like Horseshack from Welcome Back Cotter which makes us all laugh that much more.
4. What a caring individual she really is and so kind to everyone around her – confirms we raised her right and she saw what we did when we were raising her.
5. Seeing them go on to their next journey – she is in her Plebe year. It has been tough but she has loved it.
Bottom 5:
1. The mouth! Oh my goodness, they can really use some very sharp words. When we were going through the college process, she called me one night to yell at me because she got into a school that was going to be $90K a year after assistance and scholarships. Called me a bad parent for not planning better. That stung and I was very hurt because we did plan very well for her education. And for the record, this school was never on her radar but she applied because it was a free application.
2. Parents that seem to want to be their teen’s BFF. Luckily for us, our daughter has very strong opinions and morals so we do not have to worry about her drinking or doing drugs. Whereas some parents were providing both – what the heck!
3. The expenses! Holy cow are they expensive! From their sports, to all the dances. Then you get to senior year, and there are even more expenses!
4. The competition with their peers, especially other girls. This was more in senior year and during the college process. The boys at her school would be “Oh great, I got into IU, I will go there!” My daughter and her friends were shooting for the stars and would get snarky with one another instead of supportive when someone would get into a top school.
5. How hard it is for when they do leave home for college! Mine went to boarding school so her freshman year was my hard year so I am used to it but man it was hard. Now that she is on the other side of the country, I only get to talk to her once or twice a week. I was used to talking to her every day.
Mix and Match Mama says
Thank you so so much for taking the time to share your top five/bottom five too!
Melissa B says
This was such a fun post. I love having a teenager. Staying up until they come home is hard- and that’s when they want to chat. Tired, but worth it. I’m curious what “ticket listeners” are and who Dylan is…
Mix and Match Mama says
The Ticket is that sports radio program we love down here. They have a “bit” where they talk to “Dylan” who is a teenager (and they’re all dads), and it’s so funny because it’s often so very true
Maddy says
I want the sermon comment tattooed on me and I hate tattoos! Ha! What a great reminder. After seven rounds of IVF, I was never sure if I would be able to become a mom. I am happy to say, I got my biggest blessing and prayer answered. What a great reminder that some people will never get that frustration.
Faith says
As an almost empty nester, I agree with all of your top 5/bottom 5. Our youngest graduates with her bachelors degree in May and gets married two weeks later. I joke with my friends that we are about to get a raise $$$. Enjoy all the moments! Even though it was hard to send them off to college, this stage also has many blessings.
Kathleen says
We have a deal in our family; I pay for the car/insurance, and my teens are now responsible for all of my Amazon returns 🙂
Amber says
I love this and I agree 100% with all of it! I have 3 teen boys and the oldest just went to college. What Andrew said hit hard this morning. I need to start looking at that perspective more. Thank you Andrew!!
Debra says
Love this post – so much great perspective from both you and Andrew.
sandi says
What a fun post! Our 4 are between the ages of 18-23… two out of college, one married in another state and two in college. I agree with your top five but would also add church attendance. My husband and I were out of town this weekend and drove through the state our daughter and son-in-law live in on the way home. We met them for church Sunday morning. It is such a joy to know our young adult children are choosing to attend church and small group bible studies. Our two college daughters in different cities have also found churches to attend, and our oldest son attends with a group of friends (I wish he would attend with us but at least he is going).
Bottom five would include them having a set of friends we do not know because they are meeting new people where they are. Also, we have influence but not as much. My husband had a difficult time because he and our married daughter are very close. She would call him for advice on numerous things when in college and her husband is now that sounding board. We have to step back and let him make decisions for them. Although we have appreciated them seeking our advice regarding purchasing a home and other things they are learning about as a new married couple.
They will always need us as evident by a recent conversation with our college freshman. She was taking apart a lamp to fix it (she is her momma’s daughter) and was shocked although electrocuted was her word and called to see if she was okay. I told her if she was talking to me she was alive and okay. And our college senior called last week because their HVAC was not working but she had checked the breaker box and air filters but didn’t know what to do next. I told her to call maintenance and they had it fixed a few hours later. So, still we are needed but they are learning to be independent.
Jenn Workman says
I am laughing at myself because I read the topic from my email subject line as “Top Five, Bottom Five: Teenagers & Sausage” and Sweet Potato Casserole. I was like oh, I’ve never head my friends mention anything about sausage and their teens😂 As we say here in the South, bless my little heart!
Mix and Match Mama says
I just snorted when I read this. Hahaha!
Bethany says
I love all of these, I would add to my bottom five my things go missing.. portable chargers, silverware and my shoes too the list, was never a problem when they were little.
Maria McDonald says
The other parents one hits home…. I was no angel when I was in highschool, but it blows my mind how some parents completely condone underage drinking in their home….
Kerry says
I would say that you and Andrew are on point on every single item. Every season has been fun and hard at times. The reality of them growing up and flying the nest is so challenging to walk through and experience. Being on the other side of a college graduate now I can say it just keeps getting better. God sure had a wonderful plan with letting us experience all the stages of children. Finally, I agree with Andrew wholeheartedly that it is not lost on me that there are people in the world that want kids but can’t have them or have had them and lost them. Parenthood is the biggest blessing ever.
Chelsie says
I only have one teenager, one almost teenager, and a 5-year-old, so I’m just getting started over here. Almost like I’m in the “free trial” version of being a mom to a teenager. I have learned the opinions are strong, they eat everything, and I apparently know absolutely nothing. But I really do love the ages they’re at right now.
Paige M Wright says
One of the things I did not expect when they go off to college is how I miss their friends too! When they all come home for breaks it is so fun to see their friends as well. I can’t count how many weddings we have gone to out of town for one of our “other children”. So very fun!!
Dana J says
1000% other parents!! It can also be jarring and shocking that some of the other parents are friends!
Jill Wimer says
You guys!!! You nailed it-my husband and I would say the exact same types of things. LOL yes to Andrew and your #1 bottom items too! ❤️
Deanna Gemmer says
Oh my gosh, that Ikea meme had me rolling! So true.
I too have loved every stage of parenting, finding the sweet in each one even amidst the challenge.
We are so grateful in these teen years to have a home our kids can bring their friends to – all it takes is a fridge full of soda and a drawer full of doritos. But these kids are good and kind and have big goals and I love being a trusted adult in their lives.